1-27-11
1:57am
Summary–"But you can't unlearn something, even if you want to. You know what you know." Like about that hot guy in your dorm having a crush on you. Buttercup/Butch
Disclaimer–I do not own The Powerpuff Girls, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.
xoxo
Title–The Knowing
By–Moon Prynces
xoxo
She wasn't...hiding from him. She was just...you know, studying and stuff. It was a library for pete's sake! What else would she be doing...hunched over behind a tall book...in a far corner with really bad glare from the sun...
Well, the answer's obvious isn't it?
Buttercup frowned and closed her eyes, trying to rest her head on the table while still awkwardly holding up the book. She was just about to sigh in relief when someone took a seat across from her.
"Hey," he said with a grin, arms folded on the table as well.
Her closed eyes turned into a hopeless expression and she wanted to cry...in exhaustion! Studying is exhausting.
"Hi, Butch," she responded while casually lifting her head up and tilting the book at a normal angle, pretending to read.
"Look, Ace wants to have a pizza party and I'm just here to invite you," Butch held up his hands innocently, still grinning at her. "I already tried to talk him out of it but...well, I can't tell him what to do with his own money."
While such a prospect would normally excite the girl, she just nodded solemnly, now trying to actually process the words on the page as a distraction.
He rapped a hand on the table. "Alright, I'll see you there." And then he got up and left.
When she saw him pass through the exit, Buttercup exhaled so heavily it was as if she had been holding her breath the whole time.
Then she ditched the effort of reading and put her head in her palm, reminiscing on the good ol' days when she could easily walk over to Butch and Ace's dorm room and get free food without a care in the world.
Now though, it was tinged with...some kind of obligation that she didn't want to know about.
What if he counted such things as a date? What if he expected them to get as far as making out? What if he actually confessed to her face!
Okay, let's back up here.
It had been a normal afternoon on campus. Running from class to class, eating french fries and drinking water (the only non-toxic choices offered between eleven AM and six PM). There was also the occasional, lucky hour of nap time she could squeeze in as well as some time to chat with her sisters online (both attending different universities as well).
And then she happened to look up, over her laptop while sitting at a table in the cafeteria, to see him walking in.
She rolled her eyes when she saw Butch, a dorm-mate who liked to try and hit on her every chance he got. The only positive was that he did so in a non-sleazy way and didn't use as many sexual innuendos as his peers. In fact, if she were dating at this point in time, he might not have been a bad candidate.
As it was though, she didn't give a flip about guys and sex and spending all her nights partying in the completely irresponsible way most other people her age wanted to.
So she usually rolled her eyes and walked away or raised an eyebrow with a level gaze. Never faltered his grin though.
Anyway, so he walked in and sat a few tables away with two other guys she didn't really know.
Whatever. She was enjoying her down time, and as long as they didn't notice her she was totally okay with the arrangement. (Butch seemed to have the idea in his head that they were friends.)
"Buttercup is a tough nut to crack."
And that was the part where she was forced to look up at hearing her name, forgetting to respond to a message from Bubbles asking about the weekend.
Apparently Idiot One had spoken. Butch was already shaking his head, slouching in his chair without a care in the world (and definitely ignorant to the very subject of their conversation sitting in the corner).
"I'm not trying to crack her," he said, mocking the guy's words and chuckling.
"Let's be honest here. You're just trying to get in her pants, right? Why else would you flirt with her every time you see her?" Idiot Two questioned.
Butch grinned to himself, though he responded sincerely with, "Nope."
Idiot Two just narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Then why bother?"
She was just about to roll her eyes at the way Butch was still wearing his usual grin – not malicious or cocky, pretty innocuous in fact. He was always so...cheerful and positive.
"I just like her," he shrugged helplessly, unable to suppress his carelessness at the supposedly simple admission.
It wasn't his words exactly, that had caused her eyes to widen in complete shock. It was more...the way he said it. The expression on his face. The completely truthful way he spoke, as if it were just a fact he was owning up to.
He certainly wasn't beating around the bush or trying to play the denial card, which would only cause the two idiots to tease and joke about said denial.
Buttercup then found her heart racing, and wondered if anyone else could hear it. She could feel herself being encompassed by the embarrassed feeling she'd only been inflicted with a few times in her life.
That was two weeks ago.
Someone bumped into her shoulder as she stood lost in thought, rereading some of her notes for the exam she had in twenty minutes.
The reason being, if she headed to class right away the first thing that would greet her would be the test papers. The professor was in that particular room for three classes straight and handed over the exam as soon as you walked into the room, not caring if you were early and wanted to go over some of the material before the "official" start time.
"Ouch," the person said.
When she looked up, Butch was standing near the bumped shoulder and peering at her notes with her. Unfortunately this put his face an alarmingly small distance from her own.
What she did find out, however, was that a) he had been the one to accidentally bump into her and b) his "ouch" was not due to physical pain or surprise at the bumping of shoulders, but from his glimpse at the exceptionally difficult material she was looking over.
Buttercup could feel her heart start beating faster. But also...in the back of her mind she was wondering how he managed to pop out of the woodwork whenever she had a test to get to or just didn't feel like talking to anyone. Seriously, it would almost seem stalkerish...if she didn't have a problem to fret over already.
"I see you're taking Reid's class," he commented while taking the papers out of her hands to look them over. "You take pretty good notes."
She wanted to roll her eyes, because once again he was acting like they were friends. At best, she could stand to have a five minute conversation with him...and come by his dorm room to steal food– But that was it!
Buttercup nodded mutely, aware of the musky scent and warmth coming off him.
But those were things most guys had in common. Tch, did they all use the same body spray in the dorm's showers or something?
...Now that brought on some colorful imagery.
"It's too bad these are useless."
She blinked. "What?"
"He's gonna go straight for the examples from the book. He told you what chapters to study, right? But he didn't mention that the notes are just to make sure you understand it all. The application is what matters," he told her, handing her the papers and sticking his hands in his pockets.
She stared up at him.
Holy crap, was that a halo she just saw?
Then she shook her head, turning away to stick the papers in her bag (and to avoid looking at his face).
Maybe he was only helpful because he "liked her" or whatever, right? Right?
"Yeah, okay. I gotta go." And instead of her usual parting (insulting) line...she just left.
Butch stared with a curious eyebrow raised.
That was how things had been for the past two weeks since she'd overheard his confession. Buttercup devolved to being slightly stiff and awkward (though not enough to be noticeable...well, she hoped anyway) and Butch was still trying to charm her with his– his–
Okay, he didn't really do a damn thing! Not on purpose anyway. He was just nice and helpful and– and– he smiled a lot!
Though that was something he always did...
On one particular night she was sitting on her bed, wondering if she should get something to eat. It was almost midnight but a few places not too far from campus were open, and she was starving.
Well...she put on some actual shoes, grabbed a sweater and stuffed some money in her bra. (Because what was the point in changing out of her sleepwear anyway? Just 'cuz it didn't have pockets...)
And so she started the ten minute walk (five if you ran like someone was chasing you, which wasn't completely unlikely for a teenage girl on a college campus in the middle of the night...).
It was as she walked through the doorway of a nicely lit pseudo-bar (that had really good pizza) she stopped dead in her tracks with a seriously disturbed expression.
He caught sight of her and lifted an arm to wave in greeting.
A very large part of her (that included her stomach) wanted her to just turn around and leave – quickly and without being seen, which was already too late and why she decided she really needed that pizza.
He just smiled at her but didn't move from the table he sat at with a few friends, all talking and laughing at this insane hour of night. On a Tuesday too!
She moved closer to the counter, as far away from Butch without seeming obvious, and hoped he would just leave her the hell alone.
See, the thing was...Buttercup had never actually been in this situation before. It was one thing that she had never liked any guys in her lifetime just yet, but it was completely different that she had never heard of any guy (ever) liking her.
It had just never happened – not to her knowledge. She had never had a guy confess having feelings for her in any shape or form. Not even for some joke or prank.
Bubbles was the one who usually had guys falling over themselves for her attention and Blossom also had a set of admirers. But Buttercup...nothing.
Still, she hadn't really cared or thought anything of it. Until now, when the situation presented itself...
This was bad. Really bad. It could only end badly.
These were her thoughts whenever she was around him these days.
Right, so she'd never known of a guy actually liking her but she'd had guys hit on her in the usually perverse way before. Which was why she had assumed he was just another one of those guys and hadn't given him any consideration.
She waited at the counter, keeping her gaze on the food displayed instead of looking around. When the box was slid over the counter toward her and a price was offered, someone said, "I got it."
And she almost died.
Buttercup turned to him, completely (and hysterically) pissed.
"Stop that!" she tried to smack the money out of his hand before it was dropped into the open palm. "I am so sick of you– you– you stalker!"
The entire establishment paused and watched a crazy college girl in her pajamas attempt to prevent a hot guy from paying for her food. What was the world coming to?
Her face flushed at the sudden attention but she kept her frown in place.
Butch was giving her a strange look.
This entire thing could have easily been avoided.
How?
If she just hadn't heard his admission that day. If she had never heard him admit the awful truth. If she could go back to thinking he was just another pompous asshole who wanted to sleep with her instead of– of– what he really was!
...Which was a nice, charming guy who actually liked her.
She closed her eyes a moment, having some quick internal conflict, before stomping through the door without her food. (It was better than reaching into her bra at that point to get her money.)
Buttercup was really wishing she could turn back time or slam her head against a wall for amnesia or just transfer to a completely different school.
"Hey! Wait!"
She stopped walking and took a deep breath before turning around and folding her arms.
"Okay, how does this work?" she asked him.
Butch raised a brow. "I give you the food...?" he said slowly and in confusion.
"No, I mean..." And her face turned desperate as she tried to figure out what the hell she was talking about. "...now that I know you like me...what happens next?"
Was there a word to describe the face he made? Oh, sure.
Dumbstruck.
"You just figured that out?" he questioned her incredulously.
"No," Buttercup replied defensively. "I overheard you say it to some guys."
"You didn't even know til then?" His disbelief was worse now.
She opened her mouth, about to say something, and then closed it again, settling her gaze on the nearby scenery (trampled grass and some petal-less flowers).
After a moment of silence Butch asked suspiciously, "Wait...are you saying you like me too?"
The dark-haired girl looked up slowly. But instead of having some predictably comic, surprised and easy-to-read expression, she looked at him coolly. Then she walked closer and said, "Once you know something, you know it."
And she was undoubtedly referring to her (newfound) knowledge of his feelings.
Butch had to wonder exactly how much she suffered just knowing this. Because now that he thought about it, she had been acting strange lately.
"So," she started again, taking hold of the pizza box, "I'm gonna leave you in the dark for a little while longer."
And then she turned and left him standing there, staring blankly.
After a minute he stuck a hand into the front of his hair and smiled with a disbelieving laugh.
It figured.
For her the torture was knowing, but for him it was not knowing.
He turned and walked back inside (while secretly trying to calculate how long she'd known so he could estimate how long he would not know).
xo end xo
1-28-11
2:36am
This story is brought to you by the inspiration I got from this line, which is from Sarah Dessen's book, "Along for the Ride". It goes:
"But you can't unlearn something, even if you want to. You know what you know." (page 75)
It wasn't actually about anything romantic but I found the idea interesting and for some reason decided to try a Buttercup/Butch pairing with it. This is actually the second attempt of writing this story. The first I gave up on because it wasn't coming out the way I wanted and wasn't even interesting to me.
A part of me likes the way this was written (the panicky, rambling sort of nonsense way of talking) but another part just feels like I didn't get involved enough with the characters. It also seems to be more Buttercup-centered than romance, which I don't mind actually.
Thanks for reading and tell me what you think. I still have a bunch of lines from Sarah Dessen's books, as well as other ideas, that inspire me and make me want to write.
1-28-11
1:41pm