COMMIT

CHAPTER FOUR

The kiss didn't last long. It didn't need to, somehow. There was a shift between them, a new ease, a promise made. They broke contact in unison and exchanged a smile that reached to their eyes. At last. There was a new future to anticipate. A better one.

Sara knew–had always known–that once this barrier had been breached, this threshold crossed, there would be no turning back. Grissom did not take his commitments lightly, nor waver once they were made. Once you earned his loyalty it was yours.

"Hey," said Sara, warmly.

"Hey yourself." Grissom replied, smiling back at that pretty face. He blew out a breath and looked around, as if trying to remember where he was and how they got there. "I don't know about you, but I'm beat."

"Me too."

"It's been a helluva day. I'm not used to so many emotional...upheavals." She nodded. "Ready to go?"

"Sure. Are you, uh, okay to drive?"

"Sure, I'm not intoxicated. Well...I am intoxicated with you."

Sara grinned at him. "That was smooth." Grissom smiled back at her.

They slowly walked to his car, still holding hands. The rain had finally stopped. The drive to Sara's apartment was in comfortable silence, with little glances at each other, and secretive smiles, remembering their makeout session at the bar. Once he reached Sara's apartment, he turned to her.

"I'd like to see you outside of work. I'd like to take you on a date." Grissom spoke quietly.

"I'd like that too," she said encouragingly.

"So, dinner? As soon as we get some time off together?"

"Sounds great."

"Good."

"Good."

Sleep took them easily, in their separate beds. Sara awoke refreshed and cheerful, with only a dull headache to remind her of the shots of liquor. Grissom called as he was leaving to pick her up.

"Hi."

"Hi Grissom." He could hear the smile in her voice.

"Um, are you sure you don't want to take a night off?" he said uncertainly. "I think your supervisor would understand."

"Thanks, but...I still want to close this. I'm fine."

The case had been broken with the discovery of the nurse's sexual relationship with the violent rapist. It didn't take long to learn that she was his mother as well, which made it all the more sick, sad, and twisted. Sara had mixed emotions. Even though she could have been Adam's victim, he was also a victim in this case, the case she was committed to solve. Sara Sidle and Jim Brass then had the difficult task of interrogating Joanne McKay. Sara confronted her with the DNA evidence.

"My son needed me," she retorted.

"For what? To destroy his ego? To fill him with guilt? To make him hate himself so much he would take his own life just to be free of you?" Sara asked with disgust.

"You have no idea what goes on between us."

Brass was next. "Bet it's tough to turn a folie a deux into a menage a trois. N'est-ce pas?"

"Even tougher that your son was cheating on you ... with a man no less," Sara said. The nurse's only reaction was a look of anger and disgust. "But he didn't end it, did he?" Sara went on. "Robbie was lover's leverage. He was that thing that Adam kept in his back pocket and pulled out whenever he needed to distance himself from you."

"So you had no choice but to get rid of Robbie. And being a good nurse, you knew his trigger. You manipulated the situation and took advantage of his weakness," Jim Brass said.

"Exactly what you have been doing to Adam for the past twenty years. And being such a good mother, you made him cover it up. Again."

"Why would my son do that?"

"Because he loves you as much as he hates you."

"You can't prove any of this."

"Just the incest, which is a Class B felony. It carries a penalty of up to ten years."

"That's ten years away from Adam," Sara added.

"Good luck getting him to testify," McKay said sarcastically. Both Brass and Sara silently acknowledged the truth of that.

Sara gathered her things and left the room as an officer handcuffed the nurse and read her her rights. She joined Grissom in the observation room. He took note of her posture and expression but made no comment on either. When Nurse McKay was led away, Grissom turned and looked at Sara.

"Well, jail or no jail-I don't think she'll last six months. She'll die without her son."

"Then that would be better for both of them," Sara said bitterly.

Grissom nodded and quietly left the room, recognizing her need for space and solitude to process this along with everything else. It took a few days and some routine cases and normal shifts before it seemed appropriate to go on a date. Their first date. Grissom made a reservation at a fine restaurant and they both dressed up.

Once the food was ordered he took her hand. For the first time since their night at the bar. The contact, palm to palm, warmed and reassured them both. They looked at their linked hands. Grissom was the first to speak.

"Sara. This is...a big deal to me."

"I know. It's a big deal for me too."

"I don't have a good history with long-term relationships. I was starting to think I would never have one." She nodded with understanding.

"So I don't want to rush...I don't want to screw it up. I probably will, at some point, so please be patient with me?"

Sara snorted. "Just what do you think I've been doing all these years?"

"Of course! I didn't mean that...I just...I'm...see, I'm already getting it wrong!"

Sara smiled her gap-toothed smile. "It's okay. I know you're trying. Guess you finally figured out what to do about 'this'?'

"Yeah. I did. I do." Sara could see the insecure teenager behind his impassive grownup mask. Her heart melted a little more. Who hurt you, Gil? And why?

Sara paused, then said hesitantly. "I do have a temper."

"I noticed," he said dryly.

"Is that, uh, a problem? Is it why you've been dragging your feet?"

"No. It's who you are. You're passionate. It's actually a turn-on. Sometimes."

"Rea...lly?" Sara drawled.

"Yeah," Grissom admitted. "Makes me want to kiss that smart mouth of yours."

"Hmm. Interesting."

"Is this," she released his hand and waved between them, "going to change how we work together?"

Grissom considered carefully. "I've been thinking about that."

Sara chuckled. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Yeah." There was a ghost of a laugh in his voice too. "I know you're a professional. And you understand that I can't give you preferential treatment. I think we'll be good."

"Yeah. I think so too."

"We can agree to keep our private life and our working life separate?"

"Sure. So no kissing at work?" Sara teased.

"No kissing."

"Holding hands? Necking?"

"Nope." Grissom was enjoying their banter. He'd missed it.

"Sex in the office?"

"Sidle!"

"Yes, boss." Sara laughed. "I'll behave. Promise. If anything, this will improve our working conditions."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Less tension. Plus you won't have to hide from me."

"I don't..."

"Yes you do."

"Only when I know you're going to rip me a new one!"

"Well, I won't have to, if you stop pretending you don't know what I'm talking about."

Grissom considered. "I promise."

The food arrived then and it was easy to concentrate on that and make comments and light conversation for the rest of the evening. They both were the type to think before they acted and this was a lot to think about.

It was years later, after many upheavals, separations and reunions, traumas and joys, before Grissom and Sara made their commitment official. But this is where it began.

THE END