Eco Addicts Anonymous

A.N.: This is my first Jak and Daxter FanFic. Everything belongs to Naughty Dog, so yeah. Please review

"Heeellloooo everybody! Daxter is in the building, but you may call me; Orange Lightning ZaZaZing. We're all stuck here today, cos you big bunch of losers have issues. You're all addicted to eco, when you should be addicted to me, Especially you sweet cheeks, raarh." Daxter winked at the foxy red head in the back of the room.

"Now I'm gonna get a few of you to tell me your sob stories. What about you babe? Tell Orange Lighting about your problems, and maybe give me a back rub while you're at it…"

"Ah Daxter, good you got the group warmed up for me. Now get back to your addict chair. My name is Mel and I'll be helping you on the road to recovery. Can I ask you to tell me your problems missy?"

"Don't ever call me missy. I don't have problems. I am perfect. I could've ruled the world if it wasn't for that idiot boy. Dark eco changed my life for the greater good. I was powerful and sexy. I was Maia Acheron. Almost a Dark Eco Sage. Now look at me. Half disfigured because of that precursor robot falling into the dark eco silo. I will have my revenge. If it is the last thing I do. I will rip him to shreds and feed him to my baby lurker shark."

"Ohhkay, thank you Maia. That's a start. So you were addicted to Dark Eco. It made you feel invincible, then it ruined your whole life. Did your brother sign you up for this group?" Mel questioned awkwardly

"No. Gol died during the robot incident. He was weak. A fool. He doomed us both. He deserved what he got. No, Samos the Sage and his colourful friends forced me into this addicts group. Using their light eco." Maia snarled

"Ol' Greeny log head still yaks on about the Precursors. Where did they go? why did they build this crap? They left in their precursor ship before he could get a signed autograph. He's like a screaming fan girl. And he won't even accept that I, Orange Lighting am a precursor. The coolest precursor there is by the way. Besides my hot babe Tess."

"DAXTER SHUT UP AND WAIT YOUR TURN." Mel screamed. No one ever listened to her. "Now, lets hear from Erol."

"I'm Erol. I was part of the Krimson Guard. I was the best racer in all of Haven until he came along. He took everything from me. My job, my friends, my racing, Keira, and almost took my life. I constantly tried to kill him, but he could've been a lot nicer to me. I wanted power. I wanted to single handedly destroy all of the Metalheads and take over the world. I became eco crazed and made friends with the Dark Makers. I…"

"Thank you Erol, but we don't need your life story. Now you are only here because Ashelin had mercy and spared your sorry ass. I want to tell you about the 2 step life change plan." Mel started

"Step 1: Stay alive. Step 2: THINK ABOUT NOT DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN" Daxter offered. Mel rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. Daxter's 2 step plan was a lot better than hers.

"Baron Praxis. We meet again." Said Kor (The MetalHead Leader.)

"Wait, you two know each other?" asked Mel. How could it be an 'anonymous' support group if they all knew each other?

"Know each other? HE TRIED TO KILL ME." The Baron screamed.

"You should've given me the precursor stone!"

"NEVER! Die Beast." Baron Praxis tackled Kor and began beating the crap out of him. Erol and Maia started flirting and Daxter started making bets on who would win.

"SILENCE." Mel roared. Never had she had a support group this bloody awful. Why today? Why? Everyone listened to her and sat back in their chairs immediately. Daxter tried to look cute and innocent. Erol slapped him over the head until Mel's death glare forced them to stop.

"Now" She said sweetly, "Let's talk about Cross addiction. Some have you have tried to control your urge for eco by indulging in something else. Krew, what else are you addicted too?"

"Ah." He licked his pudgy fingers, "Weapons. They are beautiful. Nothing excites me more than a loaded peacemaker. I enjoy gambling and being a Crime Lord as well. My daughter Rayn says…."

"Eyuhwwwwww. Krew? Reproduced? Can you imagine what that tub of butter must look like? Anyway buddy aren't you forgetting on addiction?" Daxter taunted and mimed having a fat stomach.

"Erm racing?"

"Noooooooo. Look at the size of you. What, did you eat an entire Yakow for dinner? How do they make pants that fit you? God I missed pants."

"The insensitive Ottsel is right. You look like you ate all the Lurkers on Misty island." Maia chuckled.

"Misty island? Where's that?" asked Erol and Kor. Erol was trying to charm Maia's pants off and Kor was thinking about snacking on a few delicious Lurkers. Mmm.

"Alright, well maybe it's Daxter's turn, seeing as he can't manage to keep his fur trap shut for more than a minute." Mel ordered and silence from everyone was granted. Finally.

"Orange Lighting doesn't have a problem with Eco."

"But what about your whole 'Dark Daxter' phase?"

"That's not a problem. I got it all under control, much faster than Jakky boy did, baby doll."

"Hmm, right… Well the people that love you beg to differ. They also ticked that you are; addicted to drinking, addicted to insulting, addicted to complaining, addicted to calling yourself 'orange lightning' and addicted to women."

"WHAT! I am not. I don't drink that much, I only get smashed 3 times a week. Insults are who I am. I don't ever complain. Like seriously why be so mean. I wish I wasn't here this place sucks. 1 word. Redecorate. You need more Orange Lightning in this place. ZaZaZing. And how am I addicted to women?"

"You've flirted with anyone that has boobs. Keira, Ashlein, Tess, Me, you even flirted with Krew for a moment."

"Babe, I can't help if they dig me. You just couldn't handle some Orange Lovin'."

Mel sighed. Just then, Jak burst through the door.

"Dax, we gotta go. Some surviving MetalHeads are attacking the Naughty Ottsel."

"No not my drink!" Daxter shouted and jumped onto Jak's shoulder.

"Hey! That's the guy that ruined my life, not to mention my new boots." Maia yelled and pointed to Jak.

"Yeah he ruined mine two. Uh my life not my boots." Erol snarled.

"He double crossed me." Krew muffled whilst shoveling vanilla cake down his throat.

"He stole my precursor stone." Kor roared.

"LETS GET HIM!" Said everyone who held a grudge against Jak simultaneously. That boy has a lot of enemies.

"Whoops. I didn't think this would happen. Again." Whispered Mel as she crawled to safety.

"Jaaaaaak! I think we're in trouble." Wailed Daxter.

Jak nodded and pulled out his Scatter gun. They were always in trouble.

The end.

So that's my story, it's just a one off. Yeah I know that most of these people are supposed to be dead, but it's fanfic. Please review xox