Pairings: Kyman, Stenny, Creek, Bendy (if I ever get to it I'll put in a lot more in the future..)

Warnings: Uh, like srsly.. Why even read this? It's gonna be pretty intense, but I'll keep it hygienic at least.

Summary: The big bearded guy grinned at him, obviously seeing through his charade. "Your mom was just telling me about 'Coon and friends', the game you invented when you were younger, and I found it amazing how similar they are to the signs of superheroes in this town. Almost.. Like 20th century boys, isn't it?"

Cartman flinched at that reference, but his reaction only provoked a wider grin.

"You know? When those boys write a comic about the future of the world and one boy acts it out to turn it into an actual prophecy?"

He turned to them fully, holding onto the door frame, it was taking all of his energy to keep up the facade and stop his nails from slicing through the woodwork.

One slip, just one slip..

And he would expose them all.

~•º*Coon and Friends REBORN*º•~

ovovovvoovovovvovovo

"So, taking the common denominator into account, you'll see that.." called to the class, ignoring the fact that it was the last lesson of the week and everyone was high on the suspense of waiting for the day to end.

He ran a hand through his greying and sparse hair as he looked over to the class, trying to pick out someone who was misbehaving enough to have to answer the question, before his eyes snapped to the thick set, brunette boy down at the back who was busy exchanging notes with his friend in a bright orange parka, was certain he had already told the parka boy.. Kenny.. To remove his hood more than four times already that day, but just shrugged it off.

"Eric Cartman, quit sharing love letters with your boyfriend!" He shouted.

The brunette stood up sharply, turning bright red as the auburn, curly haired boy beside him burst into fits of giggles. "AY! I wasn't..!"

But just as he said that he threw a small piece of scrunched up paper over to Kenny.

"Get your ass right up here, young man!"

Groaning, he shuffled himself to the front, glaring at the teacher through his sharp hazel eyes with all that his little black heart would allow, which turned out to be enough to make recoil and move himself far out of his way.

Unfortunately, he didn't notice the note bounce from Kenny's desk into the curly haired boy's bag.

He sighed dramatically, raising his eyes to the heavens in an act to the class, then he took the chalk from the shaking teacher's palm and scrawled across the board.

'No fucking clue'

"Detention."

"What? Come on~!" He protested angrily, frowning. "That's bullshit!"

"After school. Hope you have fun spending the beginning of your weekend inside instead of out with your boyfriend.."

"He's not my boyfriend!"

smirked as the class burst into laughter at their banter, the curly haired ginger boy laughing the hardest and longest.

"That's enough, Kyle." called out fondly to his star student, his tone barely warning.

"Sorry, sir."

"Kiss-ass jew.."

"Eric!"

"What?"

Kyle was fighting to keep a straight face, and Eric wasn't missing it, his whole pale and delicate featured face was scrunched up in his suppressed giggles and he had turned a bright rose pink from the effort.

He grimaced.

"So, Eric? Can you answer me properly this time without the silliness?"

He glanced over to Stan, no luck there.. He was too busy trying to scoot away from Kenny who kept making eyes at him..

Kenny, well, that was self explanatory..

"Eric?"

He hesitated.

"Eric?"

"Sir, it's nine."

's eyes left Eric's to look over to the jew, who was half standing to answer the question. "Yes, yes it is.." He all but sighed.

Kyle was more flushed than ever, and he looked really determined as he stood, yet somehow bewildered; as though he wasn't sure why he had stood and said it himself. "Sorry, sir.." He still held some smugness as he looked at Eric though, ever determined to one up the other boy.

The brunette's eyes sharpened, and he pursed his lips in stubborn anger. "Can I sit down now?" He asked harshly, addressing the teacher, but looking instead at the redhead's bright emerald eyes as if in challenge.

"Y-yes.. But, remember, detention after class, remember."

He pulled his gaze away from the glassy green irises. "Asshole.." He muttered under his breath as he made his way back to his chair, barely loud enough to be heard by , but loud enough so that Tweek and Craig could hear it as he shuffled by their closely spaced tables.

When he got to his table, he kicked his chair out for himself with a harsh shove of his foot and slammed himself down, returning his gaze back to Kyle to glare vehemently at him.

He ignored Kenny's slight wave of encouragement, his target too focused on the jew and all the pain and illnesses he could wish on him..

But his glare was short lived when he felt an oncoming note fly towards him and somehow, in his adrenaline and anger, he managed to catch it by senses alone. Unfurling it, he was surprised to see what was written.

'Soo? I told you! dickwad!'

Cartman looked back at the blonde quizzically, just as another paper note landed on his desk.

'What the hell, man?'

He watched for , making sure that the asshole wouldn't catch him, before tearing out a piece of paper from the last page of his math book and scrawling on it.

'What the hell are you on? I told you already-'

Just as he was about to finish it his pen somehow mysteriously ran out of ink, he tried scribbling a load of circles and swirls. But nothing seemed to help and it being his last chewed up borrowed biro of the week he was left to just shrug and throw the unfinished note over Kyle's head and to the parka boy.

Kenny's hand slammed it on the desk, and he smiled innocently as the teacher looked back at him. "Fly."

Then, unravelled the paper slowly, as though it were some kind of great treasure, but in seeing what was written just turned back to Cartman and glared.

Half way through some sneaky hidden earphone music of 'I love you more' by Eminem, he felt something hard hit the side of his head.

"Damn.."

He looked down on the floor and saw a very large piece of notepaper lying there, as innocently as if it had been there all along, but just as he made to grab it Kyle's foot covered it and slid back.

"Oh no you don't, sneaky jew..!" He hissed under his breath, snaking his foot over to dislodge it from the redhead.

In a violent game of footsie, where a lot of bones were sure to have been broken by the sharp kicks and stamps, the brunette had somehow won and was sliding his prize back under his desk. "Hehehe~" He laughed, picking it up and unfurling it.

There was a rubber inside..

Hmm..

And then..

'JERK.'

Cartman could feel himself boiling up with a deep pent up rage for the blonde, but he tried to exhale and calm himself as turned his beady eyes onto his fleetingly.

He heard Kyle giggle at his reaction to the note and felt like karate chopping his desk in half.

Something he could do if he wanted to.. Totally.. Yeah, of course he could..

The lesson came and went with more of Kenny's angry notes and furious pouts, but he wouldn't let up, something like what he had written was one of those one off things that he would only do once and never again.. A mistake, something that he did out of a turn of character, yet he didn't regret writing it..

Not at all, though he was wondering where it had gotten to in the lesson..

Meh, probably nowhere, Kenny probably had it and was trying to get him to reaffirm it..

Kenny's stares as he hung from Stan's arm and exited the classroom made him feel somewhat glad that he had the detention so that he could escape all of the crazy questions and pestering he would have had on the walk home with them.

But, Kyle's limping out of the classroom had made him smile at least..

He felt slightly guilty, but squashed it immediately, the jew had known what he had gotten himself into when he had stood against him..!

As put down the papers for his detention he stared outside at the falling snow, seeing the rest of the class exit over the fields, and daydreamed about nothing as he scored out scribbles and doodles in an attempt to get his pen working again.

Suddenly, he saw the glaring brightness of Kyle's orange coat and green hat walking with Stan and Kenny came into view and his grip on the pen became tighter, just as it became to scrawl out bright blue ink patterns.

That.. Jew nose.. ARGH!

He tried to write out his name on his paper, then looked down at it only to see Kyle's staring back at him.

"Dammit!" He cursed, balling up the paper and hurling it out of the window angrily, his breathing heavy.

quirked a brow. "Eric..? Are you feeling alright?"

He shook his head, he didn't feel alright, he felt awful.. His throat was all constricted and his brain was throbbing inside of his head.. And it was too damn hot..

The snow contradicted that notion instantly, but it was true, he had never felt so confused and unbearably hot..

He rested his head on the table, then started banging it against it while making 'ow' noises.

"Eric..?"

He lifted his head, frowning. "What?"

"Do you want to see the nurse?"

He put his head back down again. "I don't know what I want.." He tried to calm his nerves, for some reason they felt all haywire.. Tensed up and making his stomach feel fluttery, and he felt strangely wary.. Of something..

"Eric?"

"Goddammit! Stop saying my name!" He pressed a hand to his head, checking to see if he was feverish, but there was nothing.

"Eric, just go, okay? It was just a warning.." was backing to the storage cupboard.

"ARGH!" The brunette swung his bag over his back, leaving everything else there on the table, and went to the window.

"Eric, no!"

He leapt from the window, it being the third floor, and landed in a crouch below easily, as though he had only skipped two steps on the staircase.

The snow had blown around him forming little mounds, and the whole school had begun whispering, not even moving to walk home anymore.

"Was that, Cartman..?"

"Did he just?"

"He did!"

Eric paused there, frozen by what he had just done and the stares and manic chatter that had erupted.

It took every fibre and muscle in his body to finally move himself, pulling his hat further down over his head and tugging his collar up as he tried to hurry away from the crowds.

"Really?"

"No, it can't have been.. It's Eric Cartman for Pete's sake!"

He was running then, faster than he had ever ran in his life, but he felt himself jerked back just as he reached the gate by a familiar grip.

"Where're you going, fatass?"

He tried to control his rapid breaths as he looked back at the confused bright eyes of the ever annoying redheaded jew and his nosey jew nose. "Home."

"That fast? What? Did a cheesy poof factory crash into your house or something?" He laughed.

Cartman didn't know how he was being sucked into the game but he wanted out, and fast.. He had to get out.. "Yeah, sure.. That's what happened!" He babbled.

Both Kenny and Stan were staring at him incredulously, unbelieving he hadn't answered back with some smart comment.

"Can I go now?"

The redhead, who's hair had been tucked away with all but a few bangs slipping from the green hat he was wearing, looked at him wide eyed, and he released his grip slowly, though as soon as he did Cartman had already cleared his vision.

"Dude, was he serious?" Stan asked him, shrugging out of Kenny's hand on his shoulder.

"I.. I don't know.." He began, shaken by Cartman's eagerness to run away and lack of a snappy retort. "I don't know.. Kenny?"

The tuft of blonde hair swept from side to side with the shaking motion of his head, and the two little blue eyes seemed to narrow.

"Dude, that was weird."

"Yeah, but it's Cartman, what can you do?" Kyle laughed, but it was halfhearted.

ovovovovovovovovo

Lying on his bed, Kyle stared at the array of textbooks and sheets of crumpled, disorganised papers, where an extremely smudged and blotted ripped piece of a math's book was glaring up at him defiantly, demanding his attention. He slipped his fingers through his red curls as he read the words that were written so clumsily over the squared paper, total disbelief playing through his features as he tried to make sense of what the seven words said.

'Yes, okay. I like Kyle, so what?'

He thought he had known the handwriting instantly, but his mind was beginning to play tricks on him now and the words were morphing.. They were becoming so warped that they became something else entirely, chinese..

Hieroglyphic even.

He tapped his textbook, maths again, and in a moment of denial pushed it over the paper so that the huge book squashed it into the compress of his bed.

Out of sight..

But not out of mind..

Rolling over onto his back, he stared up at the ceiling, at the swirls of paint patterned into it and the ugly beige paper lantern lampshade that the had kept out of habit over the sat few years. He sighed heavily, his head aching with the coming waves of the chronic and painful headache he knew he was going to have from it all and pressed his hands to his cheeks. The burn still hadn't died, the heat of his blush had been running for two hours without breaks.

But why?

He thought about his first suspicions of the note and felt his cheeks suddenly flare up hotter..

No.. Not him.. It couldn't be.

Seriously, anyone but him..

A low buzz started up and he heard his phone call to him; "I'm looking at you through the glass~"

He sighed again, breathing in and out quickly to get enough breath to speak before he picked up his cell. "Yellow?"

"Sup, bitch?"

Kyle's throat dried up as he heard Cartman's deep and silky, yet offensively toned voice on the other end and he sat up, bolt upright and cross legged.

Unfortunately though, that voice didn't stop. "Hello..? Any jews there? Any fucking..?"

"Shut up, fatass." He coughed, half choking from the way that his breath had caught him so suddenly.

"Woah, chill out, I don't want your damn jew germs.."

Kyle sharpened his bottle green eyes, though he couldn't stop the way his chest was convulsing with the little hacks. "How can you get germs through a phone, dumbass?" He smirked, the coughs stopping.

He heard Cartman laugh; a low, hum of a sound.. So sensual and..

Trying to snap himself out of it, he bit down on his lip. "So? What'd you call for? What was wrong with you today?" He asked, a little harshly.

He sensed the brunette's hesitance in the silence that followed. "Uh, nothing.." He mumbled.

"Really? You never call me, I even deleted your number from my phone.." The last part had been a lie, Cartman's number was even on the first speed-dial.

Cartman made a sound of angry disapproval. "Well, fuck you then."

"What? Fuck you!" Kyle shouted back.

"Fucking, jew.."

"Fucking, fatass.."

There was an awkward silence where they were both breathing heavily down the phone, just waiting for either one to say something more so that it would start up again. But neither did.

"Screw you, I'm hanging up.." Cartman's threat hung still for a while, waiting for some kind of goodbye, but when none came he just sighed and hung up. Leaving Kyle to glare angrily at the phone and then hurl it at his pillows where it settled comfortably into the downiness.

"That fucking bastard!" He hissed. "What the fuck is he playing at?" He sat in that cross-legged position for a little while after he had thrown the cell, so suspended in that angry animation that he had completely forgotten the note.. Until he saw it poking out from the math's book..

With new found determination in his adrenaline he picked it up, ready to read it properly without all the messing around.

Yes.

It was what he thought.

'Yes, okay. I like Kyle, so what?'

'Yes, okay. I like Kyle, so what?'

'Yes, okay. I like Kyle, so what?'

He read aloud, his teeth clenching each time he said the word 'like'.

He kept re-reading it, but it stick in that same scribbly scrawl and he was unable then to turn it into anything but his handwriting at that point.

"Okay, so he writes a fucking note telling someone he loves me, then doesn't even have the balls to say so himself?" He ground out.

He put it down , calmly and blankly, then stood up and walked to his bathroom, ignoring Ike's loud metal music blasting from out of the door as he passed. Then, shut and locked the door, scrutinising himself in the full-length bathroom mirror.

No, he hadn't changed any from the millions of other times he had looked at himself, like he had expected himself to have. He was still as gawky and lanky looking as he remembered.. His face was still the same shape.. Same catlike emerald eyes staring back at him (though they looked decidedly weary at that point), and his nose was still as big as ever.. Well, not as big as the fatass liked to go on.. But the shape..

He shrugged, looking at his milky white skin and the stark blush that glared so brightly on his cheeks, and shook his head.

No, it didn't make sense.

It didn't.

"Tch," He pulled off his jumper, green cashmere and almost liquid in form as it slunk to the floor from his loosened grasp.

His mouth twisted into a wry smile despite that as he thought of the note.

ovovovovovovo

After staring at himself in the mirror for a good ten minutes, with intervals of freaking out and grabbing his hair in trying to rip out chunks of the auburn mess at the roots whenever he thought of the note, he heard.. And he couldn't believe how he did over the noise of Ike's room.. His phone ring again, "Don't know how much time has passed~"

He ran to it, unsure of how many rings had already passed before it, and picked it up with a quick flick of his wrist. "Yellow?" He said, a little pant sounding out after.

"You need to stop saying that, you sound like a fag."

He tensed up as Cartman's voice registered again.

"So.. K-Kahl.." He forced out, as though it were extremely difficult to call him anything other than an insult at that point.

"..Yeah..?" Kyle answered, albeit a bit tersely.

"What do you.. Uh.."

"Oh God.. He's not going to do this now, is he?" The redhead thought, turning crimson.

Cartman gulped, the words obviously much more difficult for him to say than just his name. "I know you don't like me, and whatever.. I don't give a shit really.. And you probably don't remember but.."

Already, Kyle's mind was whirring..

He was already thinking up his reaction to Cartman's confession.. It was sudden, but perfect.. He would say, 'I'm sorry that I constantly hurt you with the things I say and do.' and he would ditto that, and finally he could let out all the feelings for him he was bottling up..

"What do you remember about Coon and friends?"

Kyle visibly deflated. "Uh, what?"

"Coon and friends, what do you remember about it?"

"Coon..?" Kyle's emerald eyes widened drastically in surprise.

"No, freaking batman.. Who the fuck do you think? Of course it's the fucking Coon.."

Kyle was too surprised to come up with a good enough comeback against Cartman's sarcasm. "Uh.. Why?"

"Uh.. Why do you think?" He half mimicked the jew's voice, badly.

"I don't know, fatass."

He heard Cartman take a deep breath, obviously trying to hold back. "Okay, Kahl, I'm sorry." His attempt at regret was monotoned and not very convincing. "Now, if you please? I want to get this over with.."

Kyle didn't miss that his words seemed oddly ground out at the last sentence.

"Uh.. I remember that I was the Human Kite.. I could fly.. And Stan was Toolshed with his power drill.. And you were the Coon, you had all of the Coon powers and such, like those strange claw things.. Uh, why?"

He heard an exhale of what seemed to be relief. "Oh, good.. I mean, right." A small silence. "Have you, uh.. Felt anything different recently..? How about a tingling in your anus?" He seemed to add the last part as an attempt at a joke to lighten the mood, but it still stung.

"I'm not a fag!" He shouted, hearing a pan drop downstairs.

"Kahl, everyone and their mother knows you're a gay.."

"I'm not gay!" His protests didn't seem to make sense to him though, especially after his reaction to reading that note..

"Still in the closet, huh? That's just like a jew, hoarding their gayness.."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Nothing," And his voice seemed a lot brighter. "I'll see you tomorrow.." And with the click of a button and the flip of the cell he was gone.

Kyle sat there in angry contemplation. "You bastard.. I'm not spending my Saturday with you.."

ovovovovovov

Cartman sighed as he hung up the phone and stared at it's wallpaper of their crew's hands all making a gay ass star with their two fingers.

The snow was whirling all about him as he sat meditatively in the field, and his head was still burning up, while he could only think of two things, Kyle and eating a whole bunch of snacks..

That was what had spurred him on to ring the jew, he had needed to hear his voice for some reason.

Perhaps it had been because of how scared he was feeling with all of the complex and painful things going on in his head at that moment.

If he had not gone through it quite a few years ago, he would have sworn it to be what puberty felt like.. Or as how girls liked to harp on about it..

For him it was just a matter of his voice just changing one day from a whiny brat into some sultry voice that he couldn't stop himself from recording and replaying to himself over and over..

Oh, and the puppy fat had shaded a bit too..

Not wholly though, but he liked to think of all that extra flab and curviness as muscly manliness..

What the hell was he on about now..

He closed the phone and slipped it into his pocket, falling back to lie in the snow contentedly as the frosty air lingered about him and blushed the skin it brushed. Then, he slipped his earphones back out and in to drift off to sleep in the torrid and evil conditions.