Secrets

Bella

I've always been grateful that Edward can't read my mind.

My secret is that I love sports. Seriously. Not participating, necessarily, but watching. I love to watch someone score a goal, or run from A to B to be safe. I love selecting a team to support, and then cheering them on mentally.

When they lose I feel their pain, almost. Jasper has given me many a funny look when he's sensed my anger and can't pick up a reason for it. And when my team wins, I'm happy. Like, jubilant.

I guess it started when I was human and Charlie was forever watching some game on TV. I was often up in my room, not watching or listening to the game, but I could still hear little snippets of the announcer's commentary. And then there was always the applause and cheering of a crowd. These little sounds drifted up to me, and I wondered what had happened to make spectators so happy with the way the game was happening. Occasionally I even went to spend some time watching the various games. As I watched, I began to learn more about the games. How to play, who was a good player or bad. What teams were worth supporting and which ones were utterly boring. I also liked how the sports almost seemed to unite people.

The way that all these random people got together to support something they all loved. These people might not even know each other or like each other, but for a set amount of time, they were all united in their support and passion for a favoured team.

I was soon desperate for more sport-knowledge, so I began to read more library books on the various subjects. I dug out dozens of newspaper articles on the subjects, googling terms I didn't understand and learning the rules.

I even tried to join the school's volleyball team as a human, but that didn't work out so well when I tried to spike the ball over the net and it fell, hitting someone directly in the back of the head and giving them a mild concussion. It was not pretty.

It was inspiring.

It was almost intriguing. Then, when I went to watch the first baseball game the rest of my family was playing, I was almost mesmerized. They looked so graceful and coordinated: everything I wasn't. Now, of course, I'm just as graceful and can play just as well as anyone else.

I loved being able to dart from one space to another, to hit the ball easily, to not be tripping over my own feet and landing on my ass the whole time.

For the first time ever, I really enjoyed sport.

In school, I had shied away from PE because I knew that humans weren't so good at exceeding their limits. They could train hard and practise to become faster, stronger, smoother in their game. But they are always limited, and I pitied them. For not being able to move from one side of the school to the other in less than three seconds, if they were so inclined. It dulled my enthusiasm for sports slightly: I had to work to look human. It was only when I was with my family that I could run as fast as I wanted, hit a ball as hard as I liked and make full use of my strength, embracing it rather than trying to stifle it.

One time, I was playing tennis against a human and nearly slipped up, hitting the ball too hard. At home, I played against Emmett and hit the ball so hard, it ricocheted between the two walls eighteen times. Esme was not pleased.

Now, I was running through the forest. I knew there were no humans around, and that made me free to run as fast as I liked. Now, I ran, so fast that I could almost have been flying.

It was exhilarating to run like this. I expended no real effort other than moving, and my feet were barely touching the ground. And when arm-wrestling against Emmett, we were evenly matched for strength. Half the time, I was able to beat him, and I didn't always have the feelings that he was just letting me win.

Sports really were wonderful. I loved them all. Cricket, rugby, football… you name it, I played it.

Of course, I had to keep it quiet from my family. They still didn't know about my love of sports and playing, and I knew that if they knew, I'd be ribbed mercilessly about it for the next century.

And if they did, I would eventually get fed up with sports. Then, I would have to take up something more Bella-ish. Like collecting stamps.

Then again, everyone would tease me about that for the next century. Or maybe the one after.

And that would be why I took up collecting bottle-tops.