Dear Eric,

I have so much to tell you. But let me begin with the night I found out you were gone. I came home from work to find Amelia and Pam in my living room. I thought Pam was paying us a friendly visit, or at least checking in on me for you. Imagine my surprise when I insisted I was going to bed and she told me you were dead! The news shattered my heart into a million pieces. I'm still picking them up and I don't know when I'll stop.

The next few days I was on edge, waiting to hear any news at all from Pam. I called her every night and she was patient with me. I should have been more patient with her to be honest. She was, after all, your child, had known you better and been with you longer than I could ever have even hoped. Almost a week went by before she was able to tell me what the secret vampire crews that I wasn't allowed to know about had figured out. They pinpointed your death to Sunday evening, right before sundown. They assumed you just stayed up all day Sunday and waited until just before nightfall to meet the sun. It broke my heart to hear the news but I also felt somewhat comforted by the fact that I knew how you had gone.

Amelia was amazing through the whole thing. She was my strength and logic when I had none, a shoulder to cry on when I needed one. I'm sure I drove her crazy every minute of it, but I'd also finally known in some way what she had gone through when Tray Dawson had passed. I think she actually loved him. She stayed with me longer than she had planned and only left a few days ago.

Not long after Pam told me how you had died, there was a large gathering, not quite a funeral, for you in an old empty airplane hanger just outside of Shreveport. Every vampire I'd ever met was there, including all the out of state ones, and the King was there too. Sam came with Amelia and I, and I spotted Alcide and a few members of the Shreveport wolf pack in the crowd as well. Pam and I were treated as widowers. It was a bizarre feeling really. When it was all over, Amelia and I went to Fangtasia with most of the vampires that had owed alliance to you and we shared stories of you. The bar was closed for the first time ever to my knowledge. I know, you're probably annoyed it was closed at all, lost all that money just so we could talk.

Days later, Pam called me to tell me your will had been read. I am now a majority shareholder in Fangtasia with Pam, as well as a few other businesses and there's a small percentage in the New Orleans Saints football team. On top of all that, you left me your main house in Shreveport (Pam got your guest house just outside of town), your car, and more money than I know what to do with. But of all the things you left me, the most precious are the memories.

I think about you every single day. Sometimes, something as mundane as checking the mail reminds me of you and I have to take a second to calm myself down or gather my thoughts. You've been gone just over a month. My heart feels so heavy and completely empty each day you're gone. I'm doing my best to move on, but there are times I find it hard to breathe because of all the emotion build up inside of me. It's sad to say there are days I almost think of ending my own life, just to get rid of the pain. But I know I could never actually do something like that, and I know you would never forgive me if I did.

There are also days I think of asking Pam to turn me into a vampire. But I know I could never forgive myself for that and I know it will never bring you back. Nothing could ever bring you back, not matter how hard I try. I find myself longing for night, where I can sleep and dream of you. These are the only times I get to see you now and it's heart breaking. But I know you'll always be only a dream away.

I love you so very much, and I miss you. I almost feel myself counting down the days until we can be together again.

With all my heart and all my love, forever yours,

Sookie