Gray Silver

It wasn't like that all the time. Before they were enemies. Arch-enemies. He was always interested in the boy, he always wondered were he got that strength and courage from.

Allen showed him the meaning of decay, desperation, dudgeon, dismay, devotion, but mainly he showed him delight. Delight, which he craved for so badly. He craved for it because without it, he couldn't muster up the strength to keep going. One look into his eyes was enough to give him the strength he needed but not enough to feed his desires. The clearing skies after a storm, that's what Allen's eyes were to him. Delight. Pure delight, just what he so much loved.

A smile graces my lips, as I look right into the sky, feeling the sun shining on me. Her warmth caresses me and so much reminds me of your embraces, your words that always warmed and touched me so highly. Your smile, which spends me more warmth, than the sun will ever be able to. However those eyes of yours are the most precious and luminous and warm about you.

Before I came to know and love you all I cared for was myself and the fun I got from living as two persons; Actually I was completely blind to what the world held. I ignored everything that wasn't my mission. It was easier that way. When I saw you the first time without one your masks, I was stunned though, life hit me suddenly. It was like finally waking up from a deep slumber. The fog blocking my vision vanished. You were just like the light breaking through the thick pall of clouds; then again, you were different the same way. You were some kind of light, whispering lovely words in my earsy, like I could achieve anything I wished for. Sure enough you proved me right; everything I reached for came to me.

I always did what I as told and never deciding on which side I wanted to live. I was on the white side, as well as the black one. But you made me want to live on only one of these sides. I wanted to stay on the white side, for there wouldn't be any obstacle for my feelings towards you. Then again it wouldn't be fun, if it was that easy, right?

I wanted to live, love and laugh. I wanted to be allowed to feel, without being guilty. But I was guilty and I did not deny it. If guilt was that near to feeling pleasured, then I wouldn't give a flying shit about that war between the two sides and the Earl's orders. He brings me back to being the way I was in the beginning. I was only interested in myself. My life. My love. My laughter.

And tonight, my love, I will show you how grateful I am, for showing what you did for me. Of course, in the beginning you would want to end it, because we were enemies and I once tried to kill him and his friends (not to mention all those exorcists I killed before I met him.). But I didn't want it to end and I don't want it to end now. Why should I? You have put a spell onto me, I'm pretty sure of this, Allen. I'm not romantic and, yes, it sounds cliché but you locked me in your eyes.

The morrow has only begun and my head is already full of thoughts. Ridiculous.

Will you be pleased with what I am about to do to you? I don't know it yet, but I want to please and pleasure you, since it gives me so much pleasure myself.

I get up, taking in your sleeping form. Your silver haired head the only thing of your body that sticks out. Your body hidden under the covers, on your throat there are signs of me. Love bites. Love bites made by me. Smiling again I sit down at the windowsill to look up into the skies again, which now has taken the color of your eyes. A shallow shroud of mist has laid itself upon the city, letting everything get a mysterious glimmer. Everything is still in complete silence, not anything reaching my eyes. It is only the sky. This sky, which is so far away, yet it is out of my reach.

It is just the same with you. Your are just like the sky, like a star. I wish to reach you, believe to be so nearby your side, still you are so far away from me.

Again and again you cause this illusory feeling of proximity to grow inside of my heart. You let me touch your beauteous body, you let me feel you clearly. However I have the feeling that I will never be near enough. I desire you, although you are giving me what you have. So what are hiding so stubbornly. No matter what I try, I cannot find that little thing inside of your heart that you still hide deep inside yourself.

I can see a single cloud passing by.

And then there is that shimmer of your eyes again. The fog that separates me from you. It is what prevents me from being one with you. No matter what we do, whenever I look at you, or where ever we are, there is that mist of sadness and distress that covers your eyes. You can't hide it from me, even if you are trying. You cannot hide anything from me, Allen. I can see everything clearly if it has to do with you.

Is it the past that watches you like some shadow?

Or is it the pain? Pain, because you know that I want what you are denying me.

That emotion, or whatever it is, that you won't give me.

Again there is a smile on my lips, as I can see the first rays of sunlight breaking through the gray, slowly limning the skies into luscious tones of red, gold and orange. The moment of beau is over, my moment has passed by and still I keep smiling.

The sun inspired me.

Just like the sun broke through the thick gray, I will break through that wall you have built around yourself. I will take what is mine and what I desire. And everything I desire is you. You are personification of all my cravings and dreams.

Again I sound like some pesky, little girl. But why does that even matter? As long as I only think these thoughts, nobody will know that sometimes I sound like a little girl. Apart from you. Only you. You and your wonderful smile, whenever I romanticize about you. It doesn't bother you, when I am like that. It violates my proud and masculinity, but not you. And that is everything that matters.

„Why are you up that early in the morning? "

Slim arms pale a trained body.

„Good morning, bean sprout"

A small grumbling sound is escaping the younger one, as he is looking up at his lovers, pouting.

„Don't call me that!"

Now a naughty smile graces Tyki's lips and Allen looks even huffier.

„But that Kato –was that his name? - guy is always calling you that. Why is he allowed to do something that I don't? "

„His name is Kanda. "

„So he's more important than I? I should change that"

Tyki's playful manner made Allen's heart pound a little faster and he giggled as he lovingly kissed his beloved's shoulder. He loved it when Tyki was like that. And he needed it. He himself was what nobody ever saw in him, quite the silent and serious type. He never showed it, though. He, as the foster child to a clown, was used to hide himself behind a mask. A mask only Tyki knew to break that easily. How often the elder had brought him to show his true feelings?

It didn't matter to Allen.
As long as it was his beloved Tyki, he didn't care.

It was late evening, almost the beginning of night.

Outside a storm was raging, the rain wiped together with the wind on the earth, however two persons, lying in their bed at home, didn't bother with it. They were on fire and caught in the ardor of emotion.

For a long time now I refused to do this to you. I never had the courage to take this last step, I was always afraid to hurt you, because I wouldn't want to do this again.

But now I can't hold back anymore. This night I will make you mine! Mine alone.

Your sweet body under mine, how it reacts to every touch. Your voice that drives me crazy, as well as your eyes. They again are covered by a deep fog, however I don't care this time, for it is a fog I brought.

Our bodies are dancing closer and closer to the edge of darkness. That in nominate darkness, that envelopes us with every moan and gasp more and more. There are no corners to this, no beginning and no end, there is neither „to be" nor „not to be". It is just two entities, you and I. Two humans, that love each other and adore the other more than life itself.

You and I.

It is only the both of us, melding to one being.

With every movement, I feel like being nearer to death, I can taste its kiss on my lips already. I believe, that nothing can feel that good, without being deadly. It is like sweet poison, a drug that clouds all my senses. I cannot think straight anymore.

The blackness now becomes more intense and lastly turns into pure white as you give yourself fully into perfection, your nails digging into my skin. Your last moan lets me finally climb up the stairs of heaven. It is over...

I am now one with you; the hunger is satisfied and I proved how grateful I am. I am grateful for everything; you have done and given for me.

Allen Walker...

If you weren't there, then nothing in my life would have changed and I would not relish the beauty of the sky. And there comes again. As you close your eyes to sleep, I can see that shadow in your eyes again. That shadow I couldn't beat so far. How can I bring it down? How?

Allen I want to give you everything. I want you to live, love and laugh. I want to have that all with you, without that shadow. But tell me how!

As I think about a way to get to you, I go to the land of Nod. Even there I am looking for a way into your heart. Even in my dreams...

By now I have woken.

Again that gray is like a curtain to the sky. And again there is only a single cloud. I can see it in your eyes, because you are seated between my legs, your back against my chest. You look satisfied with yourself as you play with one of my Tease. You even look happy, every time the Tease begins to fly around you. Still there is that haze in your beautiful eyes.

It forms a tainted beauty of you. You may be tainted by the past, by what I did to you and by what the world did to you, but it makes me love you all the more.

I wish to protect you and hide you from this world. This world, which is so cruel and cold.

You smile at me, with this bittersweet happiness and I now have a new mission.

I want to free that gray silver in your eyes from its shadow, so I can savor the pure splendor of that silver. Wiping away those black spots, to change gray into silver.

I never thought a Noah could cry. So it never occurred to me, that a Noah actually could feel love. But I can.

I will always love you and I will hide you from the cold.

I want to thank all readers. And you have to thank the weather back here in Germany, which made me write this.

I know, Tyki is kind of romantic and all that, but I wanted him to be like that. Loving and in love.

Hopefully it isn't that bad