A/N: Set after season three. This time, Veronica needs Logan.

After watching Logan beat up Gory in the school cafeteria things just weren't the same for Veronica and Piz. She tried to pretend they were alright, but in reality, she just distanced herself from him more and more. They weren't really close to begin with, but now, she couldn't even stand to touch him.

She was lost, like a satellite without orbit. She needed Logan, she knew this, but her pride wouldn't let her admit defeat and go back to him.

Why would it be a defeat if she went back to him? Well, she always thought herself a strong girl, a girl who didn't need a man to make her happy. When she and Logan started sneaking around together it was new and exciting. Sure, it was a high school fling, but it quickly turned into something much more mature. She didn't want to admit she was in love with him, that she let herself be weak enough to fall for him, rely on him, need him to actually live.

Sure, she was alive, but she felt like she was living half a life. She had Wallace and Mac to talk to, she barely saw Piz anymore, even when he was right in front of her. Her friends saw what was happening, she was withering, but they had no idea what to do.

Two weeks after the Logan Gory beat down; she broke things off with Piz. Secretly, she was hoping if she distanced herself enough he would break up with her, and that would be that. She wouldn't need to feel guilty for pulling out of the relationship, even though she pulled away from it long ago.

Now, another week after the break-up, she was in her bed, looking at the ceiling, wondering what her life had come down to. She stopped taking cases, stopped visiting her friends, stopped everything. Thinking about the past month or so was just a blur. She couldn't even remember breaking up with Piz, had no idea what she said. She was sure that wasn't a good sign.

Her father knew something was off, that this was bad, but he didn't know how to stop it, how to fix it. Usually when his daughter went through a break-up she would listen to whiny songs and stay in her bedroom for a few days, then she would emerge, patched up and shining, ready to face the world again.

But things were always different where Logan was concerned. He knew that things were different when she used her normal break-up techniques when they had an argument. He hated to see her like this, but at a loss of what to do, he spent more time at home, trying to run into her, being a good father by just being there, hoping she would talk to him.

Things went on like this for a few days until she literally ran into him in the kitchen.

"Oh, sorry dad," she mumbled as she rifled through the fridge to get some food.

"Honey, I'm worried," he said for the hundredth time since she started this behavior.

"I'm fine, dad, honest...," she said, sighing as she talked.

He slammed the paper on the counter. "No!" he shouted. "You're not fine and it's going to stop now. I know I probably haven't done everything right for you, raising you without your mother hasn't always been the easiest, but I'd like to think I did a better job then letting you think it was alright to mope around the house, not really eating, not showering, not calling your friends. It's going to stop now, Veronica!"

Her head snapped up and she looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in a while. He had dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping, probably from worrying over her. She was instantly ashamed of herself.

"I'm sorry, dad," she said. "You're right… this isn't good, I'm going to go shower and go down to the beach." She gave him a quick hug and turned towards the bathroom.

He stood there wide-eyed for a few minutes. He knew she was pretending, he knew her better than that. He thought that by guilt tripping her he might get a few sparks of life from her, but all he got was a weak echo of what his Veronica used to be.

As she showered away the grit from her body, she felt like she was washing away sand from her eyes. She thought back to her days with Logan, where her mind always seemed to go these days. She missed him so much. She missed his carefree attitude, his zest for life, his overindulgence on all things not quite good for you. Thinking back on their relationship, she realized they balanced each other out quite nicely.

He was always the one to go too far, and she would always rein him in from going too far. She was always the one to never be crazy or spontaneous, and he would always drag her with him, making her enjoy things she didn't think she could.

She thought back on her father's words. She didn't want him to think he did a bad job raising her. She loved him so much, she couldn't stand hurting him, hurting her friends, hurting herself, but she was so lost right now.

She hopped out of the shower, dried her hair and hastily put on some makeup to make her look alive. She tried to put some bounce in her step as she walked back into the kitchen, but failed miserably. 'Rome wasn't built in a day,' she thought.

"I really am sorry, dad," she said grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "I'm going to go to the beach, clear my head a bit… I'll be back later, don't worry… ok?"

He nodded, said he loved her, and she was off. She drove around aimlessly for a while, the niggling thought in the back of her mind that she was desperately trying not to give in to.

She was her mother's daughter after all… maybe it would help. No, she wasn't trying to fool herself, it wouldn't help. But at this point, helping really wasn't the issue. She didn't want help, she wanted to wallow. She wanted to bask in the disappointment she had become. She wanted to cry over all her losses, she wanted to scream at everything taken from her.

She reluctantly pulled into the parking lot and pulled out her fake ID. "Last chance to balk, Mars," she said aloud. She took a deep breath and walked into the liquor store.

Buying the alcohol wasn't an issue. She still had enough brain power left to make sure the clerk was a younger kid, didn't know who she was, and didn't know who her dad was.

She grabbed a bottle of blueberry wine, cringing at the surely disgusting taste. She had one in each hand, but put one back at the last minute. "Let's not go overboard," she mumbled to herself. She paid, thanked the clerk who never even glanced away from his tiny television, hopped in the car and drove to the beach.

She was glad it was getting later; the sun would go down soon and she would be left alone with her thoughts. She parked her car and turned off her cell phone so her dad couldn't track her exact location. Sure, it would probably make him worry more if he tried, but the point was she needed to feel alone right now.

She walked along the beach, her wine in her bag, hidden from sight. She watched painfully as a young couple loaded up their small child and all her playthings, done playing for the day. Tears gathered in her eyes at the sickly sweet sight.

She found a semi secluded spot, a pile of rocks about twenty feet from the waters edge. She sank down, her back to the rocks and let her thoughts wonder.

She decided now was good a time as any as she peeled off the foil top and twisted the knob on the side to pop the cork. She stashed the cork in her bag so she wouldn't lose it and took a swig. She laughed as she sputtered at the overly sweet wine with skunky undertones.

Her thoughts turned to Lilly. Lilly always drank wine, which was why she chose what she did. It had to be high end for Lilly to partake. Wine, champagne, cocktails, never beer. Beer was below Lilly. She silently toasted her bottle to the air, drinking another sip for Lilly.

She missed Lilly so much it hurt, all the time. She was her best friend, but she couldn't help thinking maybe even that was a fraud. Lilly never told her about Weevil. Lilly never told her about Aaron. Lilly never told her they could have been half sisters. There was so much Lilly never told her, so much she never told Lilly. Lilly would know what to do now, Lilly would tell her where to go, what to say, how to make things alright again.

Tears were spilling over her cheeks. She pulled her legs up and rested her face on her knees as she let her thoughts over take her.

She thought of Aaron, the night she found out Lilly was sleeping with him. He was the one to rip her best friend from her. She cried as she thought of herself locked in the metal freezer, knowing she was going to burn before her dad could get to her, then her immense relief when he finally did.

She thought of seeing Aaron in that elevator, months later, listening to him admit what he did. She had hated him like she hated no other, and she had to admit she was ecstatic when he turned up dead. The official word is suicide, but she thought differently. She thought someone had finally made the call and gotten revenge for Lilly.

Her thoughts turned to Duncan. She didn't linger there long because she thought of how she felt she had loved him with everything she had, until Logan walked into her life. Then her thoughts turned right to Logan, skipping everything else.

She took a few more swigs of the wine, trying to damper the rush of emotions. The sun had long set; the tide was getting higher, brushing her outstretched toes now. She would need to move higher on the rocks if she didn't want to get wet.

She thought of all the secret kisses and embraces shared with Logan in their early days, she thought of the day he shocked the shoes off of her when he told anyone at his surprise birthday party that if they didn't like her, they were dead to him. How he kissed her in circles when he was excited. She brought out the little boy in him, the little boy that was long gone, and now, would never be found again. Until he found someone else to make him happy.

She cringed at that thought and took another, bigger gulp. Logan with someone else was not something she wanted to picture. She hated that he was with Parker, but what could she really say. 'No, it's not alright that you date her. I know I don't date you anymore, but you cannot date anyone else either.' Yeah, that would have gone over well.

She thought it might have been easier for her if Logan moved on with someone else, someone who she didn't know, but that wouldn't have helped either. It was equally hard, if not more so, when he was with Hannah. She knew that he was really only with her to clear his name, and to make her jealous, but she couldn't help but think somewhere along the line he fell for her just a little bit.

She was feeling pretty tipsy now, almost half the bottle gone. She was a lightweight for sure, especially without normally drinking, and wine hits you pretty hard.

The tide was up to her thighs now, so she stood up and threw her bag on the rocks above her, took off her sweatshirt so she'd have something dry to wear, grabbed the bottle and plopped back down in the damp sand.

Back at home, Keith was going nuts. It was almost nine; Veronica had left for the beach around four fifteen. Sure, it hadn't been that long, and he was trying not to track her cell phone, but he was still worried. He knew she said she was going to the beach, she needed to think, she needed to get her head on straight and figure herself out.

She needed to find her own path in life; Keith couldn't always be there to pick her up. She was legally an adult and needed to make her own choices. He repeated this over and over again as he turned on the tracker to track her cell phone. As he feared, it was off. A clear sign for him to let her alone, she told him where she was, told him not to worry, he knew she would probably turn off her phone eventually, but he had hoped against it.

He pulled up the history and his heart dropped as he saw she had parked at the liquor store twenty minutes after leaving the house. He gathered his things to find her at the beach before stopping and thinking a moment. If he went in search of her, she wouldn't like it. She hated when he tracked her, it made her feel like a child, especially when he read the situation wrong and tracked her somewhere she was 'allowed' to be. He chuckled at the memory of her face and utter embarrassment when he tracked her to Leo's band practice.

He put his things down and sat back in the kitchen chair staring at the tracker. He picked up his cell phone, scrolling though the names, he knew he shouldn't call, but letting her alone at the beach, possibly drinking, was not an option.

Logan shut his book and fished his vibrating cell phone from his pocket. Yes, the infamous Logan Echolls was studying. He heard Veronica broke up with Piz a few weeks ago and was trying his hardest to improve himself so she would take him back. It was a slippery slope and he was finding it hard to stay on track.

He glanced at the screen before he paled and flipped it open quickly.

"Hello?" he answered hesitantly.

"Logan? It's Keith."

"Sheriff… what's wrong?" Logan and Keith had talked some while he was dating Veronica. Logan kept him in the loop of her cases, letting him know when she might have gotten in too deep, hoping between the two of them they could keep her from the trouble that always seemed to follow her.

"I'm sorry to call you, but it's Veronica. She left the house at four fifteen, stopped at a liquor store at four thirty five, and turned her cell phone off when she reached the beach at ten till five. She said she was going to clear her head, I didn't want to track her, but I haven't heard from her in a while and I'm starting to get worried. I'm sure she's still there, but if I go, she's not going to be happy with me."

Logan was already in the elevator, waiting impatiently for the doors to open again. "I understand, I'm on my way to the beach now, I'll call you when I find her."

Logan was in his car, speeding for the beach in a matter of minutes. His heart was pounding and his head was reeling. He couldn't believe Veronica would be drinking at the beach. She would go to clear her head, she would go to think, she would go to take pictures, enjoy the view, but would she go to drink?

He couldn't imagine it, maybe she was working a case and stopped to tie up loose ends. But before the thought even completed itself he knew that wasn't it. She hadn't taken a case since the day he beat Gory in the cafeteria. He hadn't talked to her since. He saw her once in a while; she looked out of it most of the time, like she wasn't really there.

He hastily parked and looked out at the deserted beach. He immediately started walking towards the rocks he knew would be the likeliest place she would be. His heart stopped and he froze in place when he saw her bag sitting on the rocks, he almost broke out in a run towards it when he saw her shakily amble up on the rocks, soaked from the waist down.

He heaved a relieved sigh and called Keith. "I found her, she's fine, I haven't talked to her yet, I'll call you when we're leaving."

Keith was immensely relieved and knew Logan would take care of her now.

Veronica sat in the sand, water up to her middle now. She was still crying, unable to stop the tears that seemed endless. She was starting to get cold so she stood up and climbed onto the rocks. The slightly more than half empty bottle slipped from her hand and spilled out on the rocks. She snatched it up only to have it pulled away. She looked up in shock to see Logan standing behind the rocks.

"I think we've had enough, Miss Lohan, don't you think?" he said playfully.

"That's not funny," she said sighing. "Did my dad call you?" she asked lightly. He was surprised she wasn't angry.

He pretended he didn't notice her wiping at her eyes as he answered. "Yes, he was worried about you, drowning your sorrows in cheap alcohol? That's more my m.o. What's up, Ronnie?"

She snorted. "Cheap? That bottle cost me fifteen dollars! Wait," she said as she paled. "Does he know?"

He looked at her pained expression and tried to keep from smiling. Her hair was a wreck from the wind and pushing her sandy hands through it. Her lips were stained blue, her eyes were rimmed red and her makeup was smeared. She had never looked more beautiful to him. A thrill shot through him as he realized if he thought she was beautiful now, after sitting on the beach for hours, drinking herself silly, and crying her eyes out, there really was no one else for him.

He nodded, swallowing thickly before answering. "Yeah, he knows. He's not mad though, more worried."

She laughed a short bitter laugh. "That's me, Veronica Mars, perpetual object of worry for generations to come," she said framing her words with her hands.

He laughed at her antics, wishing they had spent more time like this together. Judging by the amount of wine still in the bottle, and the amount lying on the rocks, she had only drunk about two and a half glasses. In the scheme of things, not much, but enough to make her tipsy.

"Can I have my cheap wine back?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

He shook his head. "No, I think I'll keep it."

"Fine, then I'm going for a walk," she said flippantly hopping from the rocks and walking away. He left her bag on the rocks, dumped the rest of the bottle out and stashed it in her bag before following her.

"That wasn't an invitation," she called over her shoulder.

"When did I ever wait for an invitation?" he said to her back.

She stopped to look at him. "Where's my wine?"

"I left it on the rocks," he said pointing to her bag a ways back.

"In the bottle or literally on the rocks?"

"I was speaking in more literal terms," he said smirking at their easy banter.

"You dumped it out?" she said slightly shocked.

He nodded and she threw her hands up. "I told you it cost fifteen dollars!"

"I'll buy you another one, a better one, but not tonight."

"You're lying," she said trying not to smirk. She missed everything about Logan, even the bantering.

"You're right, I am, but only because I don't have a fake ID good enough to fool someone at four in the afternoon."

"I can make you one," she said smiling at him.

"I'm sure you can, and I just might take you up on that, when you're sober…," he said laughing.

"I'm fine," she said waving her hand, continuing on her walk.

She fought a giggle until it burst through her lips and she let it overtake her. She stood there, in the middle of the water giggling until tears were running down her face again. Logan came up behind her as her giggled turned into sobs. He caught her up against him before she sank to her knees.

She pushed him away. "Don't touch me," she snapped at him, spinning around to face him. "Everything's been taken from me. Everything!" she shouted.

"Lilly was taken, my best friend who I really didn't even know, gone! My virginity, my mom, my friends," she was shouting as loud as she could, but looking at Logan, she crumbled again. "My… my… you," she whispered crying again.

"I'm right here, Ronnie. I was never taken from you, I'm right here," he said pulling her up from her knees.

"You are now, Logan! But don't you see, they are going to take you from me! One truly great thing in my life and they are going to take you from me!"

"Who? Who's going to take me?" he asked her, his hands on her shoulders.

"The Russian Mob!" she sputtered. "I told you to leave him alone, but no, and now he knows who you are!"

"Are you talking about Gory?" he asked.

She nodded numbly. "Ronnie," he said pulling her towards him. She wrapped her arms around his back, crying into his shirt.

"You can't leave me," she cried. "I can't do this without you, I thought I could, but damnit Logan, I love you. I don't want to do this alone, I love you!" she shouted at him.

He smoothed her hair and kissed the top of her head, tears swimming in his own eyes at her anguish. "I'm not going anywhere, baby, I promise." He pulled back from her to make sure she was listening to his next words. "Listen to me; I took your warning seriously. I called Jake Kane after I left the cafeteria, explained to him what happened. Apparently his security guy is close with Gory's uncles… he talked to them; they know Gory is an ass and he got what was coming to him. He's not going to be coming after me, everything is fine."

She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her tears. "You called Jake? Why?"

He grinned. "Your dad told me to." She looked at him shocked. "I really did take your warning seriously, but I couldn't let him get away with what he did. So I called your dad, explained it to him as best I could, I trust your dad. Anyway, he told me to call Jake, that he could talk to Gory's uncles and try to get it cleared up, but Jake might have a better in. So, I called Jake, who despite his faults loves his kids, and thankfully sees me as one of his kids. He told me not to worry, that he would take care of it… and he did."

She laughed albeit a bit hysterically. "You're not being hunted?"

He laughed. "No, I'm not being hunted; looks like you're stuck with me a little while longer."

She jumped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. Her tears started again, but this time tears of relief. She was terrified she would wake up one day and find that Logan had been kidnapped, tortured, and killed overnight.

They pulled apart. "Is that why you're out here?" he asked. "Acting all reckless," he added faux girly, shaking his hands in true spirit finger fashion.

She laughed. "Partly. I didn't intend to get drunk and figure things out; I intended to get drunk to forget about everything."

He chuckled. "And what exactly did you figure out?"

"That I don't have to do everything alone. That I want you more than I've wanted anything in my life," she said glancing at him.

"Even more than a pony?" he asked eyes wide.

She snickered and smacked him on the arm. "I'm serious!" she said.

"I know you are… now. But tomorrow, when you wake up, hung over, I don't want you to regret anything. So I'm going to keep my lips sealed until tomorrow morning. When you wake up if nothing's changed, call me… if things have changed, well, we'll deal with it then."

She nodded her throat tight. "I'm sorry I wasn't a good girlfriend," she started.

"Veronica…," he said.

"No, let me get this out. Just incase tomorrow changes things, I want you to know that I'm sorry I never told you I loved you when we were dating. I did, I do. Honestly, Logan… I've never felt like this with anyone else. Everyone thinks that Duncan was my first true love, but they're wrong. He was my first love, but he was never a true love. You're my true love, and anything Duncan and I ever shared pales in comparison to what I feel when I'm with you." Her tears started again and she angrily wiped them away.

"I would rather fight with you then ever date anyone else again. I hate that I let you go without a fight, I hate that I said those horrible mean things to you, I hate that I pushed you away when all I wanted to do was wrap myself up in you, keep you with me forever. I don't care if I sound selfish, but I want you Logan, all of you, always."

He stood shocked in place, looking at her as she finished her declaration. Standing in the moonlight, listening to the waves, feeling the sand beneath his feet and the water splashing around his ankles, he couldn't move. She had finally shocked him speechless.

He took one step towards her and crashed his mouth down on hers. She squeaked and sank into his embrace, wrapping her hands around his neck, running her fingers through his hair. He smiled against her lips and pulled back.

"You taste like blueberries," he said, resting his forehead against hers.

"You mean cheap wine?" she said, still fighting to catch her breath.

He shook his head. "It was cheap in the bottle, in you, it's very elegant. Not enough money in the world to buy it," he said smirking.

She laughed and pulled him to her again, fighting the shivers closing in on her.

"Take me home?" she whispered against his neck.

He nodded and scooped her up in his arms. "Your wish, my command, m'lady," he said with an old world accent.

She chuckled, kicking her feet. "I can walk you know!"

"Yes, but it's more fun this way," he said.

She snickered again, but snuggled into him. One arm around his neck, his arms beneath her knees and behind her back. All was right in the world.

He set her down on the dry side of the rocks and grabbed her bag and sweatshirt. He grabbed a blanket from the car and draped it around her, holding his door open.

"I'll get your seat all wet, we can take my car," she offered.

"It's fine, they'll dry, don't worry about it," he urged her. Giving up, she climbed in.

He turned the heat on and picked up his phone. "I'll call your dad and let him know you're on your way," he said flipping open the phone.

"Oh no! My dad! No, I don't want him to see me like this! Please don't take me home!" she pleaded with him.

He couldn't help but laugh. "Alright, alright, I'll take you to my place, all you had to do was say you wanted to get me alone and take advantage of me," he said, pretending to be offended.

She laughed, which was his ultimate goal. He put his phone down and drove to the hotel. Once inside the room, Veronica said she was going to take a hot shower. He gave her a pair of his boxers, sweatpants, a t-shirt and sweatshirt. She gave him a quick kiss and trotted off to the bathroom.

He called Keith while he was alone. "Sherriff," he said in greeting. "Yeah, she's fine. A little tipsy, but fine. She.. uh.. she wants to stay here tonight, she doesn't want you to see her… like this…," he knew he was rambling. But how was he supposed to tell her dad, someone he respected and trusted that he was going to spend the night with his drunken daughter because he was afraid to face her father like that.

He was surprised to hear Keith laugh on the other end of the line. This was obviously a night of surprises. "I figured, Logan. I trust you. Thanks for going after her, I really appreciate it."

"You know I'd go after her anywhere, sir," Logan said sincerely.

"I know you would, son. That's why I called you."

Logan couldn't help but smiling. They said goodbye just as Veronica was coming out of the bathroom.

"Is he mad?" she asked quietly. The alcohol was finally catching up to her, the buzz wearing off, leaving her head spinning and her stomach turning.

"No, he's fine. Do you want anything? Water? Food?"

"Uh, maybe a little water… and some aspirin?" she said motioning to her head.

He chuckled and grabbed a bottle of water "Water and sleep now, aspirin in the morning," he said handing it to her.

She nodded once, wishing she wouldn't have moved her head. She trusted him implicitly on this; he was the drinking expert after all.

"You can have the bed," he said walking toward the bathroom. "I'm going to take a quick shower, and then I'll take the couch."

She smiled at him. "Okay… thanks, Logan."

He smiled at her as he shut the door to the bathroom. As he showered he couldn't help but hope and pray tomorrow nothing would be changed. He loved her so much, hearing her say the words tonight, even when slightly sloshed, made his heart soar.

He quickly dressed in a pair of pajama pants, towel dried his hair and walked out of the bathroom. He tried not to laugh at Veronica, in the same position he left her, out cold. The open bottle of water still in her hand by her side.

He tiptoed over to her, took the water and scooped her up. She made a sleepy noise as he walked her to his bed. She awoke as he was trying to balance her and pull the covers down.

"Sorry," she said sleepily. His only response was a chuckle as he finally got her situated in bed.

"Stay with me?" she asked grasping his hand.

"Are you sure?" he asked her, hoping she'd say yes.

She tugged on his hand and he climbed in beside her. She snuggled against his chest, laying her head on his arm. "I miss you," she whispered as she fell asleep again.

Veronica awoke to a dull, thumping headache. She lay still for a few moments remembering the night's events. She was embarrassed at her actions, but thankful she finally spoke her mind, told Logan everything. She would have rather it happened when she was sober, but she needed the lubrication of alcohol to get her mouth working.

She rolled over, reaching for Logan when she realized she was alone. She looked at the clock, it was almost noon. She slid from the bed and cracked open the bedroom door.

Logan was stretched rather uncomfortably looking on the couch, a blanket haphazardly thrown across his hips. She went over to him, his features relaxed in sleep. She carefully rearranged the blanket to cover him more completely, pausing to run her fingers down his cheek.

She tiptoed into the bathroom, scrubbed her teeth with her toothbrush that he'd never thrown out and ran his brush through her tousled hair.

When she exited the bathroom he was half sitting, half laying on the couch, his hair sleep tousled.

"Morning," she said softly.

"Morning," he replied hesitantly. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop, always.

"Why are you on the couch?" she asked, clearly remembering pulling him into bed with her the night before.

"How much of last night do you remember?" he asked. He knew she didn't really drink enough to forgot anything, just enough to give her a mild hangover and probably turn her off of blueberry wine for a while. He was giving her the option to pretend ignorance; pretend she forgot what she didn't want to remember.

She walked towards the couch and curled up on the end he wasn't sitting on, pulling her legs up under her chin. "I remember everything," she said hesitantly.

"And?" he asked.

"Nothing's changed," she said looking at him pointedly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, pleading with his eyes.

She nodded once and stood up. She wobbled slightly and squinted at the light. She stood in front of him, looking down at him. "Except I think I've lost my appetite for blueberry wine," she said smiling wanly.

He pulled her down into his lap as she squeaked. He looked at her, a smile lighting up his features. "I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too, Logan…," his mouth found hers and she melted into his arms once more.

She pulled back to allow them time to catch their breath. She rested her head against his forehead. "Thanks for coming out to get me last night; I don't know how I would have gotten home."

"Always," he said against her lips as he kissed her again.

She pulled back smirking. "Can I have that aspirin now?"