Disclaimer: Dragon Age:Origins, its characters and the world of Thedas belong to Bioware. I have been inspired to see the game from a different perspective and have written from an alternate reality plotline of the events leading into the final battle in Denerim and what happens thereafter. Thank you, Bioware, for creating such a wonderful game that inspires me to keep writing.

Kadan

I sat next to the campfire and watched the flames dance in crackling flickers but its warmth only touched my face. Inwardly I was chilled and the fire would be unable to melt the iciness within. Glancing around the camp, was lonely. Most had turned in for the night to rest after a grueling day of marching in order to reach Redcliffe.

Alistair had retired to his own tent without a word. He had not been able to look me in the eye for the last two days since he ended our relationship out of principle. In order to be a good king, he had to provide the realm with an heir before he died in order to prevent further civil war and bloodshed. As a Grey Warden I would be unable to serve "king and country" in such a capacity because the taint within my body limited the chances of carrying a healthy child to term. Love was not enough and I could not force him to remain with me.

Zevran had maintained a respectful distance and avoided making lecherous comments. His behavior bordered on being brotherly, placing his hand on my shoulder whenever he noticed my downcast expression and giving it a gentle squeeze.

He had made it clear that he lusted after me, but he refused to chase me when my choice of Alistair was clear. He made harmless, teasing comments when Alistair was in ear shot to irritate him, but he never actively tried to tempt me to be unfaithful to the man I loved. For that I respected him. I could trust him with my life, but also my reputation. He would never compromise anything I did not wish compromised. Now I was free, but in pain and he remained considerate of the wounds.

That evening, he made a nebulous invitation, saying, "If ever you are ready, you are always welcome to join me. I cannot mend a broken heart, but perhaps I can soothe it slightly?" I smiled up at him, but sadly shook my head. I was not ready yet.

"No matter," he chuckled, "I am patient. For you, I can wait."

He headed to his tent alone. Lelianna and Wynne sat with me for a while, offering a smile, a song and their support. They talked of our previous struggles and how we had managed to overcome them. This too would pass. I basked in their presence, but soon they too went to their tents to sleep before morning.

Morrigan stood up and looked down at me, not unkindly, and said bluntly, "You know my mind on the matter. You are far superior to the would-be king. Love is a useless emotion and if one so worthless so readily abandons it then it was not of any value to begin with. I feel for your pain, my friend. Perhaps Flemeth's Grimoire has a potion or something to ease it?"

"I appreciate the thought, Morrigan." I admitted, to which she shrugged and went to her tent at the edge of the clearing.

Now it was Sten and I sitting across a dying fire, waiting for the dawn with my dog snoring noisily at my feet. He sat there, like an obelisk or an unyielding iron rod, staring at me, studying my face and I returned his searching gaze. How he must despise my weakness and my melancholy over losing Alistair, he who never betrayed his emotions.

"Kadan?"

His spoken word startled me. I had grown accustomed to silence with him unless I purposely chose to break it to ask Sten a question. Often he would entertain such interchanges like a man entertaining a mosquito buzzing at his ear. The silences between us had become comfortable and I no longer felt the need to fill them. It was shocking that after all this time, he was shattering the silence.

"Sten?"

"Losing the other Grey Warden's regard for you is similar to how it felt when I lost Asala." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He was not asking if I thought it was similar, he observed that it was.

"You had once said that Asala was a part of you?"

"Yes."

"Then I have to agree with your observation." I acquiesced.

"But it is also different." He concluded.

Internally part of me warned myself not to ask, but I could not resist, "How so?"

"When I lost Asala, you were able to retrace my steps, discovered who had absconded with it and retrieved it at no minor expense of time and money." He explained with a meticulous tone, "In this case, I am unable to retrieve what you have lost on your behalf."

I shrugged, "It was nice of you to consider it."

There was a pause before he offered in his usual deadpan tone, "Would it help if I beat him?"

I could not help it, I had to smile, "No, thank you."

"Could you find another? Not like him, but equally valued?"

My eyebrow cocked with that question. I was not distressed by it as much as I was intrigued, "Mayhap. I cannot say."

He continued to look at me with his almost inscrutable look that he always wore. As enigmatic as he always was, I was starting to be able to read his moods based on subtle tensions in his jaw and the softness of his eyes. Now I could tell he was carefully considering what I had said and seemed to be debating it within him.

Suddenly, without warning, he got up, walked around the campfire and got down on one knee before me, lowering himself to my eye level. With a husky edge to his usually dispassionate voice, he declared, "I am not like the elf. I will not offer you empty promises only to change them as soon as the wind turns. What I feel is foreign to me. At first I thought it was akin to the respect that I would offer a brother-at-arms, but it has been so far eclipsed by this inner warmth that I can no longer use the paltry term of `respect' to encompass it. I call you `Kadan,' because I value you in a way I have not valued any other. I am a stone, immutable, unchanging, yet you have wrought a change in me and I cannot return to what I was. The other Grey Warden cast aside what I treasure above all else, what I desire above all else. For that I despise him for the fool that he is."

Somewhere in the midst of his speech, my mouth became limp. This was the most words he had ever spoken at one time, but his words were making my heart beat faster. I had never considered Sten could feel so deeply about anything other than his honor. I had never experienced Sten like this and it was simultaneously thrilling and confusing.

"There is one point which I concur with the elf on," he finished, "for you I would wait. Nothing is more patient than stone." With that he carefully placed one large, battle calloused hand on my cheek and gently drew my face towards him to brush his lips against mine. It was the tenderest kiss I had ever experienced with any man and my breath caught in my throat. He withdrew from me then and returned to his feet. Looking down at me with soft eyes, he instructed, "Go to bed, Kadan. I will keep watch this night. Tomorrow the sun will rise and we will continue."

In a daze, unable to argue, I got up and went to my tent, feeling infinitely warmer than I had in a while.

Author's Note:

This story is a result of a two-fold Cheeky Monkey Challenge. This is in answer to the Valentine's Day Challenge and the Sneaky Cheeky Monkey Challenge from the Cheeky Monkeys of Dragon Age forum. The address is w w w. d a r k s t o r m. c o. u k/ c m d a / (just take out the spaces) and it is a blast.

I've always had a soft spot for Sten, so I figured that if Alistair dropped the ball, perhaps Sten would be interested in picking up the pieces. It started out as a one-shot and blossomed into a life of its own. I don't know how long this will take. I'm looking forward to the trip.