Zack Fair is my best friend. We met in our first year as Cadets. Hated each other at first, actually. But somewhere along the line, we realised that hating each other was pointless when we were so much more diabolical together!

Ever since then we've been near inseparable. We requested to room together once we graduated to SOLDIER and have been stuck with each other from then until now. We make a great pair, really we do! I'm the sneaky one. I go collect data and intelligence on our victims while Zack distracts them. Together, we unleash the ferocity and terror of our practical jokes! Really, it's quite hilarious to watch.

Huh.

I don't really know when things first began to change. Maybe it was when Director Lazard asked First Class SOLDIER Angeal Hewley to take Zack on as his apprentice. Angeal wasn't so sure about it, but Zack leaped at the chance. Literally. He became a carbon copy of Angeal in less than twenty-four hours. Even styled his hair in the same way.

I told Zack he looked like an idiot but he didn't care. He's always been like that. Doesn't give a damn about what anyone else thinks of him. Unless they're his superiors.

Everything was cool. Sure, he wasn't in my classes anymore because he was constantly with Angeal, but we still shared an apartment and occasionally got sent on missions together. Zack made up for his absence by telling wild stories about his missions with Angeal and always promising to buy me drinks when we got a chance to go out at night together. Our friendship wasn't the same as before, but it was still strong.

Then Zack got promoted.

As Cadets, we had promised each other to try and work hard enough so that all our promotions would happen at the same time. Whenever an instructor or superior commended one of us for our work, we would say that we couldn't have done it without our best buddy. And it worked. We graduated to Third Class SOLDIERs at the same time, as well as being promoted to Second Class SOLDIERs together.

But Zack broke our track record. Under normal circumstances, I would have been hurt. These circumstances were not normal. Angeal had deserted ShinRa and had been officially announced as being Killed In Action. Zack told me it was a lie, that he had seen Angeal since then. In the next breath he told me he'd been promoted.

His eyes were flat and lifeless as he told me. Zack didn't care about the promotion without his mentor there to congratulate him. So how on earth could I feel angry and upset that he had been promoted without me? I squashed those emotions as soon as they began to rise up.

Yet, I guess I should have seen it coming. Zack had been given a mentor, I hadn't. Zack was given higher priority missions when he was still a Second Class, I wasn't. Zack was simply a better SOLDIER than I was and I had to deal with it.

So I pushed my slight jealousy aside and swore to my best friend that I still had his back. We rarely saw each other now. Zack was always being deployed on missions and so was I. We messaged back and forth as much as we could.

That was how I found out about the next area of life that Zack was better at than me.

Zack has always been a flirt. I'm sure that when he was born, he tossed a wink to the nurse holding him instead of crying like any normal baby would. For some reason, girls don't find his flirting to be sleazy or creepy. He has this ... childish innocence about him and when he stares up at you with those huge blue, adorable eyes of his ...

It's no wonder that Angeal nick-named him a puppy! And it's no wonder that girls find it next to impossible to resist him.

Her name is Aerith. Soft, porcelain skin, wavy brown hair and eyes that you could drown in. Everything about her screams femininity and delicacy. I'm not surprised Zack was drawn to her. He's always wanted to be the hero and she was the perfect damsel in distress. They were perfect for each other.

Their perfection only made me more jealous.

It's stupid, I know. It's petty! But I just can't help it. Zack sent me a photo of Aerith once as he bragged about how awesome she was. In that picture I saw the girl of my dreams. In my best friend I saw the man I wished I could be, but never would be.

I tried not to let Zack know. I didn't want to hurt his feelings! Hurting Zack Fair's feelings is most literally like kicking a puppy. Zack is a very honest man. He is open about what he believes in and he is not ashamed to cry in front of others. I did not want to be the cause of his tears. So I acted the part that I had been delegated to since day one: the best friend.

I'm not saying that Zack Fair has had the easiest, cruisiest life in the world. Far from it! He had to kill his own mentor and bury two of our best friends! But it's not like I haven't faced my share of hard times.

I've killed children in the name of a company that I know is corrupt to the core and that I'm not sure I want to work for anymore. I've forced the men beneath me to commit atrocities that I knew they did not want to do. I've watched as other cadets and SOLDIERs were yelled at and abused by ShinRa before being thrown out with nothing left to their names anymore. I've watched it happen and known that I had the ability to stop the abuse, but was not permitted to because of my rank and my orders.

All that – and more – in the name of a company that is evil, perverted and does not care for its employees except to use them. It is not right and I'm not surprised that Angeal and Genesis finally decided that they couldn't stand it anymore. I don't blame them. I've had similar thoughts, myself.

Everybody faces hard times in their lives. Zack and I have both faced lots of them. And I know I shouldn't be jealous but I just can't stop myself!

At least Zack has a soft pair of arms to fall into when it all gets to be too much. At least he has the love and respect of the people as one of the last First Class SOLDIERs. I don't have any of that. No-one in the public even knows who I am. No girl waits for me to get back from my missions so she can kiss away my pain.

I just ... I don't know. I'm so lame and pathetic. I wish I could be a better person.

But at the end of the day, I guess I'm just sick of being the best friend. For once in my life, I want to be the guy at the centre of attention. I want to be the guy who has a beautiful, trustworthy girl to call his own. I don't want to play the part of the best friend anymore.

Zack's been sent to Costa del Sol for vacation. I just can't believe it! Vacation? Really? I've got more missions than I could complete in a lifetime and he's been sent to relax and sunbake on a beach?

Whatever.

I'm not going to complain anymore. Losing Zack's friendship is not worth it. Because at the end of the day, Zack is the one person I know I can count on, no matter how bad things get. Even if he's on the side of the world, I know that if I ask for help, he will do everything in his power to get that help to me.

So there's no point in whining and moaning about what could have been and who I'm not. I am me and Zack is Zack. I would not change him for the world! He's my best friend. And I am his.

I guess, sometimes that's just got to be enough.