Here's the rest loves!
It was a normal hunt. Dean and Sam had just finished up. Sam was driving now, letting Dean hunker down in the back. He worried about his big brother. Ever since Castiel had died…
Dean had been different. He had stopped talking altogether after a few days. He didn't want to eat sometimes and he once blatantly refused to leave the motel just so he could curl up in a ball and collapse in on himself.
All the regrets Sam knew he must have been going through in his mind. Never told Cas he loved him was one of them, he was sure. Never kissed Cas was definitely number two. Never banged Cas had to be in there somewhere. Unless Dean was being a lot more serious with this than Sam thought.
Which he was.
Never told Cas, was definitely number one. Never hugged Cas, was number two though. Never cuddled with Cas, never just took a drive with Cas, never held Cas's hand. Never told Cas that he was his reason for waking up in the morning, never told Cas he was his world, never told Cas he was perfect just the way he was. Never kissed the frown off Ca's face, never told him how cute he looked when he would pout, never rubbed his nose across that stubble, placed a kiss under that jaw. Never softly kissed Cas on the forehead, never let Cas start the first kiss, never just held Cas. Never whispered to Cas over and over how much he loved him, never promised Cas the world. Never made sweet, sweet love to Cas in a real soft bed, treating him like he was the most precious thing in the world, just to wake up with him in the morning and hold him close and love it. Never ran his fingers through Cas's hair. Never wrapped an arm around his waist. Never kissed him on the nose, or cheek or the shell of his ear. Never told Cas that he was enough. Never let Cas trust him to get himself that near.
And he never would.
Those were the things that Dean was regretting not doing. Not telling or saying or sharing. Those were the things that made Dean's vision blur when he thought of them, made him shove his pie away or toss and turn in bed.
Those were the things he wanted most.
With Cas.
So when Dean heard a banging on Bobby's front door when their travels led them back there for a week's rest he wasn't expecting to find Cas, there, looking worn out and lost, leaning against the doorframe for support.
But that's what happened.
Dean stood there like an idiot for about ten seconds before he surged forward and caught him just as he was about to fall. All of his weight was in Dean's arms now and the hunter was the only thing holding him up.
"Cas?" he asked, daring to hope.
"Dean," was all he got as a mumble before Castiel went limp in his arms.
Dean froze for a moment, staring at the still form before he turned his head and yelled urgently into the house, "I need some help out here!"
When Castiel woke up, three days had passed. Dean had slept for none of them. He had diligently stayed by the bed the entire time, Castiel's hand in his as the angel slept off whatever paranormal jet-lag that whatever had pulled him back had left him with.
His eyes fluttered open, those bright sapphire meeting warm hazel and Dean started to cry all over again. He pressed soft little kisses into his palm, not caring if Castiel thought it was wrong or didn't like it. He rubbed the tip of his nose against the warm flesh of Castiel's hand and let his tears slide down the soft flesh. Dean placed one last kiss on Cas's palm before he looked up into his eyes again.
"Dean-"
"God, Cas, I love you," was all the hunter blurted out. "I always have. And when you…died? I was so lost, so lost. I don't wanna lose you again." He was begging now, because his greatest fear was coming. He knew that Castiel was going to say that he needed to get back to Heaven, that he duties. But what about his duties to Dean? "And I don't think I'll survive it if you leave, so please Cas stay, don't leave me." He dissolved in tears again, glad that Bobby and Sam were downstairs and away from this dramatic scene.
"Dean!" Castiel finally said, raising his voice and sitting up in the bed. In one swift movement, he upped his hand around the hunter's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Their lips touch softly and pressed together, going no further than that.
"Wha…?" Dean asked as they pulled apart, slightly dizzy and confused, because really? This couldn't be happening.
"I love you," Castiel said softly, making Dean's breath just freeze in his chest. "And besides," he sat back, dragging Dean down next to him, "I can't go anywhere."
Dean pulled up, still shaken by all of this and now very confused. "Why not?"
"One, because I don't want to. Two because I can't." At Dean's questioning look he simply said, "I'm human Dean."
The hunter stopped and blinked. "Say again?" Before Castiel could though, he suddenly exploded, "Cas why? How could you let this happen to you? God, I wanted you, but never this, never for you to be away from you're home, without your angel mojo!" He turned his head to the ceiling standing up now. "GOD! God, you son of a bitch, you change him back or I'll-"
"Dean, stop," Castiel commanded, his tone making Dean sink back onto the mattress, still glaring at the ceiling expectantly. "I chose this."
The hunter whirled to him. "You what?"
Castiel took his hand and squeezed it. "My father gave me a choice. He was ringing me back, but this was it. I had to choose. One, I either get brought back as a human and get to use Jimmy's body and such. I live out my life doing whatever I want with it still with my angelic knowledge. When I die, I am left alone to a human's heaven, unbothered by angelic host. Or two, I come back as an angel-"
"Cas," Dean started, "Why did you-"
"- and never get to see you again."
Dean snapped his mouth shut. "Did you just choose me over heaven?" he said quietly.
Castiel smiled and for the first time, he was truly relaxed. "Dean," he said as he leaned into the hunter's side, "I have always chosen you over heaven, even when you couldn't see it. And I would do it all over again. For you."
There. My fetish of the day is sorta kinda satisfied. Not!
Review. I demand it of you!
MWAHAHAH!