Author's note: Hey, guy's. Sorry it's taken so long! School drama! Bear with me, please! Here's another chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

Most people say that when you are dying, your life flashes before your eyes. And I had believed and was one of those people.

Until now.

I ran down to the scene where Castle's body was lifelessly floating in the water. I knelt down beside the little boy first, and checked for a pulse. It didn't take long to find a strong, pulse. I then ridded myself of my heavy jacked and stilettos and climbing into the water.

I gasped when the ice cold water stung my legs.

I swam out to him and secured him around my shoulders before swimming ashore. I climbed out of the water before pulling him out. I laid him flat on the frozen ground before looking for a pulse.

"Damn it, Rick!" I cursed when I was unable to find one. I ripped open his soaking wet jacket and started CPR. As I stared into his lifeless eyes, memories of him came flooding back.

Memories of us.

Then, my mind started to wander to places I didn't want to go to just yet. I started thinking of all of the stupid arguments we would never have, all of the drinks we would no longer share and all of the cases we would never solve.

Cases we would never solve together.

"One… Two… Three… One… Two… Three…" I counted as his face started to turn blue. His heart had been beating fast, trying to warm up his body. His skin was now blue and puffy.

His major organs had already started to fail.

I had no hope.

I could hear all of the sirens pull up as the paramedics arrived on the scene, and they froze in place at the sight. Even the senior worker, who had seen some horrible things, had a shocked expression on his face when he saw the little boy lying on the frozen, snow covered ground. I was still beside Castle, still frantically administrating CPR, my face coated in sweat, tears and running mascara along with my hair dripping wet from the ice cold water.

I was broken.

The love of my life had been ripped away from me just as he had gotten there. And I was so stupid that it took me this long to realize it. And now, now I was hanging onto his life just as easily as he was letting it go.

I backed up away from his body for the paramedics to take over. I watched as they lifted the boy and Rick onto two different stretchers. I was on all fours on the ground, looking around as the scene flooded with cops and paramedics.

I couldn't think.

I couldn't move.

All I could do was stare.

"Beckett." Someone's voice tuned in.

I looked up through my hair to see Ryan, Esposito, Lanie and Montgomery approaching me at a rapid pace.

"Lanie." I said, not bothering to look up again. She crouched down beside me and put a pulled me into a hug.

"Let's get her a blanket!" Montgomery yelled to one of the paramedics as Lanie mad sure that Rick's body wasn't in my line of sight. In what felt like hours of freezing, the paramedic finally brought the blanket. Lanie wrapped it around my shoulders.

"Lanie." I said softly. "I-I want to go with him."

"What? Sweetheart, I don't think that is the brightest idea." She replied calmly.

"I-I want t-to say goodbye." I told her.

She nodded and helped me up. We walked to the ambulance together and I climbed in. I sat on the bench beside him; he was attached to a machine that was helping him breath. I intertwined my fingers with his.

"Rick." I whispered to him, hoping he could hear me. "Please don't die. I love you."