A/N: Before this story wraps up- I've written a 'What if' in the future drabble.

It's when Deidara and Itachi decide to join Akatsuki after wandering outside the Leaf Village in search of odd jobs to make money. They never ran into them at the Chuunin Exams.

Warning: Language, violence, OOC...

"Akatsuki?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that an S-ranked criminal organization un?"

"Mmhmm..."

"Then what's with the-"

"I don't know Deidara."

Two young men, one age eighteen and the other twenty, stood staring at a large basket on their kitchen table. The basket was filled with exotic fruits, chocolate hearts, and stuffed bunny rabbits. Even the greeting card glued to the top was frilly.

Deidara picked up the card with a raised brow, flipping it open with a hand. "'Dear Uchiha Itachi and Deidara-kun, this is a basket. A basket full of friendship and good feeling. Join our organization and we will give you more power and status than you have right now. Also we make quite an amount of money. And who couldn't use more money? Please respond accordingly. With much hope and love- Pein.' Un," he dryly finished.

Itachi took the card out of his hand, re-reading it. "Sounds interesting," he said without looking up.

"Interesting? Don't be ridiculous Itachi un," Deidara said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. "I mean, look what they sent us. Something's obviously wrong with this organization hmm."

Itachi snorted, facing the blonde with an eyebrow raised. "You seem to be against this, surprisingly. It might not be a bad idea you know."

"They're trying to bribe us."

"They're not trying to bribe us. Don't be an idiot."

"I'm not being an idiot you stupid troll!" Deidara shouted with a popped vein.

"What was that?" Itachi butted foreheads with him, several tick marks plastered onto his face.

"We shouldn't go hmm!"

"Why not?"

"Because there's no point!

"I thought you wanted to travel around and make money?"

"Yeah- but not by leaving. Especially since it could be forever. Itachi-no-baka!"

"Don't call me that you-!"

"Um..."

Deidara and Itachi jumped apart from where they had been seriously considering starting a fight in the middle of the kitchen, looking towards the doorway with pissed off expressions still on. Sasuke and Naruto stared back at them, sweating from training out in the fields with their team.

"Is everything all right?" Sasuke carefully asked, noticing his brother's Sharingan was activated.

"It's nothing," Itachi assured him, eyes going back to their original color.

Deidara turned to him in anger. "It's not nothing-!"

Itachi clouted him over the head.

"Ow!"

Naruto and Sasuke sweatdropped. They had gotten used to their older brothers' fighting over the years.

"Can we help with anything?" Naruto asked. "You know we could always get Hiruzen to help you out-"

"That won't be necessary," Itachi interrupted with a violent twitch.

Deidara sourly glanced at him. "I wouldn't mind having Hiruzen down here un..." he grumbled.

"So what were you guys fighting about this time?" Sasuke questioned.

Itachi hummed thoughtfully and then waved them off. "It's nothing really. Deidara-no-baka and I have a mission to go on and it's going to take a long time."

Deidara started to protest but was cut off by Sasuke.

"Are you ever coming back?" he asked in a bored tone.

Itachi shrugged. "Who knows. We'll visit."

Sasuke harrumphed, nodding slightly.

Naruto blinked. "Will it bring in lots of money?"

"Hn."

Naruto beamed, flashing him a thumb up. "Well have fun then! We need to find a way to get more money anyway since you won't let us blow up any more banks with Deidara-nii."

"That's because the Hokage keeps billing me," Itachi muttered with a popped vein.

"Well we won't keep you any longer," Sasuke said, dragging his best friend off by the ear. "Have fun and don't die."

"Itai! You're gonna rip my ear off bastard!"

"Shut up dobe."

Deidara stared after them. "Wha...?"

Itachi waited until he was sure the two had disappeared from sight to turn to a baffled Deidara. "Ok. Let's get going then."

"Ha?" The blonde gave him an incredulous look. "We can't just leave Sasuke and Naruto here alone."

"Yes we can."

"Heartless bastard," Deidara twitched.

Itachi rolled his eyes, picking one of the fruits out the basket. "We're not their parents Deidara, they can take care of themselves now."

"Says you," Deidara huffed, sticking out his tongue. "They're only fourteen un."

"And they have Shisui here to bother them." Itachi started to walk for the front door. "Let's just check out what this organization wants. We can send them goodie- baskets like this and other crap in the mail."

Deidara listened to the sounds of Naruto and Sasuke bickering in the living room before sighing and following after the older Uchiha.

Well- atleast they left a note.

-Thirty Minutes Later-

Pein was sitting in his chambers overlooking Bijuu profiles when a knock came on his door. The pictures were actually quite nice; he had a big collection of the Bijuu posters on his wall- the collectable version. Very elite. And one day he's rule the world with them!

The knock came again. "Stop thinking about your posters Pein and open up dammit!"

He looked up from the desk he sat at and called, "Alright, alright. Come in." Sheesh!

Konan had a very strange look on her face as she walked in. "Pein-sama, there are two guys out here to see you."

"Me?" Pein was kind of caught off guard. No one ever came to visit him! "Well send them in. Hurry."

Konan nodded and then walked back out. A few minutes later the smirking blonde and impassive raven Pein had first noticed on a scouting mission strode inside his chambers, strutting as if they owned the place.

Deidara appreciatively whistled. "Nice place un."

"Very Stone Age era," Itachi added.

Pein gaped in surprise, trying to figure out how the two teens managed to find him all the way out in Amegakure by themselves in less than a day. "What are you two doing here?"

"Well we got your basket in the mail and decided to come scope things out un," Deidara said. He soon acquired a thoughtful look. "Although it is kind of weird how you found out about us and sent a card and care package to our house…"

Itachi bobbed his head in agreement. "Yes. Please refrain from doing that next time. The fruit was good but I don't appreciate stalkers very much."

"What happened to the chocolate?" Pein asked with a raised brow.

Itachi jabbed a thumb beside him. "This fatass ate it all."

"What!" Deidara pulled him into a rough headlock, trying to strangle him. "That was you you fat old ogre!"

Pein cleared his throat to get the attention back on him. "Before allowing you to join, I must hear a valid reason for you wanting to become a part of our organization."

Itachi assumed an authorative stance, coughing into his fist before beginning to speak. "Many years ago my parents-"

"We just want your money un," Deidara cut him off.

Itachi looked at him with thunderclouds booming above his head. "Deidara...you..."

Deidara gave him a smirk. "What? It's the truth isn't it?"

"That's not it!" Itachi lunged at him, tugging at his cheeks. "Just stop cutting me off baka!"

Pein inwardly rolled his eyes at the bickering. "Alright, break it up you two. Your reasoning is fine- everyone else is here for the money too. Now do you pledge to serve Akatsuki faithfully and loyalty or suffer at the hands of death and/or cannibalism?"

Deidara pursed his lips. "I don't know hmm. I don't do pledges."

"Neither do I," Itachi said.

"And cannibalism doesn't suit me either," Deidara hummed.

"Then just paint your nails and put on our cloak for Kami's sake!" Pein said in a frustrated tone.

The blonde smirked. "Will do hmm."

Pein looked up, shuffling the papers on his desk. "I'm glad you've agreed. Now I'll take you to meet your partners that you'll be assigned to go on missions and capture the Bijuu with."

Deidara and Itachi exchanged a glance.

"You mean we won't be partners together?" Itachi asked.

"Of course not," Pein said with a slight grimace. "I don't think your…fighting abilities compliment each other all that well…" He grimaced again at the memory of his scouting mission. "So I found two others who would be much more productive."

Deidara jutted out his bottom lip. "I didn't think we were that bad un," he murmured, thinking about their last mission for the Hokage.

-Flashback of what Pein saw-

Deidara grinned, wiping his hands as he clutched the scroll they were assigned to retrieve. All around them the village they had attacked was in shambles, set aflame by a massive explosion. He called his clay bird to him which was circling above, looking around at the same time. "Hey Itachi!"

The Uchiha glared at the sound of the voice from the mob of shinobi he was currently dealing with. Peering through the crowd of attackers, he could just make out the lithe form of the blonde climbing onto the back of his clay bird and feeding it clay seeds as a treat. Itachi rolled his eyes and sliced through the bodies in his way. "Deidara- what are you doing?"

Deidara flew overhead, waving over his shoulder as he did so. "You need to get out of there hmm. I just planted a mine!" he called.

"What? What the heck is wrong with you?" Itachi shouted. "I'm still down here!"

"Well then come on up un!"

"Using what?"

"Er…"

"DEIDARA YOU IDIOT!"

End Flashback

Itachi and Deidara cringed at the memory. "Ah…" they muttered in unison.

Itachi had to walk around in bandages for three months and Deidara had to use crutches to move due to the vicious beating Itachi gave him afterwards.

Pein nodded. "I can see you understand. So now if you'll come with me…" The leader of Akatsuki stood, motioning them to follow him out the room. "I will introduce you to your new partners."

Deidara stared, and then nudged Itachi in the side. "Oh my Kami un…look at the one on the right," he loudly whispered.

Itachi cast him an irritable glance. "The one on the right? How about the one on the left?" he whispered back. "It's a giant shark."

"The other's a hunchback," Deidara said in awe.

Itachi rolled his eyes.

Watching the two teens interact with slight veins throbbing was a pissed Sasori in Hiruko and Kisame with Sameheda on his back. Pein stood off to the side, his face in his hand.

Deidara sighed. "I miss Naru-chan and Sasu-kun already," he woefully said.

"I don't," Itachi muttered.

Deidara gave him a look, placing his hands on his hips. "So you're telling me that if Sasu-kun and Naru-chan's sibling rivalry ever got out of hand so bad that it made Sasu-kun all jealous at Naru-chan, then causing Sasu-kun to go slightly more crazy than he already is and run off to- oh I don't know- Orochimaru un, that you wouldn't care?"

Itachi blinked at him owlishly. "Deidara do you ever think when you speak?"

"No, not really hmm."

"Obviously." Itachi crossed his arms, staring the younger blonde down. "Besides, Sasuke would never go off to a person like Orochimaru. We haven't even seen him in seven years, and I doubt he'll show up now."

Deidara waved his hands. "Fine, fine hmm."

Pein cleared his throat. "I'd hate to interrupt your…conversation," he said, "but can we please get on with this?"

"Hai!" the two chorused.

Pein ever so slightly twitched. "OK then. Deidara of Iwagakure-"

"Konohagakure," the blonde interrupted.

"What?" Pein asked.

"Konohagakure," Deidara repeated. "That's where I'm from un."

Pein felt a nerve under his left eye twitch. "Fine then. Deidara of Konohagakure. I now introduce you to your partner, Akasuna no Sasori of Sunagakure."

Deidara blankly stared at him, and then turned to Itachi. "So it that the weird hunched creature or the shark?"

Itachi shrugged. "How should I know? And why would a shark be from the desert?"

"Uh…"

Itachi heavily sighed. "Shark Deidara. Desert."

Deidara shook his head. "Hmm…nope! I don't see what you're getting at un."

Sasori had the strong urge to smite the blonde where he stood. "I am Sasori, stupid brat."

Deidara jumped, clearly startled. "It talks!"

Pein smacked his forehead. Idiot!

Sasori had a violent spasm from within Hiruko's shell. And somehow he knew that their peaceful days in Akatsuki had ended, and a new era of idiocy had come into their humble organization.

"I guess that means you're stuck with the shark hmm," Deidara pointed out to his raven-haired friend.

Itachi gave the slightest glare. "I didn't need you to tell me that."

"Yes you did un."

"No. I didn't."

"You looked confused."

"I did not."

"But-"

"Deidara just shut up already!"

"I hate you un!" Deidara's fingers formed a familiar seal. "Kat-"

"Mangekyo Sharingan!" Itachi shouted.

Deidara fell to the ground, holding his eyes. "Ahh! Dear Kami it BURNS! Itachi you bastard!"

Sasori stared.

Kisame looked at Pein. "Are you for real?"

Pein sighed. "Welcome the Akatsuki's latest recruits," he said waving a hand towards the arguing teens.

Day One: Meeting the Members

Pein waved a hand over the crowd of assembled members who were gathered in the living room area, slightly dreading the result of the Akatsuki initiation. After yesterday with the two new recruit's introductions, they had officially made enemies with their partners and effectively destroyed his personal chambers.

His brow twitched. Damn brats…

And now the two stood side-by-side, glancing around with wide eyes at the sight of the other members they had yet to meet.

"Oh my Kami," Deidara breathed, nudging his best friend in the side. "Look at all them un! It's like a giant salad!"

"Or a large assortment of abandoned toys," Itachi muttered.

Everyone soon acquired giant ticks on their heads.

Pein rolled his eyes. "OK. Minna, I would like to introduce our two newest members. They are both very skilled- don't be put off by their idiocy."

"Hey!"

Pein ignored them. "Anyway, Deidara of Iwagakure-"

"Konohagakure."

Pein very subtly twitched. "Of Iwagakure-"

"Konohagakure un."

Pein turned to him with a vein throbbing. "Will you shut up so I can get through this?"

Deidara scoffed and folded his arms, looking away. "Che. Stupid pine cone head…"

Another vein popped. "Nevermind!" Pein huffed and jabbed a thumb in the direction of a smirking raven. "That is Uchiha Itachi of Konohagakure."

Itachi politely inclined his head. "Pleased to meet all you lower beings," he said.

Pein let out a loud sigh of frustration. "You two are impossible."

Deidara flashed a peace sign. "Thanks hmm."

"That wasn't a compliment fool!" Pein was beginning to regret inviting the two shinobi into his humble abode. "Now-" he motioned to the other members. "I will introduce you to your fellow companions. Treat them well."

"Whatever hmm."

"Hn."

Pein surpressed his urge to maim and destroy, instead pointing to the members who surrounded them in clockwise order. "That over there is Konan."

Konan gave a tiny wave.

Deidara beamed and waved back. "I know you un! You let us in here!"

All the Akatsuki glared at the blue-haired woman.

Pein rolled his eyes yet again. "OK. Next to her is Zetsu. He's our ever faithful scout. I trust him fully and would never suspect him of betraying us to work for someone else like Madara Uchiha."

Zetsu gave him a weird look and exchanged a glance with a suddenly un-hyper Tobi.

Pein coughed. "And that is Tobi. He's not an official member yet. We just keep him around for shits and giggles."

Tobi remained unmoving.

Pein hummed. "Hmph. Must have scared him," he muttered under his breath. "Don't worry Tobi," he called. "Madara died long ago."

Itachi glared at the masked man who had shifted closer to Zetsu in answer. Hmm…there's something familiar about him. But what is it?

"Next is Kakuzu-"

"What's in the zoo?" Deidara interrupted.

Kakuzu and Pein both shot holes into the blonde's head.

"My name is Kakuzu," Kakuzu said with a vein throbbing.

Deidara blinked. "What?"

"He said Kakuzu," Pein repeated for him.

Deidara started to shake his head in understanding before moving it side-to-side. "Yeeahhh. No. Not seeing what you're getting at un."

Sasori twitched. Idiotic partner.

Itachi pinched his blonde friend in the side. "Just stay quiet will you?"

"Fine hmm."

Pein held up his hands as a sign of peace, mostly towards Kakuzu who looked ready to dismember the new recruits. "Take it easy you guys. Deidara, Itachi, you all already know your respective partners, so there's no need for introductions I'm sure."

Deidara smirked. "Of course hmm. I've got the frickin' humpback and Itachi has a giant shark un."

Pein smacked a palm to his head. "No! That's not-"

"What was that brat?" Sasori asked, Hiruko's tail twitching threateningly. "Wanna say that to my face?"

Deidara flippantly waved his hand. "No- because then I'd have to bend down. And I've got back problems un."

Itachi smothered a snicker with a cough.

Sasori violently twitched. "You…"

"Ne, Itachi," Deidara suddenly said in a cheerful voice. "I sent Sasu-kun and Naru-chan a letter last night!"

Itachi gave him an interested look. "Really? Whatever for?"

"I have no idea," Deidara admitted. "But I just wanted to make sure they still knew we cared hmm."

"But we don't."

"Yes we do."

"No. And stop using 'we'. There is only 'I'."

"There's no 'I' in 'Team' un!"

Itachi paused and then haughtily turned his nose up. "But there is in 'Itachi'. And that is my name. Therefore, teamwork means nothing to me."

Deidara crossed his arms impatiently. "Yeah right un. You and I always worked together."

"Because you were the only option Deidara," Itachi pointedly said. "Use that brain in your head a bit- oh…nevermind."

Deidara stuck out his tongue. "Teme un."

"Baka."

"Prick."

"Dumbass."

Deidara felt a vein pop, and he uncrossed his arms to stomp his foot. "Shut up you frickin' fatass un!"

Itachi rolled his eyes, a tick appearing on his forehead. "You weigh more than me you ugly little ogre-"

"You're the one with ogre hands-"

"I am not-"

The Akatsuki watched with deadpan expressions as the two argued, only for it to be solved with a brief explosion and tiny lapse into the Nightmare Realm.

Itachi smirked and held a hand out to the fallen blonde who took it with some reluctance. "Are you okay Dei-da-ra?"

"Feeling peachy, Itachi."

Pein felt his brow quirk. "Anyway…moving on…" he motioned to the last member, ignoring the disbelieving looks the rest of the Akatsuki were giving him. "This is Hidan. He's immortal so don't try to kill him."

"Yeah fuckers," Hidan laughed. "Or I just might come back and bite you in the ass!"

Itachi's nose crinkled. "No thanks."

"Yeah un, that's just nasty," Deidara said.

Hidan stopped his chuckling to stare at the pair of teens. "Oh come on- you didn't really- I didn't even mean it like- you kids nowadays are so fuckin' wrong!" he finally said in exasperation, throwing his arms up into the air. "Dammit!"

Deidara smirked. "I love pissing people off," he said in a satisfied tone.

And thus their life started in Akatsuki.

With somewhat bad relations.

A/N: Yeah...it was really going anywhere. It was something I typed up in the middle of Week One, but then they met up with some of the Akatsuki in the Chuunin Exams so...

I thought you might like reading it anyway :)