Put Our Love to Use Chapter 1: Prologue: Pour Your Heart Out, a glee fanfic

*A/N: Originally I was going to post this over Valentines week with the last chapter on the proper day. I am not much for mushy, romantic anything so it was as big of a shock to me as it was to anyone when this story idea took hold. It follows canon as I see fit and digresses as I see fit, so I'm not sure if it even counts as AU or not. It's all traditional coupling and takes place in what would be real time without regard for spoilers. I'm thinking it will be five parts and maybe an epilogue, but it's only about half written so I don't know exactly how it's going to come out.

Thanks to Lizzie for her encouragement, editing, and general rocking. I'm trying super hard to persuade her to post something here because it's way better than my writing! Thanks to everyone else for reading and replying and being awesome.

*Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Put Our Love to Use

Prologue: Pour Your Heart Out

Song used: Use Somebody – Laura Jansen

Will Schuester sighed heavily as he walked down the hall. He was too busy eyeing the Valentine's decorations warily to notice exactly where in the school he was, even though he should've been headed in a direct line from his Spanish classroom to the choir room for glee club with New Directions.

As he looked at the foil and paper lace decorations announcing the girls' choice Sweethearts dance that would be one week from Saturday, he wondered if he had even realized the significance in naming the group 'New Directions' as he had done a year and a half ago. It seemed like they were all (sadly, he was using his high school students as a basis of comparison on relationship success) going different directions, but he was on the only one who hated the path he was on now.

It hadn't been all that long ago that he was happily married, starting up the glee club in a search for some long-hidden spark in his life, and then there was the baby on the way and all the joy and terrifying responsibility that came with it. It had all come apart so quickly, like he had tugged on one thread a little too hard and the whole thing had come unraveled.

Most people didn't use Valentine's Day as a day to take stock, but he wasn't most people. And most people didn't have all manner of anniversaries (former anniversaries now) that fell on that date. The date they had kissed after his sixteen year old self asked her sixteen year old self to be his; the year he had proposed, in a nod to that anniversary. The following year when they had married. He shook his head. Yeah, he was reasonably certain he would never view that holiday with anything romantic or good attached to it again.

But he was ready. He was ready to be in love again, and working in a high school day after day was not helping matters any. Sure, the overwhelming majority of the relationships that played out in front of him on a daily basis didn't last, wouldn't last. He was unusually close to his Glee kids and had stood by to both help them through and teach them some hard lessons. Using his insider knowledge, he was sure at least one or two of those pairs would be fine because they always took the advice of more experienced people—their parents, their teachers, their counselor. Their counselor who had shredded his heart and now had what appeared to be a solid marriage of her own. He wanted to scream swear words at the top of his lungs, but it wasn't like he could wish her anything less.

Someday though, the kids would graduate and actually go on to be success stories and maybe even failures sometimes and when they were gone, then what? Would he be fine? He could really use somebody. Emma had pulled the rug out from under him so swiftly that he'd needed time to regain his balance. More than one girl had called him out on that, and now there was exactly one left that had any possibility at all: Shelby Corchran. He still had her number, she was no longer directing Vocal Adrenaline so there would be no conflict of interest. Maybe he should call her, but there was something that echoed back to him through the recent months' uncertainty, something telling him to wait on that and oddly enough it was Finn' voice.

And then there was this whole thing with her biological mother. Rachel's adopted, did you know that? I mean, you probably did because it's pretty obvious two dads don't make a baby the normal way. But anyway, that whole mess with Jesse was all tangled up in the mess with her mom and I think she is probably still really screwed up about it. Who does that, who says they don't want anything to do with their daughter because they've missed too much already? Her daughter is Rachel, for crying out loud. She's so fucking lucky. Um, sorry. She's just, really lucky. And she doesn't even seem to care.

As Finn's long-winded frustration came back to Schue, he knew there was no way he could call Shelby if she would treat her own flesh and blood so harshly, but more especially because it was Rachel. He had a stake in Rachel's well-being. He had to take her side, even if it wasn't a matter where sides were drawn. When he said he was unusually close to his Glee kids, he meant it, and he had been especially more friendly with Finn, even moreso since their return from Winter break. He had really identified with Finn during the whole friend and girlfriend cheating and lying about pregnancy thing. Finn had tied himself in knots over the possibility that he'd ruined Quinn's rep—only to have his ruined in the process and without warning. Say whatever you would about Rachel, because there were plenty of things to say—Schue had no doubt she would never do anything like that to Finn, in large part because she was the only person who had been honest with him as soon as she'd found out the truth about Quinn and Puck. The rest of the team had known—apparently for some time—and only she'd had the courage to speak. She was a real friend for those lucky enough not to be trampled by her. Rachel was ambitious and sometimes rash, but she was never cold, calculating and manipulative. She was just really bad at seeing the possible consequences when she so naively saw only one possible outcome (and usually one that was to her benefit).

When Finn had talked his ear into a bloody stump about his newest problems, which was always unexpected given that Finn was usually not particularly talkative, they had all come as a surprise. Over the months Finn had dated Rachel, it seemed he had matured and started being able to express his feelings with some degree of willingness. In that case, maybe, he had also turned to Will because Will was quite literally the last friend Finn felt he could talk to after a string of such major incidents. Parents, who were finally relieving a life-long burden with the joy of being newlyweds in Finn's case, just didn't understand. Parents didn't want to hear about the sex, lies, and mistakes being experienced by their protégés; Will was immersed in it on a daily basis whether he was just observing or whether he was a confidante.

But after the holidays, Finn had renewed the mentor/mentee advice-seeking, had gone on to disclose a lot of what had gone down during the course of his and Rachel's relationship, and of course it had imploded. They were still kids, they were dealing with adult issues too big for them to handle, and they were bound to break down sometimes. The fact that Rachel had turned to another boy, and especially her choice of whom, was surprising; the fact that she had immediately confessed and apologized was not. And now Schue thought, after some time to calm down and grow up a bit, maybe Finn and Rachel were headed back to being "that" couple. The one who goes the distance. The one in a million.

The same kind of thing he had once thought he had.

Of course, now that it wasn't so close to him and he was no longer 'in' it, he could see all the faults, the cracks, and the issues that had plagued them from the beginning. Terri was bat-shit crazy and he was always hungry enough for someone to love him, to be part of him, that he let her take advantage of it. He let her gradually kick him down enough that he didn't think he had anything to offer. Standing up, starting Glee, had been the first of several things that restored him to some semblance of the man he felt he was supposed to be.

But that part of him hadn't gone away. Was it wrong that he envied what his students had? It wasn't that he didn't want them to have it, but he was ready for his own big deal.

There was a song he loved to lose himself in that he had failed to secure performing rights for that summed it all up rather perfectly. He had gotten official notice just this morning that the artist turned him down—after being unable to find the official sheet music, he'd had to go through several channels—but it would've been the perfect outlet. Plus, with performing rights he could rearrange it into a style that would be more of a ballad than a rock song and it would take care of a Regionals competition requirement since that competition was looming.

Maybe he should just start trying to write his own music. It would certainly be easier that way, if he could get the kids to perform it. That would have to be a project for another time, though. For now, it would all come out a little too rated-R.

He sighed as he peeked inside the choir room on his arrival. A few of the kids were milling about; Rachel and Finn appeared to be sharing an apple and some unbearably cute and slightly nauseating heavy flirting was going on; Sam had pulled his guitar out and was strumming something with Quinn and Mercedes sitting by and listening, chatting casually. Artie looked like he was just arriving.

Because he had taught these kids for the better part of two years, he could tell how things would come together in the next few minutes. Puck and Santana would probably emerge from somewhere (because it had been a while since they'd done this and they seemed to have a pattern), straightening clothes and hairdos and whatnot before they ran in either at or slightly after the bell, earning disgusted looks from Quinn. It had been an extra long time since she gave them an audible scoff, and he supposed that was good. Tina would come in and sit next to Artie until Brittany arrived, usually late but with a note on Sue's letterhead that gave a poor explanation for the tardiness. Schue thought Brittany's increasing refusal to do underhanded deeds (after, the way he understood it, Artie had plead with her and carefully explained exactly what was going on) was a reason for her to be detained doing some sort of physical makeup. Sue had a bunch of exercise equipment in her office and could likewise often be heard through her megaphone demanding, boot-camp style, that someone 'drop and give her 57.'

The number always changed. It seemed like it was getting higher.

Mike would come in and sit down somewhere between Brittany and Tina, open a leather folder and start discussing choreography with Brittany and her eyes would light up. Will usually took a little longer than necessary if it was a day Brittany was particularly late, because it was fun watching the dancers talk so happily about something simple that bonded them as friends.

If he didn't snap to it soon enough, Rachel would stand up and start leading them through warm-up exercises. Any mix and match of the group paid attention at any given time. He had watched Finn gradually go from staring off into space with a slightly pained expression to being the only one who consistently paid attention when she tried to warm up the group. Just another sign they were close to revisiting familiar territory.

His eyes looked over the group one last time. Now that Kurt was gone, he needed a guy he could pair with Mercedes. Where could he possibly find someone like that? He sighed and stepped into the room, all of them eyeing him and greeting him with silent but individual motions that he smiled in response to.

Well, even if he hadn't secured the rights to the song necessarily, he could still play it for his kids and use it to introduce next week's assignment. He debated briefly between the rock version, certain the band kids that came in with them and were in the process of getting set up would know it; or using the more subdued, acoustic version provided by a Dutch girl.

He was not feeling like he rocked today. The subdued version would have to do. Should he demand acoustic covers as part of the assignment? He'd never really done anything that specific before. He had always left it up to them.

He moved to the spot behind the piano, but Rachel and Finn were always there early, functioning as co-captains, and getting anything he'd needed prepared. The music scattered over the enamel top was well-organized and laid out according to his specifications after the previous class.

Not that he had a system anywhere near as hyper-detailed as Rachel's. That girl was a filing machine. At the same time, only she seemed able to understand how she'd classified everything. He had to stifle a laugh to realize that Finn was catching on, which meant he truly understood how Rachel's brain worked. That couldn't have been easy to learn and he wondered why all the other kids seemed to think Finn was stupid.

Once he saw Puck and Santana scramble into the room, he moved to the bench seat on the piano and immediately hushed them all with something he didn't usually do—playing and singing to greet them. He poured his heart out in the song, almost forgetting where he was; that was exactly how he was going to word their assignment, too. He loved how it always came to him with a song.

I've been roaming around,

I was looking down at all I see

Painted faced filled the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody.

Someone like you, and all you know and how you speak

Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, oh-oh oh-oh

Someone like you oh-oh oh-oh

Off in the night,

While you live it up I'm off to sleep

Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat

I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me, oh-oh oh-oh

Someone like me, oh-oh, oh-oh yeah

I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready now

Oh, someone like me

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see…

He let the last chord die on the piano, effectively trailing off after the particularly emotional song. He stayed on the bench, but turned to face them. All of them were watching him silently. He cleared his throat.

"What does that song, sung that way, mean to you?"

"Isn't that Kings of Leon?" Puck supplied dryly.

"They wrote it," Schue said. "There's a Dutch-American girl named Laura Jansen who covered it and I used her version. That's not my point, though."

"It's about loneliness," Quinn offered. "Wanting someone who is very unlike you to notice you."

He really wanted to miss the way her eyes casually landed to her right and on the back of Puck's head, just for a flash of an instant. There were some couples he hoped worked it out and other couples he hoped knew it wouldn't work and would leave it be.

"Good," Will said gently. He smiled. "It's a little different sentiment than most people are expressing this time of year."

"Yeah, Valentine's Day is still just a bunch of made up bullshit," Santana offered.

"And that word isn't on our vocabulary list this week," Schue joked weakly. "But I happen to agree with you. However, I know that the majority of your classmates do not feel the same way, so our assignment for next week is going to be an individual one."

Santana's face crumpled a little. "Are there enough Valentines songs for all of us to sing one?"

Schue shook his head. "That's not exactly what I'm after. The theme of the week will be 'Pouring your Heart Out'. Is there something you've been meaning to say? Wanting but not asking for?" He pointed in Puck's direction. "Nothing sexually explicit. We've discussed your limits."

Puck smirked and folded his arms tightly against his chest, but didn't say a word.

Brittany hesitated a little and raised her hand. Schue pointed at her, knowing her well enough to know she literally would not speak until he called on her in this instance. "What if I asked for everything I wanted for Christmas?"

Will smiled. He couldn't help it. That particular remark was tame but you just never knew exactly what you were going to get when Brittany raised her hand. "Well, think of something loving you could say to maybe Artie or Santana… or any other friend you might have a message for."

Brittany nodded, and turned to ask Artie a question but her whisper was more of a stage whisper than an actual whisper. "Are there any songs about blow jobs you like?"

This sent the room into a bit of an uproar. Puck was making suggestions, Quinn was shaking her head and trying furiously to explain to Brittany that love and sex weren't the same thing. Mercedes was laughing her big, awesome laugh and grabbing her phone to text Kurt about it. Rachel had turned to Finn and said something that made his face turn tomato-red. Will shook his head. He didn't even want to know.

"All right!" Will said, determined to get them back under control. He finally had to do a double-finger whistle in the corners of his mouth to call the room back to order. "Other items of business," he mentioned. "We still need a good ballad for Regionals." He cautiously looked over at Rachel, but she was still so busy teasing Finn she hadn't even noticed. And he was still red.

Good God. This assignment might actually kill him because he would vomit himself right to death on all their lovesickness and lame flirting. He kind of wished for a fleeting moment he could remember what it felt like to be sixteen years old, feeling like you actually had game because a pretty girl asked you to a dance. That all seemed so foreign to him now. He wished it could be that simple again. Then again, with his inside track to these kids, he knew their lives were anything but simple, exactly.

"So if anyone has any ideas, let me know. I left the filing room unlocked and the digital catalogue is all set up, so go ahead and see if you can think of what you'd like to do. Does anyone have this week's assignment left to perform before we go?" He looked around absently; he already knew they had all done their assignment, a co-ed mashup. But still nothing they could use for Regionals even though everyone had done very well.

One of two things was going to happen with the latest assignment: either he'd get something they could use immediately or he'd be so annoyed with the holiday he wouldn't care and could drink himself into a stupor over the holiday weekend.