All's fair

Chapter 18: Breaking Point

Seven months later:

It was raining, hard. It was raining so hard he could barely make out the white lane dividers on the '5'. Luckily, hardly anyone was on the freeway, heading south. Going north was another matter. He never was able to get used to the traffic patterns in California. The rhythm of his windshield wipers was beginning to make him drowsy, with good reason. It was a quarter till midnight, and he'd been up since four this morning. He had attended this month's mandatory Systems Administration meeting in L.A. Then a group of them had gone out to dinner, then to a club. He knew he had a long drive home, so had not had anything stronger than coffee to drink. But, even with all that caffeine, he was still tired.

He was heading back home… back to his almost new, repossessed and foreclosed on condo he'd purchased in Oceanside, just north of San Diego. He never would have been able to afford owning anything in a place like Oceanside a couple of years ago. Now, the quantity of foreclosures had driven the market down so much they were much cheaper than rent.

He glanced at an upcoming exit sign; 'Tustin Next 7 exits'. That woke him up. He began reminiscing about his recent 'Sam' adventures that mostly took place within a mile of where he was at the moment. When Sam left him the first time, all those years ago, he was devastated. That single act had put him on this path. The second time she had left, after she found out how he had manipulated her and her 'friends', he was hurt. But, he was able to deal with it easy enough. The third time he was angry; he'd been used and he hadn't figured it out until it was all over. He should have seen it coming after she left the second time. Sam didn't leave because of the way he had found her. She'd left because it was possible that he had found out too much. He may have figured out how to ruin the plans that she and Andy had begun to carry out. That's also the reason she needed saving... the cut brake line, the gas in her apartment. She and Andy needed him to believe that he was her knight in shining armor. And it had worked...

The third time was also what changed him, he thought to himself. He'd been morose, angry that he had been fooled so easily. Fortunately, it had changed the way he did things; changed his outlook. After about a week of some minor depression, he'd decided that he was the one that needed to change. He had switched jobs first; returning to the Systems Analysis and Administration job he had done when he was just out of school. He was still with the same corporation, but this job actually challenged him. The pay was much better, and he was able to mostly work from home. He liked that… it cut down on many 'temptations' that occurred in a retail setting. He knew he was still no angel, not by any means. Now he was just more selective of the women he went with. He chuckled when he thought of another improvement to this new lifestyle… he wasn't searched out and beaten by enraged husbands or boyfriends. That was a real plus.

With the increase in pay he was able to purchase a condominium. He liked owning his home. Sure, he was making payments, but now the money went for something. He thought that after five or six years he may be able to actually afford a house.

Some jackass zipped off an on ramp, came over two lanes, and then slowed down to a crawl right in front of him. That popped Freddie out of his reverie… he slowed, moved to the middle lane, and passed the idiot with a glare that the fool would never be aware of. He scanned his instrument panel and noticed he needed gas… he really needed gas. Damn… he did not feel like pulling off the freeway, but he knew he had too.

He was out of the Tustin area, but he knew there was a gas station at the Jeffery Road turnoff in Irvine just ahead. He took the off ramp, wound around Walnut Avenue, crossed Jeffery Road and then pulled into the gas station.

The place was nearly deserted. He pulled out his ATM card, swiped it in the pump and began pumping his gas. He was getting just a bit damp, not wet… damp. The roof over the pumps kept most of the rain away, but not all. He sat back in his warm car to escape both the rain and the cold wind. He watched as an old beat up Chrysler pulled into the station, and then continued around to the back of the cashier's kiosk at the rear of the lot. After a moment a heavily tattooed young woman knocked at the door on the side of the kiosk. It opened and tattoo girl went in. Freddie looked at his watch; midnight.

'Shift change' Freddie thought.

The gas nozzle 'thumped' off. He got out of his car, removed the nozzle and was in the process of placing it back in its cradle when he noticed the blond woman coming out of the kiosk. He thought her hair looked a lot like Sam's, but blonds in Southern California are pretty much a dime a dozen. His interest waned and he resumed staring at the pump, waiting for it to print his receipt.

Tattoo girl stuck her head out of the door and called to the woman, then asked her a brief question. He couldn't quite make out what tattoo girl had said, and frankly, didn't give a damn… his attention had become riveted on the obviously pregnant blond… a very pregnant Sam.

The receipt had printed; he grabbed it and slid into his car, ducking down slightly. Sam had answered tattoo girls question, opened a tattered and torn umbrella, and continued across the gas station lot. She turned right at the sidewalk and continued. He watched as she made her way down the dark sidewalk. After a moment, he moved the car out from under the gas islands roof, and parked next to the grass strip separating the sidewalk from the gas station. Sam trundled on towards a deserted bus stop awash in light. Freddie pulled his car back onto the street and parked again at the curbside, facing the bus stop. She was about a block ahead of him, nearly at the bus stop when she stopped and pulled her light coat around herself, and then continued on to the bus stop and sat on the bench.

He pulled away from the curb slowly, a million thoughts running through his mind. 'I can just drive away…' he thought. But he knows he won't. He could drive up to the bus stop, roll down his window and berate her… tell her she got what was coming to her… or just pull up, roll down the window and laugh at her until she realized who he was, then drive away.

He liked the thought of that idea… it was cruel, and she had it coming.

While all the thought processes had been occurring he had continued to drive toward the bus stop. Now he was there. He stopped, rolled down the window and was just beginning to let out a loud guffaw at her expense, when he noticed something…

She was shivering.

Cold, scared… he wasn't sure, maybe both. But she was shivering and staring into the window of the car parked in front of her with a quizzical look.

He lost his former resolve.

"Sam!" He yelled.

Suddenly she grimaced, shook her head and stared back at him.

"Fuck off, Benson… just go away!" She yelled back.

"Just… just get over here, get in the car… it's warm at least, and dry." He said in a resigned tone.

"What, so you can laugh at me? So you can tell me how stupid I was? Go away Freddie, I have enough problems without you shoveling more at me." She said acidly.

"Sam, I could easily do that through the window… if I do decide to do that, at least you could get yelled at while warm and dry. Just… damn it Sam, quit being so damn independent! Get in the fucking car!" Freddie yelled.

She got up, stomped over, opened the door and wedged herself into the passenger seat. Freddie turned up the heat and raised the window.

"Listen asshole, if you think I'm going to just sit here and wait for you to yell at me… you've got another think coming. Just get it over with, so I can go back and wait for my bus." Sam said resignedly to the windshield.

"What happened?" Freddie asked quietly.

Sam turned her head slowly to face him; "Like you give a shit…" She shot back.

"Sam! If you're going to sit there and act like a raving bitch… what happened?" Freddie growled back.

Sam burst into tears. Freddie had been ready for almost any reaction from her, except this. In all their time together, this had never happened. Oh, he knew she had a few crying spells before. She had always hidden them from him. He was at a loss as to what to do. He reached across the console and gave her a sideways hug, which was about the best he could do in his car.

After a few minutes, she settled down and ranted for a moment about all the hormone crap that went along with being pregnant.

"…it seems all I can do anymore is bawl or pee! Which I need to do now… pee I mean. There's a restroom in the kiosk, will you drive me over?"

Freddie nodded, put the car in gear and pulled back into the gas station lot. Parking next to the door he had seen her exit earlier, Sam opened the door and got out. Turning back, before she closed the door she asked;

"Will you be here when I get back?"

"Yeah, I will…" He replied.

She nodded, closed the car door and knocked on the kiosk door. In a moment, tattoo girl opened it and Sam went inside.

Freddie stared at the kiosk door for a moment. Thoughts were racing through his mind; He had her where he could ruin her… he could just drive away. She would never come to find him… never. She had it coming… she had lied to him, abandoned him… why should he even try with her. This could be the final thing between them… he would win. He could look back on this moment for the rest of his life and think he had finally got back at the bitch… He put the car in gear…

The bus drove up to the bus stop, slowed, and continued on. He slipped the gearshift back into 'Park' and shook his head. The kiosk door opened, Sam stepped out, opened the car door and got in.

"Thanks… I really didn't expect you to be here… so thanks for that." She said.

"The bus came…" He said.

Sam faced the dash, and nodded.

"Look, I can get you home. Are you staying at Andy's?" he asked.

Sam snorted. "No… After we called you, we went to a hotel near the airport. Andy said we had a flight to Italy early the next morning. So, we get up early, catch the flight, and have a stopover in Miami. That's where I met his 'niece'. Oh yeah, sure… his niece. She was some nineteen or twenty year old drop dead gorgeous bitch… I could see the handwriting on the wall. Anyway, you can imagine what happened next. We had a huge fight in the middle of the Miami International Airport concourse. Security comes; blah blah… you get the picture. The best thing that happened there was I was left in a room alone with his sport coat for about five minutes. I grabbed his stuff out of the coat, his phone, a kind of expensive watch and about six hundred dollars cash. I told the security folks that all I wanted to do was to get away from him… I just wanted to go home. They let me go and I came back here. I'd quit my job… and really didn't want to go back there incase they ever figured out the stuff I did with those insurance policies… so here I am, broke… then I found out I was pregnant. So, that's it. That's where good ole Sam is now… happy?"

"No… how… I mean, you know… pregnant and all." Freddie asked.

"Well hun, you don't get like this from a box of Fruit Loops, do ya…" Sam answered caustically.

Freddie shook his head. "So, where is home, Sam?"

"I'm staying at Our Lady of something or other… a home for unwed mothers. It's an old hospital a bunch of nuns run. I've got a bed on the third floor. I don't have a home, but I have a place to sleep." Sam replied.

Freddie didn't answer. He stared straight ahead for a moment, put the car in gear and pulled back onto the street.

"Hey, this is the wrong way!" Sam said excitedly.

"What's left at the place you're staying, the home? Is there anything worth going after?" Freddie asked.

"What the… what do you think you're doing?" Sam yelled.

"Just answer the question. Do you have anything…?" Freddie started.

"NO! Just some socks and underwear and such… a pair of sweats, I've got everything I own here in my backpack, but what do you think…" Sam yelled back.

"That's just it, Sam. I'm thinking, since you obviously don't. I have a spare room; you can have it for as long as you want, Stay there, have the kid, and get back on your feet… we'll figure it out later… I really don't know, I must be fucking insane… but that is what I'm doing…" He stopped at the entrance to the on ramp "…The last time I checked, we're not exactly 'mom and dad' material, and we're both pretty fucked up in the head. But it doesn't mean that the kid has to be that way. So come, stay at my place or get out of the car, and don't look back." He said.

"Fine, take me to your place." She said glaring at him.

"Good, but we do need to make a stop on the way…" He replied.

Her glare continued. By the time he pulled into the parking lot of the twenty four hour Target Store, she was asleep. He left her in the car, and picked up some sweats, underwear, slippers, shoes, socks, toothbrush and any other necessitates he thought she would need until he could bring her back tomorrow.

She was still asleep when he pulled into his parking spot at home and gently nudged her awake.

"We're here, my place. I'm on the second floor, but I'll help you get upstairs. C'mon…" He said helping her out of the car.

Sam sat on a couch that was much to low for her to get out of now. She was pissed… she hated having to be helped just getting around now, stairs, low chairs… She was also very touched. She had expected the worst from Freddie. She still wasn't sure why he was doing this. 'Maybe he's just waiting for me to be the most vulnerable…' she mused.

He had enthroned her on the couch and told her to rest while he went back to the car to pick up the things he had purchased. 'As if she had a choice, sitting on the couch / prison.' She thought. He returned in a bit, carrying a number of 'Target' bags.

"We went to Target? That's my favorite store? Why didn't you wake me up? I have a little money, I need a few things." She said.

"You were snoozin'… and I hope this stuff fits. I have some groceries too… I need to put them away. Go through the stuff and tell me how awful I did. We can go back later today after we get some sleep and get anything else you'll need and exchange my mistakes." He said grinning.

She watched him walk away into the kitchen with a couple of bags. She could feel it coming on… damn, she hated being like this. She opened the first bag. The shoes were too small for her now swollen feet. They could be returned though. She sat that bag aside and picked up the next… sweats, that would fit. The first tear slid down her cheek and dripped on the sweatshirt. By the time she had gotten through about half the bags she had a full on sobbing fest going on.

Freddie walked back to the front room, sat down and held her as she sobbed into his shirt. Finally, she pushed him away.

"Why! Why would you do this? After all…" She broke again… Freddie could see her 'crumple'. In a way, he liked the fact that she was 'awash in that old sea of guilt'. He decided she needed a little more time floating around in that ocean. He didn't say a thing. She ranted; raved and wailed… he would nod at the appropriate times, and let her go on.

He saw this as the breaking of a wild mare… if it worked, it would be his finest, and final manipulation. If it didn't… well, he would cross that bridge when he got there. She finally ran down, exhausted; she lay back on the couch.

"Okay, here's why. First, what are the chances of this kid being mine?" He asked.

Sam stared at him for a moment before she answered; "…ninety percent, or better." She replied.

Freddie smiled, then continued; "I've always been there, bailed you out of your screw ups… this is just another of those, but it's kind of a major one. Now you're messing with what is very probably my child… Look, having a kid is expensive… I don't mean raising it, I mean just having it. Doctors, hospitals… it all adds up. My bet is that you don't have a dime for any of that. Yeah, the 'home' would foot the bill but what kind of care do they provide? Why are you out working in some gas station until all hours? I can fix that, but you may not like the method. I just bought this place, I don't have any money lying around at the moment, but, I have health insurance… it covers everything…"

He paused; afraid to go on, but… here is where he finds out if he did break her, if she will finally…

"…but it's only for me and my wife. For the insurance to work, we have to be married."

She stared at him wide eyed, her jaw dropped but she said nothing.

"I picked these up at the jewelers counter… their just some simple, cheap gold bands… want it?" He asked showing her the plastic box they were in.

He noticed a tear threading its way down her cheek. She held out her arms and said; "…help me up." He stood, took her arms and pulled, she used this leverage to push him back onto the couch and bury herself into the crook of his neck, and bawl.

The baby bump was, well, uncomfortable for him with her lying on top of him. He shifted a bit to make both of them more comfortable all the while she was soaking his shoulder with tears. He began to rub her back.

"So… is this a yes?" He asked after a while.

She nodded her head, still buried in the crook of his neck.

"Then, say it…" He told her.

She raised herself up, looked him in the eye, and whispered; "Yes…"

She was broken, he thought. It had worked. He smiled, and hugged her.

"So, when?" Sam asked wiping her face and nose on his sleeve.

"Monday, at the County Clerks… quick and simple… okay?" He replied grinning.

She nodded. "Take me to bed… I'm sorry, but I'm so tired and my feet are killing me." She said quietly.

"Um… are you sure? I mean…" he asked gently rubbing her belly.

"Well, no sex you nub! I'm kind of off limits there for a while. But, I'll be back in a few months… you'll find out" She said smiling. "But, would you mind holding me? That… I really miss that." Sam continued.

Fourteen months later:

Little Claire was toddling around the back yard, under the watchful eyes of her mom. Freddie had just finished putting away the lawn mower after tidying up the yard. Everyone was excited; Claire's first birthday was in two days and the whole fam damily was flying out to California… Mel, her husband Jon, and their broodlings. Carly and whoever she was seeing this week… her goofy brother… even the grandmom's… They would all be here tomorrow. Freddie had fleeting thoughts about inventing a business meeting somewhere far away… then walked up behind Sam and gave her a good grope, along with a kiss on the nape of her neck.

She turned, feigning outrage, and then grabbed his shirt, saying "…you just wait until the baby's nap time mister. You'll pay for that!" And then she kissed him.

Freddie sat in a lawn chair, watching his family… thinking how lucky it was that Claire looked like a mini Sam, and thinking back on all the 'other' old times. He'd done it. He'd broken her… but in a good way. She had no secrets, he had two… two very large secrets. He chuckled…

The first secret was about Andy. Oh yeah, good ole Andy. Sam had indeed made off with his phone when she robbed his coat in Miami. He'd found it at the bottom of her backpack a few days after they got back together. Maybe it was the day they got married… he couldn't quite remember. He was sure Andy would have changed his number, and all that stuff when he discovered his phone was gone, and he had. Freddie's bet was that Globalstar, the satellite phone company Andy was with, hadn't changed his account, just his number. Freddie was right. After a few hours he had found and cleaned out Andy's Deutsche Bank account and transferred it back to a blind account. After a few more tricks, Freddie had nearly eight hundred thousand dollars sitting in an account that only he could access. He'd paid off the condo, bought them each cars; a minivan for Sam, and a pickup for him. When they had needed more room, he bought this nice little place and rented the condo. He still had about three hundred thousand in the bank. He'd told Sam he had gotten some inheritance. She bought it without question, especially since it meant she didn't have to work. The piece de resistance was hitting Andy's phone records with a bunch of fake phone calls, seeming to out members of the Russian Mafia. Next, he posted those calls on a number of public media sites. Those folks play rough… Andy hadn't been heard from for a while.

The second secret was huge. Long before getting back together with Sam, almost eight years ago in fact, he had gotten a scare. One of his 'girlfriends' at the time called and told him she was pregnant. That was bad… she was just some hookup, she was married, and he really wanted nothing to do with her. Then everything was okay… she wasn't preggo, just late. That had scared him though - it had been a rough couple of days… so, he'd had a vasectomy. Yep, he was shootin' blanks… There is no way Claire was his, but Sam was, and Claire was as good as… neither of them would ever know. He'd take that to the grave.

Why? Well, because… All's fair…

-fini-

= All's fair =

Thanks to the Earl of Sandwich for some incredible ideas for this

chapter, and to KingxLeon21 for editing and putting up with me!

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