Accidentally In Love

Chapter 9

Enjoy :)

Santana walks into her art class and takes her seat. Emily had yet to show up for class, and she had gotten the chair that they always fight over. But Santana was having a hard time basking in her victory, because all she could think about was Brittany. She was probably at school right now holding hands with Quinn as they walked up and down the hallway. She had a slight fear in the back of her mind that Brittany would be harassed for openly dating another girl. But she also knew in the back of her mind, that like Brittany had told her hundreds of times, that nobody truly cared.

Santana wanted to believe that was true, and she could walk down the hallways with Brittany at her side proudly, but in the back of her mind she kept seeing Kurt, and the way he was always tortured.

A couple minutes later, Emily walks into the room and sits down next to Santana who had her head lying down on the desk. "Hey, you feeling better?" Emily asks, placing a comforting hand on Santana's back. Santana merely shakes her head back and forth, not vocally answering Emily.

Santana had called Emily last night after she got off the phone with Brittany, and the brunette had quickly made her way over to Santana's house. She told Emily what she had done, and although she knew she was doing the right thing it felt terrible.

Emily had commended her, and told her how much she really must love Brittany for letting her go to be happy. "Hey, like I told you last night, I'm going to help you, and we are going to get Brittany back." Emily says, making Santana pick her head up, looking at Emily.

Santana lets out a sigh, and sits back in her seat, "Thank you." she says sincerely, giving the taller girl the best smile she could muster. "But I don't know how you can help me." She adds, folding her arms over her chest, insecurely.

"I'm going to be here when you need me, and I am going to help you come out." Emily explains, causing Santana to look over at her, and give her a wary expression, "Slowly." She adds, giving Santana a knowing look. "Like I told you, I was in the same position as you, and I know how scary it is, but once you do it, believe me; you will feel so much better." She says, trying her best to ease the Latina's worries.

Santana looks at Emily as she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, as she thought over Emily's words. She knew if anyone could understand her it would be Emily. She knew exactly what she was going through, and she had conquered her fear. Sure it had been hard at first, but even through the rough times Emily had been happier, because she wasn't hiding apart of herself. Santana wanted to be strong like Emily, and come out, but every time she got close to doing so; she panicked.

o0o0o

The phone vibrated against the white table top, making all girls at the table look down at the device; the noise capturing everyone's attention. Santana stops mid-bite of her apple, and looks down confused. She sees Brittany picture light up the screen and looks over at Emily, who was giving her a look that she was unable to read.

Santana picks the phone up and walks out the door before answering, "Hey Britt." She says, her tone soft, and slightly confused.

"Hey, how is your day going?" The blonde asks, her normal cheerful tone, as if nothing was any different.

"It's fine Brittany." Santana replies quickly, and slightly harshly. She didn't mean to be harsh with the blonde, but she wasn't exactly sure as to why Brittany was calling her. "Why are you calling me anyways? Shouldn't you be having lunch with Quinn?" Santana asks, with a slight attitude. Again she didn't mean for it to come out that way, but she couldn't speak about Quinn without a trace of venom in her voice.

An audible sigh can be heard over the phone, "I want to talk to you San." The blonde replies, quietly. "You're still my best friend." She adds in a tone, telling Santana that Brittany felt she shouldn't have to explain herself.

Santana is silent on the other end, as she chews on her bottom lip. As much as she hated the situation, and she hated being downgraded to best friend, she knew that she had to take it. If she continued to push Brittany away from her, it'd just make things worse. She didn't want to lose her completely. And hopefully like Emily says, they'll get her out of the closet soon enough, "Okay." Santana finally replies, nodding her head although she knew Brittany couldn't see her. "So did you talk to Quinn?" Santana asks, after a brief awkward silence. Neither knew why things were so different now. Sure they weren't sleeping together, but that usually didn't have anything to do with what they talked about.

"Are you sure you want to hear about that?" Brittany asks; her voice hesitant. Santana could picture the look on Brittany's face right now. Her head low, and her eyes darting around the floor as she chewed on her fingernails.

"No." Santana answers honestly, after a brief pause. "But, like you said, you're my best friend, and we're supposed to talk about these things." Santana answers with a shrug. She had her legs crossed over each other on the bench, and she was picking at the end of her jeans with her fingers.

There is a silence on the other end of the phone, and Santana could swore she heard the blonde smiling; if that was possible. "Still, I understand." Brittany insists, finally. "I love you, Santana, and I'm grateful for what you're doing." She says, sincerely. "I know it's hard for you, but I think you were right. I think you should work on you for a little while." The blonde adds as Santana just sits silently, continuing to pick at the bottom of her jeans.

Santana feels tears well up in her eyes, but she quickly sits up straight, and takes a deep breath in; willing them away. "I'm only doing it because I know you guys won't work out." Santana says seriously. It may have been harsh, but it was the truth. She didn't believe Brittany and Quinn would last very long. They had nothing in common at all, and had never shown any kind of interest in one another previously. "Once I figure things out for myself, I'm coming after you full force." She adds with determination, "Quinn won't stand a chance."

There is a giggle on the other side of the phone, and Santana smiles brightly. She had been slightly nervous as to what Brittany's reaction to her statement would be; if it was angry or not. "Okay." Brittany finally says, and once again Santana could hear the smile.

o0o0o

Santana walks into her house later that afternoon after school, and throws her bag down by the front door. She walks into the living room where she sees her mother sweeping the floor. The older woman looks up and smiles at her daughter, and places the broom up against the wall, "How was school?" Maria asks, walking over to the couch. She sits down, and pats the spot next to her for Santana to sit down.

The younger girl just shrugs her shoulders, and slowly makes her way over to the couch, "It was alright, I guess." She replies in a distant voice.

Maria nods her head simply, and places an arm behind Santana on the top of the couch, "Is there something you want to talk about?" She asks, curiously. She could tell by Santana's behavior that something was bothering her. She could see the wheels turning in the younger girls head, as many thoughts and conflicts invaded her mind.

Santana stays silent for a moment, pulling her lip in between her teeth; something she always did when she was nervous or thinking hard about something. In this case it was for both reasons. She had decided on the drive home that she was going to come out to her mother as soon as she walked in the door. She was going to march over to her, and just tell her straight up that she was a lesbian. However when she had gotten home, all confidence had been erased, and was replaced with nothing put fear and panic.

"Baby, you know you can talk to me about anything." Maria says, moving her arm to wrap around her daughter. It was more than obvious Santana was distressed about something.

The brunette finally pulls herself from her thoughts and clears her throat. She looks over at her mother and opens her mouth, but nothing but a squeak comes out. Why did this have to be so damn hard? Santana looks back down at her lap, trying to regain her strength, and find her voice. She feels her mother's hand begin caressing circles on her back, and finally Santana realizes, she couldn't do this. "I just really miss Lima mom." Santana says with defeat, not looking back up at the older woman. She was disappointed in herself, and she felt for some reason her mother would be able to see right through her, and be disappointed also.

Maria exhales deeply, before speaking, "I know moving to a new school in high school, isn't ideal." She starts and Santana just scoffs. Yeah, she had that right. "But, your father had to take this job." She adds, as Santana just rolls her eyes. She didn't feel he had to; it was just better. "This is where we are living; this is home, so I suggest you at least try and be happy." Her mother advises, looking down at the younger Latina.

Santana sits quiet for a few minutes, before standing up from her spot, "Okay." She says simply, turning back to her mother who looked slightly confused, "I'm going to go and call Brittany." She adds before retreating up the stairs.

o0o0o0o

Santana had tried Brittany; twice, but got no answer. She lets out a frustrated groan, and throws herself back onto her bed. She knew if Brittany wasn't answering she was probably with Quinn, and that just pissed Santana off even more. All she had to do was say three simple words, 'I'm a lesbian', and she'd have Brittany, but for some reason she couldn't do it. She didn't know what was stopping her, besides the obvious fear of course. Santana could dish out the abuse, but she couldn't take it, and if she comes out, she's pretty positive she's going to get it.

Emily then crosses Santana's mind, and she considers calling the brunette. She had been calling her, and venting all of her problems to the girl lately. She was probably getting tired of her.

Before Santana decides to call her or not, her cell phone starts ringing in her hand. She picks it up and sees Emily's name flash across her screen, making her smile. "Hey, I think you're like psychic." She says into the mouthpiece with a smile.

A giggle comes through from the other side, making the brunette's heart flutter, "What?" Emily asks confused, continuing to laugh.

"I was just thinking about calling you." Santana clarifies.

"Oh, you caught me." Emily replies with another giggle, causing one to erupt from Santana's throat also. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay." Emily adds, as her giggles subside; her voice was more serious now.

Santana just sighs in response, "I tried to come out to my mother." She admits, "But I couldn't." She adds a few seconds later, in defeat. "It was so frustrating! I had come up with the way I wanted to tell her and everything, but when I had actually sat down with her, I completely freaked out, and I couldn't do it." She says, looking down at her comforter.

Emily is silent on the other line for a few moments, debating on what to say. She knew exactly what Santana was feeling; she had tried numerous times to come out, before she actually had. "Do you want to come over?" Emily finally asks, "We can watch a movie, eat some ice cream, and wallow in our own self pity." She says, with a small chuckle.

Santana lets out a humming noise, and smiles, "Sounds like a good time." She adds, making the brunette on the other end laugh. "I'll be there in a few." She adds, before hanging up the phone.

o0o0o

Santana walks into Emily's room behind the taller girl; a bucket of ice cream in one hand, and a bag of chips in the other. She sets her snacks down on the bed, and turns to Emily who was placing her own tub of ice cream on the bed along with a bottle of hot fudge, caramel, and another type of chips. She looks at their pile of junk food, and nods approvingly.

Emily sits down on the bed, and offers Santana a spoon. The Latina takes the spoon and sits down next to Emily. "Okay, so what movie?" Emily asks, getting up off the bed once again, to walk over to her DVD's.

"Surprise me." Santana replies with a shrug, as she takes the top off of her tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. She had her spoon in her mouth, and the response was muffled, but Emily had seemed to understand, because she pulled a movie out with no words, and popped it into the player, before moving back over to the bed. "So why are you wallowing?" Santana asks as she watches Emily take a mouthful of her chocolate ice cream into her mouth.

Emily swallows, and looks down at her ice cream as she poked her spoon at it, "I talked to Maya, before I called you." Emily says in a low tone. She is met with silence, and looks up to see Santana staring at her, waiting on her to continue. The taller girl sighs, and drops her spoon into the ice cream. "It's over." She replies simply, with a shrug. "I don't know what happened to her at that camp, but ever since she got there, she'd been different." She explains with a confused look as if she was still trying to figure it out herself, "But she called me today to tell me, she was getting out, but she wasn't coming back to Rosewood. Her parents sold the house back to Allison's brother, and they're going back to California." She finishes, looking back over at Santana.

Santana licks her lips, before pulling the bottom one in between her teeth. She wasn't sure what to say. She was bad at this comforting thing, but she felt bad for Emily. She had been so caught up in her own problems, she hadn't even realized Emily was going through her own.

Not knowing what to say Santana simply picks up the hot fudge, and offers it to Emily with a smile. Emily smiles back and holds her ice cream out, letting Santana drench it in hot fudge. She knew the action was Santana's wordless way of trying to comfort her, and she accepted.

o0o0o

Santana walks back into the cafeteria, and sits down next to Emily, and across from Hanna. "That was quick." Emily comments, glancing over at the Latina, before taking a sip of her water. Santana just simply nods her head, not looking up at the girls. She had her eyes fixated on her full plate in front of her, and Emily could tell right away something was wrong. "Is she okay?" Emily asks, quietly, turning to Santana.

The Latina looks up from her plate, and glances around the table, noticing the other girls were wrapped up in their own conversation and not paying them any attention. She looks back over at Emily, and let's out a sigh, "Quinn, wanted her to have lunch with her so she couldn't talk today." Santana says with a shrug. She was trying hard to make it seem as if it didn't bother her, but she was doing a terrible job. She and Quinn had only been together a couple of days, and already Santana and Brittany were slipping apart.

"I'm sorry San." Emily says, placing a comforting hand on the Latina's shoulder. Santana just once again shrugs, trying to brush it off as no big deal, but Emily knew better. "I'm taking you somewhere tonight." Emily then adds, making Santana look over at her confused.

"Where?" The Latina asks, scrunching her eyebrows up in confusion.

Emily simply smiles, "It's a surprise." She states simply, turning her attention back to her other friends, joining in their conversation. She looks over at Santana who was still staring at her and flashes her another grin with a wink, before looking back over at Hanna who was speaking.

o0o0o0o

Santana was sitting in the passengers seat of Emily's car, nervously tapping her fingers against her lap, as she watched trees and houses go by them. She didn't know where anything in Rosewood was at, so she had absolutely no idea where they were going or even any idea what they were heading towards. "Where are we going?" Santana asks, for about the one-hundredth time since had gotten into Emily's car.

Emily groans, and turns her head towards Santana, "Do you not know the meaning of the word surprise?" She asks with a chuckle.

Santana simply folds her arms over her chest, scowling, "I don't like surprises." She grumbles, keeping her eyes straightforward.

"Because you like being in control." Emily throws back, making Santana turn to glare at her. "It's true." She says defensively. Santana just rolls her eyes, and turns back to the front, knowing she couldn't argue the point. She did like being in control, because not knowing what was about to happen was scary.

After a few minutes they finally pull up to the college campus, and Santana turns to Emily with a confused expression, "What are we doing here?" She asks confused.

Emily unbuckles her seat belt silently, and steps out of the vehicle, shutting the door behind her. She looks back in the car to see that Santana had made no move to get out, and she rolls her eyes, before tapping on the glass. "Come on." She says annoyed, waving for Santana to get out.

Santana lets out huff, but unbuckles her seatbelt, and slowly makes her way out of the car. She walks around the front where Emily was waiting for her, and the taller girl hooks her arm with Santana's leading them inside.

They walk down the hallway, and come to a stop outside of a classroom; which had the light on and the door open. Santana looks at the door, and sees a sign that read, 'Gay, Straight Alliance Meeting'. Her eyes widen, and she pulls her arm out from Emily's and takes a few steps backwards, needing to get away from that room. "I can't go in there." The panicked Latina says, waving her hands out in front of her.

Emily gives her a soft look, and approaches her, taking one of Santana's hands in her own, "Yes you can." She says, but Santana just shakes her head in protest. "Look, you don't know anyone in there, and will probably never seen them again. Also everyone in that classroom, accept gay people. They won't judge you." She explains, trying to ease Santana's worries. She had figured Santana would resist the idea, which is why she hadn't told her where they were going. She knew Santana would have refused.

Santana lets her eyes dart back and forth between the classroom and Emily, as she had an internal battle on what to do. Walking into that classroom, she'd be coming out to everyone in there. Sure she didn't know them, but that just made it worse. She hated when people she didn't even know judged her. But also like Emily said the people who come to these meetings are not homophobic; they're fighting for peace among all sexual orientation.

"Come on, it'll be fine." Emily says, tightening her grip on Santana, who had still yet to speak. She tugs on the girls hand as she takes a step towards the classroom, and is met with no resistance as Santana slowly, and hesitantly makes her way into the classroom with her.

Emily watches Santana as the Latina looks around the room; her eyes darting quickly back and forth, taking in everything. She smiled proudly to herself, because, Santana coming in to this meeting, meant she was making progress.

The two find a couple of empty seats, and Emily sits behind Santana, letting her know she was behind her and would catch her if she felt like she was falling; she had her back.

o0o0o

The meeting had began almost an hour ago now, and Santana had eased up tremendously. She hadn't gotten comfortable enough to speak, but she definitely wasn't as tense, and she actually found herself enjoying it.

When she had first sat down, all she wanted to do was run, or crawl up into a little ball. She felt that every person who looked at her, could automatically tell that she was a lesbian; like she had it printed in bold letters on her forehead. Every glance she received she felt as if they were judging her; looking down on her. She had almost got up and ran out, but when she turned around she saw Emily give her a reassuring smile, and place a hand on her back, telling her everything would be okay. Of course that hadn't eased her mind much, but it did make her stay.

As the meeting when on she realized, these people actually did not care if she was a lesbian. Most of the people here were either gay, or lesbians, themselves. There were a couple of straight women, but the majority of the room was gay.

If she'd thought about previously, being in a room full of gay people, she would have been terrified. She normally hated being around gay people, because they reminded her of what she was, and what she did not want to be. But as she sat here listening to everyone speak, she began to slowly accept herself. No, she still wasn't going to go home waving a rainbow flag, but maybe she was getting somewhere.

The meeting finally comes to an end, and the girls get up from their seats. Although she was more comfortable, Santana didn't really want to stick around and chat with everyone. She was ready to leave, however Emily had other plans. Santana knew she was going to make her talk to some people; so she'd just have to prepare herself.

"Are you okay?" Emily asks, looking down at her friend, with concerned eyes. She knew how against this Santana had been, but she was so proud of her for powering through it.

Santana nods simply, "Yeah." She finally vocalizes. "It wasn't as bad as I thought." Santana says, making Emily smile happily at her. She was excited it hadn't been a terrible experience for Santana. She knew that if she could get Santana to sit through one meeting; she'd probably actually enjoy it.

Before Emily could reply, the girl who had been running the meeting walks up to them with a smile, "I haven't seen you guys here before." She states, "I'm Samara." She adds, offering her hand out to the two girls.

"I'm Emily." The taller brunette says with a smile, "And this is Santana." She adds after a minute, moving her attention away from the blonde, to look over at Santana who was standing awkwardly next to her. "We really enjoyed the meeting." Emily adds, smiling brightly at the girl.

Samara returns the smile, "I'm glad." She says, as the two girls seem to begin a staring contest.

Santana looks between the both of them, and just simply rolls her eyes, "Can we go home now?" She asks Emily, causing both girls to snap out of their trances. Emily looks over at Santana with a confused expression as she tries to remember what the question was, but then quickly nods her head yes, remembering.

"I hope to see you guys here next week." The blonde says, glancing briefly at Santana, before moving her eyes back over to Emily. "And also…" She starts, before pausing as she digs in her purse. She hands them both a business card, "If you guys ever need anything give me a call. I know sometimes it's hard to talk in these group meetings, so if you want to talk about anything privately, I'm available." She says, looking between both girls.

Santana simply nods, and places the card into her back pocket. She looks over at Emily who was checking out Samara's ass as she walked away from her. Santana smirks, and pulls Emily's arm, guiding her out of the classroom.

"You were totally just checking her out." Santana says with a smile, as they make their way through the parking lot.

Emily looks over at Santana with wide eyes, and shakes her head furiously, "I was not!" She all but shouts as they approach the car.

Santana smirks, and opens the passenger side door, "I don't blame you, she was totally hot." The Latina says, before climbing into the car.

Emily gets into the car next to her, and starts it up, and they start heading back home, without another word. Santana was wrapped up in her thoughts about the meeting, and how she had just openly said another girl was hot, without a care in the world. Maybe she actually was progressing.

Let me know what you guys think! :)

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