Hey, here's a new Thomas parody story by me. It's quite random, but I hope you enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Thomas the Tank Engine. It belongs to HIT Entertainment.

Thomas the Tank Engine was puffing along his branch line with Annie and Clarabel. The sun was up in a bright blue sky, shining over the Island of Sodor and annoying a couple of people who hated lovely weather for some reason. It did not annoy Thomas, though. He was happy, and he felt like it was going to be a good day. Some of the passengers on board Annie and Clarabel, however, were hoping it would be an annoying day for him.

Having no idea of this, Thomas pulled into Elsbridge station. As soon as he had come to a stop, Annie and Clarabel's doors were opened and the passengers jumped down from them, complaining about their train ride. There had not been any problems, but they had nothing better to do, since they were so miserable and they liked to grumble a lot.

Looking towards one of the other platforms, Thomas smiled as he saw Percy was parked there, having just pulled two mail trucks to the station. Some of the mail bags were being unloaded from the trucks by three porters, who were taking their time, since they were so lazy. They hated their jobs, so they did not concentrate on what they were doing.

"Hello, Percy!" Thomas whistled cheerfully. "Been on the mail run, have you?"

"Yes, I have, Thomas! I loved taking the mail around Sodor, and I can't wait to start off again to go to the next station to drop off my next load of letters and parcels!"

Percy was very eager to puff around Sodor with his mail trucks, even though it was not really different to taking passengers. The only difference is – obviously - letters and parcels do not talk.

"Been doing your branch line run, have you?" Percy asked Thomas.

"Well, of course I have. What other jobs would you expect me to do, other than shunt, pull goods trains, join you on your mail runs and do lots of other jobs besides running my branch line? I've enjoyed taking these passengers to where they've needed to go, and I know that they've loved travelling with me, Annie and Clarabel."

Percy could hear the passengers say nasty things and whatever insult they could come up with about Thomas and his coaches. He thought about telling Thomas the truth, but decided not to. He knew it would hurt his feelings, and he did not want to do that. Almost all of the time, Percy was nice to his best friend, as well as to Edward and Toby. He was never nice to Gordon, James and Henry, however, which was a reason why most of the time, the big engines hated him.

"I'll enjoy taking the next of passengers to the next station," grinned Thomas happily. "I hope you'll enjoy taking the mail to the next station, Percy."

Percy looked at the porters, noticing they were taking their time. He glared, getting impatient. Most engines would not care that they would be late with the mail, as it did not matter to them. They would be glad of a long rest. Percy, however, wanted to get going. He wanted to deliver the mail on time, even though it meant finishing the job sooner, which would be a silly thing to do if he loved delivering the mail. The reason he did not want to be late, however, was not because he cared about people getting their letters. The reason was because he was scared of how angry the Fat Controller would be. The other engines, if they were late with the mail, would not care and would just be late again. That was the reason why the Fat Controller always scared Percy into delivering the mail, although that did not stop the little, green engine from enjoying his job.

"I sure hope you enjoy taking your passengers, Thomas," Percy said in a slightly loud voice so as to drown out the grumbling of the complaining passengers. He was hoping Thomas would not hear them, which he could not. The passengers became even more annoyed, for they wanted Thomas to hear their insults. They tried shouting above Percy, but only hurt their voices.

Thomas was just about to puff away (even though the guard had not blown his whistle, there were no passengers on board and he had not even said 'goodbye' to Percy) when Diesel rolled into the station, facing the two engines. He stopped at the empty platform between where Thomas and Percy were parked. The evil diesel gave the two tank engines a stupid sneer that he thought was making him look scary. "What have we got here? Two stupid steam engines!"

"Is that the best insult you can come up with, Diesel?" Thomas muttered in a voice full of boredom, rolling his eyes.

"You can't come up with a better insult than me!" Diesel jeered, thinking he was smart.

"I can!" Percy peeped. "You, Diesel, have got a face like a…um…er…"

While Percy tried to think of an insult, Diesel laughed stupidly. "See? You stupid steam engines can't come up with any insult, never mind one as good as mine."

"Yes, I can," huffed Percy angrily, glaring hard at Diesel. "Um…you've got a face like a…a pig! There!"

Diesel frowned at how stupid Percy's insult was. "What makes you say that, Percy? I look nothing like a pig. You must be dumb to think that."

"I said that, because you do look like a pig – and you told me to come up with an insult."

"There will be no throwing insults on my railway!" snapped a stern voice, which happened to belong to the Fat Controller. He stepped down from Diesel's cab and looked at Thomas and Percy. "Though I have to say, Diesel came up with the best insults. Calling him a pig was a silly thing to do, Percy. He looks nothing like a pig."

Diesel chuckled and gave Thomas and Percy a wider and stupider grin. Percy looked down sadly, feeling useless, since he could not come up with a better insult. Thomas, however, took no notice.

The Fat Controller walked along the platform. He stood by Thomas and gave him a serious expression before turning to Percy – scaring him a bit. "Now listen up, you two. I need you both to go to the coaling plant. You need to shunt some trucks full of coal, then deliver them back here."

Thomas was surprised and confused. "But, Sir, I have to run my branch line."

"And I have to deliver the mail, Sir." Percy was growing even more worried. He thought that if he did not deliver both the mail and coal on time, the Fat Controller would be even scarier than he could imagine, since for him, the two jobs would be impossible to complete at once.

"It's alright. It doesn't matter about the passengers and the mail." The Fat Controller raised his left hand up, waving it. He did not care at all about people not getting to their destinations or receiving their mail. For some reason, he was more concerned about the coal. "Just get the coal and bring it back here. I'll be waiting for you both."

The Fat Controller then walked along the platform and away from the two engines. Percy was feeling relieved, as he no longer had to worry about meeting a scary Fat Controller. He was sure he and Thomas would deliver the coal on time, even though they had not even left the station yet.

Thomas, however, was feeling a little worried. He thought his passengers would not be able to get to their destinations on time if he had to go to fetch coal. He was about to tell Percy he could not do the job, but a shunter, who had just been standing like an idiot on the platform, doing absolutely nothing, uncoupled Annie and Clarabel. The two coaches were not happy. They did not want Thomas to leave them behind with the ungrateful people they had just carried, who were standing on the platform and throwing insults at them.

The porters who were unloading Percy's mail trucks had heard the Fat Controller give the two engines their orders, and they were thrilled. One of them quickly uncoupled the trucks from Percy, then they ran away from the station as quickly as they could. They did not care about the mail. They thought they were now free to go home, even though it was not their home time. The stupid men still had lots of jobs to do for the rest of the day, but they did not give one of them a thought.

Percy started to puff out of the station, leaving his half-full mail trucks behind. Deciding to do what the Fat Controller had told him, Thomas puffed away with a sigh, leaving Annie and Clarabel behind to sulk. Diesel, who did not have anything better to do, decided to go with the two engines. Since he was facing the opposite direction as them, he had to go in reverse, which would mean if any engines were on the same line as him, he would come off the rails.

Thomas and Percy were not happy to have Diesel following them. Percy whistled in annoyance. "Don't you have any jobs to do, Diesel?"

"Nah, not really," Diesel answered, still rolling backwards. He was still sneering just as stupidly as before.

"Can't you run Thomas' branch line for him or deliver the mail for me?" Percy asked, his suggestion causing Thomas to silently panic. He was afraid that when he would return, Diesel would have turned Annie and Clarabel into a pile of scrap.

"No way!" Diesel answered angrily, horrified at Percy's suggestion. He thought it was a terrible idea (nice engines would like the idea, but he was not nice). "No way am I ever going to help a pair of stupid steam engines! Forget it! I'm gonna do my favourite thing!"

"What's that? Crash into as many things as you can until you explode?" Thomas chuckled.

"No, my favourite thing is going around, bullying a few steam engines."

"That isn't nice!" Percy whined with a pout.

"'Course it's not nice," Diesel sniggered, "it's meant to make you miserable."

"You won't make us miserable," Thomas glared at Diesel, defending Percy. "We're not scared of an idiot like you!"

Diesel laughed loudly, both to sound evil and to get on the two engines' nerves. "Idiot! I guess that's the best insult you can come up with, Thomas!"

"Hey! Idiot is a good insult!" Percy squeaked angrily. He wanted to defend Thomas, like he had defended him. Percy thought he was being very brave, even though Diesel was not a threat to him, Thomas or to anyone, as he was a useless villain that could not carry out any threat he made, since he was really a coward. Only Percy could not see that fact.

Diesel rolled his eyes, a stupid smirk still on his face. "Well, I suppose it's a good word to describe you, Percy."

"No!" Percy yelled loudly, getting more and more offended by the coward's insults. "It describes you,Diesel!"

"I think you fail to notice, stupid steam engine," Diesel sneered, using the same rubbish insult as before, "that I'm smart."

Thomas snickered to himself. He knew Diesel was the exact opposite of what he claimed to be. "If you're so smart, Diesel, why are you travelling to the coaling plant – backwards?"

"Well – how the heck was I supposed to turn around at Elsbridge station?" Diesel suddenly bellowed in anger, taking Thomas and Percy by surprise. "I was facing away from the coaling plant, and since you two had to go straight there, I couldn't go to find a turntable! I had to follow you straight away so that I could make fun of you all the way! Now if you ask me any more stupid questions, you'll make me really angry!"

Percy began to tremble, feeling very frightened. He was very sure a really angry Diesel would be very scary. Thomas was not a bit scared. He did not care if Diesel turned really angry. He knew that a really angry Diesel was no different to the stupid, idiotic and cowardly Diesel he knew.

The three engines soon arrived at the coaling plant, coming to a stop. There were many trucks all over the place, but not one of them was filled with coal. Thomas and Percy sighed glumly. They knew it meant they had a lot of shunting to do.

"Don't enjoy your shunting, stupid steam engines," Diesel grinned wickedly at the two tank engines.

"Well, since you're here, Diesel," sighed Thomas, hoping he and Percy would not have to put up with watching Diesel rest and insult them while they did all the work, "why don't you help us?"

Diesel's grin faded as a furious frown appeared on his face. "No way, Thomas! You're not giving yourselves less work by making me do some of your job! I don't have any work to do, so I'm not gonna volunteer to do any. I'm especially not gonna help you two!"

"Do you want me to throw some coal at you?" Thomas snapped angrily.

Instantly upon hearing the threat Thomas made, Diesel froze. For the first time that day, he had a horrified look on his face. He looked terrified of the thought of having coal thrown at him. Thomas could tell he was frightened. The little, blue engine smirked to himself.

"Come on, Thomas," Percy puffed, steaming forward. "I'll fill up the trucks, then I'll shunt them to you for them to be arranged."

Soon, Percy had lined up five trucks, who were all having a good grumble, as they did not want to be filled. Percy took no notice and pulled them backwards towards the hopper for them to be loaded with coal. Thomas was waiting nearby, doing absolutely nothing for the time being.

Percy stopped with the truck coupled right in front of him under the hopper. As he was looking up at the hopper, waiting for the coal to come down, he did not see Diesel roll up quietly to the other end of the line of trucks, making a plan to make Percy look silly.

A workman was standing nearby, not looking at the waiting trucks. As soon as he pulled the chain that hung from the hopper, coal poured into the waiting truck. Percy watched the truck behind loaded – then he heard a bang coming from the other end of the line of trucks. He felt himself and his trucks then being pushed backwards, and he gave a cry of fright. Due to coal that was falling out of the hopper and now spilling around the trucks, making a mess, he could not see Diesel at the other end, pushing him and the trucks, stopping just before where the coal was falling.

Having heard Percy's cry, the workman looked behind him. Since Diesel had now stopped and the truck in front of him was being filled, everything looked normal to the workman – apart from the fearful expression on Diesel's face. Wondering what was going on, the workman let go the chain, which stopped the coal from falling out of the hopper. "What's going on?"

"Percy tried to pull me under the hopper and get me covered in coal!" Diesel lied, trying to sound as frightened as possible. "He knows I'm scared of it!"

"What?" Percy cried angrily, shocked by Diesel's lying. "I didn't! He pushed me and drove towards it!"

Diesel was not a very good actor, but for some reason, the workman believed him. He glared crossly at Percy. "How could you, Percy? Why would you do that to Diesel?"

"I didn't!" Percy argued, but the workman took no notice – same as how the big engines take no notice of Percy when he is right.

"I should pull Percy under the hopper and we should have him covered in coal," Diesel suggested to the workman, a smirk on his face. "Don't you?"

The workman, who did not seem to care that Diesel's plan would make a huge mess for him to clean up, nodded in agreement. Percy was horrified – even though coal was not something for him to be scared of, since he always carried it around in his bunker and burnt it inside his firebox.

Walking up to Diesel, the workman noticed that he was not coupled to the trucks, which should have told him that Percy was telling the truth, since he would not have been able to pull Diesel without him being coupled. Not realizing this, the workman picked up a shunter's pole, which was lying on the ground, and coupled Diesel to the line of trucks.

Sneering, Diesel started to pull Percy towards the hopper. Frightened, Percy tried to pull away, but the truck's couplings proved to be stronger than he was. Diesel pulled under Percy was right under the hopper. The workman grabbed hold of the chain.

Percy looked up at the hopper, his eyes widening in fear. He still attempted to pull away, but the coupling would not break. "Please! I didn't do it! Please don't pour coal on me!"

The workman was not sympathetic. He was a very nasty man, indeed. With a smirk, he pulled the chain, causing tons of coal to pour out of the hopper and all over Percy. Diesel laughed loudly and obnoxiously, watching the little, green engine getting cover in coal.

Sharing Diesel's hideous laugh, the workman let go of the chain. Coal stopped pouring over the hopper, but a big pile was underneath it, all over Percy. He was covered in coal dust and very cross. Diesel and the workman laughed, as did the trucks. Thomas did not laugh, however, as he had not been paying attention to a thing that had just been going on.

Later, Thomas was waiting with a line of loaded trucks coupled in front of him. Percy had been shunting them in front of him, and they had all been coupled together, ready for the two engines to pull them back to Elsbridge.

Thomas let off steam. He was waiting for Percy to bring him the last five trucks. "Come on, Percy. Shunt those trucks to the train, and then we can be on our way."

All of a sudden, Thomas heard a blast of a horn, which came from right in front of him. He looked ahead, and his eyes widened in shock as he saw Diesel racing as fast as he could towards him, pushing the last five trucks. Thomas gasped in fright as Diesel bumped him and the rest of the trucks with the ones he was pushing. Thomas was pushed backwards, and some of the coal in the truck in front of him flew into his face, one lump giving him a black eye. He only just managed to stay on the rails.

Diesel saw Thomas' black eye and laughed nastily, proving what an evil little bully he was. Thomas glared at him, trying not to cry from the pain his eye was going through. He then something bump into the back of him and cried out again, thinking it was Diesel – but then he remembered the evil bully was in front of him and he realized it was Percy, who had not been concentrating when he had gone to buffer up behind him.

The workman, who did not care how mean Diesel was being (he seemed to like him for some odd reason, which was probably because they both had stupid smirks), coupled the last five trucks to the rest of the train. He knew Diesel was not going to help Thomas and Percy, and he did not blame him. So he walked up to the two steam engines before coupling Percy to Thomas.

Letting off steam and blowing their whistles, Thomas and Percy started to puff backwards to leave the coaling plant. They hauled the heavy line of trucks with all their strength, even though they were not very strong.

Thomas looked up as he puffed back. He frowned to Diesel switch lines and roll alongside them on the line next to theirs. "Diesel, why don't you just leave us alone?"

"No! I still want to bully you, which is exactly what I am going to do - all the way back to Elsbridge!"

Diesel followed Thomas and Percy through the countryside. He would not stop making stupid insults and laughing hideously, trying to sound evil and frightening. He did not seem to realize how dumb he was making himself look. The two tank engines wanted to puff away from him, but the coal trucks slowed them down, for they were very heavy.

Noticing that the two steam engines were struggling with the train, Diesel laughed even louder – and far more annoyingly. "You two are so slow and weak – just like all other steam engines! I'm stronger than you all!"

"No you're not!" Thomas argued, knowing Diesel was blind to the fact he was nowhere near as fast or as strong as he thought. "Gordon is much faster and stronger than you, which is why he pulls the express!"

"Yeah – but have you noticed all Gordon wants to pull is coaches?" Diesel sneered. "That's because he knows he can't pull trucks without struggling. He'd be worse than you two at pulling those trucks you've got."

"Did you hear that, Thomas?" Percy gasped in joy, believing Diesel for some reason. "When it comes to pulling trucks, we're faster and stronger than Gordon."

"No we aren't, Percy. Diesel is just trying to fool us. He can fool you, because any engine can do that. He can't fool me, though," Thomas explained huffily before glaring crossly at Diesel. "If you're so strong and fast with trucks, why don't you show us? You pull these trucks and prove to us that you are stronger and faster than any steam engine!"

Diesel thought for a moment, then snickered, giving Thomas a wide grin. "Alright! I will!"

The three engines were coming up to a signal box and a set of points where the two lines joined. Diesel stopped before the points while Thomas and Percy puffed over them. They did not stop until the last truck in the train had cross them. The two steam engines stopped be the signal box, blowing their whistles.

The door to the signal box opened, and a grumpy-looking signalman walked out. He stood at the top of the stairs, glaring down at Thomas and Percy. "What do you idiots want? Why are you making a loud racket?"

"We weren't that loud," Percy murmured quietly, offended.

"We need Diesel to come onto our line!" Thomas called to the signalman, deliberately speaking as loud as he could. "Could you switch the points so that he can? It is your job, after all!"

"Fine," muttered the signalman crossly, feeling even more annoyed. He stepped back inside his signal box and pulled two of the levers that controlled the points. The two sets of points changed, connecting the rails on both lines.

Grinning to himself, Diesel rolled over the points. He rattled onto the same line as Thomas and Percy. He was just moving forward to be coupled to the trucks, when he looked ahead – and suddenly stopped. His jaw dropped in fright.

The trucks were rolling quickly towards him, for Thomas and Percy were pushing them with all their strength as fast as they could. Somehow, they were able to push the trucks faster than they could pull them, but neither of them noticed that strange fact. They just charged towards their enemy. Diesel, being the coward he really was, got ready to reverse away as fast as he could, but he was too late.

Before he had a chance to get away, the trucks smashed into him, breaking into pieces which flew everywhere, along with lots of coal. Diesel screamed in terror as coal poured out of the wreaked trucks, surrounding him. The signalman, startled by Diesel's scream, looked out of the window to see what the noise was – and had to duck in fright as a lump of coal flew towards the window and smashed its way through it. Along with pieces of the broken glass, it narrowly missed the frightened signalman.

Thomas and Percy finally stopped pushing and looked at what they had done. The trucks lay in a wreak, and there was a huge mess of coal in front of them which Diesel was up to his axels in. He spat out some coal dust that had gone into his mouth before making a disgusted cry.

The two steam engines began to laugh themselves silly. They were feeling very pleased with themselves. They did not care about the mess, damage or trouble they had caused.

"Guess you were partly right, Diesel!" Thomas shouted in between chuckles. "You were strong enough to at least break those trucks!"

"But you weren't fast enough to run away – pig-faced Diesel," Percy laughed, thinking it was a good time to use the insult he had come up with, despite the fact it did not relate to the situation. "So you can just stay here where everyone can have a good laugh at how stupid you are."

Diesel growled furiously as he watched Thomas and Percy reverse away up the line, still sharing a laugh at his expense. He looked around at the broken trucks and the coal that surrounded him. He felt that he was the reason villains had a bad name, since he had just been beaten by a pair of steam engines that he thought were stupid.

Inside the signal box, the signal man picked himself up and looked out of the broken window. He had heard Thomas and Percy's jeering toward Diesel, which had told him that they were the ones who had almost killed him. Quickly, he picked up the telephone in his signal box and dialled the number for the Fat Controller's office.

"We showed him, Thomas!" Percy grinned happily as he and his best friend reversed towards Elsbridge station.

"We sure did, Percy!" Thomas agreed, feeling very happy. "We've beaten Diesel! I bet everyone will be pleased with us!"

The two engines reversed into Elsbridge station, stopping beside one of the platforms. Annie and Clarabel and the mail trucks were still there, as were the same passengers that had been travelling in the coaches. They had spent the past hour continuing to make ridiculous complaints about their train journey, as well as taking mail from the trucks. Instead of opening it, however, they had been throwing it at each other, which was a very silly thing to do.

Thomas and Percy wondered why nobody was congratulating them for defeating Diesel. They saw the Fat Controller walk up to them. They thought he was going to praise them.

"Sir, did you hear about how Percy and I derailed Diesel?" Thomas asked, grinning in hope.

"Yes, I did, Thomas," the Fat Controller answered, not seeming to notice Thomas' black eye, "and I am very, very…angry with you both!"

"What?" Thomas and Percy gasped in unison. They were both shocked, as they had not been expecting to be in trouble.

The Fat Controller glared angrily at the two of them. "You are not supposed to derail other engines, even if they bully you! I cannot believe you two actually derailed Diesel – and you nearly killed one of my signalmen!"

Percy's eyes widened. He was unable to believe he and Thomas had almost taken a person's life, although he did not care about Diesel. "Sir, we did not mean-"

"And there's something else!" the Fat Controller yelled at the top of his voice. He seemed to really want to be heard and let the engines know they were in trouble. "Why were you two taking coal - when there were passengers and mail waiting?"

"Huh?" Thomas remarked in confusion. He knew exactly why he and Percy had taken coal, but not sure why the Fat Controller was asking such a question. "Sir, you told us to-"

"No, I did not! You had passengers and mail waiting! They are far more important, but you just went to deliver coal! Now everyone is angry!"

"Sir-"

"You will go and pull Diesel out of that mess you made!" the Fat Controller ordered sharply, the glare on his face deepening. "Then you will take him to the works."

Thomas and Percy were horrified at the job they had just been given. They did not want to help Diesel. Percy tried to argue. "Sir, we don't-"

"You will then collect the passengers and mail you should have delivered before, even though they are all now late!"

"Sir, we don't want to-" Thomas began.

"And after that, you will go and fetch the coal, since you went to get it – and didn't even bring it back here!"

"Sir-" Thomas and Percy said in unison.

"NOW!" the Fat Controller screamed loudly and manically, frightening everyone that was nearby.

Thomas and Percy were later puffing forwards towards the works. Percy was coupled behind Thomas, and behind him, a flatbed was coupled. Diesel was on the flatbed, having just been loaded onto it after the two steam engines had pulled him out of the mess of coal. There was no damage to him, so Thomas and Percy did not know why the Fat Controller was sending him to the works. They did know, however, that their controller would be very pleased to find out he would not have to pay a bill for repairs.

"Don't forget, Percy," puffed Thomas, "when we've dropped Diesel off at the works, I have to pick up my passengers and you have to deliver the mail."

"I know, Thomas," Percy replied, no longer feeling excited over the thought of delivering the mail. "When we've done those jobs, we then have to pick up more coal."

"And I expect you'll have to do my jobs I should have done, today," Diesel put in, grinning sinisterly. "I'll probably be at the works for a long time."

Hearing what Diesel had said, Thomas and Percy's eyes widened with disbelief. They were horrified to learn that Diesel should have left them alone and they should not have had him annoying them through the day.

"You had jobs to do, today?" Thomas cried angrily to Diesel.

"Why didn't you get with them?" Percy added in fury. "We wanted you to leave us alone!"

"I know you did," Diesel laughed smugly. "But I wasn't going to. I wanted to bully you both all day, which I have done."

"We won't be doing your jobs, Diesel," Thomas smirked, thinking he knew better. "The Fat Controller won't be pleased to know you didn't do your jobs. You'll soon be out of the works, since there's nothing wrong with you, and then he'll make you do them."

Diesel chuckled. "I'm afraid you two are going to be doing my jobs. I'll be at the works for a very long time, since they'll have to make sure I'm not damaged. While I'm having a nice rest, the Fat Controller will make you do my jobs as punishment for derailing me. He obviously likes me better."

Thomas and Percy sighed sadly in defeat while Diesel's stupid laughter grew louder. The diesel was very smug, as he had managed to make the two tank engines miserable, and he knew they would be for the next few weeks. It had been a triumphant day for Diesel.

It had been an annoying day, however, for Thomas and Percy.

Well, that's the story. As I said, it was kinda random. Really sorry if it wasn't that good.