A fic for those that want something different on Valentine's Day.

Dedicated to everyone that knows the immeasurable feeling of losing a beloved.

Song used is 'Valentine's Day' from Linkin Park.

The world seems to be only in shades of grey. Everything looks so light but it feels so dense. Even the usually bright blue of the military uniform seem dull. Not one tear was shed but the faces were cold as stone. Many were expecting great things but the hopes ended so soon, more so for one individual.

My insides are turned to ash, so slow

And blew away as I collapsed, so cold

As the all too well known box is lowered, one individual felt so lost. The dreams seem to fade away as the earth is put back. The weather danced as if understanding the loss of this nation. The crowds fade and there stood that one individual. The thoughts raced as another stone flashes in her mind.

A black wind took them away, from sight

And now the darkness over day, that night

There, lying six feet under laid the most promising Roy Mustang. Their dreams, their goals, their lives were buried beneath with him. What is she suppose to do now? She had failed her country, she failed her friends, and she failed herself. Worse she failed him. He was her first friend, her superior, and her other half.

And the clouds above move closer

Looking so dissatisfied

It feels as if Lust stuck her sharp claws in her heart and squeezed it slowly. Few in blue knew the meaning of his death to her. He was there to brighten her day since young. Her secret, her life, her heart all belonged to him.

But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

As if clouds can feel what she needed, there and then on her face was more than rain. Part of her felt angry with herself. It was her job, her mission. The feeling of no air was all around.

I use to be my own protection, but not now

The barrier she learned to keep fell as the emotions take over. The perfect soldier was no more.

'Cause my path has lost direction, somehow

The movie that was supposed to have made clear of what went wrong played with broken missing scenes loops in her head.

A black wind took you away, from sight

And now the darkness over day, that night

He wasn't suppose to go. Not yet.

And the clouds above move closer, looking so dissatisfied

And the ground below grew colder

As they put you down inside

The dark casket slowly lowering beneath the ground flashes though her mind.

But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

So now you're gone, and I was wrong

There's nothing that can reverse what was done.

I never knew what it was like

She can still see his smirk played slowly to a smile as he stands on her door step holding the old familiar photo album.

To be alone on a Valentine's Day

It was on this day that he makes sure he has no dates.

On a Valentine's Day

It was on this day that he makes sure he finishes his work.

On a Valentine's Day

It was on this day that he will always be at her door step carrying that book with that smirk of his.

On a Valentine's Day

And it is on this day that he is put to rest where she can no longer reach him.

She kneeled down on the cold, wet ground and took a small pocket knife out of its holder.

(On a Valentine's Day)

I use to be my own protection

Her precious life blood seeps out from the incision, dripping and staining the ground. She guild the drops in the familiar shape that has haunted so many she dear to. Her fingers reached down and connect the dots as if was some sort of child's drawing.

(On a Valentine's Day)

But not now

Putting her hands together she pauses. Nothing rational works, not when you're like this. She channelling and willed her energy to her hands that lay on the drenched stained grass.

(On a Valentine's Day)

'Cause my mind has lost direction

Nothing. Nothing was what she figured she get yet nothing, wasn't the result she wanted. Who was she kidding? She's not an alchemist. She might have the theory memorized and the transmutation circle engraved in her brain but she didn't have the the power to do anything with it.

(On a Valentine's Day)

Somehow

An over whelming cry burst out through her. It rang loud as half a cry, half a laugh. It was just so ironic. Soon the sound mulled into a cry. The rain silenced sang with her as it washes her greed away. The blood transmutation circle slowly fading to erase the last of her sin.

(On a Valentine's Day)

I use to be my own protection

The colours black and blue stand out from the lush green field. Numb to the musky smell, the heavy moving clouds, the stale bitter tasting wind and the soft yet rock hard ground.

(On a Valentine's Day)

But not now

Life cheats and they weren't excluded in this equation.

(On a Valentine's Day)

'Cause my mind has lost direction

"I'll follow you to hell and back if you asked me to," she said once. He chuckled and smiled. "Good thing I won't ask you to."

"I have no desire to live a happy, carefree life all alone... My body will leave this world together with the corpse of the flame alchemist."

(On a Valentine's Day)

Somehow

Hell. It's ironic that's where she end up regardless of which choice she makes. Hell in life or hell in death? She pulled out trusty sidekick with her numb hands from the wet and cold. Slowly she loads a bullet in every other slot. This weapon saved many lives and yet also destroyed many lives. Now she wonders which side would it choose.

I went through a lot of different ways to approach this piece of writing. Since I have never written a songfic it was a bit difficult grasping what I saw and feel into the right words. I think it would have worked best if I was able to animate what I felt and saw into an AMV. It took a few tries and a lot of starting and listening to the song. I hope I was able paint a clear animation of how this would have turned out.

The song belongs to Linkin Park. FMA is given life by Arakawa Hiromu-san. I own absolutely nothing except for the concept.

Any questions, comments, flames and suggestions are welcomed.