Chapter Twelve: Big Time Reunion (Posted 10 February 2011)

Kendall and Carlos sat in the car outside the Palm Woods for a long time. In silence. They were both afraid to talk. Afraid to go inside. Afraid to face anything that might hurt them.

They hadn't spoken for most of the drive home. It was awkward, Kendall staring out the window the entire time, and Carlos finding it hard to focus on the road ahead while the person he loved was in the seat next to him.

"You're going to have to face him eventually." Carlos said softly.

"I know. I just hope they aren't too upset." Kendall said after clearing his throat.

"They're not upset." Carlos assured him. "They're really happy you decided not to leave. I'm happy about that too."

"I have the best friends in the world." Kendall said with a nervous smile.

"Yeah. Nothing can tear us apart. Not even this mess."

"Thanks for what you said back there, Carlos." Kendall said more seriously. "It's nice to know how you really feel, even if I'm not sure about my own feelings."

"No problem." Carlos looked into Kendall's big glowing eyes. He was so beautiful. But so broken. And the news he had to give him would probably break him even more. "Kendall... I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"It's about James."

"What about him?"

"He... ok, I have to tell you this... I'm returning the favor. Remember when you told me about you and Logan because I'm your friend and you didn't want me to find out the wrong way?"

"Yeah..." Kendall prompted with a frightened glare.

"Well, I'm doing this because you're my friend and I love you and I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out about you and Logan but I was so confused..." Carlos started crying and breathing heavily. "I feel so bad that I didn't tell you sooner and I'm afraid you're going to hate me... and James... and I just hope I'm doing the right thing..."

"Carlos, calm down." Kendall reached across the gap between the seats to pull him into a soft hug. Patting his back, he felt that spark again. The sensation of this body touching his. And he realized he'd felt it so many times before. Any time he connected to Carlos, it was there, like electricity bringing them together. It scared him, but it felt so nice. "We were just talking about how nothing can tear our friendship apart. Just tell me."

"James is... James has been in love with Logan since we left Minnesota."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I would have told you before if I knew you two were together. And then when I did find out... I wanted to tell you... but I couldn't think straight and I..."

"Carlos, shhh, shhh, it's ok. It's alright." Kendall hugged him tighter, thinking it would stop the tears. "I'm not upset. At you or at anyone."

"You're not?"

"No, of course not."

"But..."

"Carlos... it's going to take a while for me to get over my feelings for Logan. But if James loves him... I hope Logan will give him a chance. They're... kind of perfect for each other. Logan can keep James grounded. James can get Logan to let loose once in a while. They do it now, balance each other out. If they're happy together, I'm happy for them."

"Really? Just like that?" Carlos sat back and asked.

Kendall gently wiped Carlos's tears off his adorable face. "Sure. All I wanted to do was make Logan happy. If I can't do that, then I hope James can."

"And what about your own happiness?"

"I'll figure it out eventually."

"You know... I could make you happy, Kendall. You already make me happy, so you don't even have to worry about that. It wouldn't be about one person, it would be about us."

"Carlos... I..."

"I know." Carlos said with understanding. "I know you need time. Take as much of it as you need."

"Won't you eventually get tired of waiting?"

"For you? Not a chance."

Kendall didn't know what to say. No one had ever offered anything like this to him before. And he was beginning to realize he did feel something for Carlos. Something he believed he felt even before he knew he was gay. So, for now, all he could say was "thanks."

X

A FEW WEEKS LATER:

The boys were all eating dinner along with Mrs. Knight and Katie. They'd had a long conversation after Kendall and Carlos's return, agreeing that they'd be open about everything from now on.

After dinner was over, Kendall and Logan were in the kitchen cleaning up.

"Kendall..." Logan started nervously, "We're good, right? I mean... this friendship... it's still solid like it was?"

"Of course." Kendall said. "Our relationship is over but our friendship is still strong. Breaking up is always hard, but... I don't feel bad about it. I mean... I'm sad, because I did love you but..."

Logan smiled. "Carlos?"

"He's... really something." Kendall admitted shyly.

"Good." Logan said happily. "I feel the same way. About the break-up, I mean. What we had was special... but we both want and need different things. But your still my friend."

"And you're still mine." Kendall agreed.

"Good. And... since we're all friends... I think it's only fair that I tell you... James and I..."

"Are in love?"Kendall suggested lightheartedly yet honestly.

"Well, he's in love with me and... I do love him but... it's not really love yet, you know? But... I think... we might be on our way."

"That's great."

"I hope things work out with you and Carlos." Logan said a little pityingly.

"I think they will. I... I really think there's something good between us. He's... hard to handle sometimes," Kendall smiled fondly at the thought of Carlos when he's extra hyper, "but I like that. He's just so..."

"I know exactly what you mean." Logan said. "James is a handful, but it's worth it... I'm really happy for you and Carlos. I think he's perfect for you."

"I think I have to agree with you. I mean... right now we're just testing the waters... we haven't discussed anything or... we haven't even kissed yet. But..."

Logan slapped his arm. "You haven't kissed him yet?"

"No..."

"If you don't kiss him tonight, I'm going to put laxatives in your breakfast!"

"Eew! You wouldn't do that!"

"I would! That boy loves you! He's been patiently waiting for you to kiss him and you just admitted you're falling in love with him so just do it already!"

"I can't now! Now I'll feel like I'm just doing it because you told me to!" Kendall said a little too loudly.

"Do you want to kiss him?"

"Absolutely!"

"Then why haven't you!"

"I tried a couple times, but I either got too nervous or he seemed like he didn't want me too..."

"That's probably because he doesn't want to do it before you're ready. You're ready, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then show him. Go in for a big smooch. And I'm not kidding, I'm gonna ask him tomorrow morning before you even wake up, and if he says you didn't kiss him, I'm putting Dulcolax in your cereal."

"But..."

"Kiss him."

"But..."

"Kiss him!"

"Fine..."

"Good boy." Logan smiled. He really was glad how good things were between him and Kendall. All friendships had been mended. And new romances had been formed.

X

Later that night, after the girls had already gone to bed, the boys were sitting on the sofa watching a movie. Near the end, Carlos was looking tired and laid his head on Kendall's shoulder, letting his eyes close as his mouth opened wide in a yawn.

Logan saw, and knew this was his cue to leave. He stood, pulling James with him. "James, I think it's time for us to go to bed." He slightly gestured towards their friends.

James winked at him. "Yeah, I am pretty tired."

Kendall shook his head as he watched them go. Logan was leaving on purpose to give him the perfect chance to kiss Carlos. But he did really want to kiss him, so he decided it really wasn't that big a deal.

"Carlos..." he quietly called to him.

Carlos lifted his head and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, Kendall?"

Kendall looked at him, so cute in his pajamas. Placing a hand on his face, he turned Carlos's head to the side so he could kiss his cheek.

Carlos stared at him. A kiss? "Kendall..." he said as he searched Kendall's eyes.

Kendall saw how happy that one tiny peck on the cheek had made him. And he suddenly thought, You know what? I'm not scared anymore. He deserves more than that. So he sat forward again and pushed his lips against Carlos's.

He felt Carlos's lips moving against his, begging to be pried open. So he did, slipping his tongue through to finally get a taste of him. Suddenly he was being pulled down on top of him, fingers were in his hair, and tears were sliding into his hand which was still cupped over Carlos's cheek.

"Are you... crying?" Kendall asked, worried.

"Of course I'm crying." Carlos said with a smile. "Do you know how long I've waited for you do do that?"

"Well, you don't have to wait anymore. If you want me, Carlos, I am completely ready and willing to hand myself over to you." Kendall said without breaking eye contact.

"I love you, Kendall." Carlos said, and waited patiently for a response.

Kendall kissed him again, pausing once to declare "I love you too, Carlos."