Our Lives

Hurried, panting breaths. A party of five people dashed through the woods, at their head a tall, blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit. Their feet barely touched the surface of the snow as they ran, leaving only the slightest imprint. The orange-suited boy skidded to a stop at a small overhang overlooking a large, frozen lake, where the forest came to an end. For a long moment, he said nothing, as if he were just another snow-laden tree. Then, heedless of the cries of the people behind him, he jumped down the slope.

Deidara was conscious of a distant shouting. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut in discomfort.

'The noise...' He thought distantly. 'It's annoying... Just leave me in peace...' Yet the person, whoever it was, kept talking to him- to him and someone else, but Deidara couldn't remember who this 'Sai' was. More than that, the loud obnoxious voice brought back feeling to his body, making it remember what pain felt like.

The shadow lifted. Bright morning light came back in full force, along with his memories. Eyes going wide, Deidara stared at Naruto's careworn face. Seeing him fully alert, Naruto kept talking.

"I couldn't help myself, so I went and got reinforcements, but it looks like you two didn't need help." he said, and gave him a wide grin. "You guys scared me."

Deidara shifted his head, and saw a head of pink hair with a red headband tied the middle of it. The head lifted, revealing two very familiar green eyes.

"Relax," Sakura said soothingly. "It's over now." Her hands were hovering over his chest, a comforting green glow around them. Deidara let his head fall back onto its pillow of snow.

"Sai..." he muttered. "Is he...safe?"

A shadow passed over Naruto's eyes, and for a moment Sakura's healing jutsu faltered.

"He's already being taken back to Konoha." Naruto told him with false cheerfulness. "Just focus on getting better, alright? Soon as you're able to travel, we'll follow them."

Naruto charged up one flight of stairs after another, cheeks still pink from the wintry air. Turning left, he took one step up, and found himself right behind someone.

"Whoa!" Naruto cried, taking one step down. He recovered quickly, but the man in front of him kept going as if he hadn't heard anything. His steps were slow and meandering, hand resting loosely on the railing. His blonde hair tumbled down his back, unbound by any ties or braid, and as such it took Naruto a moment before he realized who he had almost knocked down. "Hey, Deidara! Are you coming to visit Sai, too?" he bounded up the stairs and then slowed to match his friend's pace.

"There's no point..." Deidara muttered quietly. "That spy you had here who was under Raidan's control died. It's only a matter of time before Sai does, too..."

Naruto paused momentarily, the words hitting him like a tidal wave. "But Iruka's okay, and Raidan was controlling him for a while, too. He made a full recovery!." He protested.

Deidara's eyes were dull and faded, staring blankly at the stairs beneath his feet. "He was able to be healed right away. It's going to be too late now, mm. You should have let me die when I had the chance... At least then, I was ready, and then I wouldn't have to live alone agai- ahh!" he broke off with a short, startled cry as Naruto pushed him, sending him crashing against the wall. Deidara winced and grabbed the railing to hold himself up, his slowly healing stomach wound making its displeasure known. However, Naruto didn't apologize. The Jinchuuriki shoved his face right in front of his, glaring fiercely at him..

"Is that what you really believe?" Naruto demanded. "Do you think that you're the only damn one who's worried? Do you think that you're the only one who's upset?" His voice shook. "Do you think I could stand losing another friend? The trust you have in us- it's disgusting! I thought you knew Sai better than that. He's not going to just give up on us now, not if we keep visiting him and showing him that there's still something left for him here!"

Mouth set in a thin line, Deidara gave Naruto a tiny nod, and the boy returned it with a small smile.

"I... I'm ready now, mm." Slightly embarrassed, Deidara turned away and kept walking. Naruto followed after him in silence. However, when they reached Sai's room and entered, Naruto almost gave up on his own words as he saw the boy. Sai looked terrible. Both of his eyes were closed, a little bit of hair falling across them. An oxygen mask covered part of his face, clear plastic slightly misting with each breath. If not for that, neither of them would have guessed that he was still alive.

Feeling hopeless, Deidara sat down on the edge of his bed and brushed some of the hair away from Sai's face. There was no response, and his hand dropped limply to his side.

"I should have gone with you guys." Naruto said softly. "Before I left, I talked to Ino... I- I promised her that I'd keep him safe. I could have done something- anything, and everything would be okay. But now, I've let her down."

Deidara glanced sympathetically up at Naruto. "I'm sure she doesn't blame you or anything, mm."

"She doesn't." Naruto replied. "But I wish she did."

Sakura sipped her tea, trying to rid herself of the chill that threatened to cloud her thoughts. There was a coldness pervading the atmosphere that had nothing to do with the snow piled around the Yamanaka clan's main house. Ino was sitting across from her, legs folded underneath her and still-full cup of tea held in her lap. The other girl's eyes were still red from crying, and every now and then she would rub them furiously.

"He's not getting any worse, Ino." Sakura tried to console her. Her own voice was weary, displaying prominently the many nights she had spent trying to take care of the two injured arrivals. Neither of them had slept at all the past two days, spending their time either in the hospital, or on the training ground, trying to vent pent-up emotions. Rock Lee had been shadowing Sakura for hours on end, stopping her from overexerting herself and making sure she took occasional rests. 'Once I used to think he was annoying for always following me around... but now, I see he really does care.' Sakura thought. She had just managed to get rid of him when Ino invited her over. The hyperactive chunin, always so cheerful, had sobered up in light of recent events, and understood that sometimes girls needed girl time. 'But, when I leave, he'll be there. Ino... Ino's got nobody.'

"But he's not getting any better." Ino sighed. She set her tea aside, hardly glancing at it. "Oh, god... I was praying and praying for them to come home, but not like this. I was thinking, that once they came back, everything would be okay somehow. That they wouldn't have to run anymore, and could stay here in peace, and we'd all live in peace, our lives going back to normal..." The Yamanaka girl broke off with a small sob, and Sakura scooted over, drawing her close. "And- and I was hoping, we'd all be like a family, and... I actually thought I'd marry Sai someday... but now, he's going to..."

Despite her doubts, Sakura put on a soothing tone. "Stop talking like that day's never going to come. It's impossible for it not to."

Little snowflakes, turned orange in the glow of the lanterns, floated down from the roofs of houses as a strong wind blew them off. However, the skies were clear, letting the bright light of a full moon add its light to the village. People were walking about the town, carrying about their business as usual. Christmas had come and gone, and now the village of Konoha was back to its usual, bustling self.

Deidara gritted his teeth, hand snaking to the pouch at his side before he realized what he was doing and swiftly snatched it away. 'They've no right to be happy.' he thought savagely. 'Not today.'

"Excuse me, sir?" The waitress asked timidly. His head shot up, and he glared daggers at the girl. "W-would you like to order anything?"

"Two green teas would be fine." A new, deeper voice said coolly. Neji slid into the seat opposite Deidara's, giving the waitress a reassuring smile. The jonin was dressed in a traditional long men's kimono, but otherwise he was the same as ever. "You'll have to excuse my appearance, Deidara. I just escaped from acting out in a play."

Deidara eyed him cautiously. "It's no problem." he said at last. "Last time I saw you, you were half-dead after the fight with Sasuke. Healing up well?"

"Yes, thank you." Neji acknowledged. "Just another scar to add to the list, right?"

Deidara gave him a thin smile. "That's the life of a shinobi for you, mm. The lucky ones get away with scars. The unlucky ones..."

"You and Sai must be the lucky ones, then." Neji leaned forwards, placing his hands on the table. "They took him off of the oxygen, after he started showing signs of improvement, and woke up just an hour ago. If things keep progressing the way they are now, he'll be on the road to recovery."

There was a long pause, filled by the distant sound of laughter and a late-night mandolin concert.

"He's- he's okay?" Deidara whispered. Neji nodded.

"Ino's been with him, but I made her go home to sleep before I left. Sai's been asking after you, so I told him I'd come get you."

In a daze, Deidara rose from his seat. "I'll see you later," he blurted, before running off. Several indignant cries arose as people were jostled in the man's haste. The Hyūga sat in silence for a long minute.

"Excuse me sir, but your teas are ready." Two cups of the green liquid were set down on the table, and the waitress blinked in confusion. "Is your friend in the bathroom?"

"No, he had to leave on short notice. You can have his tea- I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Deidara's heart pounded as he raced through the dark hallways. Occasionally, he passed by a startled nurse, but didn't bother to stop and answer their questions. 'No running in the halls? Hmph, like it matters now.' Something inside him was telling him to hurry, though he wasn't sure exactly why. However, as his hand closed around the cold metal doorknob, his footsteps stilled. What waited for him in the room beyond? Neji had said that Ino had talked to Sai, that he was apparently well enough to speak. But what if that changed in the time it took for him to get there?

Shaking off his doubts, Deidara opened the door.

The first thing he saw was a dark, thin shape outlined by moonlight. The curtains were thrown open, letting a shaft of the pale silvery light come through. Sai was sitting up, staring out the window with one hand loosely clasping the other. Deidara noiselessly closed the door behind him, gaze focused on his friend. On the surface, Sai looked normal- almost better than normal, no bruises or cuts remaining on his face, no unhealthy flush or sheen. As Deidara came closer, he saw that Sai's face was more drawn and tired than usual. He seemed like a porcelain doll- seemingly flawless on the outside, but extremely fragile, as if he could break at any moment.

The bed creaked slightly as Deidara sat on it.

"How do you feel?" Sai asked, turning to look at him directly.

"Better." Deidara placed one hand on his stomach and then let it fall. "Can't eat much, though. And you?"

Sai shrugged, and gave him a wan smile. "Better. I'm not going to be fighting any dickless blonde Jashinist villains anytime soon... but eventually, I'll be able to. That is, if there's any left."

Deidara chuckled quietly. "What kind of hell would we live in if there were more people like Raidan in the world?"

Sai smiled, thinking of Naruto, of Ino, of Sakura, Kiba, Neji, Rock Lee, Hinata, Kakashi, Kazu, and Deidara himself. "A pretty good one." he replied. "Because it's the people around us that make living here worthwhile."

The man's blue eyes were soft as he glanced out at the village through the window. "Hey, Sai... All this time, I thought I was fighting for myself, mm. After the war, with so many people stopping by and talking to me, and working with the kids at the school... I realized something. All my life, I've been shunned for who I was. My destructive personality and my destructive art- people hated that. I made my first friend in Sasori-danna, then you, Sai. But this is the first time that I've ever been generally liked by people." Deidara's eyes, when they looked into Sai's own, were full of uncertainty. "I don't know what it's like for you Konoha shinobi... your 'Will of Fire'. I never knew what it was like to be willing to die for a cause, mm." The blonde gave a short bark of laughter. "Hell, I was a pretty selfish brat. But now... I think I know. You don't just die for the village. You die for all of the people in the village, all of your friends and comrades. You die to give them a chance to live. And for the first time ever, when fighting Raidan, I was prepared to do just that."

A light, cold hand was placed on Deidara's shoulder. Startled, the man looked up, to see Sai smiling at him.

"You know what, Deidara?" Sai said happily. "I'm glad that you're- that we're still alive. Dying for the living is only part of it. I don't understand people's feelings that much, but even I know that those left living will always be stuck mourning until it's their own time. Being prepared to was enough." Sai let his hand drop back to his side, and leaned back against the wall, sliding down its length until his head rested on his pillow. "I'm getting tired..." he murmured. "Do you mind staying a while?"

"Not in the least." Deidara answered. "Just make sure to wake up in the morning."

Sai yawned and nodded sleepily, eyes closing. Within moments, his breathing became soft and even. Deidara sat for a while longer, watching him to make sure he was all right. Then, with careful movements, he rose and glided out of the room.

The resident wing of Konoha Hospital's hallways were dark at that time of night. Wishing to avoid any awkward questions, Deidara opened a window and leapt through, landing safely on the ground with a glance up at the moon. One o'clock in the morning. The air was freezing, and the streets were silent. Deidara stuck his hands in his pockets, feet crunching in the layer of snow lingering upon the ground.

Dark shadows shifted back and forth in the small apartment room. Deidara hung up his coat and turned to survey it. Along with Sai's paintings on the walls, he had put some of his own clay models here and there. A clay bird hung from the ceiling, and a centipede ran along the length of the wall, its outstretched legs serving as hooks to hang coats, hats, or scarves. Kicking his shoes off, Deidara flopped down on the couch, pulling a blanket over his body.

When we first left Akatsuki... I didn't really have hope of seeing another tomorrow. Never getting to see who finally gets to win in the end, never getting to see whether it's our side or theirs going down with a bang. They're still out there... but I've a feeling that they won't try for us again. Not now, not when the stakes are too high. And that's just fine by me.' Deidara yawned, turning over onto his side. 'Strange thing, peace.' he thought sleepily. 'Used to hate it... but now I kinda like it...'

Snuggling deeper into the sheets he finally was able to find solace in sleep, with the final thought that no matter who won in the end, at least for them, there would always be another tomorrow.

(A/N: Two Years Later)

Loud, young voices raised in laughter and excited chatter filled the room. At the head of the classroom, a tall blonde man with his hair drawn back into a long braid sighed, leaning forwards in his chair. A shinobi's forehead protector was tied around his head, holding back his long bangs. Impatiently, he tapped the desk. When the class of seven-year-olds kept talking, his fist came down. Everyone jumped, including the teacher, as the desk cracked ominously. A few splinters of wood dropped down onto the floor.

"Oh, sorry!" Deidara apologized sheepishly. "You all were talking so loud, I wasn't sure how hard to hit the thing!"

"We're sorry, Deidara-sensei!" His students chorused.

"Neh, neh, Dei-sensei, when is he coming? What are we gonna do?" One student called out. He had bright brown eyes, his mop of dark green hair as messy and tangled as ever.

"First of all, Kazu-chan, our visitor's going to give you a haircut, mm!" Deidara wagged a finger at him. "That is, I'll ask him to if you're not patient."

"But Dei-sensei, you're not patient yourself!" Kazu protested. Deidara was saved by replying by a distant barking. A loud voice floated through the doorway.

"Hey- no, wait! It's not time for us yet! Wait! WAIT!"

Three large dogs burst into the room, barking excitedly. Some kids screamed, but with delight instead of fear. One of the dogs leapt on a pink-haired girl, licking her face and hands. The girl giggled, her arms reaching up around the nin-dog's neck to bury her hands in its mane of thick hair. A feral-looking man entered Classroom 5D, dark brown hair wilder than even Kazu's and two bright red markings prominent on his cheeks. A huge, ivory-coloured dog with a ragged tail followed closely behind him, tail wagging back and forth at the speed of light.

"Class, this is Kiba-san, and he'll be-" Deidara's voice was drowned out by the happy shrieks of children at play. The three other dogs had quickly made themselves at home, one giving itself over to the ministration of the girls, letting them put bows in its hair and on its tail. The other two ran around the classroom, playing a multi-species tag. Desks were knocked over and books stepped on, but nobody seemed to notice. Frustrated, Deidara cleared his throat in preparation to shout, but Kiba interrupted him.

"Let it go, Deidara." he said easily. "They're kids. Give them today off- especially today."

Deidara exhaled and grinned at his friend. "You're coming, too?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Kiba sounded affronted. "So how's the job going, miss?"

Deidara shook his head in mock disappointment. "Watch it, doggy boy. This time, I'm not in chains, so I can turn you into art any second I want."

"Oh yeah?" Kiba grinned, showing his pointed teeth. "Well, this time I've got Akamaru with me. Against the two of us, there's no way you can win." Akamaru barked in agreement, tail sticking straight up for a minute before returning to its constant wagging.

"I'd take you on any day, but..." Deidara jerked his head in the direction of the children. "Can't in front of the young ones, mm. Personal rule."

Kiba took a seat on Deidara's desk, making it creak in protest. He surveyed the scene before him with a keen eye, noting how even in their excitement in getting to play, basic rules weren't forgotten. A boy, after accidentally knocking a girl over in his haste to tag one of the dogs, went back and apologized. Kazu was kneeling and picking up a stack of books that had fallen on the floor, standing on tiptoe to put them back in their place.

"You've done a good job with them." Kiba absentmindedly stroked Akamaru's head. "To tell the truth, I was just curious to see how you haven't died yet teaching these guys. I'd be miserable if I couldn't go out on missions that often due to having to teach a buncha kids. But now that I can see for myself, this is a pretty good life ya have here."

A desk toppled over, and the two adults flinched.

"Yep, it's a good life!" Deidara chirped, before getting up to go restore order.

Bright summer sunlight made alternating patterns of light and shadow upon the thick, green grass. Rosebushes intermixed with crabapple trees lined the stone walkways of the garden. Occasional, artfully placed patches of flowers were being carefully attended to by a plethora of honeybees and butterflies. Meanwhile, an odd amount of rice intermixed with pink rose petals that was spilled over the cobblestones of one wide garden path provided a place for birds of all types to feed.

Laughter drifted through the air, along with the sweet, lyrical sounds of a flute quartet. The large path opened up into a small, rose-bush enclosed expanse of grass, where a small crowd of people had gathered. They were all attired in suits and dresses, hair neatly combed (or in some partygoer's cases, with pieces of the unfortunate comb stuck in the wild tangles). A cheer erupted from a number of people watching the dancing going on as Naruto pulled Hinata into the fray, swinging her around and almost losing his tie in the process.

"Yeah, go for it, Naruto!" Yamato cheered, raising his wineglass. Kakashi, standing next to him, impetuously reached up and knocked his own glass against the wood-user's, spilling a little bit of the burgundy liquid onto the ground. "Sempaaii... you made me spill some!"

"It was my own drink that spilled, not yours!" Kakashi protested.

Sai could not help laughing as he spun by the arguing adults, his hands interlocked with Ino's. The Yamanaka was wearing a long white dress that looked like the gentle, flowing petals of a snow-white lily, her dainty feet enclosed in slippers of the same colour.

"You're laughing so much, Sai!" Ino smiled up at him as they stepped sideways. Sai's odd eyes were bright and filled with laughter. He had eventually decided to forgo wearing the eyepatch, when Ino had reassured him that there was nothing to be ashamed about. After all, he didn't require energy when using his other eye, unlike Kakashi and his Sharingan.

"I am?" Sai twirled Ino around, stepping backwards. "I'm sorry, but I just can't help it. I feel as if... I feel as if I'm so happy, I can't stop smiling. My face is beginning to ache since it's not used to using those muscles yet, but I still can't stop. Is that unusual?"

It was Ino's turn to laugh, and her fingers tightened around his, squeezing his hand. "Maybe it is for you, but it's a good thing!"

"Sai!"

The couple stopped, turning around to see Sakura and Tenten waving at them.

"Can you spare us your wife for a minute? We've gotta give her a girl's send-off before we give her to you for good!" Tenten yelled. Ino blushed, but Sai didn't take notice.

"Of course." he replied courteously. "I suppose I'll have to hang out with the men for a while, Ino." Pulling her closer, he kissed her and squeezed her hand again before letting go, ignoring Sakura and Tenten's giggles. "Is that all right with you?"

"Completely." Ino smiled. "Don't worry, I'll be right back." Sai watched her run off and join the two other kunoichi, who then embarked on a mission to borrow Hinata from Naruto.

"Girls..." A familiar voice said behind him. "I'll never understand them, mm."

Deidara walked up to stand beside Sai, outfitted in a suit much like his. The man nudged him and pointed to a smaller path to their left, partially shadowed by a particularly vibrant crabapple tree. Its dark branches were weighed down by a mass of pink and white blossoms, drooping over the entrance to the walkway.

"Wanna go for a walk?" he questioned. Sai shrugged and followed. Soon enough, the sounds of the party faded away, to be replaced by the chirps of birds and the faint drone of pollinating bees. "Well, you were busy earlier, but now I can say congratulations, mm."

"Thanks." Sai looked at Deidara's suit critically. "Your tie is coming loose."

"Oh, damnit." The blonde impatiently pulled at the knot, tightening it to an uncomfortable length. "If I ever get married, everyone can come in whatever they like, none of this fancy crap. Though, I don't know why I'd ever want to get married. I've got enough kids to deal with back at the Academy."

Before he knew it, Sai found himself laughing again.

"What?" Deidara demanded.

"Nothing." Sai said, eyes twinkling. "It's just good to be alive."

Deidara paused, and then his blue eyes crinkled in a smile. "Sure is." he agreed, and for a moment, both of them were lost in fond memories. "Say, how about we go on a mission together tomorrow, just like old times?"

Sai's gaze drifted to the sky. They'd be flying again, on their way to yet more battles. They'd fight, face getting hurt or killed time again and again. But the difference was that now, they could always come back whenever they wanted. They'd never have to leave the village again, for whatever reason.

"Yeah." he replied. "I'd like that."

Well, thank you all for staying with me so long. I'm sorry if things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to- I had a different ending planned, but I decided against it (actually, I had their deaths planned). I know how disappointing it is following a story then have it go a way that you really dislike, and I'm sorry. I'm not so great at endings, either.

And now that I can focus my time on other things- I'm open for story ideas =) I have a nice one about the team of Naruto/Sakura/Sai forming in my head (yes, with Danzō as the primary antagonist this time, I can't help myself), but I'd appreciate feedback on that- (should I make a poll?)

and once again, thank you for reading! =) For some reason, I feel so happy and sad at the same time... but it's a nice feeling.