A/N: This story has been in my head for a while, it's really weird, really, really weird. When the idea first struck me it was Ichigo as wimpy mama's boy (some should write that version) but then it somehow turned into Ichigo being an Otaku. Things are going to be very weird, trust me... one of the reasons why it took so long for me to write it was a debate with my self of "Should this be a Lucky Star crossover or not." in the end I chose no, but Lucky Star will be mentioned a lot. Enjoy the story, and trust me, it's going to get really weird at times.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, if I did then story arcs won't take forever to finish.
Ichigo: They don't forever.
Emma: You're just saying that to hide from the fact that the arcs drag on for too long...
A Very Unlikely Result
By Emma Iveli
Chapter 1: The Otaku That Sees Ghosts
Ichigo Kurosaki and his mother Masaki were walking home form Karate Class when Ichigo saw a girl trying to jump into the river. Ichigo tried to stop her, but her mother managed to grab him before he did anything.
"There's nothing there." Said Masaki.
Ichigo saw that there was nothing there.
"That's weird." He said.
He and his mother went on his way unaware that Masaki by stopping Ichigo said her own life.
Years Later…
A now teenaged Ichigo was fighting some punks.
"Why are you beating him up?" asked one of the punks.
"Tell me." Said Ichigo, "Why are those flowers knocked down?"
He pointed to flowers in a bottle, that were knocked over.
"Because we were skate boarding and knocked it down." Answered one guy.
He kicked the guy.
"Leave now… or you pay." Said Ichigo dangerously.
Ichigo got into a stance that made the punks run away., However they tripped over something on the way.
"What the…" said the punk.
That was when he saw what they tripped over, a bag of figurines. Ichigo was shocked. He pushed away the punk and checked the figurines.
"Good nothing appears to be broken." He sighed.
He turned to the punks who knew he was going to get it.
A ghost girl watched with a sweat drop, the flowers that were knocked down was a memory of when she died. Suddenly it tuned into fight about his figurines.
She didn't know him in life, but he had a reputation.
Ichigo Kurosaki: The Tough Otaku
After he was done with the punks he took out his glasses, put them on and walked over to the ghost girl and picked up the flowers.
"I'm sorry." He said.
"That's all right." Said the ghost girl.
"I'll get you some more tomorrow." Said Ichigo.
"Are your figures okay?" asked the girl.
"They're fine." Said Ichigo taking out the figures, "I'm so gad my Konata one is okay! I was really worried he damaged it! I mean I've been to get this for a long time."
The ghost girl sweat dropped when he said that.
"Are you okay?" asked Ichigo.
"I'm fine." Said the girl still with a big sweat drop.
Ichigo picked up his bag and left.
Ever since Ichigo was a child, he was able to see ghosts. He would often help ghosts if they needed it and they would make fun of him if they went into his room. After all, he was special and he knew and felt that one-day something big going to happen.
"I'm home!" shouted Ichigo as he opened the door.
That was when his dad kicked him in the face.
"What the hell was that for!" yelled Ichigo.
"That is because you're late for dinner!" yelled his father Isshin.
"You knew I was going to home late! I told you this morning!" yelled Ichigo.
Isshin froze, he was right he did tell them that morning.
"Sorry I forgot." Laughed Isshin.
Ichigo rolled his eyes and went to the table.
"So what sort of girl in skimpy clothes figurines this time?" asked Karin, one of Ichigo's younger twin sisters.
"None." Said Ichigo taking out the two figurines he bought which were Konata from Lucky Star and Luffy from One Piece.
"That still doesn't mean you're not a pervert." Said Karin.
"Just because I buy busty figurines doesn't mean I'm a pervert, I keep telling you my anime crush is Konata Izumi." Said Ichigo pointing to the figure he just bought, "She's flat and short."
Karin sweat dropped. "Okay, never mind."
"Karin stop teasing your brother about his hobby." scolded Masaki.
"Yes mom." Sighed Karin, she thing smirked, "By the way Ichigo… there's a ghost over your shoulder."
Ichigo looked over his shoulder, it was a middle aged man in glasses.
"Hey, I'm trying to eat dinner." Mumbled Ichigo, "Tell me your problems later."
"Okay." Sighed the ghost.
"Wow you two are so lucky." Said Yuzu, Karin's twin sister who looked very different than her twin.
"Yes, we are! And one day, something will happen that will let me become a hero." Said Ichigo.
"Oh come on, this is real life." Mumbled Karin, "What will happen, a cute girl will appear in your room and give you super powers?"
"It's very unlikely but who knows." Said Ichigo.
"Ichigo…" said Karin.
"Yes?" asked Ichigo.
"Get a life." Said Karin.
Later Ichigo was posing his new Konata figurine, while silently wondering what happened to that man.
That was when a girl came thug the wall. She was short, flat cheated, was dressed like a swords man at the same time all in black and had a sword on her hip.
He blinked, he rubbed his eyes to double check and she really was there.
"It is close." She said.
Ichigo tapped her on the shoulder, which made her jump, she turned around and saw Ichigo.
"Hi mysterious girl, unless you're a goddess trying to grant me a wish can you explain why you're here?" asked Ichigo.
The girl was very confused, "What?" she asked, "You are talking to me?"
Ichigo nodded.
The girl sighed, she never met a someone who could see her.
"I am a Shimigami." She explained.
"Wow… so a teenaged girl Shimigami." Said Ichigo, "Well… I guess I have to say it's been done."
"What?" asked the teenaged girl Shinigami, "I don not have time for this."
She withdrew a sword on his hip, she turned around and placed the hilt on the sword on the ghost of that middle aged man.
"I was wondering where he was." Said Ichigo.
The were a stamp on the middle aged man's forehead, he disappeared in a bright flash of white, being replaced by a black butterfly.
"That's new." Said Ichigo.
The girl sighed, "I guess I should explain." She said.
Ichigo nodded.
She took out a notebook and began to explain using drawings drawn by what appeared to be a five year old.
"Shimigami duties are sending normal souls called Wholes to the Soul Society, what humans call heaven, while eliminating hollows, evil spirits that devour wholes." Explained the Shimigami.
"They're cute… but you really have to work your drawings so they're more uniform." Said Ichigo.
The Shimigami blinked, "I have no idea how to respond to that." She said.
"So what are you doing in my room?" asked Ichigo.
"I was looking for a Hollow but I lost track of it." She explained.
"Is it still in the area?" asked Ichigo.
The girl took out a cell phone, "It is, but I can't seem to find it."
"You use cell phones." Said Ichigo with a sweat drop, "That is really new."
"You are very human." Said the Shimigami.
That was when Ichigo heard a strange roar.
"Did you heard that?" asked Ichigo.
"Hear what?" asked the Shimigami.
That was when she heard it.
"That is weird, it's as if I'm haring it from a filter." Thought the Shimigami.
There was a loud crash that shook the house. She got a bad feeling and opened the door, that was when she felt it.
"The Hollow is here!" she yelled.
"What?" yelled Ichigo.
That was when Masaki limped into the room.
"Ichigo… you're okay." She smiled, then collapsed.
"Mom!" yelled Ichigo.
The Shinigami examined her, "She's fine." She said, "She still has her soul intact."
"The Hollows down stairs!" yelled Ichigo, who ran off.
"You fool!" yelled the Shimigami.
Ichigo stopped when he saw Karin being held by the Hollow, which looked like a giant fish monster with a white skull like face. Ichigo couldn't help but to freeze. The Shinigami ran to the Hollow and sliced the Hollows arm, she examined Yuzu and Isshin and nodded.
"They all still have their souls." She said.
Ichigo sighed in relief.
"But… I understand now." Said the Shinigami looking at Ichigo, "You can see, you can touch me, it all makes sense now."
"What?" asked Ichigo.
"The Hollow is after you." Said the Shinigami, "You have more spiritual power than I have ever seen."
Ichigo gritted his teeth, he then did something rash.
"Let my family go! It's me you want!" yelled Ichigo.
The Hollow was about to bite Ichigo but the Shimigami got in the way. She then used something to blast away the Hollow.
"You dolt." She said.
"What?" asked Ichigo.
She limped to the side of the road, "One soul won't stratify it for long." Said Rukia, she sighed, "But now, there is only one way to fight off the Hollow."
She pointed her sword to him, "You must take my powers temporally and defeat the Hollow."
"Okay." Said Ichigo.
"You better… wait… did you say okay?" asked the Shinigami at a loss.
"Yeah… I did…" said Ichigo.
"You really are a strange human." Said the Shinigami, "I should warn you, you might die."
Ichigo had the "Will of D" smile on his face, "We all have to die sometime." He said, "So what do I do?"
"You must drive the Zanpakuto into your very being." Said the Shinigami.
"Okay." Said Ichigo, "But the way… the name's Ichigo."
"And my name is Rukia, Rukia Kuchiki." Said Rukia.
Ichigo plunged the sword in his heart and there was an explosion. When the explosion cleared Rukia was in shocked, her uniform was gone.
"That is impossible." She said, "He took all of my power."
Ichigo who had a big sword, ran towards the Hollow and with one slice destroyed the Hollow.
Rukia watched in interest, "I can not believe it, what kind of human is." She thought.
Ichigo looked at the where the Hollow stood, smiled, and gave the V is victory, Rukia realized that of all people she had to give her powers to, it had to be the most insane person possible.
Next Time: Ichigo is unsure if what happened the night before was a dram or not. That is until there's a "mysterious transfer student" that confirms, now Ichigo must face his density as a substitute soul reaper and fight for what's right.