Castiel sighed at Gabriel from the other end of the couch, "I'm sorry." He picked up the remote and paused Zoolander, "I was under the impression you enjoyed this film."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at his cousin, "What? I love this movie." Though Gabriel honestly couldn't say what part they were at.

Seeing right through his bullshit, like he always did, Castiel's brow furrowed, "You seem troubled. Is it about Sam?"

Castiel always did pick the most annoying moments to remember he was human and get silly things like intuition.

"I think I might be sort of… falling for him." Gabriel pulled a pillow to his chest, feeling way too much like a chick flick.

Castiel tilted his head, looking genuinely confused, "I don't understand why this is a problem."

"It's a problem because he isn't interested in me."

The smile Gabriel received was totally taken out of his own handbook, "That's never been an issue for you before." Okay, Gabriel was going to have to stop teaching Cas all his tricks if he was just going to use them on him.

"I haven't exactly been in this situation before." Which might have been the understatement of Gabriel's life, because how often could anyone say they were in love with the guy they almost went pedobear on, now that he was legal?

"What about Kali?" Castiel approached that sensitive topic with all the subtlety of a demolition crew.

"Think twice Castiel." Gabriel warned.

"Ever since your relationship with her you have been," Castiel licked his lips, searching for the words he wanted to use, "An emotionally constipated ass. Sam makes you happy, Gabriel. I think you should express your feelings to him. After all, I've never known you as one for hesitation."

Gabriel chucked his pillow across the couch at Cas, "You suck when you're right."

"You're immature when you're wrong." Castiel smiled with his teeth this time.

"Speaking of super cute boys asking us to the spring formal," Gabriel raised his eyebrows, "How's your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend." Cas uncrossed his legs and reached for his Diet Coke.

"But you want one." Gabriel sing-songed, relishing in being able to tease Cas for the first time since high school. "You love him, you wanna hug him."

"I am not in love with Dean." Castiel said resolutely.

"I never said Dean." Gabriel figured he should stop jerking Cas around and actually help him out lest he die alone and almost a virgin. "Seriously though, have you even talked to him?"

"In a manner of speaking… No." Castiel's rested his elbows on his knees, staring blankly at Ben Stiller's static face, "I'm not very good at this." He looked at his cousin, "I like him, Gabriel, and I don't even know why. It's completely ridiculous."

"Welcome to earth, Mr. Spock." He leaned over and slung an arm around Castiel's shoulder, "Now can we please get back to the blue steel?"

Castiel didn't blink as he hit play, "I prefer magnum."

When he was in high school, Gabriel impaled the principal's car on the flag pole. The asshole made a pass at this poor sophomore girl and Gabriel had never been one to sit idly by. So, after weeks of planning, researching and calling in every favor he could (not to mention some less than honorable events in the boiler room) he had been as ready as he would ever be.

Running the risk of expulsion or dismemberment by a Lexus had been the most nerve wracking moment of his life.

This was about to tie for first.

He figured letting Sam know he wanted him daily, nightly, and ever so rightly couldn't be too bad, it always worked out fine in movies and shitty pop songs. He'd just make a move and let Sam take it from there.

So, of course it all went to shit.

Theoretically, loosening Sam up with booze after work on Saturday was the perfect start to making a move. Of course, Gabriel hadn't taken into account the possibility of Sam being an emotional drunk.

"─And he works so fuckin' hard man, and I don't even say thanks." Sam had been going on for the past twenty minutes about how he didn't deserve a brother like Dean. It would have been cute if Sam's giant ass head wasn't on Gabriel's shoulder, making his arm slowly go numb.

"All right Stretch," Gabriel eased from under Sam, and went to his pantry, "I'm not one for all this Dawson's Creek feelings shit, but I do know there are few problems that can't be fixed by cake." He figured health nut tendencies could abide a slice of carrot cake.

Apparently, giving someone cake after a case of Corona wasn't the best of plans, Gabriel discovered as Sam leaned over his toilet bowl, getting intimately acquainted with the plumbing. When he was finished, Gabriel laid the behemoth down on his bed, the couch being significantly less than Sam-sized. He pulled off Sam's sneakers, glancing at the tag on the tongue.

"Size 14, seriously? God is so testing me right now." Gabriel muttered at the shoe currently dwarfing his hand.

Sam grumbled out what sounded like an apology into Gabriel's pillows.

"Don't worry about it, Magilla." Gabriel hopped onto the bed and laid down next to Sam, "You're just lucky I like you." He ruffled Sam's mop of hair. "This is honestly not how I expected this evening to go, why's it always easier on TV?"

Sam rolled onto his side to face Gabriel, "what's easier?"

"Oh, you know, dashing, witty lead gets the tall, dorky and handsome love interest that can't pick up on five years' worth of hints." He winked, "Then there's the wedding episode."

"Shut up," Sam muttered and shifted forward and kissed him.

It was hot and awkward but also very Sam-like so it was decidedly amazing.

"Dude. Awesome." He blurted out when Sam finally detached himself from his mouth.

Sam gave a pleased grunt in agreement before he buried his nose in Gabriel's hair and pulling him closer.

Falling asleep in the arms of someone he actually cared about after such a long time was almost pleasant enough to make up for waking up alone afterward.

But not quite.

If Gabriel said this was the first Sunday he spent alone in bed with a bottle of Bailey's and a pan of brownies just because someone hurt his feelings, he'd be a damn liar. Then again, lying was always one of his better skills.

Despite all Gabriel's fantasizing towards the contrary, Monday came, but luckily with no sign of Sam.

"I don't understand what went wrong." Castiel muttered after Gabriel had informed him just how well his weekend went.

"You're tellin' me." Gabriel said as he slid a box cutter along the seam of a shipment of Junior Mints with perhaps more force than necessary.

"If he was uninterested in your advances, why would he kiss you?" Castiel frowned at the boxes of Sno-Caps he was meticulously lining up on the shelf.

"Fuck if I know, dude." Gabriel sighed, "Am I allowed to blame you for this?"

"Not if you want your taxes done for free."

"Well then you got any advice for me wise one?" Gabriel stood and crossed his arms.

"Talk to him, and if he is truly against a romantic relationship, attempt to salvage your friendship with him. Sam seems understanding; I doubt he would put both his job and his friendship in jeopardy over something like this."

"From the mouths of babes," Gabriel ruffled Castiel's already messy hair.

"I'm 22, I am no babe." Castiel said, doing his little voice of God thing, which at this point was only more endearing to Gabriel.

"Psh, you're a total babe Cassy. Least, that's what all the boys say." Gabriel nudged Castiel in the rib.

"I assume you're using colloquialisms again, so I'm going to ignore you." He gave Gabriel his back and continued shelving candy.

"Finally, he's learning."

Sam actually showed up Tuesday, but doesn't say a word to him, which was just fine in Gabriel's book. He didn't need some moody lumberjack and his epic gay panic or what the fuck ever was going on.

Seriously, Gabriel's lying was approaching an art form at this point.

"You need me to put out the new 360 controllers?" Sam finally spoke an hour before closing.

"Cas did that yesterday." Gabriel tried not to sound bitter but he'd been having quite a week.

"Uh, sorry about that." Sam still doesn't look at him.

"About what? Not showing up for work without even bothering to call in, or getting drunk at my apartment and then leaving in the morning without so much as a 'goodbye' or a 'fuck you asshole'?" Gabriel crossed his arms.

"Both?" Sam shrugged, "I've just been, I dunno… confused?" He finally looked at Gabriel with big pathetic doe eyes and that was it.

"Confused? Oh, no totally I get that. Like when you think you've finally gotten over your obvious crush on a guy, but then he comes back from college and strings you along all over again. Is that the kind of confused we're talking about?" Gabriel put a hand over his heart in mock sympathy. "Or maybe you mean, 'God, this guy's obviously in love with me and even though I've been flirting with him for months I don't know what to do because he has a dick and I'm still sad my girlfriend cheated on me because, gosh, no one's ever had to experience that before' confused. Pam was right; you're too young for me." Gabe walked into the back room toward his apartment.

Gabriel was hovering between relieved and miserable. It was the kind of mood whiplash that could only be cured by pie.

He was halfway through a frankly sub-par lemon meringue when Castiel walked in and sat next to him on the couch.

"Your door was unlocked."

"Clearly."

"I take it things did not go well." Castiel took Gabriel's fork and stole a bite of pie.

"I guess not. I may have… stormed out before he had a chance to respond." Gabriel admitted.

"He seemed rather disquieted when I arrived." Castiel nodded.

"Did you talk to Dean?" Gabriel asked, eager to change the subject.

Castiel took a forceful scoop of pie rather than answer.

"Yep, we're cursed."

"There is no such thing as curses." Castiel grumbled.

"No, no, trust me. A long, long time ago our ancestors pissed off the universe and now we are forced to be emotionally terrorized by the Winchesters." Gabriel handed over the pie tin, he didn't want it anymore.

"No such thing," Castiel repeated.

Gabriel wasn't convinced.