A/N: So this is basically what I think might have happened if Asuka admitted her feelings in Episode 162. Enjoy!
Confessing
I felt a sense of calmness as I looked out at the docks of Duel Academia that was near the Osiris Red Dorms. It was a beautiful sight with the lights from the ship glowing brightly at night as their colors reflected brilliantly on the water's surface. I felt relaxed by the stunning scenery around me as I waited patiently for a certain someone to return to his dorm.
"Asuka," I heard a familiar voice call my name, making my head turn from the sight to look at the very person I was waiting for.
I straightened myself up from what I had been leaning on as he moved in closer to me to close the distance between us. Noticing the curiosity on his face, I let a quick smile come to my lips.
"Judai, thanks for today," I said to him with clear generosity in voice.
"What? I didn't do anything," he responded back, confusion still laced in is voice.
I almost shook my head that.
"I wonder if Judai really doesn't know how much impact he has on a person," I thought in amusement before I decided to reply to his statement.
"Actually, thanks to you, I was able to clear my doubts," I admitted to him.
"Doubs?" he asked, looking directly at me.
I could see the surprise and even a bit of worry on his face when he asked that. This made me smile at seeing the concern for me written all over his face.
"It's nothing. It's over with now," I responded truthfully to ease his worries.
His face immediately returned to wearing a casual expression and after that we entered a peaceful silence as we both looked at the wonderful view of the docks. It was times like these between Judai and me that I'll always cherish. I wanted this moment to last just a bit longer as I knew we both would have to return to our dorms soon. But that's when it hit me. This moment would end soon and I had no idea when/if I would get another chance to have a moment like this with Judai. Graduation is drawing near and no doubt we both will become busy later on.
"What if this may actually be the last time we have any alone time together?"
I bit my lip at the thought that just entered my mind.
"I need to tell him," I thought strongly, knowing that this was the perfect time to do so.
"Judai…I…"
"Hmm," he replied while turning his head back to me.
I could see that I now had his full attention as those deep chocolate colored eyes stared right at me. Suddenly that's when nervousness begun to creep up on me as I looked right back into his eyes.
"I…you matter…"
But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get the rest of the words out. My mouth became an iron lock, no longer wanting to speak the words that I wanted to tell him. I couldn't move a muscle, each being weighed down by my nervousness.
"Asuka, are you all right?" I heard Judai ask me.
My tenseness must be greatly showing since the concern in his voice was so evident and those brown eyes now held a hint of worry in them. Yet I knew there was no real need for him to feel concern over me and it made me realize how foolish I was being. The nervousness I was feeling was redundant. I scolded myself for temporarily giving in to that feeling of fear instead of conquering it like I usually do. So I took a deep breath, pushing away the nervousness and opened my mouth to say what I needed to tell Judai.
"Judai…you matter a lot to me….more than just a friend," I finally told him as I kept my eyes locked firmly with his so that he would see the emotions I feel for him through them.
I felt a moment's relief at successfully getting it out. Gaining the courage to convey my feeling of affection to Judai was an important accomplishment for me. I had not chickened out of telling him how I felt and I was damn proud of it.
Yet my mood dampened some when I saw the expression on Judai's face becoming unreadable and that it seemed his mouth had now been the one with a lock on it. His lack of reaction was bringing back the nervousness I felt from earlier, but this time I refuse to let it take over me like it had done before. Because I knew that the hard core truth was that Judai's response could only really be a yes or a no, and whether his response was positive or negative I would have to accept it anyway.
"Asuka?"
I was quickly startled out of my musings when I heard Judai call my name. I immediately brought my attention to him once again but I still couldn't read his face. With my focus completely on him again, I could tell he was ready to say whatever it was he had to say.
"What's my favorite color?"
I was baffled beyond belief. I didn't know how to react to what he had just said.
"I just opened up my heart to him and he asks me some random question!"
"Excuse me?" I questioned in disbelief with a smidge of irritation in my tone.
"Do you know what my favorite color is?" he simply asked me again.
I wanted to pop him right then and there. Either he really couldn't tell that I was getting upset with him or he was ignoring my anger. My hands were tempting to form fists as I tried not to act out my frustrations.
"Asuka, please," sighed Judai, pleading with his eyes for me to answer his question.
I had to let out my own sigh. I just couldn't stay mad at him, especially when he is looking at me like that. So I decided to actually consider the question and to my surprise realized that I didn't know the answer. Now that I think about it I never asked him what his favorite color was, nor did I ever consider asking him.
"R-Red?" I answered, taking a guess, but by the expression on his face I might have been better off saying I didn't know.
"Brown," he answered back curtly which made me slightly flinch at the serious abruptness of his answer.
"Oh," I muttered as I avoided looking in his eyes.
I berated myself for assuming that his favorite color would be red. I should've known better than that. After all just because I was an Obelisk Blue didn't mean that my favorite color was blue, so why did I assume that Judai's was red just because he was an Osiris Red.
"What's my favorite food?" was the next question Judai popped up on me, though this one I was sure of the answer.
"Fried shrimp," I immediately answered.
"Desert?" he countered back quickly with his brow rose in challenge.
I cursed at that one. Come to think of it I don't remember seeing him eat any kinds of sweets. I bit my lip as I tried to browse my memory for any hint to the answer, only to receive none. I heard a small sigh come from Judai before he answered the question himself.
"Daifuku… What about my hobbies? What kinds of movies do I like? What books do I like to read? What do I like to do for fun besides dueling?" he wondered, staring directly at me, eagerly waiting for my answer to any of his questions.
I racked my brain as hard as I could to try to find an answer to at least one of those questions, yet no matter how hard I tried nothing came to mind. That's when realization struck me.
"We don't really know each other," I figured out, now understanding the message Judai was trying to give me through those question of his.
"I can't love him if I don't even know who he really is."
"I get it," I told him with indulgence in my tone.
A light smile made its way onto Judai's lips as he saw that I did get what he was trying to tell me. I was about to leave after that because even though I now understood that my feelings were probably just a crush, the rejection still hurt. Yet Judai surprised me by suddenly asking me another question.
"Asuka, what do you plan to do after graduation?" he wondered with a serious but interested voice, gazing at me in curiosity.
I was a little surprised by the question because I didn't expect him to ask something like that. Yet the irony of the question didn't escape me either. Judai was asking me something that he had helped me to answer for myself. This actually made a small smile form on my lips.
"I'm planning to continue my studies in America, and you're the one that helped me gain the courage to decide to go for it," I admitted to him, my smile growing more after what I had just said.
I saw the realization show in him eyes before a slight grin came on his face.
"That's great Asuka! I'm really happy for you!" he said in a thrilled voice that I haven't heard from him in a long time.
My heart warmed at seeing the happy expression on Judai's face. It reminded me of the Judai I knew before all of the Dark World stuff happened.
"Maybe he actually hasn't changed as much as I thought," I considered to myself.
"I'm glad that you know what you want to do Asuka. I'm still not sure of myself just yet," I heard him say, which throw me off guard.
"Really? I thought you still wanted to be the next King of Games," I replied seriously but with a bit of humor added in my tone too.
A bittersweet smile formed on Judai's lips as a firm look came across his face.
"Things have changed…I've changed. I don't know what I want or what I'm going to do after I leave this place," he answered in a rigid voice that made a twinge of sympathy enter me.
Yet I was stunned when he gave me a carefree look and that famous grin that we all loved so much formed on his lips.
"But then again I've never exactly been someone who plans ahead now am I?" he joked lightly yet there was an edge of truth laced in his words as well.
"I'll just go wherever I'm meant to be and do my best on whatever it is I'm going to do," Judai proudly declared with his fist pressed against his heart.
"You really haven't changed Judai. You still follow wherever the wind takes you…Unlike me who prepares ahead for what is to come," I realized with some dejection.
I smiled sadly at this, realizing Judai just gave me another reason why we wouldn't work. We had different goals and different ways to try and achieve them. At this point in our lives our goals are our main priority and we have to continue to accomplish them our own way.
"I have no doubt that you will succeed in whatever you do Judai," I stated honestly, sending him a supportive smile to let him know that I had received and accepted his other hidden message.
"Thanks Asuka, that really means a lot to me," he admitted back, giving me another one of his warms smiles that I loved so much.
Yet soon Judai's face turned severe, which made me feel a bit anxious for some reason.
"Asuka, there's one more question that I want to ask you," he told me with a serious voice.
"Alright," I replied as I was very curious to find out what he was going to ask me next.
Judai was quiet for a moment, mostly likely trying to find the right words to ask his question, before he opened his mouth to speak once more.
"Do you know what being in love with somebody means?" he asked with such severity that I became speechless.
There was absolutely no way I would dare guess an answer to this question like I did with his first one. And looking into his eyes I could tell that he wanted a serious answer back.
"I…No, I don't," I sighed admittedly in defeat.
I wasn't going to fool myself in believing that I knew about the love Judai was talking about. The closest I probably got to it is the love for my family. I haven't experienced that special love yet like I first thought I had for Judai.
Judai's eyes looked at me in consideration before he answered the question for me.
"Being in love…really in love with someone, means that you are truly committed to that person. That no matter what happens between the two of you, no matter how far or close to them you are, no matter how much time you are together or apart, no matter how many other people try to come between you two, you will never abandon or betray that person. You stay with that person no matter what," he proclaimed with a passion that I've never heard come from him before.
The feeling behind his words left no doubt in my mind of what he was telling me.
"His heart belongs to someone else," I grasped, the emotion in his eyes confirming that fact the more I stare at them.
"I understand Judai…I truly do," I announced to him with as much sincerity as possible before I decided to do a little something unexpected.
I gave Judai a quick peck on the check, which succeeded in surprising him greatly. His hand immediately covered over the area I placed my kiss on while a perplexed expression showed on his face. I let a smile came to my lips at this before I eased his confusion.
"Gotcha! Thanks for being honest with me Judai. You're a good friend," I replied with a wink while pointing my two fingers at him, shooting his own catchphrase back at him.
This caused a grin to appear on Judai's lips, understanding that the kiss was only out of friendly appreciation.
"Anytime," he said with acceptance in his voice.
I nodded affirmatively at that glad that everything had been finally settled between us. With acceptance and understanding in both our spirits, I began to take my leave to my dorm as Judai started to do the same.
"Oh yeah!" I heard Judai say, causing me to turn back to face him.
"There's one more thing I wanted to say to you too," he proclaimed positively before winking at me and giving me his signature poise.
"Gotcha! Thanks for the fun duel! You're a good friend too Asuka!" he declared with a grin, causing a smile to grow on my face as well.
He then started heading back to his dorm, only turning back to me once to wave goodbye before he jogged the rest of the way towards the Osiris Red Dorms. I waved back at his retreating form as a single tear slid down my eye. I still felt some sadness about my feelings not being returned, yet the happiness from knowing that I had a truly very special friend greatly outweighed it. I quickly wiped the tear away and resumed walking back to my own dorm, knowing that I would now be able to move on with my life without any regrets.
A/N: Hoped you've enjoyed this little one-shot. For those who are reading "The Baby Project" I've been having a little writer's block with it, but I will try and work on that story next.