A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did.
I kind of wrote myself into a hole last chapter and I've been trying to write my way out for the last month. This is like the tenth incarnation of this chapter and I'm still not happy at all with it; it's a wee bit short, but I think it'll do for now.
As always review, review, review! They always inspire me to write that much quicker! This reminds me: thank you to everyone who wrote in making sure I'd continue the story. So, sorry for the wait, but I promise I will not give up on this story, it WILL get finished :)
…
Completely blind-sided, Sadie put up no fight as I descended on her.
"Jesus Christ, Tara!" Jax yelled pulling me off the poor girl who was now sporting a quickly swelling eye and split lip. A growl literally ripped from the back of my throat as I turned on Jax, whose arms were wrapped around my waist. I spun and shoved him back with two properly formed fists.
"You, you…" My mind wasn't working, blinded by rage.
"Fucker?" I heard Tig offer behind us. My brain started to register that there were was a leather-clad audience around us but quite honestly, I didn't care.
"You are such a jackass!" I shouted shoving him some more.
"Tara, calm down." He growled using his authoritative voice, the one he used on others weaker than him, while grabbing my forearms. God help him if he thought that was going to make me "calm down". Unconsciously my hand pulled out of his grasp and drew itself across Jax's stunned face.
"One fight and you throw yourself at the nearest whore?" I shrieked.
"You're the one who wanted out!" He bellowed in my face. As he yelled I could see him holding himself back, fighting the instinct to physically defend himself, even after I hit him. A flicker of thanks passed through the back of my brain.
"When did I ever say that, Jax? When did I ever say I didn't want to be with you?" I hollered at the top of my lungs. The joking, teasing and light expressions of the men surrounding us had turned serious. Gravely, they watched our unraveling with the passerby's who were attracted to our demise like moths to a flame.
"You as good as said so when you went behind my back and made plans that didn't fucking involve me!" Jax spat his arms spread wide as he took an aggravated step towards me.
"This is insane." I muttered turning around to leave. He was being juvenile and ridiculous; how could he ever think that I didn't want him in my life? A sturdy hand clasped around my wrist and tugged me back.
I my head snapped back to Jax's face which was flickering between shock and anger.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Unser quickly hobbled over, "What the hell's going on over here?" I could see Clay and the others slowly crouching forward. Jax tore his eyes away from mine.
"Nothing."
"Lover's spat." Clay spoke up.
"Yeah, well this lover's spat is ending up with you two spending the night in Charming PD." That caught my attention.
"Wait, what are you talking about? Why?" Anger and tension were rippling through Jax's jaw.
"You kidding me? Disturbing the peace, public disturbance, assault; take your pick!"
"Assault! Why? She's fine!" Tig reach down and pulled a forgotten Sadie to her feet, "You're fine, right kiddo?" He asked dusting her off. She looked at him wide-eyed and nodded in compliance.
Unser's voice lowered with his head as he leaned in towards Clay, "That's fine and all but this little scene of yours attracted quite an audience. I can't just let y'all stride away."
After a bit of dog and pony showing by the Charming PD, Jax and I were unloaded and led through the station to the back where the cells were. With a sigh Unser opened a cell door and stepped aside as I passed by him and sat contemptuously on the small cot. When Jax didn't move he nodded impatiently towards the cell.
"You're kidding me, right?" Jax questioned. When he received no reply Jax shuffled into the cell glaring as he leaned quietly against the cold cinderblock wall. Unser looked disappointed and tired, per usual, as he closed the door, locking us in the same cell.
"Look, I got no idea what's going on between you two kids. All I know is for the past couple a months, the two of yous have been happier than I can remember since your parents died." He said somberly pulling his pants up a bit by his belt, "So just…I don't know…take some time and cool down. Then work out whatever's been eating at you. Alright?" He gruffed uncomfortably.
After he left us to our own devices Jax and I stayed in a prickly silence for what seemed like hours. With the tension mounting, each tick of the clock felt like water torture. I tried not to look at him, to ignore him, to forget his very existence. I was making some progress when I heard him scoff. I looked up to find him staring at me with a sardonic smile twitching across his face.
"What?" I asked him, biting back the venom I wanted to yell at him with.
"Nothing." He answered with a wry shake of his head.
"So, tell me, how many were there?"
"How many what?" He challenged, kicking off the wall and turning to face me. His arms crossed in from of him defensively. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He wanted to make me say it, face him head on; he was testing very dangerous waters.
"How many other girls?" I spoke evenly my eyes trained on his, pronouncing each syllable with unmistakable clarity.
"Are you serious?" The look of contempt on my face must have told him I was. "None, Tara! Jesus Christ, do you seriously have that little trust in me? In anyone?" He shouted.
"Well you're not doing much in the way of stopping that, are you? Is it really so outlandish that I would be concerned when you have some girl draped over you with half your ear in her mouth?" Jax opened his mouth to interrupt, but standing up I continued, cutting him off harshly, "And speaking of little trust, I seem to remember this whole argument jumping off when you threw a hissy fit like a four-year-old and stomped off without so much as a backwards glance all because I sent in a college application! I mean Jesus Christ, Jax! Who does that?"
"Someone who loves you and doesn't want to be apart from you! That's who!" Jax bellowed, squaring his chest to me, "I want to be with you, Tara!" The sheer emotion on his face stopped me short, never mind his words. After being on this sickening see-saw month after month- debating in my head: should I stay or should I leave- one thing was clear: Jax loved me and I loved him. It was a truth that seemed to keep slamming into me at 70 mph, pulling me back in when my reason-filled head was screaming "Run for the hills, this won't last and you won't survive it!" But this bullshit as we so eloquently put kept stepping in our way. Maybe we were stepping in our way; maybe I was stepping in our way.
Drawing in an unsteady breath I pulled my eyes up to his, "So what now?" Jax moved woodenly to sit on the edge of the cot, stretching his long legs.
"How long do you have till you have to give them an answer?"
"Mid May." I spoke quietly. Jax thought for a long while, rubbing the back of his head before he straightened back up. His eyes looked more peaceful as he reached out for my hand, tugging me to sit down beside him.
"Listen, let's just…live for the next two months, fix this weirdness between us, forget about the past and what's sure to be the fucked up future. I think it's obvious we suck at planning, babe." I gave into a little chuckle as his shoulder rubbed against mine. "Let's just go day by day and when we get to the end of two months, we'll see what happens." He shrugged.
"I can live with that…no more floozies though." I gave a chuckle as he crossed his heart his signature lazy smile.
"How's your hand?" He asked as he picked it up, inspecting the cuts and bruises, and laid gentle kisses on each knuckle.
"Little better now." I sighed contently as he rubbed the sore joints tenderly. "This is doing wonders for your tough guy image, you know: worrying over me leaving, nursing me back to health … what will the kids on the playground say?"
"I'm not worried about it, my girl's got a possessive streak and a vicious right hook." He laughed against my hand before he leaned in for a kiss. And as he inched closer and closer, his eyes searching mine, I saw in them something I had been missing for months, a gleam. I was home.
…
I shut the door as softly as I could behind me, tip-toeing through the dark living room into the kitchen as quietly as possible.
"Where you been?" A gravelly voice called from couch.
"Hey, Dad, you scared me! I was just out late with Jax." I said softly trying to assess his sobriety level. "What are you still doing up?"
"I gotta call earlier, from Unser." I closed my eyes bracing myself for whatever was going to come, "Arrested two times in less than six months, I'm sure both times with him." He emphasized with a jerky head nod to the door.
"Sorry, Dad, but after 17 years you don't get to play the concerned father card." I spoke tiredly and with the surprising absence of malice. "Why don't we just head to bed?"
"What would your mother say, Tara?"
"I don't know, Dad, she's not here." I said, exasperated. It was late and this was not the optimal ending to a rough day. "What are you trying to get at?" He groaned standing up.
"I'm not a great father, I'm barely even adequate; but, I do know when something isn't right with my kid. And you? Getting arrested? Well, something ain't right in that picture, Tara." He answered, laying a hand on my shoulder as he walked by, "I'm heading to bed."
With that he left me standing in the middle of a dark living room, confused and stunned, pondering how far I had truly come within the day, and how far I had come from myself.