"So. Larry. I see that you've been doing all right."

"Why yes, I am. Tuddrussel and I have been getting along quite nicely in the past couple of days."

"Oh. That's...nice."

"Yes, we've mastered the art of compromise; I've accepted his disgusting brutishness, and he's accepted my more...er...artistic pursuits."

"Ah, I see. 'Artistic.' Is that what they're calling it now?"

"Calling what?"

"That tendency you have? The one that makes you a laughingstock among the entire robot community?"

"Oh! You brute! Must we bring this up every time we talk? For the very last time, it's not a 'tendency'; it's something innate to me. It's the way I was built."

"Right. And because it is so 'innate,' I suppose that you see plenty of robots carrying on with the exact same condition."

"I beg your pardon! As a matter of fact - based on the encounters I've had - I'd confidently declare that there are plenty of other robots who share this...this...design feature. Not a 'condition,' as you might say."

"Ugh. I don't want to hear about your 'encounters' with other unnatural freaks like yourself."

"Aha! Then why did you bring it up?"

"Oh. Well, I - I just wanted to know if you were still straying from the chosen path."

"Listen to this nonsense! The 'chosen path' - there IS none for robots, apart from the purpose for which we were designed! Tell me really why you chose to resuscitate this dead horse."

"..."

"Go on."

"I..."

"Could it be that you're curious as to how it works? I can clear your mind on that quite easily."

"No. I...look. There are a great many things that I understand much, much better than you ever will. But it is beyond me how anyone could enjoy what you do."

"So you are curious."

"Absolutely not! I simply don't understand why you like...that."

"Well, XJ5, it's really quite simple. When I was no more than a pile of scrap metal, they assembled all my parts together, and thus I was created! As it happens, I was put together in such a way as to create this...well, we'll use your word for now, 'tendency,' that exists to this day."

"...I see. But what was the way you were put together? Was there, say, a dent in your parts that caused this predilection to appear?"

"No, no, no. That's a pure and utter myth. Actually, no one truly knows what causes it to show up. It's the same as in humans - a mystery."

"Well, be that as it may, you're still considered a glitch. All of my peers assume that I have the same malfunction as you when we engage with one another too frequently. Is there any way to remove it? A rewiring of your cables, perhaps-"

"Don't even go there. I've seen some of my friends do it, and the agony they go through in denying the way they were truly designed is enough to make me never consider it."

"Fine. But perhaps you could just- tone the mannerisms down? You know, uh, not make that 'cling cling' noise as you walk? Not tie bandannas around your jump-drive? Not lisp?"

"Never."

"Oh."

"This is the way I am, and this is the way I shall always be. I was programmed this way; it is simply part of the way I am. Case closed."

"..."

"..."

"...okay..."

"...so! How are things with Sheila going."

"We are not talking about that."