Bonjour. Enjoy. Shall ramble at the end.

"Please scan your first item."

"…I just did!"

"Please scan your first item."

"I have!"

"Please scan your first item."

"Right, listen to me, you bloody machine-"

"Please scan your first item."

"Arghh!"

"…I thought he was meant to be the one who was good with technology?" Becker muttered to Abby, from the safe distance they were stood away from Connor, who was repeatedly trying to scan a bag of carrots through the self-service checkout at ASDA.

"Now, let's try this again…"

"Please place the item in the bagging area."

"Yes!"

"He is good with technology!" Abby defended.

"Unknown item in bagging area."

"What? No!"

"Technology is not always good with him…" Abby concluded when Becker raised his eyebrows.

Jess appeared next to them, clutching a basket weighed down with enough food to fill up their fridge for the next week. She shifted from foot to foot to try and hold it up, until Becker lifted it out of her arms with an amused smile, easily taking the weight with one hand.

"Thanks," Jess beamed at him, and Abby held in her smirk. "What's taking Connor so long?"

"Please remove unknown item from bagging area."

"Never mind, I think I've got it." Jess cut off Abby before she had chance to explain, tilting her head sympathetically as Connor struggled with the machine. "Poor guy…"

Becker rolled his eyes.

"Item has been taken out of bagging area."

"Wha… You told me to take it out! What is wrong with you?"

"Please wait for assistance."

"I don't want any assistance!"

"Please wait for assistance."

"Okay, that is it!" Connor whirled round and spotted his friends. "Jess! Distract that worker guy for me?"

Jess blinked. "Excuse me?"

Connor huffed, digging in his pockets, looking for something. "Distract that guy who works here before he comes over to 'assist' me."

"Erm… Why?"

"I'll explain in a minute, just do it? Please, please, please?" Connor looked up from his pockets to send her a puppy dog look.

Jess sighed. "How am I supposed to distract him?"

"Jess, you're a cute girl in a short skirt, I'm sure you'll manage."

"Connor!"

"What?"

"Why can't Abby do it?"

"Because she's my girlfriend, that would be weird."

Jess paused as she thought of an argument. Becker intervened.

"What are you going to do that needs a distraction? Because I have about fifty different ways…"

Abby snorted. "Big blue eyes and a dazzling smile tends to work best in these situations."

Becker glared at her.

"Seriously though, Con, what're you doing?" Abby looked back at Connor, who triumphantly drew a screwdriver from him pocket.

Becker stared at him a moment, then sighed, leaning against the checkout next to Connor's. "I don't even want to know any more."

Connor had a glint in his eye as he gestured for Abby and Jess to come closer. "If I can get the back off this thing, maybe I rewire-"

"No."

"But Abby-"

"No."

"Abby, I-"

"No."

"Why?"

"We don't break government property." Abby paused. "We don't break government property on purpose." She corrected herself.

"ASDA doesn't belong to the government!"

"Everything belongs to the government."

Jess sighed and hoisted herself to sit next to Becker.

"Unexpected item in bagging area."

"Oops!" She jumped as the voice droned from behind her and hopped off the scale. Becker snorted and she shot him a glare.

"How long do these domestics normally last?"

"Shortest was about ten minutes…"

"Oh, great."

"…Longest was four days."

"Connor- Connor, don't you dare! Connor, put the cover back on and get out from under there! Connor, I mean it! If you do this, so help me, Connor, I'll- Connor, the screen has gone blue, you're not helping, will you get out before someone- Connor! What're you doing now? Connor!"

Becker rolled his eyes. "You want to go to the café?"

Jess grinned. "I'd love to."

Becker smiled back, sticking Jess' basket from earlier next to Connor's forgotten carrots.

Then all the lights turned off.

"…CONNOR!"

So, this is so random, I don't know where to start. I loathe self-service-checkout-things with a passion, they make me want to scream. I actually yelled 'WE HAVE INSERTED INTO YOU!" at one in ASDA once because it refused to believe we'd put the money in and was going 'please insert your money. Please insert your money. Please insert your money." Not impressed. So, my mother and I were in Good Ol' Morrybobs and the machine would just not work with us. And then this sprung into my head. And now… Well, yeah.