Turnabout Epilogue

"And that was that, pals," Gumshoe dusted off his hands as though he'd actually just finished taking part in the battle on the 'Moonwalker' then and there. He looked at the other people in the room, waiting for their approval.

Nick, Maya and Edgeworth shared a sombre moment, waiting for someone else to give the first reply.

"So is that why you always wear that bandage?" Maya finally asked. "Because of being hit with that bottle?"

"Yeah, that's right," Gumshoe said. "That little chunk of glass in my cheek was filthy. By the time a doctor could get it out the wound was infected and it never properly healed," the detective delicately examined the old wound with his fingers, a look of manly pride on his face.

"And after all that happened, the police just believed your story that you were involved in that case by accident and let you have your job back?" Nick said.

"Well I'll admit, it was lookin' pretty bad for me at one point, pal. But Lieutenant Wong was a good detective. He checked out the stuff on my video camera which showed what happen the night I handed those files to Tremaine, and what happened when that hit man tried to kidnap me. And you remember when I was at that safe house when I broke the roll of film and threw it away? Well, when they searched the place, Tremaine's punks had cleaned up any evidence they had, but that roll of film landed under a desk and was still there when they raided the place. They were recordin' their calls in case they needed to blackmail the people they were dealin' with, but the stuff on that film proved that they'd plan to trick me into stealin' the files, and got a bunch of other guys who were workin' for 'em arrested. Tremaine and the others didn't try to drop me in it by sayin' I was one of them 'cus they were too busy cuttin' deals to shorten their jail time. Of course, I couldn't get any credit because I stole the files in the first place, but if I had, I'd have been a national hero, pal!"

"Truly remarkable," Edgeworth mentioned. "But there's one thing I don't understand- if you didn't get any recognition for what you did, what has this story got to do with how you became a detective?"

"Well it's like this, pal. Even though I didn't get any credit, I still got congratulations from all the head people. Soon after that, Bones was pushing to get me my promotion. She really pulled out all the stops to make it happen."

"I thought you said she hated you?"

"Well she couldn't fire me after all I'd done. I think she wanted me promoted so that I'd leave her department and she'd never have to see me again," Gumshoe said, before chuckling and adding "You should have seen her face the day I was supposed to start my new job but went to my old place by accident."

Edgeworth rubbed at his aching head and said "Well, I'm glad to see it wasn't your 'deductive abilities' that got you promoted. So, the short version of how you became a detective is that you were such a prize idiot that you superiors were desperate to get rid of you by any means necessary?"

Gumshoe opened his mouth to argue, but Edgeworth's point seemed pretty incontestable. He took a moment to think about what to say, and then gave up, allowing his face to fall from annoyed to glum.

"Don't be too hard on him Mister Edgeworth," Maya exclaimed. "It was still a pretty good story."

"Yes, amazing," Edgeworth lied openly. Why had he ever asked for visitors? Compared to Gumshoe's ridiculous tale, lonely boredom was a welcome distraction.

"So what happened to Connie after all this?" Maya asked.

"Well, soon after the Moonwalker case she went to Comic-Con and met some cosplay nut who she eventually dumped me for. I haven't seen her since," if Gumshoe was at all put off by the memory of his ex leaving him for someone else, he didn't show it. He seemed too distracted by the fact that Maya was the only one showing any real interest in what he was saying.

Edgeworth on the other hand had had enough.

"Well you'd better all get going now," he said. "Visiting hours will be ending soon."

"Already, pal? But I only just finished the story. I didn't get to talk to you."

'Lucky me,' thought Edgeworth. Even his adopted sister would be better company than Gumshoe. He'd take being whipped senseless than listening to stories of Gumshoe's incompetence any day.

"I'm sure you'll get another chance to visit Gumshoe, but I could really do with some rest now."

Soon enough, Edgeworth convinced his now unwelcome guests to leave, each giving their goodbyes with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"See you around, Miles," Phoenix Wright pulled his woolly hat back on and nodded to his old friend.

"Yeah, we'll come back with more fruit and stuff soon," promised Maya brightly.

"Thank you; I'll look forward to it," Edgeworth replied politely.

Gumshoe pulled his dad's old coat on and shuffled towards the door.

"Well, I hope you get better soon, pal," he said. "I… hope you enjoyed the story?"

Edgeworth's only reply was a cold look. Gumshoe expression descended to near miserable.

"Don't worry, Detective Dick. I liked your story!" Maya piped up. "You can tell me more about it while you're giving us a lift home."

"Heh- okay, sure thing," Gumshoe smiled again, then looked back to Edgeworth.

"Okay then, pal. I'll see you later."

'I hope not,' Edgeworth thought, but all he said aloud was "Very well then. Goodbye Gumshoe."

As the others left, Edgeworth allowed himself to bask in the silence. Now he found that the prospect of being alone and doing nothing didn't bother him one bit. A quick visit from what was possibly the most annoying man alive was all it took to change his perspective of things.

For a moment he thought about Gumshoe's story. He supposed it was fairly believable after all, but could Gumshoe really be stupid enough that he could be fooled into breaking into a house? Edgeworth realised that he didn't even need to answer that question.

Still, it was over now. A couple of weeks rest away from the usual insanity of life was just what he needed- no trials, thieves or detectives telling him crazy stories. The rest of his stay was going to be spent in as much solitude as possible, and he wouldn't repeat the mistake of wishing that he had visitors.

Barely an hour later, Edgeworth was calling Dick Gumshoe on his cell phone.

"Hey pal, Mister Edgeworth. You okay?" Gumshoe blasted down the phone.

"Fine thank you, Gumshoe," said Edgeworth. "I wanted to ask if you'd be able to get some files that I'd left in my apartment and bring them to me."

"I thought you said you couldn't read because of your double vision?"

Edgeworth's reply was a little delayed.

"It's getting better. I really need to read over that stuff, so could you bring it to me, please?"

"Okay then, pal. You're not feelin' lonely or anythin', are you?"

"Of course I'm not lonely! Why would I specially want company just because I'm in hospital? !" Edgeworth answered sharply. Perhaps a little too sharply. He berated himself for overreacting needlessly.

"So, you're not hoping to hear more of my stories to pass the time then?" Gumshoe said half-jokingly.

"No," Edgeworth said, and it was all he meant to say, but for some reason that he couldn't explain, he couldn't stop himself from adding "although I heard that there's a good one about why you started throwing confetti every time Wright won a trial."

"Huh? You seriously wanna hear that one? Well that's great; that is a good story."

"I was being sarcastic, Gumshoe," Edgeworth stated dully, though in his mind his was shouting 'Why did you say that, idiot? !'

"Oh right. I get it, pal," Gumshoe said in what sounded like a knowing tone (which really didn't suit the officer). "Well don't worry, pal. I'll be there in about half an hour."

The detective hung up before the attorney could say anymore. Edgeworth looked down at his mobile irritably. What was Gumshoe so smug about? Did he really think that he, Miles Edgeworth, was both craving the company of semi-incompetent (well, make that completely incompetent) cop, and longing to hear his stories about what made him the lunatic he was today? If Edgeworth wanted friendly company he'd call Nick or Maya or maybe even Ema. Heck, Wendy Oldbag would be better, though he drew the line at calling Larry Butz. No, the only reason he'd called Gumshoe was because he could make him do stuff for him, and he wanted those files from his apartment. He was sure his double vision would clear up soon. And he most definitely was not interested in hearing about the confetti.

X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X X-X

Gumshoe smiled as he tucked his cell phone away.

One thing he'd forgot to mention when he explained how he'd become a detective- one didn't get to be a detective without being able to recognise an obviously lie.

"Don't like my stories, pal?" he said to himself. "That's the biggest contradiction I ever heard. Don't worry Mister Edgeworth- I'll be there soon."

Gumshoe quickly searched through his desk at the precinct, meaning to leave as soon as he'd found some duct tape for the video camera.

The End