Author's Note: Okay, new fandom and new WIP, I'm ready! I've been bitten by the Janet Evanovich bug and I can't shake it loose. I've been trolling the archive for Babe stories (yet another OTP to put under my belt) and now, I want to play too. Now, I've only read Sizzling Sixteen but I've been researching (and trolling) long enough to cover the important stuff. This is an AU and it has a couple of JE fanfic staples that I've put my own CMW2 twist on. All right, let's have some fun. Here's the prologue and if you guys like, then an update will soon be at hand.

WARNING: I think Joseph Morelli is a chauvinistic, manipulative pig who deserves to be castrated with a rusty spoon, despite the fact that he is a fictional character. I also think that Helen Plum does not deserve the title of mother and I would love to see her be annihilated by a flaming meteor, despite the fact that she is a fictional character. These two characters will not be portrayed favorably in this story or any other one that comes to mind.

Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"

"I'm sick of this, Cupcake! You just don't get it, do you? You live in the Burg! You are a Burg woman with Burg woman responsibilities! We're supposed to be married and on our fourth child by now but no! No, you have to run around with Manoso and his thugs, blowing up cars and dressing up like a two-bit whore and embarrassing me! Do you have any idea how much of an embarrassment it is to have Bombshell Betting Pools and have my fellow officers look at me like I'm less of a man every time you screw up? Well, that's it! Either you grow up and accept your role or we're done! Do you hear me? Done! See how easy it is to find someone else now that you've been passed around like a joint at a party…"

"Stephanie Michelle Plum, how could you do this to me? Joseph just announced that he was leaving you! Why me? Jessie Kanowski's daughter doesn't run off men or blow up cars or hang around with drug dealers…this is the last straw, young lady! I expect to see you at dinner tonight and we will discuss just what to say to get Joseph back…that is, if he wants you back after all you've put him through! Ugh, I don't even know why I bother with you! Always running around with your head in the clouds, spitting on the reputation that I've spent years building up! Ungrateful, inconsiderate child…"

It had been six months since those messages had been left on her machine and when she felt like giving up, she remembered them. They had been intended to break her down, to make her yield and do what they wanted, to be little miss Suzy Homemaker and to make her give up all of her dreams of flying.

Instead, Stephanie Plum had thrown herself headfirst into reality. No more Denial Land and no more excuses. Her life was trash but she was no longer content to grin and bear it. She now realized that she deserved more and she demanded more. To get more, she had made four major changes in her life.

First, she had accepted a full time position at RangeMan. Working for Vinnie had been fun (well, 15% of the time) but there had been no structure, no stability there. Well, unless one counted Lula unnecessarily shooting people, Connie filing papers and her nails, and Vinnie doing Japanese porn worthy things with Joyce Barnhart and those poor farm animals. RangeMan provided health insurance (including dental), a 401k, paid vacation time (which she really needed to start using), a place to live, and most importantly, people who would do anything and everything to make sure that was safe, which led to the second major change in her life.

Stephanie Plum, hopeless sweets addict and allergic to even the thought of exercise, had been in training. Her day started at 5am sharp and ended at 9pm. She ran 5 miles with Ranger, she swam in the gym, she was at the shooting range with Bobby, she did weight training with Hal, Boot Camp work with Tank, and (although she was not supposed to tell anyone under threat of death), yoga with Lester. Hand to hand training was with all of them. Her diet that used to consist of copious amounts of Tastykakes and Pino's was now one that was heavy on fruits and vegetables and lean meats. Not that she had lost her taste for the old stuff but it was more special occasion than the standard. It had been paying off. No longer did she get winded after 10 minutes of a chase and no longer did she refuse to carry a weapon with her at all times. Don't get her wrong, she still hated guns with a passion but she would damn sure use one if the need arose. At times, outgunning a skip was the difference between life and death.

As was outsmarting one. Change #3: She was taking classes on computers and military strategy from Hector. Not only was she doing that, she was taking classes at the community college on Criminal Justice (which was appropriate considering her job). A good soldier (well, bounty hunter) was well rounded and had more than one trick to pull out of their hats. Plus, if they got hurt, then they would have something to fall back on. They had to be able to stand on their own, which was the core part of her final change.

No more Burg. Unless she was there on business, she stayed out. When her friends or her family (Grandma Mazur and Frank Plum were 100% behind her) visited, the only rule was no Burg talk. After the Voicemails, she had quietly but firmly cut off all communication between herself and the senders. Morelli hung around the house all the time, in cahoots with her mother to get her back (not that he really had her once the clothes came back on) and every time one of them tried to corner her, she'd ignore them or fabricate an emergency to get away from them. Ranger and the Merry Men understood and encouraged this bit of immaturity for now but she knew that she'd have to handle her mother and Joseph Morelli once and for all one day.

Little did she know when she rose before her alarm clock that sunny Monday, that the day had arrived.