Hey everyone! sorry sorry sorry for the long waith. I was just really busy with school and I had this massive writer block :( but, to make it up to you I have an extra long chapter for you guys :D

enjoy!

Chapter 8

The moment I heard Jacob ride away, I wanted to follow him. I instantly regretted that I had turned him away. On the other side, he had hurt me. And not just a little bit, no, he had, in my opinion, nearly broken my heart. I hated how Jacob could take control of my thoughts when he wasn't even around, how he had managed to crawl under my skin and indented to stay there even when I didn't want him to. Sometimes it seemed as if he had put me under some kind of spell, bewitched me into loving him.

Because that was the problem, I had fallen in love with Jacob. That's why I wanted him close when he was away, why I had the incredible need to see him, why my thoughts always lead to him, why it hurts so much that he hadn't been there yesterday evening… I couldn't understand what I was feeling. I had never believed in love on first sight, but this thing with Jacob could hardly be anything else. I just wished that I knew why I loved him, because he had never really done anything to make me like him. He had always been rude to me, claiming how he disliked me and yet, I had fallen for him. It absolutely didn't make sense.

"Evelyn? You okay?"

Bella laid a hand on my shoulder. When I turned to face her, she gave me a sad smile to try and cover her worry.

"Sure, sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been standing there for the last 10 minutes, not moving a muscle, only staring at the door."

I felt my cheeks head up in shame. Stupid Jacob Black, making me look like an idiot in front of Bella because he keeps my mind occupied. It hadn't been my intention to space out. This was so infuriating.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

I gave her my most convincing smile. It didn't work, I still saw doubt swim in her eyes. It looked like she wanted to say something, but didn't dare to. I waited, wondering where this conversation would take us.

"Perhaps…perhaps you should have given him a chance to explain. I don't like it to see him sad, or you. "

I let out a frustrated sigh. I had hoped that Bella would be on my side, or neutral or something, but not that she would side up with Jacob.

"I don't want to hear what he has to say. Not now at least. Just, please, can we stop talking about this?"

"Promise me you will hear him out?"

I nodded once.

I had decided I would not let this day go to waste. Since finals were coming up, I thought I'd use this day to study a bit. I promised myself I would not get distracted, I would not let my thoughts take over, I would only think of the matter I was studying.

I could fool my head into this deal perhaps but not my heart.

I started with mathematics, it was a subject that needed my full attention, but it wasn't really difficult either. In class I easily understood most of it. After half an hour I realised I was still staring at the same page, without taking in one letter that was written on it. I let out a frustrated sigh, nervously ticking with my pencil on my desk. It took me a while to recognise the familiar tune I was creating, and I almost snapped my pencil in half when I realised it. Howl, the song I associated with Jacob the most. I'm not sure why though. Perhaps because I liked his big wolfish grin that he had shot me on a rare occasion or because it was the song I had played on the beach when Jacob was there too?

And damn you, Jacob Black, I'm thinking of you again!

Angry, I closed my books. I figured there would be no studying today. I went downstairs, muttering profanities under my breath. Bella was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper, only looking up from it when I sat down across from her.

"Everything alright?"

I looked at her, only meeting sympathy in her eyes. I slowly shook my head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shrugged.

"It's Jacob. I can't help but miss him, even though I'm still kind of angry with him. Lately he's all I ever think about, and I don't want to think about him, and I don't want to like him. Did you ever had it with Edward? That you didn't want to think of him, but everything you did made you think of him? God…I'm so confused."

She laid her hand over mine at the table.

"Perhaps you should go talk with him."

A groan escaped my lips while I shook my head. Why couldn't she understand? I didn't want to see him, I couldn't go see him. I would give in without wanting too.

"Maybe you should go out, do something that makes you not think of him. Edward and I are going to Port Angeles, do you want to come along?"

I could hear she was just being polite. I gave her a smile for the effort, but shook my head.

"Being around you two would probably make me think of Jacob even more. But thanks for asking."

I took a bottle of water out of the fridge and started playing with the lid while I drank. Maybe reading a book would help me take my mind of things.

"Bells, could I borrow one of your books?"

She nodded, but didn't stop reading the newspaper. The article must be very interesting.

I came to the conclusion that Bella didn't own as many books as I thought she would and that the books she possessed were mostly classics. Classics that I had already read before. With other words: they would never be able to catch my attention. I had to smile when I saw how well-read those books were and it surprised me that Bella kept reading them without ever growing bored. I let my fingers rake over their backs. Suddenly I noticed a book that looked new. Carefully I slipped it of the bookshelf. Thales and Legends of the Quileute tribe. I vaguely remembered Bella telling me Jacob was part of it. Without giving it another thought, I took it with me to my room.

I heard the soft purr of Edward's Volvo as he came to pick up Bella, I heard Bella close the door and I heard them leaving again, but I never stopped reading once. I was captivated by the stories in the book, captured by the magic of it. With every word an image was created in my mind, and I caught myself giving Jacob all the heroic parts. I smiled at my own foolishness but kept reading anyway. At a given moment I even let my fantasy go wild, imagining what it would be like to have a man that's half man and half wolf, protecting you for ever.

With a deep sigh I closed the book and rolled over on my back, staring at the ceiling. When I looked out of the window, I noticed that the rain had finally stopped and deciding that I needed some air, I went for a walk. I had never been in the woods behind the house and Charlie had warned me not to stray from the paths if I would ever go in. Apparently Bella had gotten lost in it once. The first thing that entered my mind when I entered the forest was green. Everything was green: the trees, the rocks, the ground, everything. It calmed my mind, helped me stay in the imaginary world of shape-shifters and cold-ones I was still lost in.

The peace and quite was suddenly disturbed by a lout crack coming from my right. I stopped death in my tracks, my head turned to where the sound had come from. Except for more trees and plants, I saw nothing. I took a few more steps, listening carefully. Just as I thought it had been my imagination running wild, a new rustling sound could be heard. I felt my heart speed up as I froze on the spot. All kinds of worst-case-scenarios ran through my head as I watched the spot the new noise had come from. And then I saw it.

A huge animal came out of the forest. I would say it was a wolf. It looked like one, but it was much taller than a normal wolf, almost of a bear-like size. I wanted to scream, but my breath caught in my throat, making it impossible to produce any sound. It's intelligent brown eyes looked at me with curiosity instead of hunger, almost as if it was looking for something. The eyes seemed so familiar to me, as if I had looked into them before. If I hadn't been so scared I might have laughed at my silly thoughts.

When the wolf took a step in my direction, I instinctively took one back. Upon noticing this, it let his large russet head hang low and emitted a whine, making it almost look cute. Again it's eyes held me captive, as if they held the answer to some kind of secret. After a while it walked up to me again, and I quickly took a few steps back until my back was pressed against a tree. Damn, now what? I pressed myself as far back into the tree as I could, scrunching my eyes shut and turning my head away. From under my eyelashes I saw the animal still coming closer until his nuzzle was almost pressed up against my face. I could even feel the warmth radiating from his large body. Very slowly and carefully he nudged my cheek with his nose, making me turn my head. I couldn't really place the expression on the wolf's face. It seemed happy, as that was even possible. His large brown eyes were watching me intensely and caught in his stare, I reached out with my hand.

A howl sounded through the woods and I quickly pulled my hand back. How many of these animals lived in these forests? The russet wolf in front of me turned his head, his happy expression gone. He casted me one last look before he took off.

When I regained my senses, I ran. I didn't mind the twigs that were scratching my face or the roots that wanted to make me fall. I ran all the way home, up to my room and let myself fall on my bed. I moved away again when I felt something hard pocking me. The book I had been reading before had still been laying on my bed. I slowly started to turn the pages, but all I could think of was my encounter with the big wolf. I wondered if it had been imagination going crazy, because the wolf could have come straight out of this book. But that was ridiculous! There were no such thing as vampires or werewolves, let alone in a little town as this.

Concentrating became even more of a problem than before. Even Charlie asked me if everything was ok. I only gave him a short replay before I excused myself. Pretending I didn't see their worried glances I went up to my room, once again looking through the book. A soft knock interrupted my thoughts.

"Hey, you ok?"

I smiled at Bella, looking up from the book.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a little tired. Here is your book back. Thanks that I could borrow it."

Bella seemed surprised when I gave her the book back. And then nervous all of a sudden, stroking the cover of the book. Sure let's all start petting books, nothing weird about that.

"Bells? What kind of animals live in these woods?"

Her hand stopped in her tracks, her eyes quickly coming up to meet mine, worry and suspiscion clear on her face.

"Why do you ask?"

"I went walking in the woods today and I saw a huge wolf there. But really huge almost like a bear! I swear, it wasn't normal. I didn't hurt me, though, it was actually very relaxed."

I got lost in thought again, recalling the meeting from earlier. Giving it a closer thought, it even seemed surreal as if it had only happened in my imagination.

"Did you tell Charlie this?"

I watched her warily, not understanding the concerned tone that laced her voice. I only shook my head as answer. She let out a deep sigh, relieved at my answer. She left me alone after that and I tried to escape my thoughts by sleeping.

I was running. I was running so hard my legs were burning and I was struggling to get enough air. I didn't know why I was running. That I was running to something or was running away from somewhere. I didn't know if I was being chased or if I was chasing someone. All I knew, was that I had to keep running. And then out of nowhere Jacob appeared, holding his arms open, like a father would do with a little child, and I ran to him. He picked me up in his arms and held me like he never wanted to let me go. He was warm, as always. His brown eyes shining with happiness as they were looking into mine. He put me down and gave me a light kiss on my cheek. Suddenly Jacob was gone and in his place stood a large russet wolf, the wolf I met in de woods, the one with the familiar eyes. When it looked me in the eyes I realised where I had seen the eyes before. They were Jacob's. The animal came closer, very slowly as if trying to not scare me again. It moved its head against my cheek and the warmth was strangely familiar, the same warmth that always seemed to radiate of Jacob too. My head was spinning. Too much was going through it. Too much to handle in one time. A high-pitched scream sounded through the air and I had to cover my ears to shut the annoying sound out.

I didn't realise it was me who was screaming, until I heard someone telling me that it was okay, that I was home, that I had to wake up. I opened my eyes but it was one big blur. I felt someone wrap their arms around me, still soothing me. I closed my eyes again and tried to calm down. My throat was burning because of the screaming. When I opened my eyes again, I saw that Bella was holding me and that I was, indeed, in my room. She had turned on the lamp on the bedside table.

When I leaned away from the embrace I saw that her shirt was soaked on the place where my head had been. I went with a shaking hand over my face and found it wet with tears, which were still streaming down my face. I felt someone sitting at the end of the bed and when I looked up, I saw Charlie looking at me with a worried face.

"Are you okay. You were screaming so I came to have a look. You looked like you were in total panic."

Bella handed me a glass of water, still with a worried look on her face. I gratefully took the water and drank before answering. Was I alright, I asked myself. I had no idea. The dream was still going round in my head. Imagine, Jake being a wolf, a werewolf. Such things only existed in fairytales.

"I'm fine, I think. It was just a bad dream. Sorry for waking you up."

I saw Charlie was relieved. He took the empty glass from me, said goodnight and closed the door behind him. I went to the bathroom to wash my face, my eyes were all puffy. When I walked back into my room, Bella was still sitting on my bed.

"Were you dreaming about Jake?"

"Why do you ask?"

What had I been screaming, for gods sake?

"You were screaming his name and you asked him to come back."

She was chewing on her lip again, as if scared over my answer. I turned my head away. I had screamed Jacob's name. During the day he was in my every thought and in my sleep he was haunting me. What had I done to God to be punished like this? I didn't know how to explain my dream to Bella. She would laugh at me if I told her I had dreamed that Jacob was a werewolf or anything of that kind.

"I don't really remember what I was dreaming. It was quite blurry. Thanks for waking me up."

I could see that she didn't really believe me, but she let it go. I didn't sleep well that night, waking up every other hour until I decided I had enough of it. If I couldn't sleep properly, I could just as well get up.

I had been laying aimlessly on the couch for a few hours, ignoring the looks Bella gave me from the other side of the room. I was grateful Charlie had gone fishing again, so at least I didn't have to deal with his pity. The sound of my phone pulled me out of my daydream. Confused I looked at the ID, surprised when I saw it was Embry.

"Hello?"

"Hey Eve, how are you?"

"Fine, I guess. You?"

"Just fine…"

An awkward silence settled over us and it seemed neither of us wanted to break it. From the other side of the line I heard faint whispering, as if Embry was discussing something with somebody.

"Euhm…what I wanted to ask you…do you want to come over? I'd like an other guitar lesson."

I bit my lip. I really didn't want to go to La Push: the chance of seeing Jacob there was simply too big.

"I don't know Embry."

After a short silence he gave a frustrated sigh.

"This is about Jake, right?"

"No! Maybe…I don't know, I'm just really busy with finals coming up and such…"

I heard the whispers again, and the rustling of paper. Embry was clearly not alone. My eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Please Eve? I'll come and pick you up, just for a little while. Please?

"Can't you come and I'll teach you here? Then I don't have to go all the way over to La Push."

A long silence followed again, with the occasional noise from the other side, as if Embry was discussing what he was about to say. An image of Jacob and Embry sitting together with the phone and Jacob encouraging Embry to get me to La Push flashed through my mind.

"I can't. I'm…grounded?"

"But you can come all the way to pick me up?"

I didn't even try to hide the sarcasm in my voice.

"Euhm…well…"

"Jacob is sitting next to you isn't he? You're just trying to get me to La Push, so we could make up."

A nervous laugh came from the other end, confirming my thought.

"What? No, don't be ridiculous."

"Seriously Embry! There's a reason why I don't want to see him."

"Ah Eve! I just want to see you ok? I know Jake fucked up by not coming, but that doesn't mean that I can't see you. I thought we were friends."

I let out a deep sigh. He got me there.

"Fine, you can pick me up then. But Jacob can better not be there, or I'll just leave again."

"Sure, no problem. See you in a few."

Embry, as always, was smiling when I opened the door. Not even the ever ongoing rain could keep that smile of his face. I scowled at him which only made him laugh more. Halfway the ride, Embry's smile had become so infectious that I couldn't help but smile too, my anger forgotten. I really thought that he would keep his part of the deal.
Apparently not.

We were walking up the steps to his house, when Jacob threw the door open. I froze the second I saw him, my heart accelerating instantly. I turned around to glare at Embry.

"You promised me Embry! You promised he wouldn't be here. I'm going back."

I didn't care about the downpour that was going on, if I had to, I would walk back home. I wanted to move past Embry, but he wouldn't let me. He grabbed both of my arms, keeping me in place. It didn't matter how hard I tried to get away, I couldn't escape his vicelike grip.

"Evelyn, you should just listen to him. Stop being an idiot."

I only shook my head and struggled harder against his grip on my arms. I felt tears forming in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Suddenly there was an other hand on my shoulder. Embry let go of me, but before I could even think of escaping, Jacob had turned me around so I would face him. As soon as his eyes locked with mine I couldn't look away. In his deep brown eyes I clearly saw the hurt and regret he was feeling, and it dulled my anger. I closed my eyes and pushed his hand of my shoulder.

"I knew you would be here."

"Will you at least let me explain?"

"Explain what Jacob? How much you hate me?"

His face first showed pain and then suddenly he was angry, taking a hold of my shoulder again.

"I don't hate you, ok? I like you! God, I'm just so confused."

A dry laugh escaped my mouth.

"You're confused? By what, your mood swings? How do you think that I feel? First you ignore me claiming how I am your problem and then suddenly you are all nice and flirty with me, just so you can stand me up! And you are confused?"

"I didn't stand you up on purpose! Something came up that needed my attention. I really tried to get out of it, but I couldn't."

I huffed and tried to get free from under his hand, but he just grabbed my other shoulder too.

"I swear! Please, believe me?"

I dared to look in his eyes again.

"Why is it that whenever I see you, we argue?"

He looked speechless and all I could do was give him a small broken smile. I looked down again, allowing a few tears to roll down my cheeks. Not that they were really visible with the rain steadily beating down on us. I must have looked like a drowned cat.

"You know what's the most confusing about all of this? Even though you are always annoying around me, you still managed to crawl under my skin. I can't concentrate on anything anymore, you are always occupying my thoughts and I just can't understand why. Why?"

I looked up again, desperately trying to find the answer in his eyes. Jacob was wearing his wolfish grin again, and the hands on my shoulders had turned into a gentle caress. My expression turned from desperate to suspicious in a few seconds.

"What are you smiling for?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you are cute when you're drenched?"

"Wh…"

The words died on my lips as Jacob softly kissed me.

OK, so far for chapter 8 :D I didn't really re-read it, so there were probably a lot of mistakes, so feel free to point them out ;) please leave a review

yaoi-will-save-the-world xxx