Tainted: Konnichiwa, I am here with my first story. It's a crack paring.

Random Guy: You have the crack?

Tainted: No, not real crack. Just a metaphor.

Random Guy: Hurry up. I was suppose to pick up my daughter eight hours ago.

Tainted: o.0

Just Add Water!

Chapter One: Is that a cat? Or a human?

Sakura was busy training with her team in the team sever training grounds. It was a simple lesson on how to keep their balance on the water without sinking. Since Naruto had got trained about this before, this was a cinch for him. Back with Sakura, she wasn't doing to bad her self. Neither was Sai. Her black boots hovered above the water's surface and she waited patiently for an upcoming blow from one of her team mates.

"You ready for my kage bun-" Naruto got interrupted and was knocked back by a wave. He stumbled a bit losing his balance. "Woah, what was that?"

"I don't know. Quit making up tall tails dickless."

"Shut the fuck up Sai teme!" Roared the blond. "I'm not lying, there was something moving in the water.."

"Yeah sure. Why don't you focus jumping around waving your dick at me like last time."

"Wha? I don't know what your talking about!"

The pink haired team mate giggled at her team's childishness. Every day there was some type of argument or shouting fest between them. It was always entertaining until they drag her into it. While they trained underneath the red bridge, suddenly out of nowhere a beaver came by and built a dam around them.

Annoyed by not killing it with kunais, (Thanks to the killing beavers rule made by Tsunade.) their goals at learning something new was tarnished. So they packed up their session and heavy boxes filled with shinobi equipment then headed out the woods towards the ramen shop to party and have a great time.

Happy talks of past missions and relationships with their lovers carried across the air. But hidden near the edge of the ramen shop was a young girl with petal hair. She didn't bother with blending in with the conversation and sunk her head down on the desk waiting patiently for her meal.

Once Naruto gulped down over half his body weight worth of food, it was time to go to the bar. The pinkette had to go home causing the boys to moaning and complaing but she ignored their belly aching and left anyways. Sakura wandered down the streets towards a large complex she shared with a special someone.

While she moved down the block, something was following her. Sakura froze in mid step, blinking for a few minutes and kept walking. Meanwhile, something was patiently waitinf for her to leave some distance between them. It scurried down the concrete remembering which directions she took.

-With Sakura-

Said kunoichi entered her house and flew into the shower to wash her troubles away. She shivered under the cold water and turned the knob getting coated in a steamy mouth let out a soft sign and she stood there for ten minutes massaging her body with soap and tarnished it with steam.

Once the shower was done and out of her way, Sakura exited out the shower and walked into her room. She let the towel tumbled down her body and hit the carpet then moved over near the closet to find some night clothes. After finding suitable garments to sleep in, she traveled out her habitat and wandered down the steps to get some dinner then go to bed.

She struggled with finding the light switch and froze when a howling noise was being made from outside. Freaked out by the sound, Sakura quickly ran towards the light switch next to the stove and switched it on. Her green eyes blinked in quick blurs as she frantically looked around the kitchen trying to locate the noise.

'Hmm, maybe it was just the wind.' Thought the kunoichi with a shrug.

Sakura moved across the tiles and took out a tray filled with shrimp and started frying them on a barbecue. A few minutes passed and she flipped them multiple times making sure that the sea food was nice and golden with a wonderful texture. She took a piece off the grill and test tasted it feeding on a delicious item then turned it off and placed it on a plate.

Before leaving off somewhere, the girl put hot water in a cup creating green tea and left out the room turning off the light behind her. She back traced going in reverse and entered her room settling in her bed with a book while placing the cup of tea on a night stand. After finishing her meal and reading three chapters of the book, Sakura drifted to sleep.

-Next day-

She awoke to the annoying sound of birds chirping in her window sill. Instead of allowing them to sing rockin robin or wolf whistle at females, she stomped over and smash her fist through the glass. The birds freaked out by her mighty but useful strength and shited white piles of crap on her window sill.

"Ew! Get the hell of my window sill you dumb ass birds!"

Sakura slammed the window behind her not bothering to check her non existent glass window's remains for it has broken into tiny pieces onto the ground she dares to walk on. The pinkette continued stomping down the carpet into the bathroom. She did her daily ritual for the start of her day by going into the show to get ride of the sand bags in her eyes. Then exited out the shower in a blue towel and brushed her teeth.

Once she finished all of that the kunoichi wandered over to her wardrobe located at the left side of her room. At once her attire was chosen and she left out the house wearing a short sleeve shirt with the Haruno symbol on it and black sandals. But instead of leaving out the front, she exited through the back room into the back yard.

Since today was Saturday, her duties at the hospital ended for the current two day weekend. While the girl usually hung out with friends in the village, at the end of the day she chose gardening in the back of her own home. Gardening was her top priority because she felt that the plants were like people and needed water to grow.

Like her friends in Konoha, they had names. One was named Tsubaki, while the others were a swarm of strawberries named you guessed it, Ichigo. There was plenty more to go around making her experiences with plant life worth while. Sakura was outside on the patio watering her plants and gasped at what she found.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry." She apologized.

Shaking it's self clean, a feline sat on the rocks. It was medium sized turing out to be very handsome. What creeped her out was that the cat had the most reddest eyes you have ever seen. Rewind, did we just hear that the neko's eyes were red. Sakura rubbed her eyes and blinked not knowing what was exactly in front of her.

The cat went vocal. "Mew."

Then hoped of the rocks making its way towards her house. Sakura turned on her heels watching the cat enter the complex through her back door. Without her content. Oh hell no. Steam from the previous shower she took swept out her ears.

'Did you see what that cat just did to me?'

'Yup. It marched passed you into your house. That you bought with your hard earned yen and such..' Inner recited. 'How fucking rude!'

"Damn straight! I'm giving that kitty a piece of my mind!" Sakura raged, and stomped down the patio into her home.

The cat was no where in sight and all she could hear was water flushing out the pipes somewhere. She roamed around the down stairs area and moved up the steps. Said sound got louder and lead the pinkette into the bathroom. Her eyes blinked in surprise when the tub was being filled up by clear water. Sakura screamed when the black cat sitting on the tub fell in on purpose.

The kunochi ran towards the tub and bent down on her heels stuffing her hand into the water trying to search for him. A smile crept across her face when she landed a hit and pulled the cat up realizing that it wasn't a feline at all; But a human.

A strikingly handsome human male. The most gorgeous but familiar man she had seen or head of many long ago.

"Do you mind letting go of my penis?" Asked the human. More like commanded.

Sakura took her hand off his bare crotch. "I'm sorry, but mind telling me why your in my bath tub?.." she paused with a raised eye brow. "Uchiha Itachi."

"What are you talking about? This is my property. So scram."

She got angry. "No it's not! You get moving out my bath tub!"

Itachi signed deeply and slowly pushed him self out of the water. He closed his eyes and started thinking happy thoughts when a loud scream collided with his day dreaming. The weasel quickly sat back down and the sound subsided.

His eyes were still closed. "See. That's why I can't leave."

Sakura got an idea. "I'll give you some of Naruto's clothes. He usually stays here over the night so it'll be perfect for you."

"I am not wearing some dobe's orange jump suit."

"Fine. Just wander around naked." She replied in a huff.

Suddenly, Itachi wasn't in the tub any more and emerged in her face pushing the pinkette into a wall. Sakura tried to peel him off her body only to feel completely weak and horny under his dick grinding agianst her clothes. She looked down trying to avoid his hypnotizing gaze and a tinge of pink shot on both cheeks.

'Damn, what a penis.'

'Shut up! Quit thinking about dicks. I'm in danger here!'

'Are you gay or something? This is the most closest you'll ever get with a man!'

'Fine. I'll think of something..'

"Kunoichi."

She froze. "Y-yes Itachi sama?"

"Your Uranus is showing."

"What?" Sakura said in puzzlement and got bent over by an unruly force. She felt a sting hovering over her ass. "Hey, I'm not spank-able!"

"Gimme sex now, bitch.." Growled the male.

"Hmmm?" She questioned in confusion. "That doesn't sound like Itachi.."

"O-of course its not, mating season of the stupid cats is taking hold of me.." He growled, not sure of what's going on. "Hurry up and run before I r-rape you.."

Itachi loosened his grip on Sakura and watched her run out of the bathroom. Said pinkette left out the room into the halls and got captured by a distinct shadow. Suddenly she was sprawled on the wall breathing heavily and screamed into a hand covering her mouth.

"I told you to run.." It slurred in anger.

Sakura removed his hand from hers. "I was trying to till you appeared."

Inner noticed something. 'Oh my kami, he's still naked!'

"I forgot about that." She sweat dropped and looked at Itachi. "Since you don't want Naruto's clothes then what do you prefer?"

Itachi's eyes narrowed and the screen dimmed half way. "I want my nii san's clothes."

"You mean Sasuke teme's?"

"Hell no. I'll search for my old attire in the district." He replied flatly.

Sakura breathed a sign of relief and fainted when Itachi passed her by. He turned a corner heading for the steps still walking down the hall way with a smirk on his face. After moving down the steps the elder Uchiha continued walking in his naked glory all over her house.

Meanwhile, the pink blob was upstairs white as a ghost. She had just seen the great Uchiha Itachi, naked. And in her own home! This was too good to be true. Not like she minded it or anything, it could have been worse. Perhaps finding a Gai turned turtle will spark and forever scar her memories. So instead she picked her self up from off the wall and tracked the weasel down by his chakra surge. A flow of flickering energy was present in the living room and she found the man sitting in a chair.

Her hair bristled in anger. "Are you sitting in that chair?"

The elder Uchiha looked at her for a few seconds before turning away resuming his business with staring at the wall. Sakura blew steam, his body was leaving water droplets all over her father's chair. He had specifically told her small ass to not leave any trace of liquid on his favorite spot. Speaking of fathers, he will be home soon. Said pinkette screamed one of her deadly shrieks when she discovers a mouse running past her feet and run underneath the arm chair.

Just then, another quote went across her mind like a locomotive. 'If I spy any of Stuart Little's kins nesting under my couch, I'm getting killed tonight!' around in circles.

Itachi watched her do laps around him. "What is wrong Kunoichi?"

"Everything. My father is coming home and there's a naked guy in my house." She recited hoping that he will get what she's trying to say.

Which he ignored completely. "That's nice." and picked up a magazine from the table and started to read it.

Sakura face palmed. "Don't you want to get some clothes?"

"Naw, I'm fine naked."

'Oh yes, hard core porn in the house!'

'Shush, I need to get him out of here.'

'Why? He's hot and your hot so that would be a perfect combination.'

'I can't fall for him. He massacred Sasuke's clan.'

'So, it's good to fall in love with the baddies! Just watch Romeo and Juliet.'

'Eck, that's an American movie.'

'Ugh, your hopeless.'

Itachi took her out of her sanity. "Aren't you curious as to why I am like this?"

'That's a simple question which I will answer with something quick. Your a sex god of course!'

Sakura was literally punching her stomach in the gut. "Meh, I already know your situation."

"Really? Normally people will move right along with the plot." He said in a slight shock.

'Actually, you don't have a clue to why he's like this.'

'Shut your pie hole. It build's character.'

'Fine. Act like a bimbo who can't figure out what's going on in her own story.'

"Okay, forget that I ever said that. Can you pleas explain to me why your like this?" She sheepishly asked and froze in her own sweat on the floor.

Her ears perked at the sound of a short poof coming from the chair. Sakura pulled at her hair and ran towards the furniture finding a black cat with red eyes sitting in the middle of the cushion.

'Hahaha, too late now!'

'Tell me something I don't know..'

"Sakura, I'm home."

'I guess I don't need to tell you about your daddy.' Inner shrugged and sang a tune out of nowhere. 'Daddy's home.. home for mee..' (Omg, Usher! D:)

"Zip it inner." Sakura hissed and started looking for something. "Shit, I can't tell-"

A figure appeared out of nowhere by the door way. "Sakura? You there?"

Her body tensed up and she slowly turned around. "Y-yes daddy?"

The man was six foot two and had silver hair and blue irises of ice and water. He was wearing a white coat with a name tag exploiting his name to the entire world. People can easily tell that he conceived the child because of his love life, Akane.

He came over and hugged his daughter to death. "Ah, I'm so glad that you don't have any guys in the house today."

Sakura relaxed a bit and rubbed her father's back. "Me too father.."

'What a joke you are. There is a guy in the house.'

'Why are snitching? That's not right..'

'What? Its not like the damn man could read our thoughts..'

"Are you making those weird faces again?"

Sakura blinked for a few seconds and released her grip on hm. "Hehehe, my bad.."

"Alright. I'll be making steak for dinner tonight."

She wiped the beads of sweat off her forehead. This was getting more difficult by the second. Sakura watched her father leave the room into the kitchen and paused when a voice collaborated with her thumping heart beat. Something was waiting for her.

"Mew."

"That's right, I forgot about you."

The cat, a Bombay with short silky midnight fur climbed up on the furniture and sat down. Sakura joined in on the sitting routine and extended her hand slowly petting it's chin. Itachi didn't like this one bit but his body was telling the kunoichi other wise. He arched his back closer to her touch and flinched when a pair of blue eyes were watching him. Itachi picked himself up with his paws and dropped down from the couch disappearing from sight.

Sakura met her father's gaze with a cold one. She got up from her spot in the sofa and followed him into the kitchen. Once she reached there the pinkette sat at the table and began eating in silence wishing that a simple topic about cooking and cleaning will be voiced. But she knew better and that her father was waiting for the right moment to pull the rug right from under her.

"Where did you get that cat from?"

Should she answer the man with the same angry tone she gave Naruto and her comrades? Or give the man her sweet angelic voice like when she was a child interacting with her father.

She gave him just what he wanted. "I bought him from the pet store."

"Did it have to be a tom? You should have gotten a queen."

There was something very wrong with that comment he gave her. Not like she gave a damn what he thought about her choice.

'Sheesh, what's his problem?..'

'Don't mind him. He's always like that.'

'Why don't he get a queen then! Opposites attract, you know?'

Sakura crossed said arms around her chest. "What ever your doing to try and change my mind, it's not working."

The man had a pathetic scowl over his face when his daughter got up from the table and threw her used napkin at him. He stared at the barely eaten stake that was suppose to fill him up to only leave him unsatisfied.

For his daughter has moved on with a cat..

Hello, if this is your first time reading the story, this is the newly improved prologue. (Updated: 3/22/11)

I will be working on the other chapters as I go along.

New readers can still review if you want.

Signed, Xx-Tainted Neko Chan-xX