Well, uh, this is awkward. By now you surely don't remember the story and I have my reasons for such a late update. A few too personal to share but to sum it all up: Life is my excuse. If you really don't remember the story it's best to just start from Chapter 9 like I did. (: It's enough to keep up. Hope your even still with me and sorry it this chapter seems rushed... because it was and I promise the next it better. I've been actually paying attention in reading... :D So enjoy.

Roxas gripped the back of Axel's plaid shirt tightly as Axel pressed him back against the mattress, kissing him long and hard. Roxas took in a deep breath of air once Axel stopped kissing him and gasped when he felt Axel slide his knee in between his legs, he closed his eyes and tried to tell himself that it was all okay but he knew he wouldn't be able to get far, the memories were too haunting for him and not to mention his fear of the pain.

"It's not too late to turn back; I can see you're not ready." Axel said, slowly moving himself off the teen. Roxas gripped his shirt tighter and shook his head. "What?" Roxas just shook his head again, he opened his eyes and looked up at Axel; his eyes were red and slightly teary. "Roxas, use your words."

"K-keep going." Roxas whispered, his body shook somewhat as he spoke and Axel shook his head. It was so obvious, with one look; anyone could tell he was clearly not ready.

"I'm not going to do that to you, I can wait for you a little longer if necessary." Axel tried to move again and Roxas pulled him back close to him, chest to chest, and he could feel the younger's heartbeat underneath him: fast and frantic.

"I'm ready now, I-I can do this." Roxas lifted himself to Axel's lips; he closed his eyes and kissed him. Axel stared down at him, not kissing back. "I can do it, if you want this, I can." Axel pressed his knee harder in-between Roxas's legs and Roxas gasped, clutching Axel tighter and bit his lip as he held back a moan, his fear growing slightly.

"So you're positive?" Axel leaned down, licked the curve of Roxas's ear, and then bit it lightly. He sent chills up and down the blonde's body, Roxas nodded nonetheless. "You won't stop me once we start?" Axel lowered his hand down to Roxas' pant zipper, he pulled it down gradually, and he saw Roxas hesitate before he nodded again. "And you won't regret anything after all this?" Axel finished undoing the zipper and button and was now pulling down the blonde's boxers, his hand grazing Roxas' need slightly. Roxas's breath hitched and he closed his eyes tightly, tears fell from behind the closed eyelids. Axel pulled his hand away and freed himself from his lover's grip; Roxas hastily sat up and opened his eyes. His lips crashed into Axel's, they both gazed at each other during the kiss; wet blue eyes stared into lust filled-green ones and they stared right back, the kiss seemed to last forever.

"I can't, I'm sorry." Roxas said once they finally broke apart, he was whimpering when he spoke now and Axel held him to his chest. "I thought I could, if it was you, but I guess I was wrong."

"I told you, I can wait. I'm sorry I pushed you into it, I just had to make sure you were certain." It was silent, besides the soft sniffles that came from Roxas. "Roxas, I also did this for another reason." Roxas moved himself from Axel's chest and looked up at him.

"Another reason?"

"Well, today someone offered me a big job opportunity."

"That's great!"

"I'd have to leave here though."

"Leave… here?" Axel nodded, Roxas looked at him for a moment, as if trying to fit all the pieces together and wondering what to ask next but it felt like a puzzle he couldn't solve even if it was the last piece he was holding, he didn't know where to place it. "What job was it?" Puzzle solved.

"Record deal." Roxas's jaw almost dropped, Axel might become famous and he had no idea what to say.

"Record deal?"

"Yeah, I play at my jobs; hence, why I always take my guitar with me. I perform for people and a man asked me if I wanted a record deal today. I wasn't going to just say no, but when I move I wanted to make sure you would be ready to go with me… from what you did, I can tell you want to be with me. So, you up for it?" Roxas moved his mouth but he didn't speak the words, he didn't know how to answer; he didn't want to leave yet, he wanted to help Sora and Seifer. Sora… he couldn't possibly leave Sora yet, not after everything.

"When would you be moving?" Axel shrugged.

"The guy said it was a sure deal, so maybe next month at the latest." Roxas shook his head.

"I can't move that soon, Sora needs me here. You know what he went through." Axel sighed, his head slightly drooping in defeat.

"I knew you would say no to the fact it was too soon, I just thought I'd give it a shot but when it's all said and done, I'm coming back for you." Roxas smiled at that, he would love to run away with Axel and live with him but right now just wasn't the time for that, he still had to figure out what he was going to do about his old home… he couldn't focus on a new one.

"When would you start recording?" Roxas asked, still curious on the thought of Axel becoming famous.

"Possibly next week, it all depends."

"Are you going to keep going to work too?" Axel nodded.

"Just in case it doesn't work out, I'll keep working where I am." Roxas glanced over at the clock, curious to the time, and noted it was almost one in the morning.

"Then you should get to bed, you have to work tomorrow." Axel sighed and bent forward towards Roxas, resting his forehead on his partner's.

"I don't want to, I miss seeing you; five more minutes." Roxas grinned.

"I'm not your mom, I was just suggesting… and I miss seeing you too." Axel pushed him back to lay down with his arm gently. Roxas looked over at Axel who was staring intensely at him, his arm holding him down from moving. "Axel?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." Roxas could tell Axel was about to fall asleep though, he was already lying down and as he spoke his words were barely murmurs. Roxas kissed his forehead and continued to lie down next to him as Axel's warm breath was on his cheek. A few more seconds and Axel was gone, Roxas couldn't bring himself to sleep as easily though, his mind still running on how Axel touched him – the places he touched felt relieved of all stress.

"Why am I such a coward?" Roxas whispered to himself, looking up at the darkened ceiling. "I know Axel wouldn't hurt me, so why couldn't I just do it?" Roxas pulled the covers over his whole body, except his head. "Next time, I swear I'll do it." His mind ran for a while longer before he drifted off into a coma like state.

Roxas awoke the next morning to find Axel had departed as usual and the rest of the house quiet. He got up reluctantly and went outside to use the bathroom, when finished he quietly went to the kitchen to make a simple bowl of cereal, not up to actually making something.

"Morning Roxas." Roxas jumped at the sound of Sora's soft voice, he apparently had just woken up and was standing behind him looking half asleep, there were bags under his eyes. Roxas knew it must have been hard to sleep anymore, not only from his conscious thoughts but from his subconscious; Sora probably felt restless.

"Good morning Sora." Roxas finished putting milk on his cereal and took a seat at the bar, trying not to stare at Sora who was looking for something to eat. Roxas enjoyed the quiet morning atmosphere which was usually ruined by Seifer upsetting Sora with his quest to steal his heart. Even though Roxas was supposed to help Seifer, he sometimes felt it was a hopeless case.

"Oh, I'll make that." Roxas saw Sora had finally found a box of pancake mix and went to work on his own breakfast. Roxas wondered how Sora was able to even cope with Seifer most of the time, if Axel ever passed unexpectedly and someone tried to win his heart he would definitely distance himself from them not wanting to feel guilty or too confused. He watched Sora mix the batter for his breakfast and pondered on how Sora was really taking everything in, Roxas's thoughts were of course disturbed by Seifer bursting out of his room and grabbing him by the collar.

"Ow! What the heck? Let go!" Roxas looked at Seifer who looked like he just fell out of bed and rushed out his room, he was still wearing a white undershirt and a pair of black boxers; he was pulling Roxas into his room and then closed the door behind him. Roxas had never been inside Seifer's room before and was surprised by its appearance, it was cleaner than Axel's and looked like the room of a businessman. The walls looked pure white and all his furniture looked like it was dusted everyday, the only thing that seemed to be in there were a few dressers, a television, and his laptop that now occupied the bed instead of the space on a desk. "Seifer, have you gone mad?"

"I think so." Seifer began pacing his room, scratching his already mussed up hair and glaring at the walls. "I don't know what happened to it."

"Happened to what?"

"My charm… I can't feel it." Roxas had to restrain himself from walking out right then and there; he could tell Seifer was being completely serious about all this though from his tone. "How can I win Sora without charm?"

"Be yourself." Seifer stopped pacing and looked at Roxas.

"Myself? I want to win him over not make him run away." Seifer had a point, Roxas didn't like Seifer the moment he met him but now that he thought about it, Seifer never brought home a stranger since the day he moved in.

"Well, why am I here?" Roxas gestured to the room.

"Help me, tell me what to say and do."

"I can't do that, I don't have… charm." Seifer grabbed the sides of his nightstand, his knuckles paled as he did this.

"Roxas, I need something to make him mine before it's too late, I need to save him." Roxas felt the most sincerity he ever had from Seifer in that moment and knew something must have shaken him.

"Seifer… what's wrong?" Seifer let go of his nightstand and turned to Roxas, his eyes lost their mischievous flair which they usually always had and they looked anxious now.

"I had a dream, a dream of Sora dying. I was trying to save him, but every time I tried to help him he died… he just kept dying in front of me… in different ways, I felt like I was gonna be sick." Seifer's voice was low; it felt like he wasn't even talking to Roxas at all.

"Seifer, Sora isn't going to die. It was just a dream." Seifer shook his head.

"You don't understand… it happened before… Hayner." Seifer walked past Roxas and went out into the hallway, Roxas remembered what Seifer had told him of the boy named Hayner and how Seifer tried to make him feel better but in the end the boy had killed himself. Love?IsthatwhatSeiferthinkswillmakeSorafeelbetter?Roxas snapped back into reality when he heard a crash, he ran out of Seifer's room and saw Seifer and Sora staring at each other intently in the kitchen with broken plate pieces in between them.

"Don't say that – don't ever say those words to me again." Sora sounded angry or he was trying to at least, it fell short with the trembling in his voice.

"It's true though, I love…."

"SHUT UP!" Sora yelled, quickly covering his ears with his hands. Seifer grabbed his wrists and pulled hard to take them from Sora's ears. "Why do you keep doing this? I can't just fall in love with you!" Sora sounded hysteric; his voice wavered and tears were pouring from his eyes. "It's not that easy to get over someone you've loved so much for someone else, especially if they just passed away! I don't want to forget him… I don't want to just love someone else… I can't throw away what Riku and I had…." Sora's legs gave way and he fell to the floor, pulling Seifer with him since he still had a hold on his arms. "I still love him, if anything I love him more than I did before… and you're not making it any easier!" Sora snatched his arms from Seifer's grip. "You're always talking to me the way he used to, you're always…." Sora shook his head and got up, his stance shaky like he might fall over again.

"Sora, I just want to help." Seifer sounded more like himself, but still not fully recovered and he too got up from the ground. "I'm trying to save you." He pulled Sora into a kiss, holding him by the waist and pulling him closer to his body as Sora frantically tried to get away but they both knew Seifer was stronger, he still had Sora's hands in his free hand.

Roxas stood there not sure what he could possibly do, but knew that Seifer was just breaking Sora more. He watched as Seifer kissed Sora and Sora struggled to get out of his hold, he was sure it wouldn't end pretty once they broke apart. Roxas had to help Seifer find a new way to win Sora over because this – this wouldn't work. They finally broke apart and Sora stood there, panting from the struggle and loss of breath while he glared at Seifer who looked down at him. Sora finally caught his breath and slapped Seifer across the face, Roxas winced at the impact.

"If this is what you call saving someone, then please let me die." Sora said weakly and went past Roxas as if he wasn't there into the bathroom. Seifer stood there, his eyes slightly widened. Roxas walked over to him slowly, he looked up at him but didn't speak; he knew better.

"Die… I could never let him." Seifer whispered. "I could never face that again…." Seifer walked into his room, leaving Roxas standing there with nothing but a million thoughts swarming in his head. He didn't know what to act out next so he decided to just go to his room and think things over, hoping that for whatever strange reason Axel would come home early and hold him yet again.

A/N: Well, I hope that was enough for ya. Let me just say, one of my excuses... to be honest was Harry Potter obsession. I actually even started writing a story for it but I won't work on that til this is done. Thanks for staying with me if you did and constructive comments always helps me improve... just not too harsh cause I have a heart and all. (: