Sorry, again, for how bad this update is. On the plus side...nine days until Christmas!
7: 13 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder Guys. PARTY. MIDNIGHT HOTEL. Tomorrow night I'm stopping in Dublin.
7: 13 pm Staven Weeper: can i bring cheese snacks?
7: 14 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: Piss off, you're not invited.
7: 15 pm Valkyrie Cain: Skulduggery and I can't :( We've got a tip-off about someone we're tailing so we'll be busy
7: 15 pm Valkyrie Cain: Have fun though!
7: 15 pm Valkyrie Cain: Well, as much fun as you can have without us
Skulduggery Pleasant likes this
7: 17 pm Leo DiCaprio: I can't come; working on my 12-step programme to an Oscar win. I'll be there for the next party though!
7: 22 pm Tanith Low: I was going to have a Brad Pitt movie marathon, but sure I can come
7: 23 pm Tanith Low: Can I claim a spare bedroom btw?
7: 24 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: Of course you can ;) #kinkinessofghanith
7: 24 pm Tanith Low: Don't you hashtag at me
7: 24 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: #toolate #ghanith #ghanithforeveritiswritteninmyheart #sex
7: 26 pm Tanith Low: You're a weirdo.
Erskine Ravel and Valkyrie Cain like this
Dexter Vex poked Tanith Low
Tanith Low poked Dexter Vex
Dexter Vex poked Tanith Low
Tanith Low poked Dexter Vex
Dexter Vex poked Tanith Low
Tanith Low poked Dexter Vex
Dexter Vex poked Tanith Low
Tanith Low poked Dexter Vex
8: 12 am Dexter Vex posted on Tanith Low's Wall
Oh my God, stop poking me!
Tanith Low likes this
9: 56 am PM message: Antceratops Paedo King Shudder to Erskine Ravel, Tanith Low, Ghastly Bespoke, Fletcher Renn and Dexter Vex
You're all coming tonight, right? You better not disappoint me because I'm having a fire-eater flown in from Uruguay especially for this.
9: 59 am PM message: Dexter Vex to Antceratops Paedo King Shudder, Erskine Ravel, Tanith Low, Ghastly Bespoke and Fletcher Renn
Woah, I didn't think our parties were that big an affair...
9: 03 am PM message: Antceratops Paedo King Shudder to Erskine Ravel, Tanith Low, Ghastly Bespoke, Fletcher Renn and Dexter Vex
I may have a few more people coming. Like 10. Or 80. It really doesn't matter.
9: 06 am PM message: Dexter Vex to Antceratops Paedo King Shudder, Erskine Ravel, Tanith Low, Ghastly Bespoke and Fletcher Renn
God, it's been a while since I've been to a proper party. It's a good thing you're throwing this. Poking wars are the most exciting thing going on right now.
9: 11 am PM message: Tanith Low to Antceratops Paedo King Shudder, Erskine Ravel, Ghastly Bespoke, Fletcher Renn and Dexter Vex
I thought our poking wars were thrilling, thanks very much
Dexter Vex named the conversation: Dexter and friends
Antceratops Paedo King Shudder named the conversation: Anton and his underlings
Tanith Low named the conversation: Why are we even friends?
Fletcher Renn named the conversation: Teleporters rule
Erskine Ravel named the conversation: Get Back To Your Work
Antceratops Paedo King Shudder named the conversation: Not what you'll be saying later tonight
Dexter Vex named the conversation: #swag
Ghastly Bespoke has left the conversation
2: 34 pm Erskine Ravel poop
Antceratops Paedo King Shudder, Tanith Low, Valkyrie Cain and fourteen others like this
2: 48 pm Erskine Ravel: So whoever was the incredibly MATURE and SENSIBLE person that spammed my account and posted this, don't do it again.
2: 49 pm Erskine Ravel: And when I say 'whoever' I really mean you, Antceratops Paedo King Shudder
2: 52 pm Ghastly Bespoke: Remember that time he got into your account and posted the status 'I'm uncomfortably attracted to my neighbour's dog'? Good times.
2: 55 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: It wasn't me who fraped you this time, I swear!
2: 57 pm Ghastly Bespoke: Then who was it? Not that it's any particular mystery, I'm just bored sitting at my desk playing Pac-Man on my computer whenever Madam Mist isn't breathing down my neck.
Erskine Ravel likes this
2: 59 pm Tanith Low: OK, I'll own up this time. I'M JUST SO BORED.
3: 00 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: No worries, another few hours and you'll be being bored into, rather than just being bored
3: 02 pm Tanith Low: OH MY GOD
3: 04 pm Ghastly Bespoke: I'm covering my face in shame.
3: 04 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: WE WERE ALL THINKING IT
3: 07 pm Erskine Ravel: Anton, I'm Grand Mage now. I can't devote all my time to making sure you behave. Go sit on the naughty step.
3: 08 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: Do I have to? D:
3: 08 pm Erskine Ravel: Yes.
3: 08 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: Ugh fine.
Antceratops Paedo King Shudder is offline
3: 14 pm Tanith Low so now that Anton's on the 'naughty step' I feel OK with saying I'm really looking forward to tonight
3: 16 pm Dexter Vex: Me too! It's been ages since we had a party together, even if Valkyrie, Skulduggery and Leo won't be there
3: 17 pm Tanith Low: I'm hoping it'll be as crazy as the other times - remember when Anton made all these groups like You know it was a good night when you still have cake in your hair
3: 19 pm Dexter Vex: Remember that time we all wanted to sit together so Anton pushed two hotel beds together to make a double, and then we watched Final Destination and Erskine got so scared he fell through the gap between the beds
Tanith Low likes this
3: 20 pm Tanith Low: Hahahahahhaaha
3: 21 pm Erskine Ravel: I was drunk! It doesn't count!
3: 22 pm Tanith Low: We thought the beds had swallowed you up, Fletcher was so panicked haha
3: 24 pm Fletcher Renn: he was holding my cookies, I was worried for a good reason
Dexter Vex and Tanith Low like this
7: 09 pm Tanith Low: Getting ready!
7: 12 pm Valkyrie Cain: I'm pretty annoyed I'm not going to the party now: all Skulduggery and I have done in the past 3 hours is look through a windshield at a door.
7: 14 pm Tanith Low: Stakeouts. Can't beat 'em.
7: 16 pm Valkyrie Cain: Great, now he's telling me to put my phone away because 'distractions cost lives, and the cost of your life may cost me some amount of annoyance.' Talk to you later!
7: 17 pm Tanith Low: Wait, wait - should I go with a black leather jacket or brown?
7: 18 pm Valkyrie Cain: Since when do I know the first thing about fashion? Black, I guess...?
7: 18 pm Tanith Low: Brown it is then. Ta very much
7: 19 pm Valkyrie Cain: *eye roll*
7: 56 pm Ghastly Bespoke I can hear the Avicii from three streets away. Seriously considering leaving this party before I have even gone to it.
Leo DiCaprio likes this
9: 40 pm Fletcher Renn has added 12 pictures to his photo album Midnight Hotel Party Banter
Tanith Low, Antceratops Paedo King Shudder, Dexter Vex and nine others like this
9: 42 pm Finbar Wrong: Loving the picture where you can see Erskine doing a shot off Anton's chest! Riiiighteous, guys
9: 56 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder posted on River Legend's Wall
Nice of you to come to my party, I haven't seen you in a while...want me to give you the tour? ;)
10: 03 pm River Legend: I'm going to politely decline due to the fact you were licking vodka from Erskine's neck 30 minutes ago.
10: 06 Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: Im an indiscriminate licker, don't worry, if you like that then I'm on board
10: 07 River Legend: I'm going to go talk to Tanith and so you should stop your creepy semi-drunk comments now, ok? I'll come dance with you in three cider's time
10: 08 pm Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: Can't stop won;t stop
10: 11 pm Erskine Ravel: Do you want me to deal with him for you?
10: 11 pm River Legend: Much appreciated :)
10: 19 pm Erskine Ravel posted on River Legend's Wall
I locked him in the cupboard with Fletcher and Guitar Hero. Mwahaha.
River Legend likes this
11: 23 pm PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
The Bentley's getting cold now. And I can't turn on the heat since you told me not to touch anything. And people are sending me pictures from a party where Erskine is, judging by the photos, doing backflips off a table into a hot tub. Let's just call it a night. Where even are you?
11: 29 pm PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Valkyrie Cain
1. I thought I told you to turn your phone off? I'm allowed to have mine on right now because I'm superior to everything.
2. Don't touch the Bentley. That's a do-or-die order.
3. I don't care if Erskine is doing backflips off a magical sparkling trampoline into a pool of frothy champagne, we're not leaving. Someone may still arrive.
11: 31 pm PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
Fine but I just got sent a video where Ghastly was singing about a flying spaghetti monster you better buy me some kind of really nice weapon to make up for this
11: 38 pm PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Valkyrie Cain
I'll get you a stick.
11: 40 pm PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
Not this again.
12: 02 am Antceratops Paedo King Shudder YEAH! OH YEAH! NEW HIGH SCORE ON GUITAR HERO! WOO! YEAH
12: 04 am Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: I SLAYED taht game!
12: 04 am Antceratops Paedo King Shudder: I am no longer being called 'antceratops paedo king shudde'r, from now on I am just 'King'
12: 07 am Antceratops King Shudder: yeaasaaah
12: 08 am Antceratops King Shudder: KNEEL BEFORE ME PEASANTS YOUR GUITAR GOD ID MIGHTYU
12: 09 am Antceratops King Shudder: Now bringt me a crown and that flame eaater
12: 11 am Antceratops King Shudder: I AM XCROWNED ALL TREMBLE B4 ME
12: 14 am Tanith Low: U do know that's a party hat you're wearing
12: 19 am Antceratops King Shudder: Shut up its a crown
12: 23 am DexBOI McLovin GUESS WHO'S BAAAACK
12: 29 am checked in at the Midnight Hotel
12: 37 am Geraint Mizzle Yo, everyone here is lame. There's not even any Necromancers. Party fail
12: 39 am Fletcher Renn: You watch yr whore mouth
12: 43 am Antceratops King Shudder: soemene let me out wwthis cupboaard so I canwaste you
12: 44 am Tanith Low: No-one insults Anton's parties. NO-ONE.
12: 47 am Geraint Mizzle: Do u have the swag? I think not. I have all the swag so I'm better than all of u haha
12: 48 am Fletcher Renn: His powers are strong
12: 51 am Geraint Mizzle: YOU WANNA RAP BATTLE WITH ME? YOU WANNA RAP BATTLE?
12: 51 am Fletcher Renn: no sir
12: 52 am Fletcher Renn: pls don't hurt me with your swag
12: 54 am Erskine Ravel: There's only 1 man able to comba t this level of ghetto
1: 06 am PM message: Erksine Ravel to Skulduggery Pleasant and Antceratops King Shudder
SKUL. You have to help uus. There's a really mean swaggy mage at the partie and you're the onlyy person I knw with enoigh ghetto knowledge to get rid of him
1: 12 am PM message: Antceratops King Shudder to Erskine Ravel and Skulduggery Pleasant
Hurry he's takin pictures with my stuff and saying 'we gotta instagram dis joint'
1: 19 am PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Erskine Ravel and Antceratops King Shudder
I am on a serious, confidential stakeout here; surely as Grand Mage you couldn't condone leaving a case for something as trivial as a matter of Anton's party?
1: 19 am PM message: Erksine Ravel to Skulduggery Pleasant and Antceratops King Shudder
As a sober grand mage maybe
1: 20 am PM message: Erksine Ravel to Skulduggery Pleasant and Antceratops King Shudder
I will give you uore own parking space at the sanctuary
1: 22 am PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Erskine Ravel and Antceratops King Shudder
You have swayed me. I'll message this 'swaggy mage', but you all really should learn to be less reliant on me. Although I do understand. Deference to me is only natural.
1: 24 am PM message: Antceratops King Shudder to Erskine Ravel and Skulduggery Pleasant
You'll do it\? What about the stakout?
1: 25 am PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Erskine Ravel and Antceratops King Shudder
The people we're tailing aren't coming out any time soon, I've been playing Angry Birds for the past half hour.
So what is the identity of this bully of yours?
1: 28 am PM message: Erksine Ravel to Skulduggery Pleasant and Antceratops King Shudder
Geraint Mizzle . He's a rrrrrright dick.
1: 30 am PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Erskine Ravel and Antceratops King Shudder
The cad who was flirting with Valkyrie at the Requiem Ball? This just made my job a lot easier.
1: 31 am Skulduggery Pleasant posted on Wall
Not that I have heard much of you before this, but I'm sure you're aware of who I am. My friends informed me you were being rude and as a result asked me to speak to you about it. Is this note of warning suffice, or shall I remind you of the numerous times I've bested much fiercer opponents than you?
1: 34 am Geraint Mizzle: can't best my swag xoxo
1: 36 am Skulduggery Pleasant: Good God, it's like pop culture has solidified in a human being.
1: 37 am Geraint Mizzle: Ok then. Lets have a your mum battle and then we can see who is the best
1: 39 am Skulduggery Pleasant: What age are you, fifty? I will not have a 'your mum' battle.
1: 39 am Geraint Mizzle: That's cause I'm better hahaha. Enjoy checking out my ass as I walk away
1: 41 am Skulduggery Pleasant: What.
1: 43 am Erskine Ravel: Come ON You said you ould do it you used to be able to have aa your mum fight
1: 45 am Skulduggery Pleasant: No! I was immature in my youth!
1: 46 am Tanith Low: Skulduggery yr ghetto phase was like a year ago
1: 48 am DexBOI McLovin': Destroy that bastard
1: 49 am Ghastly Bespoke: KILL THE INFIDEL
1: 49 am Erskine Ravel: Do this and there's a new suit in it for you
1: 50 am Skulduggery Pleasant: Hey, Geraint Mizzle! Are we doing this or what?
1: 54 am Geraint Mizzle: You going down...cause your mum's so fat the only thing stopping her getting to macdonald's is the door!
1: 54 am Geraint Mizzle: #burn
1: 54 am Skulduggery Pleasant: Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
Erskine Ravel, DexBOI McLovin' and Tanith Low like this
1: 56 am Geraint Mizzle: Your mums teeth are so crooked it looks like she's putting up gang signs
1: 57 am Skulduggery Pleasant: Your mother's so stupid she thinks Iraq was invented by Steve Jobs.
2: 00 am Geraint Mizzle: yeah well your mum's so old when she was in school they DIDN'T HAVE HISTORY YET
2: 01 am Skulduggery Pleasant: Your mother is so fat that when she steps into an elevator it turns into the Hellevator.
2: 05 am Geraint Mizzle: Your mum's so stupid she took a spoon to the super bowl
2: 06 am Skulduggery Pleasant: Your mother is so fat that Britain tried to claim her as an extension of their land so they would once again be the Empire on which the sun never set.
2: 10 am Anceratops King Shudder: hes not replying. Is it over? Has Skulduggerry won?
2: 13 am Erskine Ravel: He cant' top that joke! He lost!
2: 15 am Tanith Low: YES WE HAVE WON
2: 18 am Geraint Mizzle: this party sux im leaving
Geraint Mizzle is offline
2: 19 am Erskine Ravel: WE DID IT BRING OUT EBEN MORE ALCOHOHOL TO CEELEBRATE
2: 21 am Skulduggery Pleasant: I'll think you'll find it was I who did it.
2: 24 am Ghastly Bespoke: Thanks and stuff
2: 25 am Fletcher Renn: Is it over? Can i come out from under the tBLE now?
2: 26 am Ghastly Bespoke: Yep the battle is over. The good guys have won. We csn all relax
2: 28 am Antceratops King Shudder: No we can't cause I'M TAKING MY TOP OFF
2: 29 am Skulduggery Pleasant: I'm taking leave of you all now. Enjoy the festivites. (But not too much: I don't want you getting any of those diseases again, Anton.)
2: 31 am Antceratops King Shudder: Pls diseases get ME
2: 34 am Skulduggery Pleasant: I'm...not too sure that's any better. Stay safe. Don't play strip Twister again.
2: 43 am PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
Look, I haven't seen anything all night. The Bentley is cold, I'm cold, and it's three in the morning. I'm sure you've been enjoying obsessively watching the building and that's fine for you but I've been here sitting here for hours doing nothing
2: 45 am PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Valkyrie Cain
Now, Valkyrie. You know how important it is to focus only on the case at hand and avoid trivial pursuits.
2: 47 am PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
I know YOU'RE above such things, but I don't like having nothing to do. If we're not leaving I just want to message Tanith and ask her how the party's going
2: 49 am PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Valkyrie Cain
I wouldn't do that. Best to talk to her in the morning when she's hungover, confused, and I can delete my facebook posts
2: 49 am PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
Wait, you haven't checked your news feed, have you? Or looked at their statuses about the party?
2: 50 am PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Valkyrie Cain
I told you of course I haven't! I'm only online right now to talk to you! Now back to work. No rest for the wicked!
2: 56 am PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
Pleaaase no. We haven't seen anything. Can't you take me home? I'm exhausted
2: 40 am PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
Hello there, Exhausted!
2: 43 am PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
Not funny! I'm being serious. -.-
2: 46 am PM message: Skulduggery Pleasant to Valkyrie Cain
So you're not Exhausted any more?
2: 49 am PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
Are you seriously kidding me?
2: 51 am PM message: Valkyrie Cain to Skulduggery Pleasant
No, I'm Skulduggery.