The Hearts in the Centre - Chapter One

Summary: Following Bones' admission to Booth she decides to embrace life rather than retreat behind her walls. How does Booth cope in the aftermath of her revelation? What happens when Hannah reads Brennan's books? Why on earth does he propose? Why is he dreaming of Sweets? Will it all work out in the end? Of course it will, this is one more way they might get there, it's likely to be a fluffy finish but hey, that's what we all want right?

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Bones or any affiliated characters. No copyright infringement intended.

A/N: This story follows 'The Doctor in the Photo', ignoring the end of the episode, and pretending she stayed at home that night rather than going back into the lab, it starts the following morning.

The story sets off at a tangent from there, it won't follow the path of or the spoilers for future episodes as I'm in the UK in a TV license & Sky free house (have only seen episodes 1, 2 and 9 of season 6 because I found them online) and hence I won't see all of series 6 until it's out on DVD).

Like everyone else I'm desperate to see them finally get it together, I started with a truly fluffy end and some how in putting the how-it-happened together the story has grown and grown. I have the plot sketched out mostly but suggestions, comments, criticisms more than welcome.

Many apologies in advance if any ideas have inadvertently slipped in from other fan fiction I've read (please do let me know if you think I have) I've been reading obsessively since I found this site. I've never written before so I hope it's vaguely okay and somewhat entertaining. Please excuse the poor grammar, you'd think I'd have learnt the rules by my age. And apologies for any word misuse, I seem to be fairly good at throwing words that seem right but might not actually mean exactly what I intended.

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The front door opened slowly as though the person opening it didn't really want to know who was there, for a millisecond after the door bell had rung she wondered if it might be him, but both her heart and her logical mind told her it wasn't.

'Sweetie, oh sweetie.' Angela's voice was soft, concern and sympathy bathing her friend. She took in Brennan's red rimmed eyes, disheveled hair, her posture of defeat. Angela had never seen her friend like this before.

'Ange.' Brennan mustered half a smile, she sounded pleased to see her friend. 'Come in.'

Angela had been uncertain of the reception she would receive, she expected at least some resistance, acquiescence was a surprise. It was 9am on Saturday morning and Brennan hadn't even questioned her presence. Clearly this was an unusual situation. Booth had spoken to Hodgins last night, pregnancy tiredness having already driven his wife to bed, he'd simply suggested Brennan could do with a shoulder to lean on, cryptically he'd expressed dismay that he couldn't be the one to provide it but that was the only clue he'd given to her need for support.

'I don't know the specific reason why I'm here but whatever you need Sweetie, companionable silence, a shoulder to cry on, someone to kick Booth's butt.' The last comment raised a wry smile from Brennan. 'That won't be necessary Angela, but thank you for offering.'

After a brief pause Brennan continued, 'I'm glad you're here. I'll try not to cry directly on your shoulder but the company is appreciated. I think I've finally learned I don't have to live my life on my own.'

'You sit, I'll make tea,' commanded Angela. 'You should be sitting and I should be making drinks. You're the one who is pregnant,' insisted Brennan. 'Bren, I'm fine. There will be plenty of time to cosset me once the bump is huge and I can't see my feet. For now let me. Anyway. I'm not the one who's been up crying most of the night.' Ange raised her eye brows and shot her friend a sad smile. 'Rooibos, green, or something stronger? Well, for you, not me,' she joked and gestured to her burgeoning bump.

'A little early for liquor I think. The herbal box by the kettle, it's supposed to be uplifting and I could do with all the help in that department that I can get right now.'

As Angela walked into the kitchen Brennan sank into the sofa, curling her legs underneath her, fighting the urge to simply curl up and disappear. Thoughts returned to the conversation in the car the previous evening. Her reverie was interrupted by the beep of her cell phone. She read the message, despite herself a fond smile played on her lips, tears threatened once more, his gesture touched her greatly.

Angela reappeared, steaming mugs in hand, frowning in question at the phone. Brennan pulled two intricately carved coasters into place on the coffee table. 'Booth,' she said, unable to hide the love and pain he evoked. 'We've always had this understand...what's ours in ours. He just wanted me to know it was okay to talk to you, tell you anything I needed to.' She paused, 'He sent you.' A statement rather than a question.

'Jack spoke to him. I was sleeping. He just said you needed someone but it couldn't be him. Jack said he sounded...well, crushed, that he couldn't be the one to comfort you. He didn't tell us what it was about.' Angela laid a hand on her friends arm. 'You don't have to either. I can just be here. If you want to talk though I promise I'll just listen.'

Brennan smiled at her friend. 'I feel that I don't deserve you Angela. Though I'm trying to learn that I do deserve friends, a life, happiness...' She trailed off, thinking of the missed chance for the happiness she really wanted.

Angela fought with herself to remain silent, waiting for her friend to open up, and she did, in a way she never had before.

'I find I'm fighting the desire to forget the impact of this last week, to return to the security of fact and logic. But it was a lonely place. I may have believed I was meant to be alone, but I didn't want to be. This case... I don't want to be like her. She had exceptional career success, she was a smart, accomplished woman. But what did it matter, when she was gone, nobody missed her. She may as well not have existed.'

'Sweetie, you're not her. You have friends, family. We love you. We need you in our lives. Just like her what you do, your career, it makes a huge difference. She was a surgeon, she saved lives. You solve murders, you stop murderers, you provide answers, those answers make a huge difference to those the victims leave behind...'

'But she...she rejected the man she loved, the man who loved her. It's conjecture, but maybe she felt fear as I did. When I said no to Booth...'

Angela raised her eyebrows at this admission, it took all her restraint not to say something, but she listened, as she had promised, if Brennan wanted to say more she would.

Brennan noted Angela's silent question. 'Before Maluku. I was too scared. He means too much to me, I couldn't let myself risk loosing what we had. Our partnership, his friendship, I didn't think I could live without it. I felt that I was unable to open my heart enough to be someone he could love.'

Angela didn't know what to say. Brennan continued, 'I will always regret missing my chance. It was illogical to think that what we had could continue if he moved on, forged a relationship with someone else. Of course his girlfriend takes precedence...' she trailed off. 'Somehow I lost the thing I was trying to protect,' she smiled wistfully. 'However, he is happy, I wanted him to find the happiness he deserves. He loves Hannah, she can give him the life he wants.'

Angela drew breath, unsure what to say first. 'Sweetie, you have to tell him.' Then suddenly the pieces fell into place, she knew why she was there. 'You did, didn't you?'

Brennan nodded. 'It was selfish of me. I caused him pain, again. It was unfair, he's with Hannah now.' She echoed Booth's words with an odd tone to her voice 'And she's not a consolation prize.'

Angela couldn't hide her emotions any longer 'But he doesn't love Hannah. It's all a front, he might think he is happy, but it's all on the surface, with you it would be so much more.'

Tears threatened to overwhelm Brennan for the umpteenth time. She had been unaware a person could cry that much without dehydrating. She replied to Angela's concerned gaze. 'I'm okay. I just wish I knew how to move past this. I need to stop this endlessly running through my thoughts. I'm glad that I can feel now, even if it is sadness and regret. But I need to be able to clear my mind.'

Angela nodded, 'What you need is closure,' she informed her best friend. Brennan looked uncertain at the term. 'I don't know what that means.'

'Here's an analogy. Once you've made an identification for a set of remains, you wrap up all the loose ends, answer all the questions. You make sure you know exactly what happened. It allows you to put the file away. Move on to the next case.' Angela continued. 'Now, I'm not saying this is the end of you and Booth. I still believe there might be a chance...' She paused as her friend imperceptibly shook her head, a wash of sadness on her face. 'Right now he's with Hannah and to Booth loyalty is paramount I know that, he wouldn't simple walk away from her...' Angela paused as Brennan started to speak but she cut her off. 'I know what you're going to say. But he isn't in love with her. Not like he's in love with you. Trust me, I've been watching you both for six long years. It's going to take him time, time to process. But at some point he's going to realize that his loyalty to you, to what you have, to what you will have, is more important than his loyalty to her.'

'In the mean time what I think you should do is this, write. It's always been your solace. I have to break it to you, Kathy and Agent Andy...they did not help your 'I'm-not-in-love-with-Booth' protests.' Angela raised her eyebrows. Brennan started to speak but Angela stopped her, 'You've admitted it now.' She paused briefly 'I don't mean another book, maybe a letter to Booth, you don't have to give it to him, but it will help you sort this all out in your mind, give you some resolution. Hopefully help you to be ready to grab that glimmer of an opportunity when it comes your way. And if you don't grab, you know I'll push you, right?'

'I like the idea Angela. As much as I would like to, it would be unfair to burden him with a further explanation of my feelings given his commitment to Hannah. I think writing it down would help me though. I feel strongly that I must learn from Dr Eames, not just with regard to Booth.' She tried to erase the sadness from her eyes. 'I need to embrace the rest of my life. My family, my friends, my little niece or nephew in there.' Brennan looked at Angela seeking approval at the use of those terms, her friend always maintained they were like sisters. Angela was surprise at the new Brennan, one who didn't tack on an explanation that they weren't really blood relatives. Brennan reached out tentatively, Angela imperceptibly nodded and guided her friends hand to her emerging bump. 'A little longer for kicking but it's life affirming just to feel the new energy isn't it?' Brennan simply nodded and smiled at Angela, no factual excerpts, no data on pregnancy, the scientist within made a little room for the rest of her.

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Food and a long hot shower revitalized the woman who'd decided to choose life. The season brought darkness early; a fire, wine and cashmere clothing went some way to providing the comfort and cosiness she desired. A misnomered 'guy hug' would have been just want she needed, but she was going to have to learn to live without them. She was a strong woman, she would survive this aching heart, but for once she wasn't going to let her pain turn her in on herself. It was her tribute to Dr Eames, she would not forget her, she would honour her memory by embracing her life in the way her counterpart no longer had the chance to do.

As she settled on the sofa she thought of all the moments in the last six years that had lead them to where they were. She picked up the fountain pen Booth had given her to celebrate the success of her first book and began to pour her heart out to him.

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A/N: Hopefully this won't end up too out of character, though I think it might. It's not to relevant in this chapter but I should say now that I don't buy the side of Brennan's character that is completely oblivious to the meaning of idioms and metaphors and cultural knowledge. Fair enough that she isn't up to date on the latest popular culture but she's a native speaker of the language, a highly intelligent woman and an anthropologist for crying out loud, why should she not have picked up full language usage is beyond me, and she's highly knowledgeable of seemingly every culture around the globe but not her own, this doesn't make sense. Maybe I've understood incorrectly but I though the literalness and logical world view were supposed to be walls she had hidden behind to protect herself, just because this is how she interacts with the world and processes her perceptions doesn't mean she shouldn't be able to understand a sizable component of her mother tongue. So anyway, I've not gone too far down the 'I don't know what that means' path, maybe it's been somewhat an act, part of her cold-fish front, now she's intending to embrace life, to feel, the front has dropped a little and maybe just echos of her past behaviour would be seen.

Other things that probably aren't quite right:

I have a feeling the making tea in a crisis might be a little to British but hey. No idea what Brennan drinks but I imagined it wasn't your standard tea or coffee.

The bit about the pen being a gift from Booth I've totally made up, I seem to remember something about the first book being written in the year between the first and second cases but I could be making that up.