"They're coming my way, over and out."

"Bzzztt- How far? Over."

"I'd say about half a mile out. Over."

"Wow Sakura-chan, that's some serious vision you got going there. Over."

"She's using binoculars dumbass. Over."

"Why are we saying 'over' anyway?…. Over."

"…"

"…"

"Who started it anyway? Over."

*sigh*"Sasuke…I think. Over."

"Why even? Over."

*snicker* "I think because it makes him feel all badass. Over."

*giggling* "We're not ten anymore. Over."

"…"

"Sasuke? Over."

"I think he's died of embarrassment. Over."

"…"

"Bzzzt… IF YOU GUYS THINK IT'S SO STUPID WHY ARE YOU STILL USING IT!"

"You forgot to add over…Over."

Sakura almost fell off her perch high up in the tall oak tree, as her binoculars spotted Naruto, a couple hundred meters to her right, almost get skewered by a kunai sent across from a good hundred meters to her left.

Clutching the tree to keep her from falling over in her fit of laughter, Sakura froze the second a familiar feeling swept over her.

Oh God, not now…

She grabbed onto the tree for dear life as she bent over, taking deep breaths and trying to steady herself when the world seemed to be spinning.

"Sakura what's wrong? Over."

"Eh? What's wrong with Sakura-chan? Over."

"She's hunched over. Over."

"Isn't she just laughing her ass off? Over."

"…. no, her chakara is in chaos, something's not right. Over."

*pant* "Sasuke, calm the crap down, I'm fine." *pant* "…Over."

"Don't bullshit Sakura, you're clearly not. Over."

"It's nothing, just a bit of nausea. Over."

"That didn't seem like 'just a bit—"

"Ahh! It must've been that ramen we had for breakfast, right Sakura-chan? Over." *nervous laughter*

"Y-yeah, that must be it. Over."

"But-"

"I'm fine Sasuke, honestly." *shuffling* "Now prepare yourselves boys, they're coming…"

"…"

"You forgot to say over…."

The Iwa-nin never saw it coming. One second they were casually creeping through the land of fire, feeling all triumphant and badass for getting past the border, the next second their manly pride was trampled upon as a pink haired woman came crashing down upon their leader.

They had the element of surprise to their advantage. Sakura swiftly executed a series of moves, getting a good few hits in the abdomen and torso, winding her opponent.

She vaguely acknowledged the startled gasps and hisses, as Naruto and Sasuke jumped the remaining Iwa-nin's. However she didn't have time to get sidetracked; her opponent was quite the muscleman and wouldn't go down easy.

She stepped back to avoid a punch, and easily sidestepped a kick, lithely jumping up to avoid the execution of a water-jutsu. Her opponents large, brawny body form was disadvantaging him against her, and his lacking speed made it easy for Sakura to keep up, all she would have to do it avoid his swings, because if she got hit, for sure it would hurt like a bitch.

They continued to dance for a while. The formidable Iwa-nin constantly raining attacks upon Sakura, but Sakura with her Anbu training and Team 7 experience, easily kept up, her speed managing to get her out of the way just in the nick of time.

However all the movement quickly proved to be a problem for Sakura, after narrowly avoiding a roundhouse kick, her feet touched the ground, only to find it shake and sway before her.

Her current body condition couldn't keep up, and she found herself stumbling backwards as a wave of nausea swept over her.

"Heh, got you now, ya little bitch."

In that moment Sakura felt every bone in her jaw break and even a few teeth come loose.

The other side of her face hit the tree her back was pressed against so hard her features almost carved into the wood.

"Sakura!"

It took Naruto and Sasuke's simultaneous screams to quickly bring her back to reality, and before Sakura could even think or process the blinding pain screaming from her face, she reacted quickly on instinct.

One chakara enhanced blow in the space between the abdomen and chest.

Another against the left lung, shattering the ribs and piercing the pericardial sac.

One jab aimed for the heart.

"Sakura you've got to keep him alive damn it!"

She paused mid-strike.

"Chtt."

She tutted in anger, before reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a roll of metal wire instead.

Before her opponent could even move, she bound his hands and legs in metal wire so tightly his skin began to bleed.

"Wow Sakura-chan, that must've hurt for you to do that to him…"

"Well it serves him damn right."

Sasuke kicked the bound man from behind his knees as he walked over, causing the tall, large man to fall to his knees.

Sakura smirked a thanks at Sasuke.

"BITCH, THE SECOND I GET LOOSE I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD O-"

The man seemed to have regained his breath, and proceeded to waste it through visible pain and agony by screaming every cuss word he could think of, and a few Sakura was pretty sure was made up, at her.

Sakura smirked, tugging her end of the wire, causing the connected binds to tighten.

"Now listen here you son of a-"

Sakura paused in the middle of her tirade. The pause was long enough that Naruto and Sasuke who stood next to her, and even the man she towered over, looked up in confusion.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head, before attempting to restart her sentence.

"You son of a- BLARRRRRGHHHH!"

There was absolute silence as everyone in that vicinity, dead or alive, watched in absolute horror and disgust as Sakura puked all over one of the strongest, and most valuable information sources from Iwa.

"Shit, if that doesn't cause an international incident then heaven knows what will."

Naruto, who had somewhat become accustomed to this, commented as Sasuke continued to watch with pure, unadulterated horror.

Sakura stumbled back, dizzy and disorientated, and Naruto caught her just in time before she fell over.

"Oh my God Sakura, what the FUCK did you eat!?"

Naruto sighed, between the delirious Sakura in his arms and the disgusted, and perhaps queasy, Sasuke to his left, to the passed out and now possibly dead Iwa-nin in front of him, Naruto decided a little break was needed.

2 hours later found a sedated Iwa-nin in the bath of hotel room, and an out-of-sorts threesome, within the hotel room.

Sakura sat on one bed, Naruto on the opposing, with Sasuke on the desk chair.

"Guys," Sasuke broke the awkward silence first. "Just what the hell is going on?"

Sakura sighed, adjusting the ice pack on her face as she turned to face Sasuke.

"What do you mean? Nothing's 'going on'."

Sasuke levelled her with a blank stare, and from that look alone Sakura could almost predict word for word what he was going to say.

"Sakura, I'm not stupid. You're a medic, you know your body better than any of us know our own! How is it you would allow yourself onto the battlefield if you knew you were that sick, or supposedly 'food-poisoned'." He air-quoted the words, proving how little he believed their cover story.

Sakura's fingers clenched tighter around the ice, the gentle sound of cubes breaking echoed near her ear.

Damn Uchiha's and their smart-arsedness.

From his place on the bed Naruto silently watched the exchange between his two teammates. He could see Sakura slowly getting pissed off by Sasuke's incredible perceptivity. It wouldn't be long before he guessed it by himself, Sakura could see that too.

Naruto sighed. He knew Sakura well, when something troubled her she tended to turn towards anger, her confusion only adding fuel to the fire. This trait of hers, which had seemed to soften over the years, had sparked up a blaze with her pregnancy and Naruto was constantly reminding himself that this wasn't the usual Sakura. It was only because of the stress and anger, more towards herself than anyone else at getting herself in such a situation, that she was like this.

But Sasuke didn't know that.

And no one knew how to press Sakura's buttons better than Sasuke, and right now he was pushing the buttons that would set off dynamite.

He decided it was time to intervene.

"Look Sasuke, stop being so uptight. Nothing's going on, people throw-up in battle all the time-"

"That's bullshit Naruto and you know it!" Sasuke interrupted with annoyance, shooting a glare at him, before turning to Sakura with narrowed eyes. "People often throw up from nerves before a fight, or dizziness after a fight, but never during a fight. You know better than anyone else the effect of adrenaline."

Sakura met his glare with one of her own, equally challenging.

"But it was after the fight-"

"Please, you were feeling sick even before we attacked-"

"I wasn't, I just lost my balance on the tree branch, that doesn't mean I was feeling sick!"

"Why do you keep lying Sakura!?" Sasuke almost shouted, his voice one octave below, anger and hurt clearly lacing through his words.

Naruto and Sakura watched in shock as Sasuke promptly stood up, storming out the room and slamming the door behind him so hard the wall around it shot out a spider web of cracks on both sides.

Sakura looked away from the door, guilt coursing through her.

She looked up when she felt the bed dip as Naruto sat beside her and took her hand in his own.

"Sakura-chan, do you really not trust Sasuke? I mean if it really is him, he wouldn't be so bad, after all he clearly cares…"

She sighed, leaning against Naruto's shoulder as she replied in a quiet voice.

"Its not that I don't trust him, I'm just…afraid."

"Of…" Naruto prompted when Sakura fell silent.

"Of ruining his life," she replied after a pause. "Sasuke's been our best friend for years, and we know better than anyone else just how much pressure the clan puts on him. He only just got into Anbu and they're finally laying off him. If the clan heard he got someone pregnant, he'd be forced to settle down, come off active Anbu duty and join the police force."

A tear slipped down her cheek.

"I don't want to ruin the life he's worked so hard to attain, when I know just how much he's been through to get it."

"But Sakura-chan, you too have worked hard to become what you are. Always training hard to keep up with us, always taking care of us and being there for us. You're giving up your life too."

"But Naruto, I made a mistake, it's my responsibility-"

"No, you both made a mistake, and you both have to take responsibility for it. Now you need to find Sasuke and talk things out with him."

Sakura nodded against Naruto's shoulder, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

"Okay."

"There's a good girl." The blonde grinned widely, ruffling Sakura's pink locks.

"But…will you come with me?" Sakura asked in a small voice.

Naruto smiled wider, jumping up and offering his hand to Sakura.

"Of course, anywhere and everywhere for you milady." Naruto pronounced poetically and Sakura couldn't help but laugh as she reached up and took Naruto's hand.

They found Sasuke slumped against the tall, grassy banks of a clear river which cut through the village just past the border of Fire.

Sakura took a deep breath as they approached Sasuke, who was stretched out with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed against the setting sun. Naruto gave her hand a squeeze before they separated to sit either side of Sasuke.

"Ne…Sasuke."

Sakura spoke gently poking his cheek.

When he didn't respond Sakura poked it again.

When he still didn't respond Sakura wondered if he really was asleep, and shared questioning glances with Naruto as to what to do.

Sakura pointed to Naruto, then pointed to her ear and then Sasuke's nose, motioning for Naruto to check if Sasuke was breathing.

Deep down Sakura knew Sasuke was alive and perfectly fine, but she couldn't resist such a fine opportunity.

This was payback for all the times Naruto and Sasuke had swapped her shampoo with hair dye, stolen her underwear and hung it on trees, hidden a rat in her sleeping bag and tricked her into thinking she'd killed Kakashi by mistake.

She fought to hold her smile down as Naruto moved his face closer to Sasuke, leaning over him fully.

Naruto hesitated shooting a confused look at Sakura, since he couldn't tell anything from his position a good meter away from Sasuke.

Sakura hurriedly and worriedly motioned for him to move even closer.

And Naruto, like a fool, complied.

A wicked grin broke across Sakura's face, and before anyone could see it she made her move.

Gently she pressed her hand to the back of Naruto's head, pushing it that 10-centimeter gap forward.

Sakura strongly regretted not having a camera on her person in that moment, to photograph the epic moment, when the two men repeated the kiss they had fought so damn long to forget.

Sakura almost fell in the lake from laughing, when Sasuke's eyes opened.

Sasuke screamed in Naruto's face and Naruto, who had frozen from shock, proceeded to scream bloody murder in return.

The next instant had Sasuke at the lake's edge, dunking his head underwater, and gargling water and spitting it vehemently out of his mouth.

Naruto was frozen still for a moment after the scream had died, his mouth agape. The next moment a shudder visibly racked though his whole body, and he ran straight past Sasuke, jumping fully clothed into the lake.

Sakura laughed so hard she had to cross her legs together to prevent her pissing herself.

It was after a good ten minutes of Naruto and Sasuke trying to purge their bodies of the memory, and Sasuke even trying to light up a katon-jutsu on himself, with Sakura rolling around in the background, did the two boys walk away from the lake.

With Naruto fully drenched and most of Sasuke's upper half wet, the two stalked accusatorily towards Sakura, who sat on the bank desperately trying to hold in her laughter.

"Sakura, I'm going to rip your motherfuck-"

Sasuke paused mid-tirade as Sakura stopped giggling altogether, and swayed slightly before lying down sideways on the bank.

Naruto was beside her in an instant.

"Sakura-chan, you ok?"

It took a moment but Sakura answered.

"I'm fine, sorry I think I laughed myself dizzy."

"Hold on," Saskue interrupted the pair, eyes wide "Sakura's not…"

Sasuke stopped, shaking his head, as if not wanting to say the words.

Both Naruto and Sakura looked at him in surprise and trepidation.

"…dying is she?"

Naruto almost fell over in shock, and Sakura face-planted into the soil.

"Sasuke, I'm fine." Sakura smiled slightly, rising to sit upright as Naruto supported her.

"Actually there's something we need to discuss…"

Sasuke sighed, raking a hand through his wet hair, which slicked back against his scalp, it gently drying in the setting sun along with most of his and Naruto's clothes drying side by side on trees near the riverbank.

Anyone who had no idea what was going on would probably get quite the strange idea.

Something along the lines of a threesome gone wrong, considering both men's half-naked state and Sakura the only one sitting between their sprawled out forms, her knees curled against her chest, a distressed look on her face.

Despite Sasuke seeming relatively calm at that moment, his posture was not that of relaxation but of resignation.

He was letting it all sink in, the knowledge along with the sun against his bare skin, replaying instances that had only happened moments ago, in his mind.

Perhaps he hadn't reacted in the best of ways, he reflected.

After all, cussing out the motherfucker who did this to her and left without a word and then questioning ruthlessly what the fuck was wrong with his female teammate to get herself into such a situation to begin with, wasn't exactly helpful.

The complete opposite of it to be precise.

Not only that but he had also accidently flashed Sakura.

Whilst he had been standing, enraged and screaming every colourful word in his dictionary, and a few from a couple of other languages, a kid had walked by all innocent and all ears.

He had stared wide eyed at Sasuke as the torrent of words he had just spewed floated in the air around them like a bad smell.

It didn't help the way Sasuke reacted either. He was, after all, not so great with the kids.

"What the fuck you staring at kid?" He had grunted in the kid's direction, shooting a glare his way, and in his angered state a flash of red subconsciously flickered across his eyes.

The poor kid had freaked the fuck out.

He was clearly a shinobi's child otherwise he wouldn't have been walking through the forest alone, nor would he have known what that flash of red meant.

Nor would he have been able to throw that tiny, miniature fireball, which just had to hit Sasuke's trouser belt in just the wrong place.

The shock delayed Sasuke's reaction.

Just long enough for Sakura to get a nice, full-frontal view, worse from her sitting down position, of Sasuke's everything.

Naruto, who had seen it all before, proceeded to laugh till tears were streaming down his face in the background.

And now roughly ten minutes later, with the kid gone and the three lying side by side against the riverbank, an awkward silence settled over them.

The blush still hadn't left Sasuke's face, and as much as he knew he had reacted badly, shame prevented him from opening his mouth.

Not for apologizing, but for crossing that line that teammates should never cross.

Just as he opened his mouth, Sakura's soft voice cut through the silence.

"Oh thank God you're not the father…I've never seen anyone so fucking bad at handling kids…"

Naruto chuckled from the left of Sakura. "Funny isn't it, Itachi can make a kid laugh or cry with just one look and yet Sasuke can only make them shit their pants, or cause them to drop his own."

Sakura sighed, unable to hold back and allowing herself to fall back into comfortable, careless laughter alongside her two favorite boys.

"Sakura… I'm sorry."

Sakura smiled, reaching over and patting Sasuke's shoulder reassuredly. "Oh, don't worry about it Sasuke, I know you're just worried and to be honest your anger is justified, I did get myself into quite the motherfucking pickle." She paused in thought, laughing gently, before adding on, "And it's not like I've been the nicest person lately, with or without hormones, I've been quite the bitch…"

Naruto snorted, mumbling, "Bitch isn't the word for it…"

A grin broke out across Sasuke's face, and he raised an upturned palm, his elbow supporting his arm from the grass.

"Truce?"

"Truce." Sakura smiled slapping palms with Sasuke, before holding his hand in a friend-slash-brotherly gesture.

"Regardless, you could weigh more than an elephant or be the wicked witch of the west, but we're here for you Sakura"

"Come rain or snow." Naruto added

"In sickness or health?" Sasuke continued

Tears gathered at the corner of Sakura's eyes, and she grabbed Naruto's hand from beside her, along with Sasuke's already clenching hers. She brought their clasped hands towards her chest, closing her eyes and silently thanking God that in all this mess she still had them.

"Thanks guys." Her whisper filled the silence.

Of course, guys being guys, they killed the moment so fucking cleanly.

Sharing a conspiring glance over Sakura's body, Naruto and Sasuke both stood up in unison, pulling Sakura with them from their joined hands.

Then in one fluid movement, dumped her into the river.

A/N; Quick pointers - Thanks so so much to the fan-frikking-tastic clueless788 for beta-ing and encouraging me (and for the huge hello kitty ofc) Love you!

- This is Non-Massacre btw so no Akatsuki for now :(

- Sakura's not underage here, idk if i mentioned her age before but i would peg her to be around 21. I just think that the trio have always seen Kakashi as a teacher to them so one interpretation of their relationships could be that Sakura could never imagine going out with her teacher (though for the sake of KakaSaku i hope to heavens that not true ;P)

- Any ideas or ways u imagine this going feel free to throw them in :)

- And when the hell did the layout change! I really have been away too long...