OMG guys! Im sooo terribly sorry for being absent this past few weeks! I being soo busy with projects and school I couldnt find free time for my fic. Then I experienced my first struggle writting in my story I was getting soo frustrated. And then? I got sick...just perfect! So please dont hate me, I tried to update but I just couldnt...but hey..here I am again(wish you guys remember my humble story) and in my miserable way to repay you...another really long chapter. And im actually proud of it lol.

Oh another thing. I should thank . Lils..it has being one crazy friendship with you. Love ya girl!

And now...enojoy ^^

"Quinnie" said a voice far away for my subconscious to register it. A palm was gains my forehead carefully as again the voice repeated my name with love and care "Quinnie..Quinnie wake up" grunting with a sore throat I scrunch up my brows, sniffing momentarily, wishing the voice just stopped.

"Mom.."I whine just like a little child would the moment I recognize the soothing voice of my mother as she tried her best to wake me up "Sleep" is all I manage to say along with the words "sick" the rest is muffled by the pillow against my cheek. I hear my mom sigh, her hands caressing my face lightly.

"Oh honey…well, I'll just tell Rachel you are asleep"

I open my eyes instantly, my head thumping just as quickly.

"Rachel is here?"I look up at my mom, my heart already beating happily with the mention of her name as I then cleared my throat in the process. She nods, ducking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I'll bring her" it's all she says, her soft and mother like smile never leaving her face, almost like she knew what I was just about to tell her. I nod, crawling out of the bed without so much energy. I hear the clear footsteps of the petite girl getting near, the nerves already taking control of my body as I quickly stood up, to quickly for someone in my current state.

And as she appeared in the entrance of my room looking absolutely stunning for someone who just came to visit her…sick….well the point is that she looks gorgeous. I felt myself smile dreamily by the simple sight of her, the urge to just close the distance between us and finally continue what the nurse interrupted at school crossing my mind almost immediately.

"Oh Quinn…"was the first thing that left her lips, her eyes taking me in with that Rachel Berry famous pout plastered on her features "I knew prolonging our..talk.. was going to make you even more sicker" she says with guilt and worry in her voice, taking one step towards me.

"Rachel, what are you doing here? I thought you said you were going to be at Breadsticks with everyone" She gives me a look and I soon realize that little question could easily be misinterpreted by the tiny diva "Not that I'm complaining" I clarify quickly.

"Well I got your message" she answers simply. I feel then myself blushing as I instantly recall said message contents: I'm already missing you so much Rach…I wish you were here to make me feel better mono is a bitch( Language, I know)… anyway hope you are having fun at Breadstick's :) say hi to everyone for me (except Santana).

Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart

"Rachel you didn't have-" she shake her head, a gracious smile in her pink lips.

"I was planning to come over even after the message Quinn" she informs me. Still I couldn't help but to feel guilty. "And if I being here makes you feel any better, then I'm pleased I left the reunion" My heart pound loudly inside my chest by her sincere and caring words as she makes me feel special without realizing it. Not even Sam, who was still entitled as my "boyfriend" had bother to come at all. Not that I was waiting for him to do so, but still. Just one more reason to believe Sam and I weren't meant to be together anymore.

"You didn't have to" I repeat in a whisper, looking down to the floor "But I'm glad you came"

"I also thought we could…"she struggles as I watch her bite her lip softly, that trade mark of hers never getting old or less cute "Talk" she finishes but just as quickly as she scrutinizes my face again she adds "Although…"

Suddenly I remember what a mess I am. I can see myself right now through Rachel's eyes: more pale than my normal pale, shaggy complexion, and in my pajamas….Oh God..

I blush furiously "I'm hideous isn't?" her eyes open wide, her long eyelashes almost touching part of her brow as her mouth opens in a little O.

"Hideous?"She scoffs when I nod "Quinn, you could never look hideous. You are actually the first person I´ve ever meet that manages to look dazzling even when ill" states Rachel with pure honesty "I was just going to say that maybe right now wasn't the best time to converse about us. What you need is to rest; I'll be more than fine just keeping you company" I feel a warm grow within me, a warm created just by the way she is pronouncing her words.

And with those affectionate words, the disease seems to be nothing at all. I was tired, yes. But I was also dying to talk about this with Rachel the moment our lips touched for the second time. We needed this.

"No, let's talk" Rachel doesn't say anything for a few seconds, but instead she keeps her eyes upon me. She finally nods with a soft smile taking some steps in my direction.

"Could you…"she stops in her tracks and looks at me, waiting for me to continue. I smile "close the door?" Rachel turned around and closed the door with a soft thud at the end as she was facing me again.

"Better?"I blush with the way she is looking at me. The way I've been dying for her to look at me for a while now... I nod slowly, hiding my eyes "What's wrong? Are you okay? I'm sorry; of course you aren't…do you want me to come back tomorrow?" she said even more worried as she was now more close to my body. I feel my heart soften.

"I'm fine Rach" I chuckle as I sat once again in my bed. She tilted her head as she watched me with her loving gaze that always manage to…I sigh…well, that basically "You just..make me nervous..That's all" I smile at her with a blush as I let myself be vulnerable around her. She sits next to me, the bed dipping a little under her weight.

"Is that…a bad thing?"She asks in a whisper, not meeting my eyes. I instantly take her hand in mine leaning in and kissing her cheek sweetly "I'll take that as a no?"She smirks at me. I shake my head with a smile playing in my lips, the presence of Rachel already making me forget about the mono thing.

I then realized Rachel, even after our kissing session, was perfectly healthy… "I don't understand" I say furrowing my brows" Why are you not sick? I mean...we kissed and...It wasn't exactly like an innocent kiss" I say in a low voice confused as to why Rachel wasn't sick. Not that I wanted her to be sick in the first place, but I couldn't help to be curious about it. Rachel look at me with that little grin of hers still playing in her lips. I quirked an eyebrow, knowing pretty well what she was about to say "What? Not even mono can beat one Rachel Berry?" I ask her. She instantly smiles proudly, nodding along the way "Well Rachel, I think you are getting a little confident over here" I tease.

"Not at all Quinn. Maybe is just the fact that this Rachel Berry is able to turn mono into stereo" I roll my eyes at her attempt to make a joke "Besides, there was no way I would let myself get sick, as you might remember, last time I got sick I had a nervous breakdown" she states firmly.

"Laryngitis... I remember" the image of Rachel walking around the halls with a bowl of cereal in hand pops instantaneously in my head as I also remember that Miley Cyrus song she tried to sing but wasn't able to finish "Well I'm glad I didn't get you sick" I smile trying to ignore my the voice in my head that was telling to just kiss the girl in front of me again. Rachel smiled sweetly in my direction as she played with our intertwined hands atop of her lap "By the way…"our eyes lock and I feel my blood boiling "You are the only person I've ever meet that looks stunning all the time" I feel more exposed with my little truthful confession. And it was true. Even after all those nasty comments I used to say regarding Rachel's clothing style deep down I knew I found her always managing to be beautiful to me. At the time I thought I was just annoyed by her persona, but now I can see clearly that wasn't the case at all.

I feel Rachel's lips caressing my mouth seconds later in a sweet kiss. At first I just stay there with my eyes open thinking I'm imagining things, my lips steady. But the moment I understand what's happening I feel myself smile under her touch, blinking a few times before finally closing my eyelids letting myself savoring this moment. It doesn't take long before, surprisingly, my back is hitting softly the comfy bed, my hands taking Rachel cheeks, dragging her with me. The kiss is slowly turning into more of a heated make out session and just when I sense Rachel's hand in my waist I know is time to actually talk.

"As much as I love to continue" I start, pulling away but not so much as we look into each other's eyes, both of us wearing a dreamily face "I also want to talk about it and..." I chuckle "I don't feel that sexy to start a make out session with you"

Her beautiful laugh fills my ears immediately, her breath tickling now my neck as she has hidden her face momentarily in there.

"You are right" she gets off of me "Not about the last part of course. You are beautiful no matter what" and I wish her warm body was over me again, but I know if that was the case, there would be no talk at all. I give her a smile "Now Quinn, you have to be honest with me okay?"She starts then, her voice is serious as she smooth's her shirt with her hands, her eyes finding mine waiting for my answer.

"I'll promise Rach" I assure her, not caring really what I'm getting myself into. We are again facing each other as I straight up, our legs now in an indie style position.

She goes straight to the point "Do you have feelings for me?"

I look at Rachel when those words left her lips feeling my heartbeat race up immediately. I perfectly understood by she opted to be serious and directly or why her eyes seemed to penetrate my own with such force. I was not surprised really. It was a logical she would start with that question after all that's been happening between us. Still, my very first instinct, which was after all very similar to have a big loop over you, was the urge to run away or, in my case, the urge to have the power back wasn't either unexpected. There was a lot I wanted to express. All my insecurities, all my feelings…to just be completely vulnerable with her "I know I'm being blunt with my question Quinn but you must understand that right now I feel deeply confused with all of this" she continued after not hearing a word from me "I need…you must be true with me. If what you are feeling towards me is lust.. that you are attracted to the rush this hidden relationship has..or.." she trails off, clearly waiting for me to say something. Again with the unintended hurtful comments I knew I shouldn't be flabbergasted of by now.

I take her hand when the last thought leaves my mind as I lean in and I kiss her lightly.

"I have feelings for you Rachel" I confess finally, pushing aside all my insecurities just for her to push that old Quinn away from her memories "I understand why you doubt about...my intentions with you but..I do feel something for you. I'm not doing this out of lust or just because I somehow get turn on with the whole situation" I take a deep breath, before saying it again "I-like-you"

I open my eyes since I apparently closed them in my final, not first, declaration to Rachel who is now looking at me with a certain bright in her eyes, a small but meaningful smile in her face. Just when I was about to ask her the same thing, her soft but confident voice continued.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear that from you Quinn. And I know what you are thinking and I'm sorry for all those times I've brought up your past in our conversations" she looks up from her eyelashes in an ashamed manner.

I sigh "Don't be…I deserve it. I can't hide my past" I accept "But I can assure you Rachel…I'm not that person anymore"

"I know…."she smiles at me reassuringly "Which leads me to the next question, of you don't mind of course" I shake my head right and left asking her to continue. Her expression seems reflexive as the words leave her mouth "All of this…that day at the auditorium..the peck..It just makes me think.." she is facing me fully again "for how long have you felt like this way towards me?"

I feel the blood reaching my cheeks immediately, now the past memories reaching my head with a good reason. I knew it…the moment I saw Rachel in a different light; it knew it. All those cold stares, al the insults…Finn..my obsession regarding her. All of it also gained a new meaning to me.

Blinking, since mono can't be fooled that long and is now putting me down, I exhale. Rachel is about to know the thing that would make me entirely exposed. I get uncomfortable, a lump in my throat always mocking me when feelings, my most sacred feelings are involved. I wrinkle my forehead, thinking of what I'm about to say "When I went that day to the auditorium, my intentions were just the ones I told you. I wanted to be your friend.. I really wanted to do something to make you realize how wrong we all were. How unfair…"I don't say anything for a moment, trying to recall the day I fell for her… "I…I" but my voice trails off. I'm scared with all this confessions I've obviously had been hiding for a long time. I was scared of Rachel finding out..no..finding is not the right word. Giving her all the necessary proof; she could now be certain about my lack of confidence.

"You should lie down" is not a suggestion really. And if it was, her hands pushing me down on my back again meant otherwise. I bite my lower lip unable to say anything at all "It's alright Quinn. I won't push you" she stopped abruptly realizing her current actions, rolling her eyes at herself with a small grin "you know what I mean" I relax a little, her fingertips brushing delicate patterns in my hand. I was strange how Rachel could read me so easily sometimes "Do you want me to get your mom?"She asks me then in a sweet manner. Very Rachel like. I shake my head slowly, closing my eyes momentarily wondering where was going to be the day I would put my walls down around her "Do you…want me to leave?"

I squeeze her hand, one thought in my mind while doing so "Would you mind staying with me until I fall asleep again?"It sounds almost as if I'm pleading her to do so and, thankfully, she obeys with a warm smile. Moments later we are again facing one another in a very intimate position. And judging by the way I was looking at her and the way she was looking at me, we were also in a very intimate emotional situation.

"Do you like me?" I couldn't resist myself anymore. Even if I was trying to prove Rachel my feelings were true I still didn't knew what Rachel felt about all of this and it was killing…for a while now honestly. Maybe…even from the beginning. I'm not sure anymore.

Her cheeks turn pink over her curled up lips "I thought I was being noticeable?" her voice comes in a little nervous chuckle. I sigh relieved. Yes, she kissed me more than once, she locked me up and attacked me in a janitor's closet and she even came on Valentine's Day because I told her I missed her. But not even all of this could make me forget the fact that just a few weeks ago Rachel still seemed pretty much in love with Finn. Fact that was still biting a corner in my mind as I knew how much I truly felt threaten by our ex-boyfriend.

An as some primal instinct, that wasn't enough for me "Say it" I plead, trying to ignore that I did so; the idea of pleading this way for someone, very much strange for me to hear and process. And considering Rachel gentle but kind of surprised expression, practically said the same thing.

"I like you Quinn" unable to help myself, my lips find hers in a silent exchange words I wish I could bring myself to say now that I know I shouldn't be afraid to share with her. I smile under her delicious touch, feeling the butterflies in my stomach.

"Good…because I really like you" I mutter in her lips, at least confident enough to reaffirm this, pulling her closer to my body. Again we are about to cross the thin line between a kiss and a make out session but I don't seem to care anymore. The most important thing we needed to discuss was now out there.

Her hot breath caresses my mouth as she suddenly pulls me away delicately "Wait" my eyes flutter open when she says this, scanning her eyes with worry "What about Sam?" I feel a sting inside my body as I hold my breath with this reminder. A memory then pops up in my head: the day I got pregnant when those exact words(minus the name) came from my own lips as I found myself in a position not so different like this particular I'm getting into(minus the drunk sex…Okay, besides the sex part) "What are we?..I mean…what do you expect us to be? Because, whatever you answer is going to be Quinn, you can't solicit me to sneak around with you anymore while you are still in a relationship with him "I part my lips in order to respond " He already suspects you cheated him with Finn in view of his expression when Santana implied you in fact did" I feel again myself unable to breath properly, letting her to continue " I don't know how you feel about all of this Quinn and even though my feelings for you are…strong" again that nice tingling appears in the pit of my stomach "and even though I don't regret anything that has happen that lead us to be facing each other this way tonight; I can't keep encouraging you so egoistically, to cheat him. It's not right" she finishes, leaving me speechless.

I give her some seconds so she can catch her breath. There wasn't that much to think about. I care about Sam, I honestly do. But if I stay with him feeling the way I do for Rachel and never getting physical closer with her again…I would be cheating anyway. I care about Sam but…I care about him in a way completely different as I would have wished too since we started dating. I care about him, but not enough to actually love him.

"What do you want?" I say before anything else. I was, after all, now in hands of Rachel so there was no point on saying what I was planning to do regarding Sam if I wasn't even sure what was going on here. I don't give her enough time to articulate an answer "I want you Rachel…"I gulp finding soreness in my throat "I've wanted you for so long now…I…am sorry I've never acknowledge it before…"I sigh. Sorry is not a common thing for me to say "I'm breaking up with Sam. You're right. He is been good to me and…he doesn't deserve this" Rachel nods, hanging with every word, letting me continue "I don't want to make honor to Santana's words…I don't want you to think that poorly of me" I clear my throat in the process. Rachel's eyes look at me with concern "I want to be with you but…I think we need more time figure this out. I don't want for us to jump into a relationship when we are just going out from one"

The brunettes' eyebrows furrowed whit my last words "Although I thoroughly concur with what you just declared Quinn…Finn and I haven't—"I stop her.

"I know you said you were over Finn" I quote her words from yesterday "I believe you but…. Believe me; is better for us to take things slowly" I state. She quickly understands what I'm trying to say to her and I wish mentally she doesn't get up and leave for my constant insecurities, squeezing her hand again in a silent prayer.

She opens and closes her mouth several times, until finally giving up "We'll see what happens" is all she answers and I smile relieved, giving her a quick kiss "I think we should…try to control ourselves with this" I bite my lips with her words. I know she is right but…

"No kissing?"I say in a childlike manner, pouting in the way ignoring the fact that I was probably just contradicting myself "You're right…but…for how long?" she gives me a knowing look. I look down, nodding "After I talk with Sam.." I say in a matter of fact, trying my best not to think of his reaction when I broke things off with him without a proper explanation. Just the fact that…I couldn't give him what he wanted. At least I couldn't pretend it anymore…

"And maybe when we figure this out properly too" I close my eyes, trying not to whine. After all, making Rachel to kiss me again was a complicated task that was only accomplished yesterday. So being again prohibited off that privilege so soon was not what I was expecting.

"Whatever you want" I smile softly, ignoring my discomfort over this new rule.

I tried my best to stay awake after all the confessions made in this room. Mono was getting the best of me but Rachel was getting under my skin more quickly making me shiver with the way her eyes kept looking in my way, which was again, just a few centimeters away from me. I didn't want to fall asleep just yet. All I wanted was to return her gaze as long as my strength let me. I exhale deeply as her fingertips played over the skin of my face, closing my eyes with her touch.

"Happy Valentine's day Quinn" her voice came in a soft whisper making me feel warm inside and, as a first way to proof her I would follow her one rule, I kissed her knuckles with so much care it was like I was just kissing smoke, afraid that applying more force than necessary, it would go away from my touch.

"Happy Valentine's day Rach" I repeated, watching her reaction that consisted in a dreamily smile. That was enough for me to surrender, finding myself in a deep darkness….

"Hey!"I heard Sam call me with care. I smile at him, getting closer.

"Hi" I greet him earning a soft kiss on my cheek. My heart thumped in my chest nervous and guilty by this gesture of my still sort-of-boyfriend. Now I was forcing myself to not freak out with our closeness as he just kept that goofy smile on his lips.

"So I wanted to confirm our date on Friday on "Color Me Mine" "he informed gleefully as I realized I wasn't the only one nervous.

I look at him surprised "Wait…you were serious about that?" I ask trying to be cool about this as I have been doing lately.

"Its paint coasters time!" he chuckled and my heart sank with remorse, the words unable to leave my sudden dry mouth "So…do you get the Friday?"

I gulp, millions of thoughts running through my head with how bad I was feeling with all of this "Yeah…I think so. I-I don't think I have anything else to do" I stutter, keeping a nice smile, looking away unsure of what to do when he kisses me again in the cheek, as he is clearly trying to respect my request of "we are on a break".

Taking this as a cue, I leave his side with a frozen expression, ignoring all the people passing me by as well as I ignore the gaze he is sending me as I go; the love he radiates hitting me like a tons of bricks. Since that talk with Rachel in my room a couple of weeks ago, things didn't go as easily as I assumed they would for me regarding said brunette and the boy that just never seemed to get annoyed with me in anyway. Rachel told me that she would give me time and space for me to understand what I was feeling, which I later found out meant she would let me think of a way to break up with Sam, or in other words, to have a well deserved closure with the boy. At the beginning, knowing full well what I felt for her was more than just a crush or some crazy impulse of lust; I thought my decision wasn't going to take long for me to do. It was, after all, the right thing to do for the three of us. Rachel was, now I could believe her, completely over Finn. And apparently our little agreement didn't say anything about secret glances every time we were in the same room, nor the innocent flirting we found ourselves in every conversation we held…as well as some physical contact. Rachel, thankfully, didn't even look at Finn anymore. Instead, all her sweet attention was focused on me and hell all my attention was now on her. So yeah, my first thought was that breaking up with Sam would be easily.

I was so wrong.

He, just like Rachel said, got really suspicions and mad over the whole "Tell me if you kissed Finn" thing. When he said that to me I knew that was my perfect opportunity to speak up my mind and in all my old fashion Fabray way, it was even the best change to ease some of the guilt I felt towards the matter itself. I could have easily said something along the lines of "how could you think that low of me Sam? Can't believe you don't trust me! I think is better if we end things up since you think I'm now cheating you with not other than Finn Hudson". It could have been, in anyone's eyes, the perfect excuse. I wouldn't…hurt him that much. I mean maybe his dignity wouldn't have suffered if I had instead opted with option B which was me confessing I had feelings for Rachel.

But my mind had other plans and just before I knew it a perfectly dumb story was coming from my personal and sick imagination that had an almost choked Finn…with a gumball for dear God's sakes, as I was trying to be a nice teammate, fishing said bubblegum with my…mouth.

Okay, maybe I knew what I came up with that story. Still at first I had no clue by I was making things more complicated.

As I finished my story, my mind barely registering what just came from my lips in such a patriotic tone(like I actually did what story Quinn did) and waiting from Sam's reaction, a cruel slap hit me in the face with what my eyes were witnessing from him.

"I totally almost choked on a gumball once"

It took those eight simple words to pull me down to reality. I took that simple innocent and full of care smile he sent me as he did his best to ease some of the tension he thought he created out of nothing. To put me once again in a pedestal, glorifying me with a bright in his eyes; to forget for an instant about what was going on between me and Rachel as I look, once again, to that guy who was crazy about me, not matter how much I knew he knew I was lying to him. He just cared about me too much to believe me fully, and maybe he didn't realize it now but deep down he saw behind my lies.

My whole plan crumbled down with that as I did my best not to hide from the shame I was feeling. My very selfish plans that consisted on making Sam hate me in order to make the whole breakup thing easier. He would hate me for lying to him, but at the same time he would never be sure about it either. He would hate Finn and me, and in the end Rachel would be out of this, never knowing anything about the real explanation of how I got mono and how I was manipulating so many people at the same time.

But no, instead he rubbed in my face how true love was about forgiveness, trust…feeling secure enough about you and never thinking the worst of the other when history tells you so.

I didn't want Sam, just to be clear about it. I wanted so badly to end things with him but after that stupid lie of mine and the way he reacted about it was getting harder for me to do it.

And so, I told Rachel, fearful that if I kept things from her she would likely turn around and leave me. I didn't want that at all. I lo...like her a lot for doing such a stupid thing. It was just my stupid self that didn't let me think straight.

At first she seemed confused on to why I made up that story and of course she gave me a lecture about the matter of complicating things more than necessary quoting those old short stories with a moral in the end, which I thought was one of the cutest things she's done till far. But, thankfully, she encourages me to explain it to her with understanding eyes and welcoming eyes. You see, the problem was with his now very clingy ex-boyfriend. He was the one who complicated everything since he decided to set up that kissing booth. I didn't want to hurt Rachel more with the mention of his ex. She was over him yes, but I just could picture her perfectly if she knew the real reason I got mono in the first place. Everyone said I kiss Finn…well Santana implied that I kiss Finn and so everyone thought so too.

I did kiss him and I can't help but to shudder with that thought in my mind every time he tries now to invite me to dinner, his insistent messages and his, now I knew, glances that were never meant to be for Rachel(most of them), for how long I'm not sure of, but were actually targeted on me. He kissed me, to be more correct, since I remember clearly pulling myself about from him when he did that stupid move at the auditorium.

I was so sick and tired of this game I was playing with Rachel and I felt so hurt when I saw her trying to kiss Finn at the booth that, just when I thought I was going to do the proper thing to do for Rachel's happiness; I got mono from an unrequited kiss from the boy I thought Rachel was still madly in love with and, now you can see, this tangled web of lies.

Once I left Finn's lips, after all the fireworks I felt and to add more pain in my heart, after I saw her instead of the guy in front of me…I just had to confront him as soon as possible. So before I knew it, I was sneaking around so I could meet Finn at the auditorium. His intentions were clear to me for that moment when he approached me with a smirk as I saw everything in a different when he wrapped his arm around my waist, our foreheads touching each other in a very intimate position I quickly felt uncomfortable to be in.

All this time I was so worried he was trying to gain Rachel back when he actually was after me. He was soon trying to persuade me to cheat Sam with him and I seriously couldn't believe what he was saying. Didn't he, after all, break up with Rachel because she cheated him with Puck?

"Do you still have feelings for Rachel?" I asked him, getting mad with the whole situation. He looks down on me, that cocky grin never leaving his face.

"I have feelings for you" I try to keep a fair distance between us as we walk around that odd lamp I just couldn't understand why it was placed in the middle of the stage with no particular purpose. Right now it only seemed to be a very well needed obstacle between me and Finn.

I smile, unable to believe this. There she was Rachel…no. He had this amazing girl and he didn't care at all. This girl who was willing to forgive him, to stand his hypocrite and proud persona and well…just this dream girl whom he didn't deserved at all and instead he only cared about a way to persuade me to cheat on my boyfriend, thinking for a reason I didn't knew about, I liked him too "Do you realize this is making me a cheater right?... I can't believe you Finn. Are you willing to turn your back to someone who loves you blindly and stands all your…"I try to stay calm. He seems confused with what I'm saying, but that's not surprise for me "for someone who lied to you like I did? For someone who is known to be a manipulative person who used you selfishly? You do really don't care about her feelings at all?"And for some odd reason, I want him to say no but at the same time I want him to say yes. If he didn't care about Rachel anymore, the all this trip of encouraging Finn to pursuit her once again was not at all necessary and instead it would be me after Rachel again, trying to make her see that this guy wasn't worth her love. Still, if he said yes that would mean I could at least help Rach to be happy…at least be the reason to get them together once again. Either way, I wasn't sure if Rachel would want me….At least I was trying to do something that would make her happy. I was just trying to be part of her blissfulness before pretending nothing ever happened.

As I kept ranting about how stupid Finn was being for choosing me over Rachel, I felt his lips push into mine, my body as well. Seconds later, I was pushing him aside, running away from the place as fast as I could, and knowing full well that was going to get me later on.

And so…I got mono.

I told Rachel part of the truth saying I panicked with Sam's confrontation over why I got sick. You can guess which part I kept in the dark was. I was afraid of so many things. That she would get mad at me for lying to her and to Sam. That she would be disappointed. Or maybe that she would think I was using her in order to get closer to Finn. The rumors about something going on between the ex-cheerleader and the star quarterback were already spreading at the school. But mostly, I was afraid that I would hurt her. Telling that you ex-boyfriend whom you loved was now after the girl you liked, who also happened to be her ex-boyfriend too …I just thought it was pointless. She didn't have to know that. There was something strong between us, end of story. Finn shouldn't be a problem anymore…Except for the fact that he's still in the picture.

Now I'm not so sure of what do about it without pushing her away from me.

So we made a deal. I was going to ask Sam to give me some time to think about several things (no questions asked) and when I felt the time was right, I would end things with him and meanwhile Rachel would pretend she didn't care about my interactions with him. It was her idea as she said it was the perfect and more subtle way to do it after that story and so I agreed. I was surprised she didn't get mad at me though, but I guess she already saw this one coming from me. After all I was the one reminding her of how messed up I was sometimes regarding getting close to someone, and if you add the fact that I was getting closer to not other than Rachel Berry…I just think she knew it from the beginning and maybe that's why she didn't say anything when I assured her that by the end of the week, I would be all hers.

The moment I spotted Quinn entering through that door alone, my famous mega watt smile formed in my face as not some few seconds later I was in front of her, controlling myself as much as I could as not to touch her in some intimate way like we agreed.

"Hi Quinn" I greeted her sweetly, ignoring completely the lack of blush in her face like I constantly manage to put in her face since the day we confessed our feelings to one and other. She scanned the room behind me which was still empty as somewhat nervous.

I felt her arms wrap around my body in a hug that took me by surprise. Quinn was very affectionate with me one way or another; but still something felt off in her today.

"Hi" she breathed out as she pulls away from me, keeping a safe distance between our bodies. I tilt my head unsure of this foreign mood swing of hers.

"Are you okay?" I ask her, brushing lightly my fingertips in her arm. She bites her lip softly as I wait for her answer. I then furrow my brows, one name coming to my mind.

I get closer just with the purpose if keeping this as private as possible even though no one was here to listen to my whisper.

"Is this about Sam?" And for some odd reason, a tingling feeling that could be happiness settles in my chest, wondering if Quinn finally did what she proclaimed it was going to be done considering the way she felt towards me and how she didn't want to keep the title of "cheater". I knew Quinn's background suggested that maybe letting her have her way with Sam and the break up situation wasn't the wisest decision. Or maybe Quinn's little story of the gumball was proof enough that she wasn't ready for any of this. But still, I trusted her. It was…foolish I know because after all we were still sneaking around everyone's back. Well…at least the people that didn't knew anything.

She finally nodded, opening her mouth in an attempt to explain herself "Rachel yo—" but we were soon interrupted by the arriving of our fellows glee teammates; by one particular person actually.

"Please, get a room" say an annoyed Santana passing us by, not really paying that much attention to our closeness, but mainly just being a..

"Bitch" hissed under her breath Quinn, sending daggers to the Latinas back. I rolled my eyes at this.

But no, this was actually not the person I was talking about. I was used to Santana's comments and interruptions that…it was actually weird not to have one of those in any conversation I held with the blonde.

"Hi Rachel" I look up to my ex boyfriend innocent eyes. Or at least that's the expression he's been wearing for a while now every time he gets close to me and Quinn "Hi Quinn" he smiled kindly at her as Quinn shift her weight, getting uncomfortable by the presence of Finn. I still couldn't get why sometimes Quinn wanted to kill Finn and then she suddenly seemed that she wanted to disappear under his gaze. I didn't mind when she got a bit jealous and protective over me though but I surely didn't comprehend this reaction at all. Sure she felt culpable about making up that story and she apparently make Finn agree to it since the boy never deny it either but…it wasn't like she owe him something. He was the one that got her sick after all.

"Hello there Finn" I acknowledge him before turning my gaze to the girl in front of me, not really in the mood to start a conversation with the boy. I was over him but that didn't mean I was ready to start talking to him like nothing happened. Besides whatever Quinn was trying to tell me was far more important right now.

She glared at him as she noticed my confusion "Finn" again with the swing moods. It was almost as she wanted to push him aside with her eyes. Surprisingly enough, Finn got whatever message Quinn was trying to send him without, I guess, starting a fight over nothing. With a small nod, he left us. It was obvious that this conversation was going to be postponed. Too many people around us…

"What is she doing here?"I quirked an eyebrow following her gaze until my eyes meet not other that our tormentor Sue Sylvester taking a seat in a far corner like she somewhat was going to take a class with the rest of us.

I don't like this at all…

But you know what I find extreme disturbing besides the fact that Mr. Schue clearly has lost his sense of self preservation, logic and intuitions, letting that woman become "part" of glee club out of nowhere. It was pretty damn suspicious for me…for all of us really and to be honest…I don't like the way she is looking at me.

I gulp as I turn away, ignoring Ms. Sylvester threat to Santana about her breasts.

I was a forgiving person. It was just my nature. But still…I wasn't fond of her presence in one of my most sacred places. It just didn't feel right in anyway. Of course, Mr. Schuester being his normal self was just going to ignore our complaints.

Just… splendid. And now I must try to ignore the fact that Sam is next to Quinn, giving her that look of hopefulness. Why are they even together right now? I thought that Sam got it when Quinn said she needed some time to think. He had been doing a wonderful job…wait.. Is this what Quinn was trying to tell me? I wrinkle my forehead, trying to put the puzzle together, but failing miserably. ….wait what about anthem's? I snap my head up focusing in Mr. Schue words, raising my hand just as immediately, earning (why I'm even surprised) nothing at all.

And now why they are so extremely close to one another? I kept asking myself watching the two blondes a few chairs ahead of me, gripping my own with force as I felt the jealousy fill me. Strange, not even with Finn I got this jealous…and we were actually together. Well of course ignoring his escapades with Santana. Then I was beyond furious…

Sam raised his hand suddenly "Mr. Schue?"

"Hey, Sam. I didn't even notice your new hair cut" and to be honest..He wasn't the only one who noticed that just now. It reminded me of someone actually…

"Yeah, I've been working on a new image for my new one man band "Justin Bieber Experience" Right, now I remember…he is joking right?

"You got to be kidding me" Quinn looks at Sam horrified and shock at the same time and also as she wanted to disappear. Every one continued with their complaints and mockery towards Sam's statement as he explained himself. It was obvious Quinn wasn't at all pleased with what she was hearing. I smirk internally. I felt bad when Quinn got that uncomfortable, but I also knew that jealousy didn't suit me well. Besides, this meant that any scenario that crossed my mind just a few seconds ago was potentially wrong.

Ohh wooaah... Ohh wooaah...

Oh God...this is not hapenning...this is really not happening. Sam is not about to sing that song...I thought as my eyes tried to look anywhere except my "boyfriend's" eyes, who look at me intensly while playing his guitar. Is this some sort of punishment? Im sure it is...Pregnant..mono...a guy about to serenade me with a Justint Beiber song while the girl I been cheating him with looks between mad, confused and relived.

You know you love me, I know you care
Just shout whenever, and I'll be there

Finally I let my eyes connect with his, my heart beating up fast with the meaning of the words. I've never took the time to listen to the lyrics before... I did care about him and he needed to know that when..I tell him.

You want my love, you want my heart
And we will never ever ever be apart

Why now? Why is he singing this now? I'm very confused already...more confused than I was from the begining...I feel a much guiltier. I know what he is doing...its sweet but...please dont make this harder than it already is. God what's is wrong with me? You never wanted him..you like the idea of him...

Are we an item? Girl quit playing!
"We're just friends"? What are you saying?
Said there's another and looked right in my eyes

He pull me by the arm with care, screaming for my attention, his eyes boring me deep into my soul smiling like he always does when we are this close. I smile at him nervously...maybe because I was actually moved with his gesture or maybe because he didnt really knew how accurate his words were.

My first love broke my heart for the first time,
And I was like

I hate to admit this. I really hate it...because after all I know what is going to happen but...this is one of the most romantic gestures Sam's ever done for me...ever. Doesnt matter I hate this song...or...that right now he's making a big fool of himself dancing like that...he looks kind of cute...no...stop..this is just going to make it more difficult. I like Rachel a lot more than I've ever liked someone, including this guy singing the first song excusivly dedicated to me. It's nor fair for him..and Rachel for that matter. Neither of them deserve my inability to take a desicion.

I thought you'd always be mine, oh oh

Oh God he knows! He knows there's something going in on and now he is trying to get her back...and by the looks of it...is damn working! Why are you smiling like that Quinn? I understand, putting aside his choice of music, this is a really romantic gesture to make but...at the begining she didnt seem to enjoy this at all and now...she is giving him those eyes... Now im remarkably jealous over this. I seriously want to punch Sam in the face and I have no right obviously. She is not my girlfriend…I don't know who the hell I am in this situation at all honestly: lover? ...friends with benefits? …What am I for her? She told me she wants to be with me…why is she now soo…flustered over this?

And I wanna play it cool, but I'm losin' you
I'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any ring

Wait...is there an accurate meaning in all of this...did they finally break up and he is now having a hard time to accept it or...

The ring….oh god I forgot about it…that I some sort of engaged with Sam..or at least he thinks we are…Why did I ever accepted that at all? Couldn't he just keep it cool back then? I'm such an idiot. I'm going to break his heart and the moment he finds out about Rachel…what I'm going to do?...why can't I ever be sure about something?

And im in pieces, baby fix me
And just shake me til' you wake me from this bad dream
I'm going down, down, down
And I just can't believe
My first love won't be around

Im gone...Now Im all gone

I couldn't suppress the chuckle when I saw him playing with his hair. I couldn't help to feel something turn inside me when he said those last words. And why I suddenly feel this moved with what's he's doing? Why did he choose now to sing a song to me and make a mess in my head?

The song was about to finish, and even his words meant otherwise, his warm gaze made me smile….

I didn't even noticed Sam taking a seat next to me again, nor did I notice the bell ringing and everyone getting up. Sam didn't say anything about my silence as he apparently seemed please with it.

"See you later" I look up at him, smiling softly as he quickly returned the gesture. I the sighed, getting up. He understood that I wanted to talk to him as he took a step towards me. Just when I was building up the courage to talk, something got my attention.

Rachel's brown eyes look at me with hurt, her gaze going from me and then settling on Sam with furrowed brows and an angry expression. She took a deep breath, holding something I couldn't put my finger on. She smiled humorous, sigh that I didn't like at all, as she then performed one of those diva storm outs without another glance towards me.

It took me some seconds to fully understand what just happened. My heart pound in a panicky motion, my legs unable to make a move I so desperately wanted to make.

Go after her Fabray!

"Quinn?" I heard Sam say confused, trying to catch my attention again. I look at him again, getting uneasy with what I just witnessed.

Shifting uncomfortably, my eyes unable to leave the door "We'll talker later okay" is not a question. I can't afford that right now. Finally my legs are working.

"S-suree…"said Sam dumbfounded, watching me go hurriedly.

Just when I reach the door, I stop in my tracks, knowing at least I owe him this much. No, wait…I wanted to say this.

"Thanks for the song Sam" I say sincerely. He seems distracted for a second, just like he was thinking about something more than necessary but just when the words reached him, a lopsided smile formed in his face. I didn't wait for a reply.

I feel like an idiot…no…I feel worse than that.

Who I was kidding? Of course this was bound to happen! How could I've even fool myself with this crazy fantasy? I should have known better the moment Quinn seemed hesitant with ending it with Sam.

My phone vibrated, announcing yet another new message. I sigh, reaching for the little device. I wasn't surprised when I saw her name blinking on the screen. I didn't even bother to look the content of the message this time. I needed to think about this…

Why I was this shocked? I was fully aware a situation like this could come between the progresses of sort-of relationship with Quinn. Both Kurt and Mercedes warned me about this even before I came to a decision with the girl. She was fragile when it came to her feelings...But I just couldn't keep using that excuse to forgive her actions.

Honestly…I feel like she just cheated on me! And why? We are obviously, painfully so, not together. Sam is still her boyfriend, although she has been doing a great job to spend more time with me than with him. Either way, they have a real relationship. For heaven's sakes! I would have done just the exact thing (although my taste in music is highly more exquisite) if, hypothetically, I was in a romantic relationship with Quinn. I would have sung more than one song to woo her all over again. I would have take her to a romantic dinner, or bought her flowers and chocolates (ignoring I was going against my vegan beliefs).. or maybe just do all of them. Maybe I would have just cook her dinner..with candles and music…I'm actually a great cook if I can say it myself…well that's beside the point! I know I'm a romantic person. I understand Sam's actions and if his little performance wasn't jeopardizing these beautiful feeling right now, I would have even enjoyed it like everyone else (except for the boys and especially Finn)

Right now I feel threaten and the worst and most exasperating part is that I really can't do anything about it. Not with Quinn's insecurities, guiltiness and…everything else in the way. I feel the hurt nestling in my heart by the reality of the circumstances. Quinn could've sworn to me she didn't like Sam any longer but it was evident that wasn't the case. I believed her when she said that to me. Who am I kidding? I could've believed she was in love with me that time in her room. I just…felt so secure lying next to her, our hands interlocked as our eyes seemed never get tired of admiring the one's in front of them. I surely never get tired of Quinn's striking hazel eyes.

Okay stop… you are supposed to be infuriated at her.

And now what I was going to do? Wait another week? Or maybe wait a month until she came to a resolution? I like her so much its terrifying…I've never felt this way before. Not even with Finn…I don't give too much reflection about that. I can barely believe that was even possible. And the fact that I feel this way to none other than Quinn Fabray didn't help me to calm down at all. I wish I could help her in some way but I've told her how I feel and so has she. What else can I do? I surely won't force her and I'll be losing my mind if I ever asked Puck's help to make someone jealous. It never ends up well.

I was hoping her words were true, but deep down I knew she was just trying to get a hold in me. She was trying to reassure her feelings towards me with promises she wasn't sure she could do as easily as she proclaimed. She likes me, I know she does. She wouldn't have put so much effort in getting my attention. In making me start "the talk"…right?

Of course she likes you! She is Quinn Fabray! Why would she endanger her name even more by pretending to have feelings for you? It doesn't make sense at all! She is not in the cheerios anymore and I'm sure that someone finding out what's been going in is not going to help her in anyway.

Little voice in my head is right….I should really stop talking with myself thought…how long have I've been in my locker actually? But I mean, why would she keep sending me texts and the ten missing calls are proof enough that she's fond of me.

So why the hell she look so in love with Sam when he sang to her? Or better yet: why it seemed she wanted to have a heart-to-heart conversation when glee came to an end yesterday? Why didn't she chase after me the moment I left the place, trying to keep my calm?

No. I can't wait another week for her. I want to, I really do. All this new discoveries are difficult for her. I don't know if she is gay or bisexual or…please let not be that; just curious. But she has expressed more than once that she enjoys all our encounters in interactions (although we haven't kiss since Valentine's Day just as we agreed) So I'm sure this is making everything even more complicated. But how I'm supposed to wait for her when everyday that goes by without her taking a decision I feel I'm losing her?

"Rachel!"Her voice cheered happily, waking me from my trance "Finally! Where have you been?" she asks, pouting her lip as she looks down at me "Why didn't you answer my phone calls? Or texts for that matter?"

Ignoring the part of my body that just wanted take her in a claiming kiss, I straight myself, lifting my chin "Sorry Quinn. I was busy" Great, keep your calm…and why did you just apologized for? Crying like a baby yesterday over her? "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to be late for class" and with that, I turn around really to have some alone time again with my mind.

"Hey..Can I walk you?" she asks shyly and astonishingly, I don't find her chivalrousness cute at all. At least I know I can be mad at her.

I shake my head, while walking, not caring I had no destination at all, clutching my books against my chest "Don't worry Quinn, I'll be just fine" I state without emotion in my voice.

Suddenly Quinn is in front of me, her eyes scrutinizing my face with a flash of sadness in them.

"What's going on? Why are you avoiding me?" she asks, her voice cracking a little. I don't like how she is looking at me…like I was the one giving spellbound eyes at my…whatever.

"I'm not avoiding you" she gives me a knowing look "Now if you don't mind…"

I feel her hand take mine, drawling my body closer to hers in an attempt to keep this in private.

"Is this about Sam?"She whispers, her hand still on mine.

"Sam? What about him? I don't know what you are talking about" I make no attempt to go away from her grasp. Unfortunately, I love it too much.

"Because you stormed out when you saw us and after that you been doing one hell of a job avoiding me"

I look at the floor "I'm not avo-"

"Yes you are!"She hissed, startling me. Realizing her actions, she takes a deep breath before speaking again "Please Rach…tell me..what did I do?"I scoff. Was she really asking me that? "Fine. So this is about Sam"

"This is about us! Sam shouldn't be in the way anymore" I growl, keeping my voice down as best as I can manage. Thankfully no one pays attention to our weird conversations in the hallways anymore. After all me and Quinn have being engaging in civilized conversations for a while now. Not that this one is entirely civilized but…all the same.

"So it is about Sam" she states again, her hand finally leaving mine. I miss the contact, but I don't do anything about it as I am far more exasperated with this conversation that seems going nowhere good.

"It is about him, happy?" I snap, realizing this is not fair at all. Why I'm dying to just touch her and forget about everything? Some reassure my body is craving for…

"Whatever you think you saw, it's not what it looks like" she informs me with pure honesty. Or at least that's how her voice sounds to me. Right now I don't know what to think anymore.

I sigh. It was good till it lasted. So much for being independent…I need to change that. I like her but..I don't want another relationship where I'm as clingy as a chimpanzee, unable to stand my ground.

"Elaborate please, because yesterday you seemed pleased by his actions. Actually, it seemed exactly how it looked like!"I shake my head, getting annoyed "You know what? Forget it. It's none of my business. You are not mine, I'm not yours. He is just being a good boyfriend and-now why are you smirking?" I ask her mad. She bats her eyelashes, playing that innocent girl façade she plays when…

"Are you…jealous?" her voice is sweet and cool. I roll my eyes, not really caring why she is looking me that way. This was serious and I sure wasn't going to lose the little control I had over a sexy Quinn facing me.

"Of course I'm jealous Quinn!" she tilts her head, pleased with what she is hearing.

"Why?" I wrinkle my forehead.

"What you mean why? What would you think If.." I gulp under her intense gaze. Now seriously…what's up with her? I clear my throat, taking my eyes of her inviting lips "If Finn sang to me a romantic song asking me to fall in his arms again and I actually enjoy the performance? Then I found myself in a compromising position with him after said performance and..oh yeah I've been flirting endlessly with you days prior the event. I've admitted my feelings to you and I actually swear I was over him?"

" I would feel like crap" she admits easily, but then again, that seductive smile is not going anywhere "But this isn't about this…."I frown "You now you have me. I know you do" she smirks.

"First of all: Language. And secondly: what are you talking about? I'm sure that if the roles were reversed you would be beyond mad. Not to say how hurt you would be. And as a matter of fact, yes I've been avoiding you Quinn. And I'll keep doing it until you explain yourself" I clutch the books more tightly into my ribcage, unable to look at her.

"You're right. I would be furious about it…and you don't know how much I would love to prove you different..right here..right..now" she whispers in my ear. Ignoring the fact that I'm officially turned on by her words, I roll my eyes at her.

"You could. The problem is the fact that you are unable to do something about it. Actually, that's the only reason we are even having this conversation so I'm sorry if I'm not convinced with that poorly articulated justification" I inform her with a stern look.

Wait a minute…is…did she just shrugged at me?

"What can I say? Sam's an artist" and that just really hit home. And seriously, sexy Quinn is absolutely forgotten.

"An artist? Did you seriously just compared my impeachable talent over a boy who sang you…I feel awfully insulted right now" I say dramatically…but not really. I actually feel unfairly offended with that comment "And what kind of elucidation is that Quinn?"I growl under my breath, feeling my cheeks get warm and I definitely not blushing right now.

She rolls her eyes "Oh Rachel, we both know what's this is about" I wait confused for her next words. "You are jealous…"

"Yeah I'm pretty sure we discussed that like…four minutes ago" I say sarcastically.

"Because you wish you could've come up with something like that before he did..you know.. "she smiles again sweetly at me.

I gasp mortified "Me? Jealous? Because of the "Justin Bieber experience"?...are you mocking me Quinn?"

"Look, I thought it was gonna be stupid too. But he was so…shameless" I arch my eyebrows at this "He just got up there and owned it…it was sexy" I feel the urge to take a step back feeling more wounded than before. Here she was, the girl I was just starting to fall for…saying his stupid boyfriend was sexy? "I think you are jealous that you didn't got the chance to make me feel butterflies first…remind me I should choose you and not him.."I gulp as I feel her gracious hand trailing down my arm, sending goosebumps trough my body. Even after all this..crap..is she is still fooling around with me? "…that all I need is a little push?" and just make her point clear, her finger lightly pokes my chest.

I close my eyes, trying to shake the fog in my head. Trying my best not to break in front of her… …wait a minute…what did she just implied she wants me too…

"Wha-aa-t?"I clear my throat as I start to understand her. She really is enjoying making me feel this weak isn't she?

"Sorry Rach.." and it's almost like she is apologizing for hurting my ego..and teasing my heart this way. It doesn't take much time to return to her I don't know what her angle is role "But like I'd said. Sam's an artist….and at the end of the day…"My pulse speeds up dangerously, I feel awfully aroused as her lips touch my earlobe, her hot breath caressing me in a delicious way "..it really turns me on" she purrs.

Before I know it, she is walking down the hallway leaving in her way something I can barely put a name to it….All I know is I'm smirking, the perfecto song and the perfect performance playing in my mind.

Quinn is oh so very wrong if she actually thinks she is the only teaser in here..I think to myself, turning the other way in the search of the ones that are going to help me fulfill my mistress wishes…wow…that sounds a little bit…anyway.

"Yes Noah. I need your badass image so I can woo Quinn" I say again to the overexcited boy, rolling my eyes, hands on my hips, ignoring for the fifth time his dirty gaze. Not even Brittany took this long to get it and she sure didn't image …whatever Noah is fantasizing about me and my lady.

Some No Noah you are not allowed to get any closer to me and Quinn when we are engaging in private activities as for course, you are not going to take part of them just because you are going to help me with the song later, he agreed, smirking at me.

"And Quinn actually smacked me in the face for suggesting she should fight for you Berry" I'm surprised by this confession I knew nothing about "How is puckzilla going to help you my hot jew princess to get into my baby mommas pants?" I sigh. A simple; tell me what to do would have been enough "Oh please, don't you think I know when you guy are eye-fucking each other?"

"What? That's not true!" he shrugs.

"Whatever. Can't fool me" I groan. At least he is the only one who notices this…I hope.. "Tell me Berry: what are we going to sing?"

I then find myself smiling mischievously….

Rachel Berry is, once again, becoming musically promiscuous.

Soo what do you think? Am I forgiven?I really hope i am...:).

Bit curious about what Rachel is going to sing?...

Have a wonderful day my readers!