Crimson Memory Purple Snow



Authors note: This is a What-if-Gohan-san-died fanfic and about Piccolo- sama's feelings after that... Piccolo X Gohan are my favourite yaoi- coupling... but I guess this is neither that or Shounen-ai...

Anyway... I don't own DBZ 'cause if I did, Gohan-san would never get married to Videl-san (^_^)

This is my first DBZ fanfic, so be nice to me oki (o_O)

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He watched as the snow started to fall. It had been cold for so long now it didn't surprise him at all.

Shrugging, he pulled his heavy white cape closer as he still kept watching the heavy white snowflakes fall gently to the ground around him.

This reminded him of how he felt inside... Cold. It had been two days and he had finally stopped crying. Two days since he died.

He clenched his teeth as the pain in his chest rose again.

Two days.

Piccolo never thought he would feel this way.

Inside he saw it all again...

*****

They had been fighting three new foes, that were known as the Siblings.

They had been holding Piccolo as he tried to get to Gohan. He was made to watch as they fought with Gohan, the boy wasn't doing good. But he couldn't escape their grip. His whole world had fallen as he was made to watch the boy fall to his knees holding his hand hard over his chest trying in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding from a deep wound.

Then the boy was pierced on the sword and his blood flowed out of his wound.

Piccolo watched in pure horror at the twitching body of Gohan.

Laughing, the taller of the three lifted his sword with Gohan's still twitching body still there, he lifted it high into the air and cried out in victory, the strong boy had caused him and his companions great damage and now he had won over a seemingly unbeatable foe.

The two holding Piccolo down joined in and the three screamed out their victory in unison.

Pain sized Piccolo's heart squeezed it as if trying to kill him, but all he could do was watch them flung the now still body of Gohan aside, laughing as it hit the ground with a thud.

His little student was dead.

His love was dead.

The pain became to much, and his horror soon turned to sorrow and that became anger. Pure white flashed before his eyes, he could feel his strength grow.

His anger turned to hatred.

Before the two holding Piccolo could figure out what was going on with the namek, he was free of their clutches and was speeding towards the taller of the three.

*****

He shuddered again. That was only two days ago... Gohan's body was then taken of to the underworld to let him train there, Piccolo knew that.

But he couldn't accept the fact that the boy, his love, was dead.

Dead.

Gone.

Forever.

Falling to his knees he started to cry again. Bitter tears of guilt flowed down his jade cheeks. Bitter tears of self hate, this was all his fault. Gohan.

The usually controlled namek was slowly breaking down of sorrow. It was eating at him as a disease, the sweet warm love he had felt for that little boy had turned to bitter sorrow and deep pain.

He didn't notice that Goku had landed behind him and was now watching him. The namek was rocking back and forth as he cried out his bitter loss. Goku walked up to the namek and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

First then did Piccolo notice Goku. He looked up at him and Goku could see the immense pain in the namek's eyes. He didn't have to ask why, he knew, he knew all too well himself.

Slowly Piccolo tried to get his composure back to normal but before he could, Goku was kneeling down beside him and was watching him with a serious and creepy calm over his whole being.

"Piccolo-san..." he said, his hand gripping his shoulder-pad harder. "You... loved my son. I see that and you know I don't agree with how ChiChi has been acting about the two of you seeing each other... You loved my son?"

Piccolo could not answer, he hadn't have the strength to do it or the will to. So he nodded.

Goku smiled at him then. One of those typical smiles, one that Gohan had inherited from his father... Gohan.

Tears filled the namek's eyes again so he looked away. The snowfall became heavier.

"We should go inside... Come, you can come to my house if you like. To get out of the snow..." Goku fell silent as he saw Piccolo's back start to shake.

"To your house..." Piccolo's voice was dead calm. "So your female can call me a monster and blame me for... for his death. No, thank you." Piccolo started to walk away but Goku would not let him go, stopping him.

"It was my son, you BASTARD!! I loved him too. Don't you think we, his parents, suffer too?!" Goku's grip was getting harder, hurting the namek, but he could take it. Somehow he knew that this was Goku's way of dealing with the loss of his son.

With the loss of Gohan.

Goku's hand was trembling. His eyes glowed with fury and pain. This was his way of dealing with his loss... Piccolo knew that. So, slowly, he raised his hand and let it rest on the saiya-jin's shoulder. "I'm so sorry... you know I truly am..." his voice trailed off as the pain became more intense.

"Tch, Goku-san... my shoulder... AGH!!" Goku gripped the shoulder-pad harder, it shattered, and his gripping fingers dug into the namek's green flesh.

"GOKU..?!!" Piccolo could only stare in disbelief as the saiya-jin pulled his arm out of it's socket.

"My... son... you let him die! YOU LET GOHAN DIE!!" Tears was streaming down Goku's ebony eyes, slowly he loosened his grip and fell to his knees. He raised his hands and buried his face in them, staining it with the blood of the namek.

With the blood of his son's mentor and best friend.

For the longest time Piccolo stared at his little pupil's father.

This is the father I tried to take the place of... I hated him for having a part of Gohan's love... the love I need... to be able to feel...

(You truly do hurt... inside?) A voice said in his mind. The voice was sorrowful and the namek could feel a deep grief in it.

"Who..? Goku...? What do you mean?" Piccolo stammers and look down at the crying saiya-jin.

(Let me see what happened... I wasn't there... I never saw... Let me see what happened to my son.) Goku's mind answered, and Goku rose his head and looked up at the tall namek.

"Uh... I don't think you want to see... I wish I never had." But before he knew how, Goku was standing up and folded his bloodstained arm around Piccolo's midsection, the enormous strength kept the namek from being able to move. Goku's other hand was softly touching Piccolo's forehead, and the tall jade man could feel his mind being searched by the powerful saiya-jin.

Goku soon found what he was looking for and he witnessed the death of his son through the eyes of his once nemesis. And so did the tall and proud namek... he had to see the death of his heart again.

A little later...

Shocked Goku let the namek go. His eyes wide with horror of the manner in which his son had died.

Goku felt shame as he looked at the namek before him, he had blamed him of his son's death this whole time. He had blamed Piccolo for not being able to protect his son from harm, letting him die.

"I'm... I can't… I'm so sorry Piccolo... you had to watch that. I should have been there..." Goku's voice became weaker and he stared into the calm eyes of the tall namek. Piccolo smiled at Goku, the smile he had only ever used only for Gohan. This struck the saiya-jin of guard.

It was so sweet and loving.

This felt strange for the saiya-jin, it felt strange to see such kindness in the face he was used to being so cruel. He slowly stumbled backwards, and slipped on the snow-covered ground with a thud.

"Piccolo... wha..." Goku saw then saw the hurt behind that smile so he fell quiet.

"So... now you know... then leave me be. Go away!" the smile was gone and Piccolo's eyes burned with fury. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" he spat it out at Goku, his head started to hurt and his heart aced. He had been made to watch it all again.

To see his death...

To see Gohan die...

Without another word the namek raised his ki and blasted off, his hurt arm hanging lifeless at his side. Goku only watched as the tall namek disappeared in the now extremely heavy snow-fall. Then he put his hand to his forehead and teleported away from there, he had claimed too much...

*****

Two days went by and the snowfall turned into a blizzard.

In the middle of the storm a tall figure stumbled with his left arm raised to shield his eyes from the icy needles of snow.

His right arm dangled at his side. He hadn't care to regenerate a new one, he couldn't get why though. If he was attacked he would be unable to fight properly, but it didn't matter anymore.

His reason for life was gone.

Gone forever.

Cold. Cold slammed against him with a stinging sensation. A sleepiness crept over him as he suddenly sank to his knees of fatigue. He hadn't rested or had any kind of liquid since Gohan died and that was four days ago now... Four days of mourning. Four days of constant self blame and self hate... Four days of over and over again feeling that horrible sensation of emptiness he had forgotten.

This was nice. He thought to himself as he laid down in the deep snow. It covered his acing head with blissful coolness, so nice.

The snow slowly covered up his legs and his arms that rested on his chest. Soon the whole namek was covered in the white cold.

His thoughts drifted awhile until they were snapped back to reality by the sound of a familiar voice drifting into his sensitive ears. He slowly rose and looked around him, he didn't see anyone... it must have been a trick his mind played on him.

As he sought for the source his sharp eyes caught a glimpse of something greenish sticking out of the snow beneath his feet. He knelt down and looked closer slowly reaching out, touching it. The touch made some more snow fall off and reveal a very familiar face.

Shocked out of his, at the moment, very weak wits, he stared down in disbelief at his own still face. The hurt in it's features was still there even in death. And yes, he knew that he was dead now, because by his side a small figure buried a small but strong hand in his bigger one. He didn't have to look down to recognise the familiar ki signal.

"Gohan..." he whispered and dried away the tears running down his emerald skin, then he looked down at the boy who only smiled up at him with a loving smile. The great feeling of happiness that filled Piccolo's now free soul made him unable to care about being dead.

Unable to keep his usual cool calm he knelt down and embraced his little love. His tears streaming freely now.

"Gohan... my Gohan!" the boy only smiled and wrapped his arms around his mentor's broad neck. Laughing light-heartedly as he brushed away the tears from the green mans cheek.

"Yeah sensei, now we can be together forever. Dai suki Piccolo-san." Gohan said and started to wrestle his way out of his sensei's grasp. When he was finally loose he made Piccolo to stand again and then took his hand, and the two of them walked away leaving the world behind.

*****

The snow had stopped falling and the sun shone down on the shimmering white earth.

Goku was eating half-heartedly the dinner his wife had made for him. The two of them hadn't spoken much to each other ever since Piccolo had come with the horrible news a week ago. He couldn't even enjoy ChiChi's wonderful cooking anymore, so he sighed and kept on eating. Then suddenly his sensitive senses picked up a ki landing on his front yard.

"Who could that be? Hm, Dende." He rose from his seat and went to the door just as the young guardian timidly knocked on it. Goku opened it and startled Dende, who stared at the saiya-jin with wide eyes.

When the namek didn't say anything Goku murmured a soft "Sorry..." The young namek composed himself from the shock and cleared his throat, then he whispered with a shaking voice:

"He... he's dead..."

"Dende, what do you mean? Who is dead?" Goku watched as Dende slowly lifted his hand that he had been keeping behind his back while the other had been holding the staff that belonged to the Guardians of earth. In it he held a white turban.

"Piccolo!" Goku burst out as he stared in disbelief at the white bundle of cloth. ChiChi who had heard the outburst of her husband came up behind him and looked out over his shoulder. Her eyes lingered on the young namek then turned to the turban.

"That belong to Piccolo, keep it away from here, you hear! I wouldn't want him coming here." She said and turned to walk away but the soft voice of Dende stopped her dead.

"He froze to death." The statement, cool almost cruel. "He had fallen asleep in the snow... he had been blaming himself for four days for the death of your son, ChiChi. He hadn't had any rest or nutrition for all that time, so his body failed him. He died in his sleep." Dende looked at ChiChi, her eyes was ablaze with fury over the blame in Dende's voice.

"He's a monster!! He took away my son and got him killed!! A MONSTER!!" At that Goku turned and slapped his wife over her cheek. His eyes filled with tears and hate shone in them.

"Piccolo could do nothing! It wasn't his fault! Damn it woman, our son was a fighter and death had been a part of his life since he was four and if it wasn't for Piccolo he'd been dead long before that, along with this world! Our son knew what dangers that laid ahead and he faced them like a proud warrior." Goku clenched his hands into fists and turned away from his wife.

ChiChi rested a hand on her cheek, she knew that it hadn't been intended to be so hard but her husband was to strong to notice. She had listened to every word he spat at her, she knew he was right, ever since that... that monster had taken her son away she knew she would never be able to put Gohan's warrior-sprit to rest. That she knew, because he had awakened it and had kept it awake ever since. She hated the very thought of her little baby under the influence of that green man, of that monster. But then again... Piccolo had changed... she knew that, but it wasn't enough for her, she wanted him dead and her son back.

Slowly she rubbed the sore spot and spat out her thoughts.

"He was a monster!" She knew that statement would anger her husband so she quickly followed up her sentence. "And he will never change in my eyes, but..." At this she turned and faced her Goku and the little namek, "... But I'm sorry, and thankful."

END.

Well so what do you think... It took a totally different turn from what was intended... Like where the h**l did Goku come from and why the h**l did Piccolo die and why did I decide to keep writing after his death???? Oh headache! *Slams her head unto the keyboard* Ouch, that hurt! *Rubs her head* Well anyway I hope you liked it... I can say that I think I've got a problem on getting Piccolo to be that cold person he is in the manga... he was a bit too emotional in this story if ya ask me... *sighs* The timeline is somewhere were Cell actually are roaming the world but I haven't seen those episodes yet so screw those and *poof* I made an other timeline of the DBZ world... Anyway leave reviews oki doki ^_^.