(A/N: This is a ficlet collection I am doing because I have time in the middle of everything else. I have to say I enjoy this fandom immensely. And to all the people out there who follow me and are all "What is she doing? I thought she said she wouldn't be writing anymore!" I said I wouldn't be writing as often, if at all. I do write fanfictions, just not as often as I used to (which was not very often to begin with) So you still can get your daily doses of 'Sandria, just not as often. Enjoy!)

Universe One: Why Me?
(Bernard POV. Movie-verse.)

It was excruciating. One second I was glaring at someone who—I later found out—was Megamind: Evil Overlord himself. The next the universe shrunk up on me and my entire self, and the world, consisted of something the color of the cerulean family. Time was meaningless and suddenly I could see every aspect of my life all at once. It was...amazing. Boring after the first go, but rather amazing nonetheless. And then, out of nowhere, I was rehydrated.

The location of my glorious return to the world of everyday drudgery? A washing machine in the middle of the esteemed villain's evil lair—just lair at the time apparently, since he was the hero at this point—with the TOP DOWN, of all things!

Of all the indignities I had to endure at the moment, this was only topped by Minion, his talking fish-atop-a-gorilla-mech-suit, bludgeoning me aside the head with what appeared to be the famed "Forget-Me-Stick". I fell into blackness.

When I awoke, I found myself to be in a ratty apartment building with a note attached to my forehead. It read, and I quote it directly:

Bernard,
Quite sorry for dehydrating you and forgetting you in my pocket. That must have not been a lovely experience. Needless to say, I must also apologize for using your form to waltz around town as a normal human and date one Miss Roxanne Ritchi. You probably may get some odd stares for that.

I am also sorry to say that you no longer have a job seeing as I blew MetroMan museum up. Heh...oops...

And your apartment rent, phone bill, and car insurance bill haven't been paid in the past three months (did I forget to mention I left you in my pockets for three months? No? Sorry...). Needless to say you are now squatting in what used to be your apartment. You have not a penny to your name and no car and your phone was trashed a while back, along with your glasses (I made you a new pair. You;'re blind, you know that?) so you have no possessions either.

Do not despair! I, being Metro City's newest (and best) hero, have not abandoned you! I have left you with all the money I could scrounge up on such short notice and a walkie-talkie set to the most common frequency. Enjoy your life!
Megamind
(& minion)

Of course. Murphy's law had struck yet again. I had—after looking in my pockets for the supposed cash Megamind had given me—exactly five ninety. Five bloody dollars and ninety bloody cents. What. The. Crap Megamind? I thought you were supposed to have loads of money!

But that's only my luck I suppose...Well I best be getting back to my now-ruined life. Onward to the best (worst) part: finding a new job. I just have one question for the supposed "hero".

Why me?

(A/N: This turned out different than I expected...and my Bernard seemed a little Shelldon-esque (from "Big Bang Theory"). Ah well...R&R lest Megamind dehydrate you and rehydrate you in his knickers while they are in the wash!)