They had told him had she cut her right wrist any deeper she wouldn't have made it. The thought was haunting. He remembered that night. He was heading over for the simple fact that he missed hanging out with her. For the last 6 years it was a rare occurrence for him to hang out with someone outside of the squint squad and she was his favorite person in general, how could he not miss her? He called her out of courtesy, to give her time in case she wasn't decent, or maybe to warn him she had company. When she picked up and he only heard shallow breathing his mind went back to the idea of her having company. He opened his mouth to try and play his call off but the fact that this far into the call she hadn't said anything was troubling. Panic set in and his body went rigid at the fact that she wasn't responding to his questions. He could still hear her breathing and a tiny moan and with that his lights came on sending the cars in front of him scattering. He was already close but he wasn't getting there nearly fast enough for his liking. When he got to her apartment building he called for an ambulance, thinking it was possibly premature, but this was Bones and Bones… let alone normal people… didn't sit breathing into a phone.

He ran as quickly as he could up to her apartment, foregoing the stairs. He banged on her door franticly, calling to her, hoping she'd answer the door. After about 24 seconds he relented and used his key, given to him precisely for moments like this. His breath left him when he got the door open, Seeing her lying in her living room, her blood trailed from the kitchen and pooled around her. He immediately ran to her lifting her into his arms. Emotions trumping logic in that moment, he knew in his mind he should be applying pressure to her wounds but his heart wouldn't let him leave her side. She was so pale, and so clammy, and so barely there. Tears welled in his eyes. How could this happen? She was always so strong. He lifted his hand to his face to try and stop the damn tears but that failure made itself known when one landed on her cheek. She looked at him then, actually looked at him, spoke his name, and then tried to lift her hand. He grabbed it reassuringly when it flopped lifelessly back down. Then she gave up her heart. To him. And he broke. And the he kissed her over and over telling her he loved her and begging her not to leave him. And then she went limp in his arms and the silent sobs that wracked his body only seconds before tore out of him.

The doctors told him that as her emergency contact, and as she was not of sound mind, he would decide her next step. Either she would go to an institution or she would go home with someone trusted. He chose the latter of course. He'd ask her whose house she'd like to go to when the sedatives wore off and she woke up. She adamantly insisted he take her home. With him. She wouldn't tell him why. As she signed her discharge papers the doctor pulled him aside and told him "Only happy things. No sharp or breakable objects. She mustn't be alone." He knew Bones would hate it but for now he had no choice.

It had taken her a few of weeks to crawl out of the hole she had dug herself and even longer to explain to her friends why she hadn't been at work. Angela had cried. Hard. Hodgins held her. Cam had just given her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, surprising Brennan, and telling her fiercely she was glad she was ok. Sweets had already known. He knew the night it had happened, so he was just somber. Brennan turned to Booth and asked him to take her home.

They all begged her to talk to someone. If not them then someone she didn't know, just talk. They all begged her. Except for Booth. He sat with her, watched t.v. with her, cooked for her, but he never asked her to talk. To him or anyone. She was glad for it. He understood. And he knew her, if she wanted to talk, he'd know it.

Sitting on the couch one night, watching some program neither was truly paying attention to, she sneaked glances at him, and fidgeted until he finally asked her what was wrong.

"Do you think I'd be a bad mother?" She asked. She wasn't looking at him, she wasn't really looking at anything. He certainly wasn't expecting that question. He stared at her a minute trying to figure out the reason behind the question.

"Bones…" he saw the tears in her eyes and he couldn't stand it and whether or not the question made sense to him, it was pertinent to her. "You know I think you be a great mother."

"Still?" She looked at him then. That was it. She wanted to know if he still thought of her the same. Thought she was a good person.

"You're still a great everything." He still thought the sun shined out of her ass. Plain and simple. "Right now. Maybe not." She still appreciated honesty. And the honesty of it made her eyes mist over. She had wanted no regrets and here she was living one, seemingly without and escape. "You know when there's a field fire and then after it's out everything grows back?" He got only a blank stare he decided to continue. "Your fire has gone out, now all you have to do it wait a while until everything you were comes back, even better than before."

"Do you forgive me, Booth?" He wanted to tell her there was nothing to forgive. Instead he just looked her in the eye and said resolutely.

"Yes." The next day she went to Sweets. It took a long time and even more work on her part but she got her clearance back, she got her job back, she got her friends back. She wasn't one hundred percent but she was trying her damndest to get there.

I t had been a long day, longer than he cared for. He always found himself excited at the end of them. This night though, when he came in the excitement flowed slowly out of his body. The t.v. was off, as were all of the lights, there were no sounds other than his footsteps. He had been expecting her to be here. She had been taking on more work lately, he reminded himself. She won't always be here anymore. He went to his room, turning on the t.v. and sitting against the headboard. The day really had been long.

He faintly heard her footsteps falling around the room and he slowly awoke. She was walking lightly as not to disturb him and he kept his eyes shut, his brow furrowing at the slight sniffling sounds coming from her and he wondered briefly after her health. She slipped into bed and turned her back to him. She only did that when she was upset with him. But he couldn't remember doing anything. He put his had on her arm. She held firm when he tried to turn her.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked, confused.

"Nothing, Booth. Go back to sleep." She knew he wasn't going to let it go that easily

" Bones, baby. Talk to me." He demanded. She sighed and turned on her back to look at the ceiling.

"As you know the bodies from modular bone storage are from wars and murder victims from time periods long before now." He didn't catch her point. "This body had… nicks on the bones of both wrists." She said taking in a deep breath. "Self inflicted." He looked down at her, she looked troubled. He hadn't seen that look on her face for almost a year and a half. "That could have been me, Booth." She said. He saw the tears in her eyes even in the murky darkness in the room. He picked up the hand closest to him and traced the silvery scar on her wrist and then brought it to his mouth kissing it softly.

"That's true, Bones, but it wasn't. That was… almost 2 years ago. You're not perfect. Well to me, you are, but sometimes we crack under the pressure, you know I have, and you also know I've been where you are now. You remember when I told you you just had to wait for everything to grow back better than before? I think the waiting is over. You're even more beautiful now." He said placing his hand on her stomach and kissing her. "Now I don't think Joelle likes mommy upset." He said feeling their daughter move slightly. "Does she?" He asked her protruding stomach.

"Mommy is happy." Brennan said kissing Booth again.

I hope you enjoyed it. I quite enjoyed writing it. =)