I am officially a monster. Officially. I am soo sorry for my wicked long hiatus. I had a lot of stuff going on, but I'm going to try really, really hard to not update like, once a year. I love you all and all of the really nice things you guys have said about my stories. I'm hoping now that my writing style will have improved and matured, but who knows?

I picked my head off of the counter and swore. There was light streaming through the windows, and the entire house seemed to be silent. I had failed. Glancing around the kitchen, I realized that Pein was not in front of me. My eye twitched irritably. I had never been good at pulling all-nighters, even with more sugar in my system than in the entirety of Europe.

I stood silently and crept through the kitchen and peered to my immediate right. Liza and Elisabeth were passed out on the floor in the mud room. None of the Akatsuki members were there.

I kept moving down the hallway, and glanced into the bathroom. Was that a pair of pants? How does someone loose their pants? Whatever.

Finally, I returned to Liza's living room. I did a mental checklist. Liza and Elisabeth were in the other room, Mikayla was still on the floor where she was last night. Samantha was laying on one of the coffee tables, drooling slightly. Classy. Alicia looked like she was in a bushy pink cocoon of death, thanks to her sleeping bag, Raquel was sprawled out in an 'X' shape with a copy of Great Expectations laying across her glasses, and Riley was curled in a ball surrounded by like, 7 pillows. It looked strange.

Now that I knew all of my girls were here, I let out a big sigh. But where were the Akatsuki?

*BOOM*

"TOOBIIIII! I'm going to kill you!"

What in the world? Was that the girly man?

"No Deidara-Sempai! Tobi is Sorry!"

"Come here you little-"

I shot them a harsh glare as the girly man and the Liza-copy rushed into the living room. "Excuse me, gentleman. But I do insist that if you are going to blow each other to smithereens, you should commence that quietly. Outside, if need be. Because if you can't tell, it's not eleven yet, which means that everything needs to be silent."

"Why, un?" the girly man looked at me with a grin?

I shuddered. "Because you'll wake Liza up, and that would be hazardous to your health."

He scoffed at me and shook his head. "There is no way that any of you," he said, gesturing to first me, then all of my friends, "could do ANYTHING to harm me."

Smirking, I shrugged. "I wouldn't be so sure about that one, but if you would rather take your chances, I don't want to be caught in the crossfire." I gave one definitive glance around the room, and then started to leave when I heard a soft cough from the doorway.

My face drained of all color as I turned around.

"Daddy, what was that noise?" Liza stood in the doorway with a blanket draped across her shoulders. It seemed as though a dark shadow had enveloped the space around her, absorbing all of the light that had tried to surround the usually cheery girl.

With no expression on my face, I gesticulated vaguely in the Blondie's direction. "I don't know Liza. Maybe you should ask him." I shot him an evil look from over my shoulder, and then walked by Liza to get to the kitchen.

It probably was a mistake to leave them at her mercy at such an early time of day, but it really wasn't my problem to begin with. Unless someone died, she could feel free to do to them what she pleased. It was her house, right?

I started shuffling around the kitchen, grabbing the things I would need to make a very large breakfast. I had grabbed a large bowl and was whisking together the eggs and the milk when I heard a scream from the other room. It was quickly followed by a door slam, and then hysterical laughter.

"What the mother-fucking hell? Blondie, you are getting your ass served to you by Blondie number two! This is fucking hilarious!"

Another two door slams later and a lot of 'I can't see, un' and 'Move it's and I finally decided to see what was going on. With a sigh, I put down the bowl and sauntered into the living room.

I burst out laughing, just like the rest of the Akatsuki. Well, all of the Akatsuki except for Deidara, who was currently being pinned to the floor by a very unhappy Liza. She wasn't hitting him, but instead was doing something far more scarring- she was putting his hair into about 30 pigtails. He was yelling profanities, but that didn't help him regain any of his masculinity. As hilarious as this sight was though, it needed to stop at some point.

"Liza, can you help me in the kitchen? I'm making waffles." Liza's head snapped up and her eyes sparkled.

"Will they have chocolate chips? I like chocolate chips…" I rolled my eyes, then nodded.

"Sure."

"YAYYYYYY DADDY!" Liza flung herself off of Deidara, and then flew by me into the kitchen. I looked down at Deidara with no remorse.

"Dude, you can't say I didn't warn you." Deidara glared at my retreating back as I strode back into the kitchen. Unbeknownst to me, almost all of the Akatsuki followed me into the kitchen. It wasn't until Liza was able to see fully what she had done to Deidara and burst out laughing until I realized I had company.

"Can I help you guys?" I asked as I picked up the bowl with the liquid ingredients and began to stir again.

"Yeah, we are fucking starving." Hidan stated, collapsing onto one of the chairs next to the kitchen island.

"What he meant to say," Kisame started, gesturing to the Hidan, "was if there was any way we could help prepare breakfast. I realize that we are imposing at this point, and would like to aid you in any way possible."

"I'm pretty sure that I meant to tell the bitch to hurry up because I am FUCKING STARVING." Hidan loudly groaned and swung his arms to emphasize his point.

Liza suddenly strode toward Hidan with an evil glint in her eye. Deidara visibly shuddered, but Hidan didn't waver in his pout.

"Did you call my daddy a bitch? That's not very nice, Hidan."

"Yeah, so what if I did? What are you going to do about it?" he challenged, smirking.

"I will tie you up outside by your thumbs, then slowly slice down your abdomen. I will then rip out all of your intestines and feed them to the birds, who, once done devouring your liver, will slowly start to pick away at your carcass until there is nothing left but your bones and your thumbs, still tied to the rope." Liza finished her threat, turned on her heel, and walked back towards me with a smile on her face. Everyone in the room, excluding Liza and I, were all shocked and horrified by the happy-go-lucky blonde's sudden murderous outburst.

"She's fucking crazy, yeah." Deidara said finally, breaking the long drawn out silence.

"Aren't all blondes?" I asked with a sly grin.

And that is the latest chapter. Nothing really important happened, but let's be serious. In my stories, what really happens? NOTHING.

I am going to not leave you guys hanging like that again. Pretty much all of my other stories are on potentially permanent hiatus, just because I don't think I can pick those up. I'm going to really push for this one, because I enjoy it a lot too.

As always, reviews make me happy, although I won't blame you if you're all mad at me for not updating within the last century

Lurvles,

Anya.