"How the fuck are you supposed to do this!" That was Kurt walked into when he stepped into the Glee room. He was late- albeit still earlier than - so everyone else had already gotten there and settled into their appropriate little groupings and he assumed that they'd all be waiting for their teacher to arrive- as usual.

Instead what he found was Santana, Brittany, Rachel, Quinn, Tina and Mercedes seated in a little circle in front of all the chairs, and Santana...what the hell WAS she doing? Her face was twisting and her cheeks were squirming, she looked as if she had just eaten a really sour lemon and was swirling it in her mouth to keep tasting it for some un-godly reason. And Brittany was holding a bowl of...
Cherries?

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" He asked, eyebrows raised above his hairline as he wondered what exactly his friends could give him to explain this. At the sound of his voice, the majority of them looked over to him, except for Santana who was still doing whatever the hell that was supposed to be.

Puck plastered his ever so famous grin that was a cross between cocky, smug, perverse and sedcucti-annoying all at the same time. "What's it look like, Hummel?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"The girls are trying to tie cherry stems with their tongues." Finn chimed in, not sparring a glance at his step-brother as his eyes remained glued to the girls.

'Ah, Heterosexual males and their hormones.' Kurt thought dryly. "Well, that explains that. Now- why the hell are you doing this exactly?" "Mmph mph! Mmph!" came Brittany's reply, which was muffled by the abundance of cherries she had shoved in her mouth. 'Is she trying to tie...you know what, never mind.'

Santana rolled her eyes as she helped Brittany cough up cherry pits. "Because the ginger-"

"?" Kurt interrupted her to ask

"-Yeah, sure. She said that Schuester had to go home. Something about the pipes in his house bursting, or something." She explained, though she clearly didn't care. "We needed something to do."

"And where'd you get the cherries?"

Everyone paused, and Puck just chuckled slightly and grinned. "You don't want to know." he said with a smirk.

Kurt was pretty damn sure he was right, mostly because he didn't think it'd make any sense at all.

Mercedes spoke as she patted the seat next to her, where Kurt promptly sat himself "The problem is that none of us can do it." He looked bewildered. "None of you? Not even Santana or Brittany?"

Well, Brittany didn't surprise him much. He knew the girl was good at kissing- firsthand experience and all. But currently, she was trying to tie the entire cherry in a knot, while Santana made sure she didn't choke. Yeah, she wasn't getting it anytime soon.

He had to admit, he wanted to try, if only slightly. I mean, he'd never really kissed anyone other than Brittany, and she had done all the work at the time. So he figured he probably couldn't do it, so why bother trying?

So you can imagine his surprise when he heard "Why don't you try it, Hummel?" In the ever velvety voice of Noah Puckerman.

He stopped.

Turned.

And stared at Puck as if he had just grown another head. Or an afro. Because that would be more horrifying in this day and age than anything else. "What?"

"I said, why don't you try it?" Puckerman repeated with a grin which almost looked...seductive? No, totally not that. Because that would mean Kurt was admitting Puck was attractive, which he totally was not!

...Okay, maybe a little. Back to the issue at hand.

"Why would I do that, Noah?" He asked, trying not to get flustered by the way he said his first name. It wasn't a big deal; he said it all the time. It was just to mess with him. It wasn't as if he liked the way his name sounded when he said it or anything like that.

Puck just shrugged. "I thought you could do it, is all."

"And why would you think that?"

"…No reason." It's not as if he fantasized about the things Kurt's tongue could do.

Psht, what made you think that?

For the moment, Kurt ignored how oddly Puck was acting, as he grabbed a cherry from out of the bowel and popped it in his mouth, pulling it off the stem with his teeth. He made quick work with eating the cherry, popping the seed out of his mouth and putting the cherry stem in.
Meanwhile, everyone was staring, waiting to see if he could do it or not. The majority of the girls doubted it since, if they couldn't do it, why could Kurt? I mean, he's never even kissed anyone before-

"Oh look, I got it."

And they all stopped and stared as Kurt popped his tongue which was still slightly red from cherry juice out of his mouth, with a twisted little cherry stem perched on the tip.
Well, damn.

"Bullshit!" Santana yelled, flipping a chair over, about to go pounce of Kurt before she noticed Brittany was choking again and had to stop to help her.

"Damn, white boy!" Mercedes said with a snicker, thwumping Kurt on the back a bit.

"Dude." Was the very articulate response Finn gave.

And what did Puck, the ever so brilliant Puckasaurus, manage to spit out?

"Dude, I am seriously turned on right now."

And everyone stared at him. Some in shock, some somewhat disturbed, Finn looked like was going to slit his throat and Kurt looked somewhat similar to a tomato. Finn was glaring at him with the hot brotherly intensity of one thousand suns, but Puck ignored him as he got up from his seat and made his way over to the tomato boy. He smirked as he leaned down, and whispered huskily against the shell of his ear. "Want to go find out how good that tongue of yours is?"

Of course, Kurt didn't have much chance to object, since Puck just picked him up off his chair- ignoring a slight yelp of protest and Finn's death threats- and carried him out of the classroom.

For the next few minutes, everything was silent and still. When someone finally moved, it was Mike. He silently stuck his hand in his pocket, and grabbed five dollars. He swivelled around in his chair and grumbled, handing the bill to Santana. "Here, you win- You were right." The Latina smirked as she happily took the money and shoved it down her shirt, into what people assumed was her bra.

"Of course I am. My Gaydars never wrong- besides, did Hummel really think I couldn't tie a cherry stem with my tongue? Please, I could tie a fucking elephant trunk if I wanted to."

No one really wanted to question how the fuck that would work.

"Puck- Puckerman-Noah!"

Puck nearly huffed- if he did huff- as Kurt struggled against his grip. He figured he wouldn't get the flailing Soprano much farther, so he took to just quickly pinning him against the wall, making Kurt gasp slightly. And he was still struggling. The taller of the two scowled slightly. "What is it, Hummel?"

"What is it? Oh nothing. I just got dragged out of here randomly against my will- and yes, struggling meansagainst my will by a man who I assumed was heterosexual, but apparently I was wrong. No reason to strugglewhat so ever" Kurt said, voice absolutely dripping with sarcasm.
Oh well, Puck found the bitch Diva thing sexy too. "There's a simple explanation, Hummel."

"Do tell."

"I'm heteroflexible."

Kurt completely dead panned. Heteroflexible. If he remembered, that meant 'I'm straight, but shit happens.'

Bull shit!

"Look," Kurt snapped, suddenly finding himself to be more than displeased, "I don't buy that who heteroflexible shit. That's just an excuse for people in denial- or better yet, people who are Bisexual! You either dig guys or you don't, Puckerman!"
Puck seemed to pause for a moment, then he shrugged. "I don't dig guys."

"Then do you kindly mind letting me g-"

"I just dig you."

Kurt paused, stopping his struggling- which had gone on during the entire conversation- for a moment to frown in confusion. "Why, because I'm feminine? Because I have pear hips? Because I was a cheerleader. Please do elaborate, Noah."
Puck scowled, pulling himself away from Kurt. "Do I seem that shallow to you?"

"Honestly?"

The elder sighed, running a hand over his almost nonexistent hair. "It ain't just that, Hummel. I mean- yeah, I totally dig your looks- you're Hot. But it's not just that. I mean, you're really cool to hang around with- you like cars and shit, despite being an honorary girl- and you kick a mean football. Seriously, why you've never done that to Karofsky and them is beyond me, you could kick a guys nuts off with a leg like that- oh yeah, and you don't take shit from no one. I mean, you get thrown in dumpsters and stuff, but you never really let it…get to you. You always pull yourself out. I dunno, I guess I kind of…admire all that shit?" After his long speech, Puck realized Kurt was staring at him and scowled slightly, cheeks flushed slightly. "That stays between us." Even being himself, Puck started to worry as Kurt just stared at him dumbly. "Oi, Hummel?"

The younger boy seemed to snap out of his stupor, as he shook his head slightly to compose himself. He thought about it for a moment, then he smirked. "You wanted to see what my lips could do, right?"

Puck blinked in surprise, but nodded.

"Close your eyes."

Trying not to grin, Puck closed his eyes, waiting for what he assumed was going to be a supermegafoxyhot make out session. He was surprised when only for a moment, he felt a light, almost feathery touch of a warm pair of lips against his- seemingly gone just as quickly as they came. He opened his eyes to see Kurt smiling up at him warmly.

"If you want more than that, you'll have to woe me first, Noah."
Noah blinked, then grinned. "That might take a while, Kurt. But I always accepted a challenge."

And it wasn't as if he was disappointed.

That was better than any make out session could ever be.