So this is just a drabble. I was feeling sappy. One shot, no plot really... I'm trying to get How to Make Eggplant Icecream done but I seemed to be blocked on the story I shouldn't be blocked on :S

It's been 5 years. 5 years since my demonic butler helped me exact my revenge. 5 years since he refused to eat my soul. 5 years since he up and left my life without so much as a goodbye. 5 years since I've felt even a shred of happiness.

It was 5 years ago today, one would think that I would have been used to it by now. But I still wake up every morning expecting to find him standing there with tea pot in hand. Every single morning without fail when I first hear that knock upon my chamber door. Every single FUCKING morning I pray to a god I don't even believe in that it will be him standing on the other side. It never is. Never. Yet every morning I pull the tea cart into my own room, scowl at my clumsy maid and dress myself before eating.

Yes, I dress myself now. Ever since that day. I refuse to let anyone but him touch me, and my skin feels unearthly cold without the touch of that hellish being. 5 years. 5 long, torturous years of feeling like there was nothing but ice running through my veins, if anything at all. I feel so cold, so lonely, so empty.

For 5 years, I never shed a tear. But this morning, 5 years after he left without a trace; when I accidently button my buttons crooked, a tiny, wet droplet dangles on my lashes as I stare in the mirror at my mistake. And as it falls to the floor, the facade I've held for 5 years slips to the carpet with it, and I collapse. I'm done, I'm DONE with all this loneliness! I can't do it anymore! Everything is pointless without him here by my side. I want him here. I need him here. I need him. I love him.

Sebastian, PLEASE. Come back.

I am of course, not one to think of ever taking my own life. But I wish someone else would. Especially right now. All that numbness I'd build up over the last 5 years has shattered and I can feel nothing but soul-splitting pain. I don't know what I did wrong. Why did you leave me, Sebastian? If you didn't want my soul, you should have TOLD me! ... Because I would have given anything else, EVERYTHING else, just for you to stay with me. I loved you. Even then.

5 years. 5 years since you left me. 5 years since you took my everything from me. You were that everything. Even though my body remained here these 5 years. I've been dead all along, because I can't live without you. Please Sebastian. Come back, so I can finally live again.

I miss you... I need you... I love you...