All right, so this is a Bellamort parody I wrote with the awesome APieceOfGumIsNotStuckInMyHair. We both are diehard Bellamort fans and we were discussing the scary, OOC, disgusting stuff people can turn this awesome ship into, and then we started coming up with examples trying to make the other throw up, and somewhere along the line we decided that publishing it would actually be pretty funny, so here you go :D

Feel free to flame; it would make us laugh even harder. But feel free to review positively, too, because honestly, I wouldn't say that for a fic only my own, but that stuff we came up with is frighteningly good :D

Lots of love to the readers. You are brave, brave people. (hands brain bleach) Please don't puke all over the review button. This website messes up often enough as it is.

PS: The first chapter is kinda short, we know, but… consider it a taster.
Or, rather, a warning.

Voldemort kissed his daughter's pink little belly before setting her back in her green-and-silver crib. He then grabbed the radiant mother by the waist and started licking her Dark Mark sexily before kissing her tenderly. They retreated to their bed for hours of slow, soft love.

The next morning Bellatrix was awakened by Voldemort kissing her lips softly. 'Good morning, beautiful', he said. She smiled, and rolled on top of him. He grinned, and were just about to kiss her when Mary-Sue began crying softly. They were by her side in an instant, worry carved into their faces. Thankfully, though, Mary-Sue stopped crying at the sight of them, instead she beamed adorably. She was stunning with her shiny red eyes and the messy curls: she could make any werewolf melt with devotion.
Voldemort giggled upon seeing his tiny daughter reach out to him, wrapping her little fingers around his spidery hand. Such a curious and clever child - he wouldn't doubt that at age eleven, she would be ready to take the Mark and learn the fine art of torturing and killing from her highly skilled parents. His snaky face broke into a huge grin, he picked up the girl and held her tight.
Suddenly, their marks burned.

Are you poor readers all right? If you are, then please tell us exactly how horrible this was through the Review button.