Title: oh, it is love

Author: Kalachuchi

Summary: Wherein Naruto realizes he is in love with Sasuke.

Warning: Yaoi. Unbetaed.

There must be something in the ramen he ate earlier, because Naruto is dodging a poisoned kunai aimed at his face when he suddenly realizes he's in love with Sasuke.

Blugah, is the first coherent thought that enters his mind as Kiba soars from behind and effortlessly knocks the enemy unconscious. He stares at his hand in horror. Because, what? Really?

"Dude, what the hell?" Kiba demands, as Akamaru barks in agreement.

Naruto couldn't ask it better himself.

And really, he has no plan on telling anyone about this little epiphany, because it is just so embarrassing and incredibly stupid because this is Sasuke he is supposedly to be in love with - the guy whose daily routine includes him trying to smash a lightning fist through Naruto's chest as a morning greeting - and isn't that just fucking ironic except. Well. He is Naruto.

"Fuuuckkkk," Naruto slurs after he finishes his sixth glass of beer. "I fuuccckiiing haateee the bastard."

Chouji pauses from eating his barbecue. "But you just said you're in love with him."

"Exactly," Naruto hiccups. "Which is why I hate him."

"Totally understandable," Kiba agrees drunkenly as he tries to pick up a non-existing sushi from his empty plate and fails.

"But love is a glorious thing, Naruto-kun," Lee tells him earnestly. "It is a wonderful experience not all people are given the chance to have! Falling in love is the sweetest fruit of youth! Oh you, Naruto-kun, are moving properly down the path of a true ninja!"

"I am?" Naruto perks.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru mutters.

"Yes!" Lee pumps his arms in the air. "I can feel my blood burning! I think I'm going to run fifty laps around the bar!" He stands up and rushes for the door.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru says again.

"But!" Naruto protests, waving his chopstick in the air, "but what am I going to do?"

"You should tell him," Neji says as if this is utterly obvious.

"Huh," Naruto squints at him. "But- it's Sasuke."

Neji looks at him expectantly.

"He hates talking about his FEELINGS," Naruto continues, looking pained. "He's going to hate it even more if I talk to him about my FEELINGS."

"Well," Neji says. "That might be a little problem."

The table is quiet for a moment.

"Or hey, you could just drug him, then have your merry way with him while he's asleep," Kiba suggests, making a filthy gesture with his hands. "I'm pretty sure Sakura has a medicine drug for that kind of thing. Or Ino. Or Kakashi." He pauses. Then nods sagely. "Definitely Kakashi."

Naruto considers this.

"Don't. He'll probably murder you in your sleep, then use the Impure World Resurrection Technique on you, just so he could flay you alive again. Then emasculate you before serving your remains to his snakes," Chouji says. "Just saying."

"… But not before I could have my merry way with him, right?" Naruto asks in confusion.

Shikamaru rolls his eyes. "Troublesome."

"Gah! All that bastard does is make my head hurt," Naruto complains.

Lee suddenly appears at their table. "I am back, my friends," he announces, panting. "What did I miss?"

"So wait," Kiba lifts his head and blinks blearily. "Does this mean Naruto's gay then?"

Naruto falls silent. "Shit," he realizes.

So not only is Naruto in love with Sasuke, but he's also, apparently, gay.

Huh.

This is all Sasuke's fault. He really needs to teach that bastard a lesson.

Except he comes across Sai first.

"Hello Naruto-kun. So I heard you're in love," Sai greets. "With Sasuke-kun."

"WHAT?!

"So I made this for you," Sai continues. He hands him a scroll.

"What is it?" Naruto asks as he slowly opens the scroll. Then, promptly throws it on the ground. "What the hell, Sai?" he shouts.

"It's Sasuke-kun's penis," Sai explains helpfully as he picks up the scroll. "I painted it this morning. Just in case you never get together with Sasuke-kun, at least you have this to remember him by. I read in a book that it's good to have pictures of people you love with you so you won't feel alone all the time."

"Pictures of people, Sai. Not their penises!" Naruto claws at his eyes. "Argh!"

"Are you feeling sad to know he's bigger than you?" Sai asks.

And Naruto is ready to smash a rasengan in Sai's face, except it is at that moment that he spies a familiar duckbutt's head at the end of the street, and Naruto thinks he can't face Sasuke right now, not when he just had a blown-up drawing of Sasuke's penis shoved in face; So he swiftly turns around and runs.

He runs back fifteen seconds later to snatch the scroll from Sai, because the painting is pretty detailed and he isn't sure he wants other people to know what Sasuke's penis looks like. He'll just hide it under his bed. No one will ever know.

For blackmailing purposes, obviously.

Really.

But since life is a bitch and fate likes to make fun of Naruto a lot, Sakura is waiting for him outside his apartment.

"Hi Naruto," she greets cheerfully.

"Er," Naruto answers. And because he is a fucking awesome ninja with stealth skills second to none, he subtly hides the scroll behind him.

"What's that on your back?" Sakura asks as she reaches for it.

"Oh just some stupid thing -" he begins, but Sakura grabs it from his ninja grasp and is already opening it. "I -don't-" Naruto flinches as he waits for the explosion. He hears her take a sharp intake of breath and -

"Naruto, is there something you want to tell me?" Sakura asks calmly.

… That is not the reaction he is expecting. "Um," he says articulately.

"Why do you have a painting of Sasuke's penis?"

Naruto stares at her. There is a funny skip going on at the pit of his stomach as he realizes the implication of her question. Because if she knows what Sasuke's penis looks like - Naruto swallows hard - does that mean she and Sasuke are -?

"And don't try to deny it isn't Sasuke's because it says so right here," she finishes as she taps the scroll patiently.

Naruto blinks and peers at the paper. And sure enough, the words: TO NARUTO-KUN, HERE IS SASUKE-KUN'S PENIS. LOVE, SAI are written in Sai's cursive.

That fucker.

"Naruto," Sakura says again, as she crosses her arms.

And Naruto looks at her and sees the smiling, bright girl he fell in love with when he was young, and thinks What the hell.

"Sakura," he says, "I think I'm in love with Sasuke. And I think I want to have a relationship with him, even though he'll probably murder me in my sleep if I dared touch him because he is such a frigging cold bastard, and he is rude and anti-social and the worst conversationalist I've ever met. He's an asshole who takes his coffee strong, without sugar and has a stupidly weird fascination with snakes and monkeys and baboons and hates everything about the human world, but fuck, I love him and I can't imagine living my life without him beside me, hearing his voice and just fucking see him and know he's okay, and, and yeah. I don't know what to do now, Sakura. I. I really don't know."

There is a moment of silence.

She blinks slowly at him. "You've been obsessed with him since you were kids, and it never occurred to you before that you might be a little in love with him?" she wants to know.

"Don't be silly, Sakura. I'm not obsessed with that bastard. It's not like I'll spend half my life trying to get him back if ever he ran away with a snake pedophile and defy all ninja rules just so I could save him- OH! Oh crap!"

"Yeah," Sakura agrees.

Naruto looks miserable. "But this is even worse, isn't it? I mean, apparently, I'm in love with that asshole all this time, but he will never like me the same way!"

"Oh. But," she says, looking confused, "aren't you two already living together?"

"Are we living together?" Naruto demands as soon as the door opens. Sasuke pauses from taking off his muddy sandals and looks up at him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke asks, sounding annoyed.

"Are. We. Living. Together." Naruto repeats, scowling.

"You're an idiot," Sasuke declares as he steps inside. "Yes," he adds as an afterthought.

Naruto does his best not to hyperventilate. "But!" he flails his arms. "But - But - But since when?"

The look Sasuke gives him could have killed a lesser man. But Naruto is not a lesser man. He is a ninja. An awesome one. "What is this all about?" he asks.

Naruto thinks really hard. "The plumbing, right?" His eyes widen. "This is all because you need a place to stay while the plumbing in your apartment is getting fixed, right? I didn't even know you're living with me!"

"I've been cooking your dinner for practically a year, and you realize this just now?" Sasuke looks at him in disbelief.

Naruto flails. "I thought you were being nice!"

"Moron," Sasuke says viciously. "Why are you asking me this anyway? Are you kicking me out?"

"What? No! I just - I was just surprised, is all." Naruto rubs his head tiredly. All these revelations in one day kind of sucks.

Sasuke stares at him quietly. He takes a step closer, then hesitates. He stops. "What is it?" he asks, and Naruto wants to laugh at the hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"Sasuke," Naruto finally says resolutely. "I want to talk about our FEELINGS."

Silence.

Sasuke looks horrified. "What?"

"Neji says I should tell you what I feel -"

"You're listening to Neji?"

"-And I think he's right. I think it's time for us to come clean and -"

"OH. GOD. Just shut up, Naruto. Shut. UP."

"-And express what we feel. Because I really believe that bottling things inside won't do us any good. And I don't care if you don't want to talk, Sasuke -"

"Why are you still talking? I can't understand why you're still talking."

"-But I had this… revelation about our friendship, and fucking epiphany and shut up -I know what that means, okay, I asked Sakura - and I was thinking I want something more than us just being friends and - why are you moving closer? Sasuke? Killing me is not the answer. If we could just share what we feel and talk about it more often - I - MFFFFGGG!"

Sasuke presses his mouth against Naruto's.

Sasuke lips are dry and chapped, and he kisses clumsily, teeth clanking against teeth. but Naruto thinks there is nothing that feels better than breathing the same air Sasuke breathes, tasting his tongue, his lips and drinking his entire being, and Naruto wonders if this is what drowning and burning in fire both feels like at the same time.

"Does this mean we're in a relationship?" Naruto whispers against Sasuke's mouth.

"…Shut up," Sasuke whispers back, "Or I'll fucking kill you."

"How sweet," Naruto says as he rubs Sasuke's back. "I love you too."

"Why didn't you tell me we were living together?" Naruto asks later that night.

Sasuke does not open his eyes. "Shush," he says. "I'm sleeping."

"I mean seriously," Naruto says as he rolls on his side to face Sasuke. He slowly runs a finger down Sasuke's arms and hides a smirk when Sasuke's skin prickles with goosebumps. "We could have done this a long time ago."

Sasuke slowly opens his eyes and turns to face him. He reaches out, cups the back of Naruto's head and moves their foreheads closer. Naruto face softens and smiles.

"Naruto?" Sasuke whispers.

"Yeah?"

Sasuke smiles. "Sharingan," he breathes gleefully as his eyes turn red.

Sasuke still doesn't want to talk about his FEELINGS, or Naruto's FEELINGS for that matter. But he has moved in Naruto's bedroom, and slowly, they are both falling into patterns that somehow resemble normal domesticity. And even though he is still a freaking bastard who threatens to cut Naruto's limbs if he dares cuddle him while he is sleeping, still regularly does his darnest to kill Naruto, and still has that freaking fascination with snakes and monkeys and baboons, Naruto knows life would be fine.

"I saw Sai on the way home, by the way," Sasuke says casually the next day as Naruto slowly backs him against the wall, hands stroking the skin under Sasuke's shirt.

"Hmm," Naruto says as he inhales Sasuke's neck.

"And he gave me this. Said it's not up to scale, but I shouldn't worry because there are medicines you can get for problems like this." And Sasuke holds up a scroll with a shriveled painting of a penis and the words TO SASUKE-KUN, HERE IS NARUTO-KUN'S PENIS. LOVE, SAI lovingly written on the top.

Naruto stares.

"ARGH!"

So it turns out Sasuke is also in love with Naruto. Naruto thinks he could live with that.

END.