A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the once again very long wait. In less than a year, I have lost three of my family members. Time was hard for me but I hope it will be better from now on. And hopefully the updates will come more regularly from now on as well.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

~~ Going Into Hiding ~~

~~ 12. March, Early Midday ~~

The continuous noise of hammering and knocking, followed by shouts and calls interrupted his precious dream of sweet nothingness. Ryoma turned around in the bed, pressed his face against the kinda hard but still fluffily warm pillow, sighed deeply and pulled the blanket closer to his head and under his chin.

A dream, not a nightmare, a real dream of nothingness had guided him through the whole night, through the entire time of sleep. No interruptions, no scream or imagination of darkness, guilt or death.

His body felt heavy and exhausted, just like his mind felt tired but he wasn't in a state of panic or fear with hammering heart and every oxygen forced out of his lungs which was a first after weeks. He felt at ease, a sensation he hadn't felt for so long...

A feeling he had missed and yearned for without knowing it so clearly. Ryoma soaked it up, everything of this feeling. He didn't care about anything else at the moment and right then it was just pure bliss after having only lived through those sleep-wrecking horrors of a nightmare, day after day after day.

A fine scent of fresh cloth, green tea and something pleasantly unfamiliar but still not unknown caressed his nose and filled him with more calmness. He had smelt this intoxicating scent before but couldn't remember when or where. Nevertheless, it gave him a feeling of safety.

Someone shouted from the outside, the echo of the yell numbed due to the closed door. What was wrong with this person at the door?!

If he had the strength, Ryoma would have ripped the door open, yelled at the person and slammed the door right in his or her face again.
Sadly, he didn't have any strength at all to even move his body a little bit. The warmth and comfortableness were just too tempting and kept him in bed, covered by a fluffy blanket and a heavenly comfortable pillow.

Someone else in the bedroom groaned in annoyance by the continuous noise, two other pulled their covers over their heads, while the fourth sat up and cursed under his breath. At least he wasn't the only one who had already woken up, more or less, from the nuisance.

"Who dares to interrupt Ore-sama's sleep so early in the morning?!" Atobe left his bed and stomped out of the room, cursing all along. Monkey King was also no morning person, just like him. Ryoma grinned. He wouldn't have believed that they had at least one thing in common. Obviously, he had been mistaken. The sudden image of a certain bluenette and their maybe second thing on common was immediately pushed aside. Better not ruin the moment and cause any stress.

"Who is it?" Yukimura grumbled sleepily with his voice raw and husky from sleep. It was kinda… it caused goosebumps over his skin.

"Hopefully not... It's too early…" Sanada replied in irritation, the rest of the sentence ended up muffled by a stifled yawn. The black-haired teen moved in his creaking bed, probably stretching his body or sitting up. The image of Sanada not being one of those people who slept long nor stayed long in bed without doing anything entered Ryoma's mind. It would at least fit the image he had grown used to. Sanada and Tezuka had both given him this impression of being active as soon as they woken up, not messing around and wasting any time. The opposite of him.

"Even if it isn't her, we shouldn't let our guards down." Tezuka said with an unusual deep voice, probably due to the lack of sleep. Ryoma heard his captain yawn lightly and felt the whole bed moving when his captain seemed to stretch his lean and muscular body, rocking Ryoma's body with it in some ways. Though, Ryoma wasn't moving at all...

Oh!

Shit!

"Saa, Mitsu…" Fuji moved in his bed, the sound of rustling revealing his movement. "… it's already past 9 o'clock. We have all overslept."
Fuji chuckled in amusement, his voice light and gentle, though still a bit rough. Shivers ran through his body. Since when had his tea- no, not his team mates. They were friends that was what they had said. Since when had his friends such strong effecting voices? Had they always sounded so... indescribable?

Ryoma stifled the groan out of habit when Tezuka tried to move and dug his nails into it to keep them from moving. He wasn't anywhere near of being ready to face his embarrassing mistake. He had slept with his captain in the same bed another time, his head resting on Tezuka's shoulder and chest. How embarrassing!

Tezuka halted in his position, his body stiffening. Maybe Ryoma could move away, make it look like he was shifting in his sleep before anybody noticed their position... At least then he wouldn't appear so clingy... and intimate...with one of his new friends... which had obviously already a... b-boyfriend... or something like that...

So what did him and Tezuka look like?
What kind of picture were they making?

How did Tezuka and he look together...? As friends, of course. Right at the moment, probably a picture of too close friends...
He had more body contact with another person since he moved to Japan than he ever had in the rest of his life before that time.
Not even his parents had given him such warmth... It was strange, really. Strange but also pretty... comfortable.

Wait...
Why was he thinking that?!

Monkey King reached the door, arguing with the person in a very unlike manner. Ryoma heard the yell, the snarl in the diva's voice was clearly hearable. The hand embracing him rest on his spine, stroking the skin underneath his shirt so tenderly. The full-body shudder overwhelmed and surprised him.

WHAT WAS TEZUKA DOING?!

What if the others saw them?!
Or had Monkey King and Fuji already seen it and were just polite enough not to mention it?
Would they be mad at him?

No, they had just laughed and called it cute when this had happened before.
No one had been mad at him... which didn't make this any better, because it was still embarrassing as hell to sleep like this next to a guy...
Like a magnet... it was happening whenever he was close to them...

They truly had already changed him without him really recognizing the changes within. Another shudder overtook him, curling his toes as Tezuka's hand circled the skin above his butt. What was going on?!

"We shouldn't wake him. It's probably better to let him sleep here and take a look around before he walks to practice." Sanada suggested, footsteps growing louder with each step until they paused right behind him.

Oh, God!
Shit!
Was his shudder visible?
Was anyone of them noticing?

"Saa, we can take a look around while Mitsu continues being used once more as a pillow. It's kind the cute picture, ne."

"Syusuke!" Tezuka's tone was low, deep and hushed but even so, the warning in it was gentle and in vain as Fuji chuckled louder and Ryoma found himself unable to move in any way, the feeling of all eyes on him so strong it froze him.

What was going on here!?

"Ryoma, are you already awake?" Fuji asked, his voice gentle and soft. A hand ruffled his hair tenderly.
Did they already know about him being awake?

A shriek, high in tone and ear-piercing, startled the hell out of him and the others. A female shriek, a familiar shriek.

Tsukiko.

Ryoma jumped, all color and heat drained from his skin and all earlier thoughts and confusions were forgotten. He turned hurriedly around, leaning on his elbows to see if she had already entered the house, the safe zone. The only place where she hadn't gotten a hold of him so far. His vision was blurry from the fast movement but he was trying hard to see nonetheless, blinking quickly.

His heart was racing instantly but not in the same way than before. Now it was out of fear and complete discomfort.

"I want to see him. That's all." Tsukiko responded snappily, obviously not liking being kept away. A timber of fear, of desperation vibrated in her voice and guilt dared to whelm up and squeeze his heart together till it hurt. Where was the line? When would she start having flashbacks and harming herself?
It would be his fault if sh-

No! For fuck's sake, he wouldn't feel guilty. NO!

He had made a decision, backing out now was too late. He couldn't bear it any longer. He would break himself if he didn't stop with this game, he just wasn't ready to tell Tsukiko or anybody should or could he tell her without hurting her?

Was there even a way?
Was it even possible?

No, he wouldn't back out.
No matter what.

He couldn't!

He just couldn't!

They knew and would help him. They promised in some way!
Would his parents blame him for his decision?

Another shudder overwhelmed him and he jolted together by its force, sitting up entirely but not leaving the bed yet.

"Ah, Ore-sama has just told you that he is still asleep and you shouldn't interrupt him with his training."

"I'm not interrupting him in anything. Ryoma is always sleeping too long. Waking him up won't be an annoyance."

"It will be as you're interrupting his sleep and therefore his concentration later on at practice."

"Your coach has actually asked me to get all of you to practice because you're late. Also, I'm certain Ryoma wants to see me!"

"No, he doesn't, Lady. Ore-sama won't ask him while he is asleep. Ryoma needs his rest because he felt sick yesterday. Therefore, practice is out of line today too." Monkey King was amusingly creative in ditching commands and orders, that's something Ryoma would give him credits for. Nevertheless, he also knew it wouldn't keep his cousin away. He knew her far too good to understand her need to see him and be calm once again after seeing for herself what she wanted and needed.

The others eavesdropped too and were wide awake by now. Though, there was no further conversation. There was only silence. Simple silence which indicated nothing good. Tsukiko was rarely quiet when she had set her mind on something, always chatting and demanding… so what had taken her aback?
What was she planning?

"Y-y-you call him… by his first name… already?" Astonishment waved so crystal clear in her voice and Ryoma did only then realized the fact that Monkey King really had called him by his first name. "Ryoma!"

Her voice grew in volume and rose a whole octave. It was filled with panic. Ryoma sat up, his body moving on his own. He pulled his legs out of the bed but before he could leave the source of warmth and comfortableness, hands were grabbing and pushing him back down, holding him at place. Tezuka and Sanada shook their heads in denial. Fuji and Yukimura watching him with different expressions. Ryoma gazed at all of them in turns, but came to a halt when Tezuka spoke with a deep and soothing voice in his right ear. "Letting her see you now will only worsen your situation. She needs to learn slowly but steadily that you have your own life, independent from her."

"RYOMA!"

Ryoma's heart felt crushed and too tight in his chest. They were right, he knew and understood it. He had chosen this path but it wasn't dampening his long trained impulses to rush to her at every whim. She had called him with this kind of demand only a handful of times and never had those times resulted in anything good. The worst case was her hurting herself and he never wanted to see this certain memory ever again. Finding Tsuhiro dead was enough of a nightmare for him.

"RYOMA!"

His muscles quivered, the need to go to her to prevent an upcoming disaster was at the upfront of his mind and forced him to move unconsciously, only to be stopped once more by his friends. This time it was also Fuji helping him, blocking the way by standing in front of him and hindering him from stepping out of the bed.

"I told you to keep your voice down and leave or I will call the security to take you out of my camp immediately!"

"Has Keigo just spoken about himself in first person?" Fuji asked, though his mood was unpredictable as his gaze was fixated at the door.

"He is angry." Yukimura said and sat up on the bed. His focus resting on the door as well. "Never a good thing to do." The bluenette mumbled and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Yukimura had to be still too sleepy to notice that he was actually talking to Tezuka, Sanada and Fuji whom he had glared daggers at yesterday.

"Ryoma." Fuji knelt down, being on eye level with him. "Do you really want to see her? Not because of guilt or to help her but because you really want to from your own free will."

Ryoma certainly hadn't expected such a question.

Not out of guilt or other feeling of responsibility... Did he want to see her?

Yes, but only because he knew what would happen if he didn't. He felt no real desire to be close to her. The once nice and gentle girl of his childhood had long ago faded away and left was a desperate and delusional woman whose family gave her whatever she wanted out of fear to hurt her more.

No, he didn't want to see her, even if it caused him guilty feelings.
But if he told them that, what would they do to stop her from seeing him?
Nothing would stop her from forcing her will at other people.

"Do not think so much about it, just answer with yes or no." Fuji touched his cheek gently with soft hands, startling him a bit and pulling his attention away from the door. "Yes or no. Which one is it?"

"If you see her now, she will pull and keep you back into your past, taking you as a substitute for her brother and not the person who you are." Sanada's grip turned gentler and so did Tezuka's. Ryoma knew that, but still…

He shook his head with a heavy heart.
No, he didn't want to see her.

"Tell us."

"RYOMA!" Tsukiko yelled. "Let me through!"

"I-I dontwannaseeher." He stammered hoarsely and received a sad smile from Fuji and the others.

"Alright. Is it okay for you if I give a little show to scare her off for now?" The brunette asked, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Ryoma looked into those stunningly blue eyes, nearly getting lost in them as he nodded absentmindedly. "Okay."

Fuji smiled further and turned to Tezuka, tilting his head to the left, grinning. "May I?" Tezuka lifted a brow in question but nodded in agreement to whatever the brunette asked for. Ryoma felt the flush heating his face once more. Fuji let go of him, leaned over Ryoma and closer to Tezuka while putting his hands at the brunette's cheeks and tilting his head, bringing their lips gently together. Their lips moved fluidly against each other. The kisses were light, confusedly innocent for a moment before they turned more and more to something far deeper.

Ryoma felt light-headed just from watching. The sight of the tips of tongues moving, meeting and the light sound of lips meeting gave him strange sensations. He couldn't block out the sound nor could he adjust his stare, even when the shivers floated over his skin, leaving goose bumps all over. The heat spread through his whole body, leaving tingles and shudders of confusing and unknown sensations. Then, without warning, Fuji and Tezuka pushed him down onto the bed into a lying position. Fuji sat down on the bed's edge, his hip at the height of Ryoma's head as Tezuka's body was still behind him.

It still didn't block Ryoma's view from the kiss and he was more or less forced to continue watching until Tsukiko yelled something else and pulled his attention away from the kiss.

"Hey!" Monkey King yelled. Hurried footsteps, which sounded like hammering on stony ground, announced the incoming intruder. The blanket were pulled up over his head, covering him and blocking his view.

Fear crept up his spine and mind.

It was the fear of getting seen, getting caught by spilling the secret and receiving the consequences for it. The heat was replaced by a light sheen of cold sweat. The rhythm of his heartbeat increased to those of the steps of a racing horse.

Two pairs of footsteps entered the room, one coming abruptly to a halt, the other pair stumbling later on into the room.

Tsukiko gasped and for a mere minute everything was silent. Almost silent. Neither Fuji nor Tezuka seemed to mind the interruption as both continued to kiss each other if the smacking sound was any indication.

"May we help you?" Sanada asked and Ryoma believed to hear a hint of coldness in his voice. The sound gave him a shiver. Since when was Sanada able to speak in such a cold tone?

"W... I... I...He... but..." His cousin stuttered.

"I'm kissing my boyfriend as you can see." Ryoma could imaged the dirty but somehow still innocent smirk on Fuji's lips. Though, his voice overflowed with directness and displeasure. Tsukiko obviously searching for words but only stammered sounds left her lips. "And I would like to continue doing so without a nosy and spoiled brat watching and judging over me without knowing anything else than the word which have been hammered into her brain and she accepting it without really thinking about the meaning and background behind them. Therefore..."

"T-That's rude! I just want-"

"You want. You want. You want. Do you think about other people sometimes too or is everything always about you?" Fuji cut her off harshly, leaving nothing but the truth in the air. Ryoma jolted a bit, regretting the sudden move out of instinct immediately and hoping desperately that his cousin hadn't noticed anything. Hearing the truth so directly and uncovered without any beautification and knowing that Tsukiko wouldn't react well to it, what was he supposed to do?

Shouldn't he help her out?
But then she would behave like always, getting her wish and probably turning him insane with continue of time. Tezuka's hand came to rest on the bedsheet before his waist, keeping him down and still. It must look as if he was leaning forward and towards Fuji.

Was it smart of Fuji to do that, to provoke her so much?
The brunette had asked to make a scene, something to scare her of and not make a scene to traumatize her. Tsukiko wouldn't react well to this behavior. She would not believe them, just crying due to someone stopping and scolding her. Just like the old times...

Now that he thought about it, Ryoma noticed a certain pattern. She had cried and he had helped her instantly and without thinking about anything else than calming her down and stop further confrontations. A feeling of being... controlled and used, somehow...

Why hadn't he seen it sooner?
How had he missed such a pattern of being controlled?

His eyes began to burn, tears of long suppressed feeling daring to break out of him.

Had she done it with full consciousness?
Used him for her own satisfaction of keeping the reality away and continue the dream she held so dear?

"He wants to see me too!" She stepped forward only to be pulled back by someone and stumbling backward due to the force. "Let me go! You're more than rude!"

"Don't you think you're the one being rude with your demands when we have already told you that Ryoma doesn't want to see you?" Tezuka's hand pushed against him and pulled their bodies, consciously or not, closer against each other.

"They are right. I don't know you well but the behavior you show here right now is everything else than that of an adult or a stranger who entered a house uninvited." Yukimura said. The sound of voice now closer than before. Was the bluenette still sitting on the bed?

"Ore-sama suggests you leave now and without another word."

"No. I need to see him."

"No, you want to see Ryoma but you don't need to because there is no need to." Sanada moved in her direction, starting to force her out by blocking her way further into the room.

"So, can I continue to kiss my boyfriend?" Fuji asked coldly, not waiting for any response.

"Excuse me..." Someone else knocked at the front door shyly. The girl, the one from his class and living in the house near his own - What was her name again? - entered quietly the room. "Excuse me, my grandmother... I-I mean Ryuzaki-sensei is asking for Echizen-san."

What?
Oh, shit!

How the hell should he ditch his coach's order? He couldn't stay under the blanket the rest of the day an-

"Please tell her that Ryoma is still sick and some of us aren't feeling so well too, so we would like to rest for the day." Yukimura spoke charmingly.

"O-oh, yes, of course. But I was here for Echizen Tsukiko."

A sigh of relief left Ryoma by hearing those words. One of the burdens was lifted from his shoulders. It wasn't him the coach wanted to see! He could hide a bit longer...

"Saa, then you shouldn't let the coach wait for you." Back were the mask of friendliness and the smile of perfect on Fuji's face. Returned as if nothing had happened to change his mood for the day. The brunette was unbelievable.