I was bored and this is crack.

WARNING: Slight cussing and crack!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Durarara or any of it's characters!

Shizuo Heiwajima was bored. Currently he was surfing through the depths of the Internet looking at lolcats, bored out of his mind. Funny talking cats can only entertain you for so long.

Sighing, he took a sip of his blueberry and pomegranate flavored water...He head desked. Well, as much as you can when your lying on your bed. He wasn't tired, despite the fact it was 3:45 in the morning. It was to late to watch a horror movie, if he started now he still would get to bed before sunrise. He glanced down at the pile of fluff that was currently using him as a pillow. His overly fat and overly fluffy white cat, Tom. And no, it wasn't named after his dept collecting friend. Sighing again, he bit into his chocolate and banana nut muffin.

"UH! This is disgusting!"

He then took a sip of his water...it only made it worse. He chunked the muffin at the trash can, but since it was already filled to the brim with useless crap, it flopped failishly to the floor.

"Man, that was fail, Shizu-Chan."

Flipping his head around that it nearly gave him a whiplash, he stared at a one Orihara Izaya.

"FLEA! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?"

"Well, you see, Shizu-Chan, when a man and a woman love each other-" The informant was cut off from his oh so smart ass reply by violence. Namely a night-stand and a deafening yell of,

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN, YOU DAMN LOUSE! I MEAN HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE?"

"Ah, that! I teleported!"

Shizuo deadpanned, a simple "Bullshit" as his answer.

"Ah, but it's true, Shizu-Chan! Shinra can do it to! Remember that one time in high school when you went to his apartment while I was there, and you threatened to kill me again? He was at the door telling you I was here, then as soon as you got through the door, he was sitting down on the other side of the room! He teleported, it's as simple as that!" All of a sudden, a shrill ringing sounded. "Well, that means my ootoro's done! See you tomorrow, Shizu-Chan!"

And with that he teleported away, leaving the ex-bartender with a look of pure 'WTF'.

"Well, I guess it's back to the lolcats for me." Tom meowed in agreement.

THE END

Yeah, beside the fact of Izaya teleporting into my room, this is my night.o3o And, yes, I put my cat into the Also earlier my friend, Katie, (nick named Izaya) and I were talking about how Izaya sometimes just appears, and I pointed out when Shinra magically teleports. I think it was episode 7, "Bad Ass Dude".