A/N~ Okay, well, this is what happens when AilenNinja and I start surfing Narutopedia, get called "Shisui and Itachi," and I have my notebook by me. So, you were warned.

What The F is 'Fluff'?

Chapter 1. Rain

Shisui was bored.

It was a Saturday, yes, but it was raining. Pouring. And he was currently getting soaked. Sometimes he wondered if walking to Itachi's house was worth the trouble of getting halfway across the village in the rain…

The Uchiha knocked on his younger cousin's door, wiping the precipitation off his face. The door slid open, revealing a short little kid with pointy hair. "Hey, Squirt! Where's your big brother?"

Sasuke's face twisted. "Don't call me 'Squirt.'"

Shisui sighed. He hated this kid sometimes… "Squirt." Itachi's younger brother scowled again, and the older Uchiha laughed. "Squirt, Squirt, Squirt!"

Sasuke's face was red. "SHISUI-NII!" he whined.

"SQUIRT!" Shisui cried back, mimicking the younger one's tone.

Sasuke was visibly irritated, his eyebrows knitted together. "ITACHI-NII! CONTROL THIS HEEKVAN!" The young Uchiha pointed an accusing finger at Shisui and called for his older brother.

"'Heekvan'?" The older one laughed, throwing his head back from the shelter of the roof. His hair was soaked again, but Shisui thought it was worth it when he flicked his head back and Sasuke got splattered with rain.

Itachi came down the hallway, carrying a very uninteresting looking book, his expression as blank as ever. He was walking abnormally stiff for any normal person. But, Shisui knew his best friend wasn't 'normal.'

"Shisui?" The stoic Uchiha strode to the door, patting Sasuke on the head. "Sasuke, I think you meant 'heathen.'" He corrected his little brother and invited the older Uchiha in.

Sasuke ran off, probably to complain to his mother about his hair being all wet and not pointy anymore. Itachi walked back down the hallway, Shisui following him. "You walked here in the pouring rain?" The younger Uchiha asked.

The body flicker shrugged. "Eh. I was bored. And you have a laptop…"

"You could have teleported here."

"Well… I like the rain."

"Don't you know that your name means 'Death Water'?"

"Quiet." Shisui immediately attacked Itachi's computer, perching on the end of his bed. The prodigy sighed and sat down, cracking open his book again.

Opening the internet, Shisui started ranting again. "How come you always read? How old are you, 13? You should be looking up porn on the internet or something!"

Itachi ignored his friend. He really didn't want the conversation to continue. Instead, the Uchiha decided to focus on reading.

Shisui rolled his black eyes. Impossible. He fixed his attention back on the laptop, something more interesting than Itachi at the moment. The older Uchiha stared at the computer screen, wondering where to go.

A devious expression came across his face. "Itaaaaaaachiiiiiiiii! What should I doooooooooo?" He fell back onto his friend's lap, smiling.

The Uchiha Death Glare met his grin. The body flicker playfully messed Itachi's hair, and his gaze grew more hostile. God, he loved annoying his little cousin…

"How about doing something that will actually raise your intelligence for once?"

Shisui winced. "Ooooh, no need to spit acid at me!"

Itachi just stared on, irritated. He sighed and tapped the blank, gray cover of his book. It was a long shot that the body flicker caught the subtle action, but it couldn't hurt to try. Shisui sighed.

"Fine, I'll…" -he dramatically gulped- "…read." Itachi seemed un-amused by his friend's try at humor. Said older Uchiha gave up on trying to get his cousin to smile, and sat up again. He comically-okay, one more try-cracked his knuckles and neck and typed in the search bar 'stuff to read.' Itachi rolled his eyes.

So many choices popped up. Shisui almost keeled over from the overload of words that appeared on the screen. He sighed and resolved to click one random link out of the thousands. Covering his eyes with one hand, he scrolled with the arrow keys until he felt the need to stop. There!

"Hm, "LiveJournal?" Okay…" The older Uchiha selected the link, and instantly a quite colorful page popped up to say hello. He scrolled down the page at crazy speed to find something of interest, and stopped when he saw a familiar word in the 'spotlight' section: Nakano.

Shisui tilted his head to the side. 'Bitter Nakano.' As in, river? The Uchiha clicked on the 'community' and blinked a couple times. Was that a picture of… him? And Itachi? Smiling? He narrowed his eyes and scrolled down.

So many posts…

The body flicker stopped at a random one. It looked like a story summary…

Title: The River's Tides

Author: justanauthor56

Genre: Angst/Romance

Summary: It was such a lovely time when the two of them walked down the river bank… An Ita/Shi love story.

"What… the… hell…?"

Itachi looked over to his best friend, who was currently gawking at the computer screen. "Shisui?" He leaned over the older Uchiha's shoulder, reading the same post. "What… are you reading?"

Shisui looked as though he was trying to decode an encrypted message from outer-freakin'-space. "Uh…" He scrolled to the top of the page, showing his younger cousin exactly what kind of insanity these… authors… came up with.

Itachi's forehead creased as he stared at the picture. He set the book down and took the laptop from Shisui's hands. Yeah, that was definitely an accurate drawing of the two friends, smiling. The weasel raised an eyebrow as he scrolled down to the bottom of the first page…

Title: Bad Timing

Author: true meaning_0957

Category: Romance

Summary: This could have came at a better time, a better place, and a better situation. Shisui always had bad timing, though.A/N: So, I know I haven't written anything in a while, but this story's kind of… out there. Yeah. I guess I should apologize to everyone for completely slaughtering characterization. Itachi is extremely slutty and perverted, and Shisui is… no. Just, no. So I'm so sorry for poisoning your minds in advance.Shisui smirked as he read the author's note and saw Itachi's face turn from confused to mortified. Extremely slutty? "W…what?" The younger Uchiha stuttered, rereading the note. He must have misread it…

The body flicker spotted the blue link at the end of the post and reached over Itachi to click it. An online-book-type-thing popped up, calling itself "Fan Fiction." The story covered the whole screen, a scary sight for the two.

Itachi bit his lip as he scanned the work, and stopped when he came across what we authors call a 'sour scene.' He read the paragraph, and his eyes went wide. The young Uchiha slapped the laptop shut, blushing wildly.

"Hey! I wasn't done reading!" Shisui reached over his best friend for the computer, unaware of the mental scar he was about to receive. The body flicker opened the laptop and read through the paragraph, and a blush turned his ears red. Then his forehead. Then his nose. Then his cheeks. Then his-

"Nii-san! Can I pretty please use your computer?" Sasuke called in a sing-song voice, standing in the doorway that led into Itachi's room. The weasel looked over to the laptop. Shisui was still busy reading and turning red.

"Uh, not right now, Sasuke. Some other time…" Itachi shooed his little brother away. But, Itachi's 'shoo, shoo' and 'come here' movements are very similar, and Sasuke decided to take the latter's meaning.

The little ball of trouble took three steps closer, donning his Puppy Doggie Eyes of Doom. "But, but… I never get to use it…" Sasuke's bottom lip quivered, and his eyes grew wider and wider. The kid got talent for getting whatever he wanted…

Itachi shook his head. Those eyes didn't work for Shisui, and they wouldn't work for his little brother. "No, Sasuke. Shisui and I are using it."

The little Uchiha's face twisted, and he mustered all the rage he could. He narrowed his eyes, made two fists, and knitted his eyebrows to make a scowl. Itachi shooed him again. Sasuke's face turned red with anger, and he stared his big brother down. He took a deep breath, and: "KAAAAA-SAAAAAAAN! ITACHI-NII WON'T LET ME USE HIS COMPUTER!" The little brother ran out of the room, screaming at the top of his little lungs.

When Itachi looked back over to his friend, he was scrolling down the pages again, and came across some *lovely* fan-art. Shisui's eyebrow migrated up to his hairline, a bewildered face. Itachi copied his expression; he most certainly did not dress like a Gothic Lolita. "So, what do you suppose we do about this, Shisui?"

The body flicker opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by Mikoto being dragged into the room by her youngest son. Shisui's eyes instantly sparkled.

Sasuke pointed at the two older boys, annoyed. Mikoto put her hands on her hips. "Now what's going on here?" The little brother nodded and crossed his arms.

Itachi sighed. "Mother, Shisui and I are dealing with something very important. Sasuke will have to wait to use the laptop. I will give it to him when we are finished."

Mikoto nodded. "See, Sasuke-kun? You just have to wait a little longer." She patted the little Uchiha's head and walked off. Sasuke scowled again, and stomped away, mumbling.

Shisui waited for everyone to be out of earshot, and then answered Itachi's question. "Well, we could show this to the Hokage-" The body flicker looked over those words. He facepalmed. "Okay, well, we could tell the Hokage that someone has information on us. We'll go from there… track them down, maybe."

The weasel stared at his friend. That was actually not a bad idea.

O.o

Sandaime Hokage looked at the two young Uchihas as if they were insane. There was no way he would believe their story; ANBU information was kept under the most extreme secrecy. How someone managed to get into it and find some on Uchiha Shisui AND Uchiha Itachi was beyond him.

Itachi noticed the old man's puzzled look, and spoke up. "Hokage-sama, I realize that our story is fairly difficult to believe, but I assure you that it is all true." Beside him, Shisui nodded.

The Third raised an eyebrow. "Boys, ANBU information is kept under so many locks and keys, and I've heard of no breach in the security system lately. Unless you bring me undeniable proof, I cannot believe your story."

The two Uchiha blushed, making Sarutobi's eyebrow raise further up. Shisui facepalmed.

o.O

After a half hour or so of Sasuke protesting, Itachi finally managed to get his computer to the Hokage's office.

And, gosh, was that embarrassing. The Hokage looked over the Bitter Nakano community, thoroughly. Shisui kept himself busy by looking around the small room and turning red all over, and Itachi resolved to stare at the floor and also turn red all over.

When the Hokage slapped the laptop closed on his desk, the two friends snapped to attention. The Third looked up at the two blushing Uchihas as if they were from another planet. Shisui could see the mental scar forming on Sarutobi's forehead.

After a few moments of awkward silence, the Third coughed and said, "Well, uh, yes. I… give you two permission to try and stop this… this… problem."

Shisui, with a dust of light pink on his cheeks, was the one to make things difficult. "But, we don't exactly know where these people are. How are we supposed to arrest them if we don't have any information on them?"

All three shinobi saw the flaw. They inwardly facepalmed.

The Third sighed. "I see. Do your best to try and find any revealing information on them. It shouldn't be easy, but I'll assemble a team devoted to finding these authors to help."

Sandaime Hokage waved the cousins away. Shisui grabbed the computer and walked out. Itachi bowed and hurried after him, closing the door to the office.

Walking down the narrow staircase, the body flicker whistled. "Well this should be fun!" he exclaimed, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Itachi shook his head. "It should be fairly easy with a team of ANBU helping us gather information. We will find them shortly."

Shisui shrugged and half-smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right, little cousin. It's not like they live in a completely different universe!"

A/N~ You do not know how long it took me to post this. My computer is being really stupid. So reviews are nice.