'Hyacinth'

— murasaki no chou

Summary: Things are not what they seem to be. Annabeth and I are never meant to be. I can't tell her this; it would break her heart. But the truth will always find a way to be revealed, and I'm scared that one day she'll find out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and I never will.

Do you ever get this feeling that people always get the wrong impression when you're expressing yourself? Apparently, that's what happens to me all the time. People never really see my real motives; they just assume that, since I'm a very easy person to read, the reasons of my actions are shown through the way I, well, act when in fact it's not. I'm not that obvious, trust me on this one.

I don't know when I started to think deeply on this; I'm not the type of person to dwell on matters too deeply like an Athena child. I may not be that smart, but at least I do use my head from time to time and am able to sense if something is wrong. Well, maybe on several occasions—but that's not really the point here. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not completely a seaweed brain even though most people think so. I know if something is worth fighting for and not. It's as simple as that.

But, ostensibly, it doesn't seem to appear to be that way when it comes to the matters of love.

You see, I've been having these nagging feelings that the campers in Camp Half-Blood, especially Aphrodite children, think that Annabeth and I are romantically involved. Yes, I do love her, but not in that sense. I don't see Annabeth in that kind of light, but I'm not entirely sure that she doesn't, as well. I have a feeling Annabeth is attracted to me, somehow...

Now, I know what you're thinking: "How can you be so egoistical? How can you think of that way?" I'm not being egoistical or anything like that. I just... noticed, for quite some time now, that she likes me—not in a "just friends" way like I do. I don't want to crush her feelings, that's why I pretended to not know the sudden closeness and why she appears to be mad when I'm with Rachel Elizabeth Dare. I just don't want to end our friendship and ruin everything... If I haven't already.

Annabeth is a good friend; heck, she might even be my first friend that is a girl. I'm never the type to hang around the opposite sex; they make me nervous that my mind always screams for me to run away. They're not that scary—at least not all of them—it's just that I'm frightened of offending them. Men says that women can be your worst nightmare if you do anything to make them hate you. The very thought of making someone hate you sends shivers down my spine. I don't need more enemies; I have enough of them that would last me for a lifetime, thank you very much.

Anyway, as I was saying, Annabeth is a friend—nothing more and nothing less. The same can be said with Rachel and Thalia. All of them are cool in their own ways: Annabeth, for her unique personality and love for architecture; Rachel, for her gifted talents; and Thalia, for her characteristics that sometimes reminds me of... myself. Those three are great to be around with, even Nico and Grover and everybody else. Although sometimes, things get a bit rowdy...

By now, you must be narrowing your eyes on me, thinking: "If you don't like them in that way, especially Annabeth, then why do you get so jealous whenever they mention Luke Castellan? Why do you feel anger boiling up inside you from the very mention of his name?"

My answer? I'm overprotective of my loved ones. I have the urge to hold them and never let go; I don't want them to choose the wrong paths and regret it afterwards. I think that the reason why I get "jealous" whenever they mention Luke's name is because they are still holding onto him—they have a faith in him that he would come back to our side. I'll admit, I was wrong to judge him that way because of his actions. But can you really blame me? I don't think so. Maybe... I just get jealous because he has a lot of people that believes in him... while I think that I don't. I know I'm making the wrong assumptions, but there are certain times when I feel out of place.

Endless questions keeps on popping out of nowhere like: "How do you explain the times when you think that Annabeth is cute? How do you explain the times when you ask her to kiss you?"

I think that she's... cute, but don't you dare tell her that I said that; I have a feeling she would be holding a restraining order if she finds out. Yeah, she's cute when we were twelve-years-old, but she's way too stubborn which kind of repels me from her. But now, I think she's becoming seriously beautiful as we grow older. Her appearance is becoming pretty and her body is... developing, as all of us.

As for the other question: Hey, can't a guy ask to be kissed for once in his life? No, I'm not a player, but when I asked her the first time, I think, I was only joking, but I didn't think that she would actually give me one. I'll admit, I was pretty embarrassed at that time—I had blushed furiously and felt like fainting because it was really unexpected. If only I knew...

But I do know what the general question would be: "Why don't you love her?"

I do love her, but, as I've said before, not in a romantic way. Our relationship will never work out. She and I are never meant to be (I feel like Aphrodite is going to enjoy hearing me say this aloud). I can never have that kind of relationship with her because...

... I'm her father.

That's right, I, Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon, am the father of Annabeth Chase, Daughter of Athena, with none other than the Goddess of Wisdom, herself. Gods, I think I'm screwed.

A/N: The title means "sincerity", if you're wondering, and it's also a type of flower. This is not a Percabeth fan fiction, but you'll notice that it'll only be slightly, if not one-sided. I know I still have to update "Artemisias"; don't worry, I'm working on the second chapter right now. :)

Thank you for reading. Please review. ConCrits are welcome. :)