Chad's final words

Hi everyone, Chad here. Have you ever felt like your whole world is falling apart? Welcome to my world.

I thought everything was going to be okay, Sonny and I have an on/off relationship any way.

I'm not religious but I think there was a reason why this happened. Everything happens for a reason.

When Sonny broke up with me, I felt every cell in my body go numb. I felt, like nothing matters any more that life shouldn't go on. And that's why it won't. For me any way. I hope that Sonny finds someone who will love her and treat her right. And damn any one who treats her wrong to hell.

Because I love her but obviously I could never be the guy she wants. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. I try to be just Chad around her, but it's hard forgetting your life behind for a girl.

But it's all worth it.

I love her more than anything on Earth and I hope she knows that. She will find someone perfect that will appreciate her, who will be a steady boyfriend. Be everything I tried to be, but can't.

Is it normal to not be able to feel any muscle in your body or to love someone that will never love you back. She probably only went out with me because she felt sorry for me.

She doesn't love me.

My friends hate me.

She hates me.

My parents are really annoyed with me.

They are all I have left.

The only thing keeping me alive.

But not for much longer.

I can't stand being around her and feeling so helpless, that she doesn't need me, that she doesn't love me. I WANT her, I NEED her, I LOVE her. But that won't change anything. Nothing can change all the damage I've done and I'd rather her be happy than anything else. She looks better without me. She looks happy. She doesn't have the bags under her eyes from sleepless nights that you have to cover up with make up.

Like I have.

She doesn't have tear-stained cheeks after every time she looks at me.

Like I have.

She doesn't have a hill bigger than mount everest of used tissues.

Like I have.

She doesn't love me.

Like I do.

She doesn't miss me.

Like I do.

She doesn't want my love.

Like I do.

She doesn't need me.

Like I do.

Life may be able to go on for others but it shouldn't for me.