Silhouette
Amazing really, how the violent sun can create such a beautiful thing like the shadow: the dark, cold, unfathomable shadow of a beautiful maiden: a silhouette.
Quite odd really how I can talk like this when I only met her again. Name? Tomoyo Daidouji is the only ethereal beauty who could compliment such precious a thing as the silhouette.
Yes, I agree that I may be talking nonsense. You would too if such a thing occurred in your life as saying your marital vows to another woman while the object of your desire watches you with happiness.
How painful it is!
~o~
Kaho . . .
Only her name played in my mind these past few weeks since I have asked her hand in marriage. I did not know she would consent to my supposed affection. I thought her wiser than that.
Oh the folly!
I asked her to marry me for it seemed right in the eyes of people. The great Clow and the mysterious Kaho together; it was our destiny. Sakura told me so.
I told her that my fate was only intertwined with Kaho because of our job to help the card mistress. Unfortunately, the foresaid card mistress did not want to listen.
"Eriol, you really should admit your love to Mizuki-sensei," argued Sakura due to our ongoing debate. "You love her, I can tell."
I tried to talk her out of it. Really, I did. But, no, she would not listen to reason.
"Stop denying it Eriol," Sakura cried in exasperation. She was really vexed and undoubtedly annoyed at me. "I KNOW you looooooooooooove her! Can't you admit it to your dear daughter?" she looked at me with her big green eyes, "pleeeeeeeeaaaaaase!"
When I told her "no," she lost all her patience. "ERIOL," she cried, "I am giving you one final chance or I'll let loose the cards again."
I did not believe her, not until she did it. We had a great time getting them back again.
"There," she said, panting, "look what you made me do. You better confess your feelings to Kaho before I do something even worse."
I did the only thing possible to keep the world from having an apocalypse. I decided to ask Kaho's hand in marriage, and I was revolted by the act.
"Kaho," said I, trying to act like a nervous suitor, "will you marry me?"
She looked at me with a smile so warm and with eyes glowing with unshed tears. I feared for the worst.
"Yes."
I choked. I could not believe my ears. "Come again?"
"Yes, Eriol dear, I will marry you."
My face turned white and faint. She took this as a good sign.
"Eriol," she crooned as I tried to keep myself from running away like a scared puppy dog, "you do not have to worry about anything, I will marry you."
"Wonderful . . ." I said, not feeling the slightest bit well.
It was a traumatizing experience, I swear, to see a woman, ten years my senior, flirting with me like a love struck teenager, but it was not the worst. The worst came when I met Tomoyo Daidouji again, after all these years.
"Eriol Hiiragizawa? Is it really you?" I heard an angelic voice, despite the noise of the rain hitting against the pavement. I turned around and saw a most beautiful maiden who seemed awfully familiar. She glanced at me and decided she was right. "Eriol! I'm glad to see you again." She probably noticed my confusion. "It's me, Tomoyo."
I stood there staring at her for time out of mind when she snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Can you recall me now?"
I did recall her, but did not answer. She probably knew that I remember her anyway. It was her news that came ever so shocking to me.
"I heard that you are getting married to Kaho soon," she said, joining me under the umbrella I was holding. I could do nothing but blush helplessly and nod. "I am too, with Touya."
I pretended to take the news very well, careful not to show any emotion that might dampen her spirits. She looked truly delighted and content with her engagement.
"When will it be?" I asked, surprised at how calm my voice was despite the terrible tremor in my heart. "The wedding, I mean."
She looked up at me with cloudy eyes. I could not tell their emotion, but I suspected it to be swooning. "Sakura planned it right after your own."
I smiled.
Yes, the terrible truth was that an engaged man fell in love with a woman betrothed to another man. I could not express hate for the one who captured her heart so completely, just loathing at myself for letting her go.
We reached her place soon and the sight of the tall mansion reminded me that Tomoyo was lost to me forever. I knew she did not like me in the way that I wanted her to, but I did. I adored her and immediately regretted my promise of marriage to Kaho.
"Here we are," her voice was devoid of any emotion. She just kept looking at the imposing Iron Gate. "I guess this is farewell. You would be busy in preparing you wedding, so will I. I guess that we'll only meet again during your wedding day where I am to be a bridesmaid."
I nodded silently.
I don't know what had possessed me at that time. Maybe it was her jewels for eyes, maybe it was her raven locks of hair, maybe it was her pale silver skin, or maybe it was just insanity that drove me to do something unfitting of an engaged man.
"Eriol, what are you doing?" Tomoyo cried as I wrapped her in my arms, holding her waist to keep her steady. "Eriol, let me go."
I was too caught up in the moment back then. She unknowingly tempted me so much. I just had to have her in a small way before she goes into the arms of another man.
I just ended a passionate kiss with the one person I truly loved, and was feeling particularly light headed at the moment.
"Eriol . . ." Tomoyo was too stunned to speak. When she finally found her voice, she bowed her head to hide her reaction. "What about Kaho?"
"I don't care about Kaho."
"Touya . . .?" she asked. Her voice radiated sadness, and I knew that I had not done the right thing. I removed her from my arms and turned my back on her.
"Sorry . . ." I said and walked away.
Days and nights passed without seeing the object of my affection. This object, however, was not the pesky woman hovering around me, asking me which gown was prettier: the white one or the pearl one. I honestly did not see any difference. Just so you know, the white one was chosen.
The horrid day drew ever closer, and I was frantic. Kaho thought that I was nervous for the wedding, and so I was, but not for the reasons she believed.
At last the time for the happiest day of my life has come, and I stood in front of the altar, as the Catholic religion dictates, to say my vows of faithfulness. I did my part as the nervous groom while trying to avoid any eye contact with the one I would rather say my vows to.
The ceremony ended with a triumphant Kaho staring at me with loving eyes; I knew what would happen next.
"You may now kiss the bride," the priest said dully while lustily eyeing one of the female guests. Maybe I could get out of this mess due to an incompetent priest.
"Eriol." Kaho's sick sweet voice brought back my attention to her. "You may kiss me now."
I nodded and drew her near me to seal a vow I never wanted. The kiss lasted long enough to satisfy Kaho, but it did not have the same effect on me as the one I shared with Tomoyo. It was merely an exchange of saliva and nothing more.
As the limousine rode off with Kaho and I inside it for our honeymoon, I looked back and saw Tomoyo crying in the arms of her lover, Touya. It was probably just the usual weeping of women over a wedding, but it still hurt to see tears pouring down of so beautiful a face.
That moment, with her tear stained face, was the last time I saw the only one who caught my heart.
~o~
That was how my love slipped away from my fingers. It was all due to my folly; Sakura's peskiness to get everyone else married since she got together with Syaoran; Kaho's idiocy; and Tomoyo's beauty.
My marriage is not exactly an unhappy one. There were times when I am quite happy with my wife, Kaho, but most of the time she is a nightmare.
Children? None. Kaho is barren—poor woman—, but I wouldn't want to have children anyway. It would just make a slave of Kaho even more.
All these years I wondered what my life would be if I married my beloved. I am quite certain that it would be hardly less than pleasant. She would make a much better wife than Kaho . . . much better.
After my wedding, the last thing I heard about her was that she gave birth to a son, lost love. I never heard of her again.
The only thing remaining is her cold shadow, her silhouette . . .
A/N: How sad.
I decided to go against the "happy ending" law that seems to be evident in every fanfic. This is just the thing that makes you want to swoon, cry, and kill me at the same time.
Ciao!
Okay . . . I'll receive a lot of flames now.
Is it vulgar? My sister tells me it's vulgar. It's not vulgar is it?
A/N: I'm so sorry for the first upload. I forgot to put it in HTML format. Sorry.