A/N: This just jumped into my head today, so I wrote it down. Sorry for the lame title, and this is my first CM fanfic, so please tell me if it sucks. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. All rights go to CBS, that wonderful thing that brought us NCIS and Criminal Minds…

Can't Touch That

Wolf-whistles followed Emily Prentiss into the BAU that morning, an event that seemed to piss her off a little. Hotch heard the cat calls from his office, and had been about to scold his team for their crass behavior when he saw Prentiss. She looked beautiful. Her black dress made her look very pale, and those red high heels were downright sexy. There was no denying it: Prentiss looked hot.

" Nice outfit, Emily." JJ commented. Garcia gasped and exclaimed,

" You look sooo pretty!"

Morgan said, " You look hot, Prentiss."

Even Reid said " You look very nice. And statistically speaking, men engage more in sexual intercourse with women who-" He shut up at the look on Morgan's face.

Hotch didn't say anything. Although he hated to admit it, this was a first. Aaron Hotchner had been rendered speechless.

…

As the morning progressed, Hotch found himself falling even further under the spell of Prentiss' beauty. Luckily for Prentiss, no case had come in today. That meant that the team had time to gossip over paperwork, and the hot topic today was Prentiss' new look.

" She has a date tonight." Morgan decided. Prentiss pressed her lips together. Her body posture was defensive, and she stared at the paperwork in front of her.

" C'mon, Em." Morgan leaned forwards. " Who's the lucky guy?"

" Ha!" Prentiss gave a short laugh. " There's no way in hell I'm telling you guys his name! I know that you guys will find him and start profiling him."

Garcia, who had been lurking at Morgan's shoulder, pouted.

" Please tell us! At least tell us what he does!"

Prentiss sighed. "Fine. His name is Robert, and he's a real estate agent in Georgetown."

As the team began to talk about the prospects of dating a real estate agent, Hotch disappeared into his office. He logged onto his computer and opened up an internet search. Never had he been so excited to have the privilege of using the FBI database.

Hotch typed in the search criteria and sat back while the computer flicked through the results. Five names appeared on the screen, five profiles of men that could be dating Prentiss!

Hotch skimmed through the profiles, reading each one with eager eyes. The first guy was 25, and Hotch didn't really see Prentiss as a cougar. The next two were both in their late fifties, and the thought of Prentiss dating someone that old make Hotch feel sweaty and nervous. The next guy was in jail for armed robbery, so Hotch mentally crossed him off the list. The last man sounded like the best candidate: John Barker, 37, successful real estate agent from Georgetown, had divorced his first wife…and he had done two months in jail! Hotch's eyes widened. The guy had been arrested for robbing a liquor store two years ago, and he had done time in the Murphey County Jail! Also, the police had been called multiple times to his old residence in regards to a domestic dispute. Hotch gloated, then felt worried. He couldn't believe that Prentiss was dating a criminal! For all they knew, this guy could be the next Ted Bundy. Hotch's mind whirred as he tried to figure out a plan. Nothing came to mind. After all, Hotch would probably never meet the guy face to face, and following Prentiss on her date to make sure she was okay seemed like overkill.

Hotch resigned himself to waiting until he was introduced to John Barker. If that day ever arrived, that was. Hotch's crushed dreams were rebuilt when he entered the bullpen to hear Prentiss telling JJ and Morgan,

" He's coming to pick me up here. Don't scare him off, okay?"

Morgan looked at her seriously. " Why? Is he…The One?"

Prentiss hesitated. Hotch's stomach turned cold. The One? That was some serious stuff. He prayed she'd shake her head. Instead, Prentiss sort of shrugged.

" We've only been dating for about four weeks."

" Four weeks!" Garcia swooped by, carrying a laptop and a Starbucks cup. " The most Morgan's relationships last is four days! Actually, I think the same can be said for everyone present, excluding you, Prentiss."

" Not Reid." Morgan laughed. " He never has any relationships period."

Everyone chuckled while Reid blushed. JJ smiled at him and the young profiler seemed to relax.

" Prentiss." Hotch swooped in. " Can I see you in my office for a moment?"

He turned and headed back inside. Behind him, he could hear Morgan say,

" Oh, look who got called into the principle's office?"

Prentiss entered the office and shut the door behind her.

" Yes, Hotch?" She asked. Hotch tried to think of something to say. The truth was, he had just wanted to get her alone with him for a moment. Not to try anything funny, just to look her. As creepy as it sounded, it was true. Hotch just wanted to see her in that pure light that he always had. He hated the idea of some creep putting his hands all over her. He just wanted to keep her safe, in his office, with him there to protect her, even if it was for only a few minutes.

That was ridiculous, of course. Prentiss was a very capable federal agent who carried a badge and a gun and could profile someone she had never met down to what they ate for breakfast. She was brilliant and Hotch knew that if Prentiss smelled trouble around her boyfriend, she would leave. But she was so beautiful, and smart and funny…she didn't deserve some criminal who might hurt her.

" Hotch?" Prentiss asked. Hotch jumped a little, then reached hastily for some forms he had.

" Oh, yeah. I just need you to sign these really fast…" He handed her a pen, but it slipped out of his sweaty palm and fell to the floor. Hotch made an awkward movement to pick it up, but Prentiss held up one hand.

" I've got it." She turned around and bent over. The dress rode up in the back, showing a lot more than Prentiss probably ever planned for her boss to see of her backside. Hotch let out an involuntary gasp and seized a nearby coffee mug to keep himself from doing something stupid. He clamped his mouth shut and made a vain attempt to appear calm when Prentiss turned around. She twirled the pen between her fingers and was about to sign the paper when she saw the look on Hotch's face.

" Hotch?" She asked. " Are you okay?"

Hotch was desperately trying to regain his composure. " Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Prentiss raised her eyebrows. " You look like you just swallowed a cup of sugar or something."

Hotch almost grinned. Instead, he took a sip of cold coffee while Prentiss scribbled her signature on the papers. She handed him the pen and headed for the door. She was about to leave when Hotch called,

" Oh, and Prentiss?" She turned in the doorway.

" Enjoy your date tonight."

Prentiss smiled. " Thanks, Hotch." She seemed a little surprised that her boss would act so…sweet…all of a sudden.

Hotch watched her go. Wow, she sure has great legs, he thought to himself. Hotch immidietaly felt guilty. Prentiss had a boyfriend, after all. And he was her boss. But that didn't stop him from daydreaming…

Hotch spent the rest of the day working out his plan to profile this John Barker. The guy's records displayed a lack of respect for authority, as well as possible domestic abuse. Hotch thought that he was probably taking things too far. Sure, the guy had robbed a store, done some time and got into fights with his ex.

It's not like I'm any better, Hotch thought. Hotch knew that he was grumpy, unaffectionate and too serious. He didn't trust people, he spent too much time at work and had developed a calloused view of the world. Hotch thought that he would be possibly the worst boyfriend in the world. But at least he didn't have an arrest record.

…

At five o'clock, Hotch was hiding out in his office when there was a sudden flurry of activity in the bullpen. When he stepped out, Prentiss was standing next to a brown-haired man who had his arm around her shoulders. Garcia, JJ, Morgan and Reid were all introducing themselves. Hotch straightened his tie. It was time to go in for the kill-not literally, of course.

He marched out of the office and swept down the stairs.

" Hotch!" Prentiss exclaimed. " This is John. John, this is Aaron Hotchner, head of the BAU team."

John stuck out his hand. Hotch shook it. The man has a hand like a dead fish, he thought.

" That's cool." John said. Hotch stared at him. " I just think it's really cool, what you guys do. See the other night, I was talking to my friend, and I was like 'yeah, my girlfriend works for the FBI. Yeah, that's right, she carries a gun. Can your chick arrest people and look hot while doing it?" John gave Prentiss a little squeeze. " That's my Emily."

Hotch was starting to seriously dislike this guy. The way that he talked about Prentiss made it seem like he was only dating her for her appearance.

" Yes, Agent Prentiss was a key role in the arrest of a dangerous armed robber a few days ago." Hotch said. " He robbed a liquor store, nearly killed several people." John looked away, but Hotch continued, feeling ruthless. " He's locked up in Murphey County Jail now, lucky for those poor people he robbed."

John was staring at a fixed point above Hotch's head, a strained smile plastered to his face.

" Murphey County Jail…I believe you'd be familiar with it?" Hotch asked. John shuffled one foot back and forth, like a kid caught in a lie.

" Actually, no." He muttered. Hotch smirked.

" Hey, John, mind if I talk to you for a minute?" He asked, taking the other man's shoulder and steering him down the hallway.

Hotch shut the interrogation room door behind him. John's face paled.

" So…" Hotch leaned against the closed door. " John. Made some mistakes in the past, have we?"

John licked his lips and his eyes darted around the room. " Yeah, but come on, man. That was years ago, I changed a lot since then."

Hotch gave him his best Hotch-stare.

" I'm not interested in excuses, Barker. I just want to warn you that this team here at the BAU is like a family. If I hear that you've been treating Agent Prentiss with anything less than respect and dignity, I will personally kick your ass. And so will JJ, Morgan, Reid and Garcia."

John nodded, his face becoming shiny with sweat. Hotch opened the door and gave the other man a friendly clap on the shoulder. John headed down the hallway, his gait fast and slightly frantic.

" Oh, and John?" Hotch called. John froze and Hotch appeared at his shoulder.

" You break her heart, I will break your arm."

…

As Hotch watched Prentiss and John walk out of the BAU, he felt a strange sadness well inside of him. He knew that Prentiss probably wouldn't stay with John for very long ; she needed a strong man in her life who knew how to take whatever life dished out. But for now, she was with John. Emily Prentiss was beautiful, brilliant, a top agent and a loyal friend. She was smart, funny and charming. She was amazing. And Aaron Hotchner knew that no matter how badly he wanted to, he could never touch that.